A/N: Is everyone okay? LMAO I slayed everyone even myself! I lost it over one part and that was AJE pulling out her tambourine and as I was reading the reviews not ONE of y'all mentioned it because of the other thing I typed. I was on the phone last night laughing nonstop because of that while playing my game then I called my other friend losing it all over again I choked on water they we were just running down the foolishness I've created. Zini told me in our PMs that I'm a comedic genius that took me by surprise, I don't know if I'm worthy of that title, but thank you…these are her words via Zini The saying "laughter is the best medicine" is true because I had a headache before reading the latest chapter and by the time I finished the chapter my headache was gone! Probably cuz I laughed so much haha, look at me delivering folks from headaches! I'm doing something right! Shall we!
Happy Reading. (:
Shane's POV
Resting my head on the table I raised my head as the door opened. "Hello, I'm Detective Mullins let's make this quick tell me what happened at the school?" He sat back twiddling his thumbs.
"You think you know but you have no idea this, this is actual event through my eyes this is Interrogation Shane's Truth, where do you want me to start? When I came in to the picture or Tank?"
"Do you have any involvement with anything previously?"
I shook my head. "No, I don't Tank told me he found the school where TJ was attending through a mutual friend of ours, he and his cousin Rick before he was killed checked out the school grounds and took pictures."
"Why?"
"Well Mercedes wasn't texting him back he wanted to make sure the school was safe and catered to TJ's needs the park the whole nine."
"Mmm mmm….between you and Tank y'all must think I'm a damn fool. You know Tank has a restraining order right?"
"Yeah, he told me about it."
"So if he told you about the order why in the hell did you drive him to the school, ever heard of this saying,no, I'm not going to drive you there, it's not a good idea. Why?"
"He's a friend. You wouldn't do the same for you friend that misses his son?
"Hell to the no I wouldn't do shit for a friend if I knew that him being that close jeopardizes the lives of the people we are trying to protect. He had a fake ID do you have one of those too?"
"No, I don't have a fake ID, mine is the real deal although…Tank house was robbed he said some of his boxes were missing he's moving to Maryland he put the remainder in storage."
"His house was robbed? Did he call the police to report this?"
"Not that I know of he just told me I know for a fact that he wouldn't lie about that."
"Detective Mullins is calling that a damn lie if he didn't call the authorities to report this it didn't happen. This is Tank we're discussing I've dealt with his mother and now him. They both crazy and will say anything to take make them seem like the victim or put it on someone else. You better be lucky Tank didn't put blame with you he's already on his way to link up with his inside bae, I'm going to let you go, you don't have nothing on you I'll walk you out."
"Thank you."
Jenny's POV
"I'm pregnant."
"Did she say that she's pregnant? Am I being Punk'd someone playing a joke on me? Who the daddy?"
"Could be either Tank or…S-Shane we both…"
I patted my chest coughing. "You had sex with Tank and Shane, together? You know, don't even answer that question first and foremost that's just nasty I just finished my 4th cup of HNC I was in mid swallow."
"What the fuck is HNC?" I showed Kianna the box. "Honey Nut Cheerios, I know you tweak stuff but I was waiting for the "I", you a fool HNC. Do you abbreviate any other cereal?"
"Hell yeah, CTC, that's Cinnamon Toast Crunch, CNC, Cap 'n Crunch, and C, just Cheerios, F squared, that's Frosted Flakes, FP is Fruity Pebbles, HBO Honey Bunches of Oats, FL Fruit Loops, Double G's, Golden Grahams, SRTAFK…is"
"Wait…SRTAFK there is no damn cereal that has that many fucking words. What is it?"
"Silly rabbit Trix are for kids."
Kianna leaned over laughing. "You a damn fool, SRTAFK Whew! Jen, really, have you tried those fruit cheerios? I wonder what they taste, if anyone out there in ficland has tried that cereal tell me what it taste like until then, let's hit up Amazon and read their reviews."
"No I haven't I'm already there it has 4.5 stars out of five."
"Hello…Hello."
"Let me drink this here milk, they look like FL, you know when I was a kid I hated Fruit Loops I used to let them bad boys get soggy on purpose I finally had a bowl some years back I don't know what I was on but I actually liked them they not that bad. Haven't had a bowl since, I don't want one. Who knew? Man! The only go 3 left in stock, they must be good."
"Hello Sarah here."
"Yeah, I still don't know corn and fruit it's messing with my brain. Listen to this review; it has more fruit flavor than any other cereal better than some other brands 72 percent of the people love it. I may give it a try."
"Hello…Ki and Jay…Hello…Are you guys going to talk to me? Ask me questions."
"Check Golden Grahams you said that you never had them before maybe a review may sway you to try them out cause you asked me what they taste like I can't explain it, you just have to taste it, you got, you got, you got, you got to taste it, taste it."
"Tank says I taste like chicken….he taste like he doesn't really have a flavor."
"Jen, you'll tweak anything."
"That is the truth I am the Remix Queen, look, I'll read this one so Golden Grahams, got 4.7 stars that's 0.02 stars more this said that it's not too sweet a honey and graham mixed together, stays crunchy doesn't get soggy quick. That's my kind of cereal. Hell I'm going to order me a box. You want one?"
"What's the price? I'm over here look at this animal print throw it looks so soft! I'm going to buy this."
"Um its $11.75, damn they only got 7 boxes left should I get all 7 or no leave some for the others."
"You want all 7. You said it yourself that you go in and out of cereal."
"Tank loves cereal and…"
"That's true I'm only going get 2 boxes, some of these Reese's spreads, and grab these last 2 mini Oreos for LJ."
"Got him this case of Pringles too, gonna be me those, and that express that shit I'm done. How about you?"
"I'm done. Now what were we talking about I could have sworn we were talking to someone."
"Hello, hello, and hello I've been trying to get you guys attention for the last 20 minutes y'all up in there order shit off of Amazon not caring abou…"
"You know what 20 minutes before the hour." I removed my headphones. "Why did you let her through I thought we had an important call we were about to get into the news."
"News can wait to the next hour as you heard Sarah says that she's pregnant."
"So I heard that, you didn't buy that shit did you?" I poured me another cup of HNIC.
"Well yeah she sent me a photo of her pregnancy test."
"What? Where is the photo of the pregnancy test? I want to see this for myself."
"Yeah, she sent me an email I don't have it with me I'll forward it to you once I get back to my computer but she's pregnant."
"Are you serious? Why would she send you a pregnancy test, that doesn't make any damn sense? I'll believe it when I see the damn test. Fine we'll talk to her but, why are you handing me this paper with questions on it."
"You want us to ask her the pre-written questions."
"How do you and Tank get along? Who wear the pants in the relationship? Who loves who the most?" Kianna balled up the paper throwing it in his face. "We aren't asking her any of these weak ass questions we just going to let Sarah tell her story opening up the lines letting Mercedes Mafia go in, Jay you good with that?"
"Always with that being said get out, get out, and get out." I slid my headphones on. "And we're back sorry about us not paying much attention earlier to who was on the line Kianna asked about my HNC so we did not give one damn but this is a treat for you ladies and gentleman on the line with us is Sarah that's right." I clapped dryly two times yawning. "What?"
"What you mean what is that anyway you talk to a guest you invited on your show?"
"You not a damn guest you welcomed yourself on the air and the producer saw fit to allow you on, truth be told he's walking a thin line as I scroll through my iTunes playlist of the door hitting him here the God lord split him or my 9.5 Nikes becoming a fixture up his ass. So, what made you call in?"
"Tank my wonderful husband just wanted to see his son off to school today is his first day of 1st grade some crazy chick beat him up, he wasn't bothering you why did you have to go cause trouble he was minding his you could have and should have minded yours!"
"So, that is why you called into the show." Kianna sighed. "Anything else?"
"Why don't y'all have any sympathy for me? My husband is probably gone for a few months because of her! TANKETTES, T UP!"
"So what we can't do anything about that but this listen if you are the one that laid hands on Tank please call into the show the number is 858-101-5555 and Tankettes don't T up for nothing I don't want to lay my eyes on your ugly selves for believing this piece of shit. We have a caller already Denise! What's going on? But before we let you at Sarah, what's your favorite cereal?"
"I get down with the HBO, there wasn't much going on with me until I heard laid hands on Tank if you looking for the person who did it, it's me, what the hell are you going to do about Sarah?!"
"I want her to go down to the police station so she can get my husband out and take his place so he can be free and her behind bars maxing and relaxing with Big Virginia?"
"Before I dig into you real good I want to drop some advice on you, you need to have some self-respect and stop being a desperate gold digging slut jumping under any man with a couple dollars, house and a car. If you think for once that I'm about to drive to the police station and get Tank out for your ass you got another thing coming which jail he at Sarah tweet me the address I'll bail him out but y'all gon need a bail by Jesus once he free cause imma slit both yall throat and bury you face down in the dirt. JT where mommy hatchet!"
"Oooooh shit! This is getting good! Let me pull out my popcorn."
"I have self-respect boo-boo and I don't gold dig for nothing all the men that came my way only got with me because they like what they saw!"
"Lies all damn lies are you really pregnant or just saying that for people to feel sorry for you, because I don't feel anything at the moment, my spirt just telling me that you're lying. You have that lying demon!"
"You would be right she sent us a pregnancy test of a damn box! Go in sweetie little dee do dee dee."
"With pleasure! First off idk why you lying about being pregnant neither Shane nor Tank a catch. You so desperate and deserted you can't even see they playing you to get to Mercedes. You need to try to keep your creaky legs closed and stay off the pole you low down dusty skank who never had a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. You disease ridden heifer go jump in a free flowing river and crack your skull on the biggest sharpest rock."
"Who do we have next on the line?"
"We have Mary, wassup boo go in and left have but before that, favorite cereal?"
"Honey Bunches of Oats or Captain Crunch no let's get one thing clear: you are a thirsty lying piece of trash. You think you can stir up some sympathy? Not gonna work with us! If you think saying you're pregnant will save you from getting beat by Tank it won't work. Wake up sweetie you're just second best, and come to think of it you didn't even place... Sorry the lesbians scored higher than you did. Lying makes you look even worse! You dusty stay dusty boo boo and get the hell away from Tank. When the hammer comes down it will hit you too! Woah, woah woah ain't nobody standing the gap for Tank but you so you better get yo ass to the precinct and get in a damn cell."
"Who do we have next?"
"I have next Jackie. New caller! Where you been?"
"Jackie, I got to do this its right there I don't know where she's been I don't know where she's at, all I know is Jackie's back. Go 'head Jackie! But first your favorite cereal."
"I've been around for a while long time reader first time caller and I love me some Pops. Pop go the weasel 'cause the weasel say Pop. Sarah it's time for you to wake up if it has happened 3 times then it can happen a 4th time and it would be you. Tank hasn't changed not one bit!"
"Yes, he has you don't know him like I know him he found the Jesus."
"Stop lying I know Jesus is love but sometimes I wonder does he want to be on his side. Let me guess, the lord knows his heart. This is just the beginning we'll be right back after these messages the lines are lighting up and my twitter is ablaze all I'm seeing are mics and praise hands emoji's which means which means Mercedes Mafia is coming in for the kill next after these messages. Pops! I totally forgot about them. How is traffic Bob?"
TJ's POV
"Yeah, Uncle JJ and Aunt Stacey is an item they bribed up us with $100, speaking of my money. MWIMM." I held out my hand.
"TJ! Why would you out me and Stacey?"
"Y'all not Sam and Mercedes, you guys are Aunt Stacey and Uncle JJ, the reviewers love you guys the shipped y'all in the last few chapters of Abused they dubbed y'all Jacey."
"We're out. You guys are okay with us dating I mean there is an age difference between us by 6 years."
"Baby girl said it best. Age ain't nothing but a number, throwing down ain't nothing but a thang, this loving I have for you it'll never change now since that is out." I tapped mommy on her knee. "MWIMM?"
"We don't mind at all JJ I saw you kiss Stacey when you were taking the kids down to the beach it's fine with me. Go tell Stacey that…."
"The secret is out, yes, secret is out, I'm so glad y'all secret is out yeah yeah yeah I'm so glad the secret.."
"CrashCut stop it! You got a song for everything! Before I was interrupted by TJ and his A and B selections." I fell out laughing. "Yes, we approve of you two being together."
"Whew! Okay I'm going to tell Stacey."
"MWIMM."
"What is that I don't know what you are saying? Is that even a word?"
"No, it's not a word those letters make up a saying, it's going to be on my Kids Bop Mix tape called, TJ Remixes and that song is a clean version BBHMM called, Mommy Where Is My Money." Mommy pointed towards the door. "Too soon?"
"Either go outside to play or in the game room I've already dealt with enough foolishness with J3, I'm not having it with you."
"I'm going to go outside." I grabbed Conniehey's leash. "Gabby! Hi Aunt Brittany, where is Aunt Tana?"
"Aunt Tana had to step out right quick no worries she'll be back in time to bless the food. Hi Conniehey, did you and Lord Tubbington play good with each other earlier?"
Meow [No]
Arf [Hell No.]
Meow [Hey we finally agreed on something.]
Arf [This unification won't last for long, Jenny probably make us start hating each other in between chapters. Let's go relax in the grass.]
"I'm going inside you two have fun playing."
"Okay mom we will! TJ I saw Jazzy, PawPaw and Monica come visit, did you play house with Jazzy?"
"No, she wanted to but I asked her for an annulment she tried to get at me with her sultry ways she kissed me." I covered my mouth. "Ummm…"
"Why she kissing my boo?! Oooh! I'm going to beat her when I see her. She can go after Ian or Logan you belong to me!"
"Yeah, you right." I kissed her on the cheek. "Okay enough about Tabby I outed Aunt Stacey and Uncle JJ just now they were denying being a couple."
"Why did you do that TJ, they probably gonna come back for the $100 I already invested that in my wedding fund for us in 20 years from now."
"Wedding? I'm using my $100 to fund my studio time for my mix tape I want you to be on it you can say the opening prayer." J3 came out the house. "J3, did you get mommy's text?"
"No, why she sent it?" He pulled out his phone.
"I think she did I had her phone when I went to their room but I don't know because mommy took her phone from me. Everyone wants to know what your question is; Glam-ma wrote it in her review."
"J3 sent Aunt Mercedes a text and he still hasn't got his response?!"
"Yup, crazy right Gabby."
"Yeah, that you think you gonna get it even I know better but tell us what was your question, but I'm gon' say this forget it homey you not getting that text."
"The question I asked Mercedes was." He looked at his phone. "I don't know it got deleted that's why I want her to text me back so she can tell me what I sent her."
"Huh?" I took Gabby hand. "Come on Gabby I don't have time for this foolishness and neither do you! Who is Uncle Stevie on the phone with?"
"I don't know let's be nosy." We sat on the picnic table lying back looking at the clouds. "Be quiet."
"Yeah…well I know I heard you on the radio crazy you got the chance to lay hands on him and I didn't. We should team up. You be my boo I be yours would you like that. What should we go by? Hmm…let me think Stenice…."
"UNCLE STEVIE GOT A BOO!"
AJE'S POV
Jacey in full effect about time where my money at! Anyway y'all can give it to me when I come out I need a new tambourine the zils popped out of this one when I found out about daddy's stick, I'm still traumatized that he had a POV hope I don't hear from him again! I'm about to call The KiJay Smith Show…"
"Who do we have next Kianna?"
"We have an AJE…."
"Wait….the fetus! The chick that been calling while I was on vacation! How in the hell you get the number to this show?"
Don't worry about all of that! Where that desert trick Sahara at what's your address?!
A/N: ALL OF Y'ALL REVIEWS HAD ME ROLLING! I'M STILL LAUGHING! Mary and Denise my friends said that I should drop a mini chapter and here it is. Until tomorrow guys iamJLS OFF TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES!