Author: Pammazola

Title: My Will, Forever

Genre: Romance/Angst

Words: 1, 247

Rating: M

~oOo~

It was a long time in waiting. Every second that passed with the slipping daylight was like another stitch in her heart, and sharp piercing of a thin needle pricked and stabbed at the dead object within her. An attempt at healing made in vain. She used to believe in miracles, but also in forgiveness as well. Neither would be attainable tonight, or ever after. Sometimes, she would close her eyes and try to remember what it was like to be in love. Vaguely, a sense of warmth washed through her, a distant echo of an emotion that was once so powerful now deduced to nothing but a bittersweet memory. It hurt. It would always hurt. People lied when they said the pain subsided given time. If anything, it festered and spread like poison. Each day that she tried to move on seemed to strengthen her need to hold onto the past with a grip as tight as death. When waking every morning to see the graves of the two people she loved most in the world nestled in the comfort of the sycamore trees – it only solidified her resolve that happiness could not be achieved again and this long and winding road called life was nearing the end of its journey. Though, notquite yet. Perhaps in the earliest months of her depression many things slipped under her radar of notice. Now she learned to push that agony deep within herself, to maintain awareness in this continuously progressing world around her. She could not move on, and no one was willing to wait for her. Emerging from such a long darkness to find herself utterly alone… it would have broken her.

Instead, a single soul dared to venture near, testing the rushing rapids of her sorrow, and careful to reign in the moment it appeared she detected she had company. This person hid himself in a cloak of many shadows, masking any traces he was near almost completely, but she was never fooled. The magnificent signature aura swept over the village and surrounding land. He was unable to conceal himself from spiritual beings and other youkai. For one thought to be so unstoppable it was amusing rather the way that he resorted to games of hide-and-seek. He wanted to be close to her, for some reason. She did not think him clever, but a coward. Honestly, how could she not recognize the heavy weight of amber eyes gazing at her back?

Pathetic man; only a matter of time, and he would be unable to stay away for much longer.

The woman called Rin prepared herself. Ominous clouds hung low in the sky, threatening with thunder and lightning. The wind rushed through the woodlands, scaring off the smaller animals. Most of the people who inhabited the village ran behind solid walls, sealing their doors tightly to keep out unwanted debris. For the most part, they were kind and generous to Rin, ever since the untimely death of her parents. A plague that swept through Nippon claimed the lives of thousands. She was fortunate to have neighbors who took her under their wing and raised her. She formed life-long friendships and close ties to the village officials, a group of well-known demon slayers. They looked out for the little orphan girl, and in return she cooked their dinners or repaired their clothing. Back then, things had been so simple.

Thinking of the demon slayers suddenly brought a fragmented flashback to come to mind; a handsome grin accompanied by muscular arms that held her in an embrace so full of warmth just the memory of it caused the harsh sting of the now falling rain to cease. She knew that smile well. She yearned for it every day for the past year. It belonged to a man who did not deserve the death he received. Had things worked out the way that they were meant to, he would still be there with her, and the pain in her heart might just be a little more bearable. Maybe. No one could ever fully heal from the torment Rin was forced to endure.

Climbing the slope of a grassy hilltop, the young woman prepared herself for the unknown events yet to unfold once she reached him. The uncertainties of her combat skills were enough to try anyone's nerves, but she remained sure of herself. Though being in the company of the village demon slayers, Rin never trained under their instructors, which would have meant a permanent settlement within their clan. If she had not been so strict on the path of a future with the man she married, perhaps Rin would have pursued that lifestyle and found the family that she craved for years.

Still, where did everything go wrong? Why were two more of the people she desperately loved dead? Why did he do it?

The answers to those questions do not matter any longer. The truth cannot repair all that evil destroyed.

A steadily growing wet downpour drained upon Rin, but she held her ground firmly. To come his far only to turn back was not an option. She could not last one more day in that dark hut, alone. Today, an eternal peace was just within reach.

He wore a white kimono that fit loosely to his lean body structure, allowing the silk fabric to be whipped behind him by a strong gust of wind. The rain hardly seemed to faze him, though certainly he was becoming as drenched as Rin. A notable change in his appearance was the absence of his classical silver mane, which was now chopped short, right above his shoulders. He still stood proudly, as if looking down upon her as a greater being and that was undoubtedly the case. His kind were not supposed to love humans. It brought nothing but heartache and turmoil.

Sesshoumaru Inu no Taisho was never one to follow restrictions, even those of racial and social classes. From the day he had laid eyes on Rin he wanted her. He wanted her now. Being a youkai meant that was supposed to be impossible, but he did not care. The Lord of the West would possess her entirely, one way or another.

Rin took in his calm deposition, a face free of any decipherable expression. The hollow emptiness she saw in his gaze twisted her insides in silent agony. She remembered, a long time ago, those same golden irises were overflowing with radiant happiness, and that thin line of his mouth was a lop-sided, knowing smile. Distant memories flooded into her mind, of the joy she used to feel seeing him, and love. This youkai contrasted greatly with the man she remembered him as, but had he not warned her so long ago of the consequences of loving him? Rin was sure at one point he honestly felt the same feelings for her, but that Sesshoumaru was gone, lost to the changing seasons just like everyone else she ever cared for.

He might as well be dead.

Rin's lips pulled back in a vicious snarl, baring her teeth at the youkai who stole everything and ruined her entire life. She raised the chained silver sickle from behind her back, posed to charge.

"I am going to kill you, Sesshoumaru," her hoarse voice whispered, drowned by thunder. "And then I will kill myself."

~oOo~

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