2011年04月07日
Dear Voldemort,
We've come to a shocking... and somewhat scary- no, scratch that- a positively terrifying realization.
How many horcruxes did you create again? Let's see... there's the cup-chalice thingy, the Diadem, the diary, the ring, the snake, the locket, Harry Potter, and you- the master soul. So doesn't that make it eight soul pieces, not seven? Screwed up the whole 'greatest magical number' shit, didn't it?
Anyway, before you ask, no, that is not what horrifies us. It is what this means that troubles us. When you look back on the active horcruxes (and of course in the term active, we mean the horcruxes we see in action such as Nagini, the locket, the diary, Harry Potter, and you), you realize that they are in fact you. They have grown their own forms to look and act exactly as you did when you were alive and at the time you created each individual one.
Where getting there, calm down.
What's interesting is that each of your horcruxes have been destroyed. We like to think that the soul parts might have merged back with you, the master soul, but the term 'destroy' completely blows that idea right out of the water, doesn't it? Harry and his friends, the famous Golden Trio, destroyed your horcruxes. Does that mean they went to horcrux heaven? Or, most likely, horcrux hell?
Now this, my Lord, is what we would like to draw your attention to. When the points are put together, there is really only one conclusion to come to. There are seven dead Tom Riddles waiting for you on the other side.
That is a fate not even an Evil!Harry Potter would wish upon you. For your fate, we are dearly sorry, my lord. We feel your pain.
Think about that before you try to kill Harry Potter once more.
Sincerely,
The Readers and Writers of Fanfiction
Next Day's Daily Prophet:
LORD VOLDEMORT SURRENDERS!