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I used to wish I was a cat, when I was young. I would watch them, sleeping curled up in the sun without a care in the world, and wish that I could enjoy such luxuries. They soaked in the warmth, sleeping all day, and then went exploring at night when all the interesting things were awake.

I was always jealous. Cats didn't have homework, or alarms that made them get up at 7:00 every morning.

And yet, here I was, tucked away in a small niche on Rika's roof, sleeping in the sun.

It was sooooo nice and warm, no cares, no thoughts, just soaking up the warmth.

Like a cat.

Gradually, however, I began to wake up. I used to be a morning person, and I remembered waking up energized long before anyone else. Sure I liked to take naps, but there was nothing so special about waking up while it was still dark, wrapping up in a blanket and slipping my feet into some warm slippers, and heading up to the roof to watch the sun rise.

As soon as that memory came flooding back to me, I was wide awake, realizing that I'd missed it.

I'd missed the sunrise.

"At least it's a nice day," I yawned and stretched, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the chill of the breeze. I sighed and took a look around, enjoying the view.

Then I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"RIKA!" I exclaimed, jumping into the air, startled out of my wits. She was seated beside me, on the roof, staring at me blankly. I had absolutely no idea how long she'd been there, or that she'd been there at all. "W-what are you doing up here? Heh-heh…." I scratched the back of my head sheepishly, then landed back on the roof.

My heart was racing, adrenaline pumping, and I felt stupid. Stupid, stupid Takato! This is HER roof! What are YOU doing here?

As if reading my thoughts, she narrowed her eyes and glared at me. "What are YOU doing here?" she stressed.

I gulped. Rika always scared me when she was upset, but this time it wasn't just her being cross. I could feel the waves of hurt and bitterness coming off of her…towards me. I hung my head in shame. "I…." I struggled to find words for my reasons. "It's hard for me to keep track of time in the Fairy Kingdom," I mumbled guiltily. "I didn't want…..I don't want to lose anymore time. I don't want to wake up and suddenly find that….that it's years later…..like last time. I couldn't bear it….."

Tears dripped out of my eyes so fast I couldn't catch them in time, but I wiped them off quickly and took a deep breath so as to stop more from coming out.

"And I was tired," I admitted. "I don't think I could have made it all the way back."

She just started at me in dark silence, as though she weren't even thinking anything at all. Just sitting there.

Like I was, yesterday.

I looked at her cautiously, and noticed the dark circles under her eyes, and the red veins in the whites of them. She'd stayed up all night crying…..because of me.

Why could I only cause people pain? Why? Why? WHY?

I turned away, hands clenched into fists. "This isn't fair!" I blurted, hurt in my voice. "I don't want to hurt you, Rika! I never wanted to! I just wanted to be there for you….and I couldn't even do that!" I took a few steps backwards, preparing to leave, and yet hesitant to do so. "I'm so sorry……"

I turned to leave.

"So am I," I heard her whisper. She sighed, then stood up. "But there really isn't anything we can do about it, is there? We can't change the past."

"No," I replied darkly. But I turned around and gave her a compassionate look. "But if anything, I'm glad that I could finally open my eyes. You helped me do that, Rika. You were right, yesterday, about what you said."

This was hard for me to say. I had been avoiding thinking about it, but I knew I couldn't go on until I got through it.

"I had always known in my heart that Jeri didn't feel the same way that I felt about her. It was cruel of me to expect so much from her….I mean, I always tried to be there for her, even when she didn't even want to be my friend anymore. But maybe I just scared her off. I was wrong, and I knew it. I just didn't want to get hurt….I didn't want to let go of my first love." I choked on the words as I spilled them out. "And I'm sorry…..that I didn't realize….I just….I don't want to lose what we had. It's hard for me to think that you and I can't be friends again."

"I never said that," Rika sighed, closing her eyes. She was so tired, so drained. "It's just hard for me to deal with."

I stood there, silent, and wrestled with my feelings. And yet….I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Maybe I had finally come to terms with what I'd known all along…..that Jeri wasn't the girl for me….that she couldn't be what I was trying to make her be.

I let out a sigh of my own.

"I need to apologize to her, somehow," I whispered.

Rika just nodded.

"But how?"

"Just apologize."

"But…..I'm dead to her."

"You're not dead to any of us, Takato." Rika's words were hurt. "My father is dead to me, but he's still alive. You were dead…but you weren't dead to us." She opened her eyes and stared at me, her violet eyes holding mine so that I couldn't look away. "She needs to hear you say it. We all need to hear you say it."

"I'm sorry," I said. But this time, it wasn't because I was sorry for myself. I knew she was right. So I told her so. "You're right," I said. "You usually are."

At that, I got the first real smile I'd seen since…..well…..a year ago. And I smiled in response.

"That's better," she snapped. And she almost sounded like the old Rika.

"So I need to tell everyone I'm alive, then?" I frowned. Somehow, that didn't seem right. "I don't think that's a good idea. Not all of them will be able to see me."

Rika frowned, but suddenly her eyes widened. "I have an idea," she whispered. "I'm going to have everyone come to my house….to call a meeting. We haven't really talked about you since you…."

"Died?"

She frowned slightly, as though she didn't like me repeating it. "Yeah. We need to talk about you. We aren't going to be able to get through this unless we do. Anyway, I want you to come, and I want you to sit with us. If everyone can see you, then you can tell everyone what happened. But if they can't, then I want you to tell everyone who can to not say anything. I don't want to hurt anyone any more than they have to by telling them to look for something they can't see."

I nodded. That felt more right to me.

"I have to warn you though…..it might get pretty emotional." She hesitated. "And awkward."

"Would it be better if I came in after the meeting?" I asked, grinning sheepishly. "I don't want it to be awkward for you…."

"No, I want you to be there….but stay hidden for a while." She took a deep breath. "I want you to hear how much you meant to us. I don't want you to be sad forever either. I think…..I think you're in as much pain as we are."

I tried really hard not to let my tears fall out, but she noticed my watery eyes.

She wiped hers. "Gosh, I hate being so emotional! It's so awful feeling!"

I grinned and coughed a bit. "Me too, but then you've always told me I'm a cry-baby."

"Sensitive," Rika corrected with a smirk. "And a little more emotional than most guys. Course, you did go overboard by crying at the movie Lilo and Stitch…."

I laughed out loud, surprised by how relieved my laugh sounded. It felt nice, too. "What?" I demanded in my defense. "He was waiting the forest, with the book, saying 'I'm lost!' and nobody came for him! How can that not be sad?"

"Oh shut up!" Rika punched my arm playfully.

We laughed and chuckled for a bit….and then quieted down. Rika sat back down on the roof, and I joined her, staring out at the city in the distance. I felt a lot better than I had in a long, long time.

"I'm glad you came back," Rika whispered, after a moment. "I know you never liked me like you did Jeri…but you were always there for me. That meant more to me than anything. So….thanks."

"Any time," I promised. "I'll be around for a lot longer this time."

She grew worried at that. "How long?" she blurted.

I stared at her, then blinked. "I….don't know! I have no idea how long fairies live. But I don't think we live forever! We just have magic, that's all. Sure, I can't fall to my death anymore, and I can separate myself from the flow of Time if I wanted to….by the way, I'm trying very hard not to, so I think I age the same you do…." I sighed, trying to sort my thoughts out. "I just don't know very much about being a fairy. I've only been one for a month and three days…." I stopped. "Or….A year…..in actuality…."

"So you can still die?" she sounded hesitant and relieved at the same time.

"I think so. At least, I know I can get captured."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed and gave her a helpless look. "All I know is that humans can catch me and make me grant them wishes. I don't know how, but I know I can grant wishes. I did last night. That's what made me so tired. But if they capture me, I have to do what they say. I become their slave. If that happens, and the person is evil….they could make me do all sorts of terrible things."

Rika's eyes widened. "Wow, so you could be in real danger!"

"Maybe you could protect me," I teased.

She wasn't joking when she replied with just a serious look. I grew serious too….because I realized what the look meant. She would protect me with her life if she had to, just like I would protect her with mine.

"I'm going to call the others," she said eventually, standing up and heading toward the door into the attic. I followed her, not really wanting to be left alone for some reason. "Are you hungry?"

I didn't know, so I shrugged.

But then my stomach growled.

"I guess you can eat," she smirked. "Come downstairs and wait in the kitchen. I'll be there in a minute."

I nodded, and went down the retractable stairs from the attic to her one-floor, old-style, expensive Japanese house. Her house was always so impressive to me, but I'd been there so many times it felt familiar to me. Like home, almost.

I found my way to the kitchen easily.

Several minutes later, she came down wearing a new outfit, since she hadn't changed since yesterday, and she set her cell phone down on the counter with a sigh. "I've been sighing a lot today," she commented. "Feels good."

I just nodded. For some reason, ever since I'd come back, Rika was much more open with me. It was like all of her walls had dropped, and I hadn't even noticed. Was it because I finally understood? Because she finally told me everything that had been weighing her down? Whatever it was, I hoped that it wouldn't change. I liked this.

"So…."

I waited. "So?" I prompted.

"So what do you want to eat?"

I shrugged. "Toast?"

At that, she smiled in amusement. "Oh good, something easy." She popped a piece of bread into the toaster, and then hopped onto the counter. "What do you want on it?"

I opened my mouth to say "butter and peanut butter," but was interrupted before I could say anything.

Rika's Grandmother walked into the room, looking a little surprised. "Is someone here?" she asked Rika, walking over to her and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

Rika brushed it off with a grimace and an embarrassed look. "Just talking to myself," she murmured. "It's easier than talking to nobody."

Her Grandmother's eyes held a lot of hurt and compassion, and she patted Rika's face. "You look better today," she said. "But you look like you haven't slept a wink! You better go take a nap. And eat something more than toast, okay?"

"I will…." Rika droned, hoping her Grandmother would leave.

"Your Mother will be back in time for dinner….is there anything you want tonight?"

Rika was about to brush her off again, but noticed me waiting patiently for her to be done, and thought better of it. "Actually yeah," she said slowly. "I was thinking….well I want to invite some friends over to spend the night. My old group of friends. We need…..we need to talk about Takato, and none of us are doing it. I think I need to start, or no one is going to get over this."

Her Grandma gave her a proud and incredulous look, then burst into tears. "Oh Rika…." She hugged her, ignoring her granddaughter's uncomfortable look.

I slipped out of the room, smiling at Rika to let her know she could have a moment alone, and went outside. I was glad….very glad….because I knew she was healing. It gave me hope….that perhaps, I could keep my old friendships after all. Just because I was a fairy didn't mean I could still be there for them, no matter what Samas or the ice fairy said!

I caught a fleeting color yellow from the corner of my eye, and turned quickly to see what it was.

But it was gone before I could see it. Frowning, I stood there and wondered.

Should I be worried? Or was it just a bird?

I didn't know, so I waited. Rika would come get me when she was ready, anyway.

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Comments? Critiques? Love em. Lay em on me!

-Rika195