Author's Note: Hiya. Giving credits to Two Door Cinema Club's lyrics, Undercover Martyn. Thanks for the reviews for the past days. Keep reviewing and you might expect quick updates, maybe? Enjoy!
Disclaimer: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STATE I DON'T OWN VICTORIOUS? I DON'T OWN THEM AND IT HURTS.
Ch. 10; Undercover Martyn
And she spoke words that would melt in your hands.
And she spoke words of wisdom...
Jade's mother was sound asleep even though her daughter has been constantly poking her sides for the past five minutes. She softly snored and Jade furrowed her eyebrows. Jade shook her mother's back, still no response or reaction.
"Mom, wake up...Hey. Wake up...WAKE UP!" Jade yelled causing her mother falling off of her chair.
"WHAT?" Her mother screamed back. Jade put her hands onto her sides and asked,
"You were sleeping on your laptop...Well actually...Hah, more like drooling on it. Were you up all night chatting with someone new or something?"
"Oh...no..." Jade's eyebrow rose above to her forehead.
"Well...let's see here..." Jade's mother's eyes widen as she saw her daughter's hand trying to get a hold of the laptop. Jade's mother quickly slapped her daughter's hands to retrieve the laptop back.
"Ow! Mom! What was that all about?" Jade said while rubbing the area of tinged pain her mother caused.
"...It's my laptop. Privacy, honey. You learned that already, right? Since I'm mostly out of your bedroom now and you won't let me in to your room anymore.." Jade's mother's fingers were tapping in a musically beat as she could feel Jade's suspicion and eyes against her skin and face.
"Yeah...sure. Learned that...Just that this is new coming from you, Mom. You always talk about nearly anything about yourself to me; you never had a secret that you couldn't tell unless it's suppose to be a surprise I guess..." Jade said, suspiciously. Jade's mother felt a bit of panic and anxiety rushing in her. She doesn't want her daughter to figure what she plans on doing at the moment; in fact, she doesn't even know if she was ready and willing enough to do this plan she conducted. Jade walked to the kitchen and made some green tea for herself and her mother. Her mother nodded, "thanks", and sipped quickly as the heat of the tea burns through her throat and tongue, and into her stomach. Jade was sipping her tea slowly with such a concern that was itching her. Once her mother was done with her drink within the couple of minutes, her fingers were tapping musically again with the laptop in front of her. Jade gazed upon her mother's uneasiness on herself. Knowing her mother, she wouldn't dare to keep anything from Jade and she would tell anything to Jade even if it was horrible news being given to her. There has got to be something wrong.
"Mom. You do know you can talk to me once something bothers you, right?.." Jade gradually asked.
"Yeah, I know, hun.." Jade's mother was giving her attention more to the laptop than Jade. Jade tried to snatch her laptop but her mother was way too hasty for her.
"Mom! What's going on?"
"Nothing!...What's going on with you, dear?...I heard you talking last night to yourself...or so in reality, you were.." Jade's expression was filled with bewilderment; she thought her mother has fallen asleep before Jade got home.
"...Were you eavesdropping on me?"
"Hun, you were talking to yourself loud and I heard you cry...I listened through the whole discussion...I thought you got over her, Jade." Jade's mother's teeth was cutting the dry skin on her lip and the more harder pressure comes, it was because she senses her daughter will have a tantrum towards her. Jade's face was still cement as before; she guessed already that her cries should be decreased from before cause look where it got her again.
"..What do you mean, "got over" her, Mom?"
"...Well, I don't know...I mean...ever since the hospital, you started to have a closure with yourself. You and I never had a real...depth conversation in a long time since then. You didn't really speak anything about your days or anything particularly on your mind, you know?" Jade started to look directly down to her long brunette hair and used her split ends that she would play with to not let the unrefined tension seep through the air.
"Heh, well do you want me to discuss with you the past days and months? It's been fantastic. The scripts I've written before and now for Drama class has been going great. Getting good grades as usual. Uhhh, made some...interesting friends.." Jade lied.
"...And yeah, that's about it..." Jade was still toying with her hair as her mother takes in these perceptible lies her daughter just spoken a moment ago.
"Jade, I can tell when you lie and can tell when you're not." Jade's gaze was aiming at her mother's face.
"Okay then." Jade murmured. Jade's mother massaged her temples as her daughter takes another sip of her tea. Jade's mother started to state,
"If you had friends, you would of had them to come over. You always tell me you go to the library after school or some place in Manhattan which makes me feel anxious since I don't know if you really are telling the truth to me or not. I know you take part of Drama class and you have good grades. What concerns me enough though is just you crying over something that I thought that it would be forgotten already."
"...It's no big deal, Mom."
"Well when a situation is already led to tears and misery, I think it's quite a big deal."
"I don't think you should be concerned about this, Mom." Jade's eyes narrowed down to the ground while she felt her mother's eyes aiming at her.
"I should because I'm your mother and I'm responsible of your own doings and self. What happened? Have you even talked to Cat recently or before?"
"...I haven't talked to her since we left Los Angeles." Jade said, deliberately. Jade's mother turned off her laptop so she could talk to Jade with full diligence and to finally discuss what has been haunting Jade since then.
"Why not?"
"Because..."
"Because...?"
"Ugh, Mom! None of this concerns you!"
"Your eyes still looks puffy from last night...What ever happened between the two of you? You two loved each other as best friends should...I don't understand why all of a sudden you two never communicated as much since middle school occurred.."
"Well, Mom...People move on!" Jade threw her arms in the air as her mother was starting to itch her temper.
"Ah yes. They do but some people don't. For example; I had the impression of you not getting over this situation you had or have at the moment with Cat by the way you acted last night." Jade's eyes focused on the ceiling while herself focused on what her mother is trying to say.
"Jade, I'm saying that it's okay to admit you feel a strong sorrow about this. Losing someone who was a part of you, who's been through everything with you, is an issue that could be so difficult to over come and forget. I know how Cat and you act towards each other. I know how connected you two were with the amount of similarities and differences you two had. She was out of the ordinary and you were too. She had a very...dashing personality while you were opposite of that. Both of you were opposites and sometimes, opposites attain connection and having someone who isn't you is comforting since sometimes, we can be very weary of ourselves and we would know what we would exactly do if we met ourselves. I could see how you two loved each other very much, dear." Jade's expression was blank once her mother started speaking but as her mother continues, she became coarse and unrefined.
"I bet Cat still loves you, Jade. The girl maybe filled with joy and a very wide attention span that she couldn't notice what's going on with her surroundings but I bet on my life she misses her best friend and is very sad about her friend's unexpected departure...which I should apologize by the way."
"Pft. Sure." Jade scoffed. Her mother fluttered out some air.
"I knew this would be so difficult on you, Dear..."
"..I didn't know it would have all along, you know.."
"Mmm, I suppose. But anyways, it's okay to confess that you haven't felt so content with what's been happening recently. What's poisoning your happiness is that you keep bottling up all these emotions you've been trying to handle but the more it piles within you, the more weight compresses within you that once it's almost filled, you start to erupt it out that could hurt definitely yourself and others. I know once you get so angry, you use your scissors to cut whatever you see..and oh, thank god you don't do anything abusive with yourself with that...but yes, that or just anything really that's stress reliving that gets the anger out of your system. So honey, I just want you to please...please, tell me what's on your mind for now on." Jade's mother reached out Jade's hand.
"You are powerful, Jade, but sometimes, the strongest has their weakest moments. The strongest would feel to forget what they have held causing them to feel weak. The strongest has the ability to cry and don't get me wrong, crying is probably one of the benefactors to become more stronger as you have held so much care and pain for the issue. The strongest has already convey the gravity that the issue pressured into and will have to overcome it as they walk. The strongest who has steady with it's weak parts has become strong. And..." Jade's mother walked around the table to Jade and set her finger under Jade's chin to put her head up.
"And the strongest has always been you. It always has. Through all you've endured, you're still living. You're still living before my eyes. You're still strong." Jade flickered her eyes towards her mother's face.
"I'm weak, Mom."
"Honey..."
"I heard what you said...but I don't know. I'm strong but I can't accept the fact that I'm weak at the same time." She stood up and gently pushed her mother away. Her thoughts start to whisper and it starts to make Jade feel the mixture of fury and melancholy all at once. Jade's mother didn't know what to say anymore to encourage Jade to keep on moving as life goes on. Jade left her no more words to keep alive for Jade.
You hid there last time, you know we're gonna find you.
Sick in the car seat, cause you're not up to going,
Out on the main streets, completing your mission.
She walked up to the roof of the apartment her mother and her lived in. She tried to hide away from her mother and her thoughts but it was so rigid to stay away from her thoughts since it was the only best friend she had for the past months. They would find her and she would find them eventually. Her thoughts were the place of two people as it was Jade herself and some other despair of herself. The despair would always discuss to Jade the cons about everything she thought about. Every memory she didn't want to think about once it lingers the fact Jade can't have that back. Every tragedy occurring that made Jade believed that it was all her fault when whatever has happened was meant to happen. Despair was one horrible friend she could ever get. She didn't feel to complete happiness anymore and it was every humans' goal towards life. She couldn't trust Despair and it's motives as it could directly take you to where the light stops. It was a Saturday in the midst of New York and Jade sat the ledge of the roof. She steadied herself as she focuses on the idea of what would happen if she can just let go of her soul by bounding out of the ledge.
And she spoke words that would melt in your hands...
And she spoke words of wisdom...
Home alone as usual for the little Valentine. Dark hues already landed in Los Angeles and Cat snuggling with her Care Bear blanket she had when she was little while watching some Looney Tunes. For the past hour, mini ice cream buckets and strawberries were spread all over the table in front of the couch Cat was sitting on. This is one way to feed off of sadness... Cat thought as she took the last bite of the mini ice cream bucket. Once one of her favorite episodes finished off with Porky Pig saying his farewell as he popped out of the Looney Tunes credit sign, another episode was going to air but her mind was too busy thinking about the past. Before long, Cat changed the channel due to lack of comedy there was in the next episode and a channel caught her eyes. The channel showed, Breakfast At Tiffany's, and it was one of Cat's favorite movies as it taught her something she never thought through. No, it didn't necessarily taught Cat about what was a prostitute like in the golden days but it taught her what love does to everybody and where it could possibly lead to; even if it led someone within the relationship somewhere in the dead end or led them into a good sturdy pathway. It also taught her that Love was one of the significance that bought people together; people or two individuals plainly loving each other's existence and presence. It wasn't only the movie who helped her to understand what was Love's motives. Jade helped Cat for understanding and what's out there by expressing her perspectives about Love. Her and Jade watched Breakfast At Tiffany's once and that was when Jade gave her a lesson on what she thought strongly. She was just in time to watch the scene where Holly sings, "Moon River"...and there, her mind started to drift off into another world.
"Hey...Jade?"
"Mmm what?" Jade wasn't giving her full attention to Cat as she watched the Television.
"What are we watching?" Cat asked.
"Breakfast At Tiffany's I think."
"Oh. I never heard of that movie but it looks good..."
"Me either. Interesting, huh?"
"That actress is pretty."
"Yeah, she is."
The two were sitting on the Valentine's couch as they watched. The living room was chilly and the heater of the house was broken at the moment. Cat and Jade were bundled up in blankets while Cat rested her head on Jade's shoulder. The television kept shrieking as the actress and actor within the TV were arguing over something Cat couldn't understand. Jade could feel Cat frowning against her skin.
"What's wrong now, Cat?" Jade said, quietly.
"Why are they fighting?" Cat asked, innocently.
"Well...because one is disagreeing while the other agrees which creates an argument with one another."
"What do ya mean?"
"Well..they have differences.."
"What differences?"
"Ack. Cat, I don't feel like explaining..."
"Why not?" Cat stood up and gazed at Jade's eyes with a pout. Jade glanced back but tried to ignore until Cat started whimpering like a dog with her lips still pouting.
"...God. Why do you want to know?"
"Because I'm so confused, Jade! They seem...so angry at each other and...denial? And they look like they're about to kiss or somethin'." Jade still tried to scorn any attention for Cat but Cat kept rambling on.
"Jade, why did they kiss after all that argument? Couldn't she just not forgive him or well, him forgive her? What's going on?...Jade, what were they even arguing about?...Jade, how did he get the kitty?...Hehe, how did he get me?...Get it, Jadey? Cause my name is-"
"Cat! Stop talking! I'm trying to watch the ending here!" Jade interrupted.
"Oh..right, sorry..." Cat whispered. Jade glanced at Cat as Cat dug herself in the blanket to feel the warmth. Again, Jade felt the ping of guilt for yelling at Cat and not explaining what was happening and pinched Cat's arm.
"Ow! I get it, Jadey! I deserved that. I didn't mean to interrupt anything.."
"Oh no; I pinched you so I could get your attention on me, Cat. I'm sorry...I'll explain." Jade shifted closer to Cat.
"Holly and Paul were arguing because...well exactly what I said; one disagreed while the other agreed. Paul believed Holly was too afraid to admit that she's been head over heels with Paul and completely ignores the fact that she's in love. Holly is a coward, Cat. She set aside her emotions and went on taking people's money to capture riches that could pay off what she wanted with high expenses. Also, went on being with other older men to keep her company that the men pay her for that and she doesn't reach them after her presence is with them ever. Holly and Paul always enjoyed each other's presence and had a good bond with each other even though Holly would rat him out and be selfish. That's one thing about some situations, Cat. Well, relationships. But we're too young for that so I shouldn't be really-"
"JADE! JUST TELL ME ANYWAYS! AGE IS JUST A NUMBER WHO CARESSS" Cat whined.
"OKAY! OKAY! Fine. I'm just telling you in my point of view, okay? I never had any experiences common to theirs."
"Mhmm!"
"..Anyways, where was I?...Oh right; their relationship. Paul was also tied into Holly and cared about her even through her flaws. Holly was a handful to Paul but he didn't mind. I guess something about her made him so connected with her. Holly was a wonderful actress at acting like she never attain any feelings for Paul but Paul sees through Holly. He knew that she had these emotions that I don't think you'll understand here, Cat."
"What emotions, Jade? Just tell me." Cat said, seriously.
"Well, you know...emotions...like...more than friendship."
"Love?"
"Yes, there you go. See you understand, now-"
"Tell me more!" Cat clasped her hands together as she seem to be enthralled with Jade's version of the movie.
"...Fine. What do you think Love is, Cat?"
"Uhmm...Kissing someone on the cheek and lips? Hugging?"
"Haha that's expressing it but it's close enough. You see, Cat. Love is diverged into many possibilities of the Pros and Cons; but it all depends. Whether friends or more, it could get insane. People these days just mess with someone's emotions due to selfishness sometimes. People sometimes are afraid to love. They're afraid that once they love, they'll lose a part of them and who they loved. I think it just depends on the situation everybody is in, you know?...In Holly and Paul's situation, Holly fears she'll loose herself by loving Paul. Holly also thinks of herself mostly and doesn't seem to care about how much her motives affect Paul very much. Paul feels hurt with whatever she's been doing. She was selfish enough to not admit her feelings to him and to not think about what Paul felt. Remember, Paul explained to Holly that she's a chicken; 'Life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' From what I've heard, falling in love is indescribable. It completes your happiness. I think Love is all about looking past the flaws, figuring out the reason why you could see beauty in the flaws, and the start of inspiration of life. Have you noticed, Cat, that inspirations comes from people you love?" Cat shuffled through the blanket and thought for a moment of her response to Jade.
"Yes...But Jadey, I know they had differences in their arguments but why did they kiss after?"
"Because they've forgiven each other from what has hurt themselves. They kissed cause they loved each other, Cat."
"What does love feel like?"
"I'm not sure...yet. I don't know...Maybe I'm feeling it without even knowing it..." Jade whispered so Cat couldn't hear Jade's theory.
"What was that?"
"Nothing. I said I'm not sure yet." Jade said quickly.
"I think I do!" Jade raised an eyebrow.
"What makes you think you have, Cat? Don't be too naive about it..."
"Well, you inspired me to be myself, Jade! And well we don't kiss but.." Cat blushed as she thought about what would it be like to kiss Jade but she shook away the thought since it has taken her to long to say what she was going to say.
"But we argue. And we get through that all the time. I know how rude you can be to people but I still find it very intriguing enough for me to love!"
"...What are you trying to say here, Miss Valentine?"
"That I love you, silly Jadey!" Jade looked as if she felt a tingle in her stomach.
"Oh. Well...I do...too. But you're not IN love. We don't know that yet at all..."
"Yes, yes. But just saying Jade, I love you through all the troubles caused ever since the start of sixth grade."
"I do as well..."
"I wonder when I'm going to fall in love.." Cat wondered.
"I wonder that too for myself, Cat. Haha...But I try to enjoy what life gives me. You should too, Kitty Cat. Love can be stupid sometimes for all I know and heard."
"..Jade?"
"Yeah?"
"Just going to tell you once again, I love ya and I don't think anybody is going to take your place as Jade. I know we haven't been around each other recently but I just want to assure you in case you ever forget what you have in front of you and get angry."
"Oh. Nice to know again, Cat. You'll always have a spot here with me. Hope you know that."
"You didn't say you love me."
"Whyyyyyy?" Jade groaned.
"Because I said it!" Jade focused on Cat's eyes.
"I love you also, Kitty Cat...Now can we move on and cook some food? Freaking starving here."
"Kaykay! I'll cook but you have to help!"
Jade rolled her eyes and followed Cat to the kitchen where they shared laughs and bliss. Almighty power of what love could bring together. It doesn't matter what label that are placed upon people; a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a companion, etc. Love is the one thing that keeps the cycle going through in life and it shouldn't be expressed by just a label. You feel love; you don't label love onto individuals.
You hid there last time, you know we're gonna find you.
Sick in the car seat, cause you're not up to going.
Out on the main streets, completing your mission.
"Here comes another 5 pounds..."
Cat finished another last bite on her fourth mini ice cream bucket to drain away the sorrow as she lay on the couch, watching Holly and Paul kissing for their heart's content. She groaned as she set the last bucket on the table and slouched on the arm rest of the couch. Thoughts start to encircle her mind as the movie scene goes on. She thought for once in her life, she wouldn't think about Jade and let despair visit her tonight. She feels as if everything in her life is set up to be only about Jade. She turned to her side that faced the television and watched as Paul and Holly were drenched by the rain. She gets a hold of her blanket and closes her eyes, imagining Jade was the covers she would always sleep with every night.
Jade's mother looked through out the house to find her cell phone. Five minutes later, she found it under her bed and she sat on the corner of her bed. She rubbed the buttons of her cell, anxious enough if she should call this person. Before closing her door, she checked if her daughter came back home. Still alone, she thought. She closed her bedroom door, locked it, and sat on her bed again. She rummages through her laptop classified information on what she plans to do for the future. She looks at her phone again, grasping it hard as she could feel the angst to do this. She picks it up then dials random digits that were familiar to her. She gazes at her laptop right after she sent an email of news she's discovered lately and thought this opportunity would be huge for someone she knew while she was calling. The line picked up and the person's voice sounded raspy, "Hulllo?"
"Hi Peter. It's Linda. It's been a long time since we talked and despite what happened before, I need to ask you a favor...This would mean a lot to this child if you listen.."
"...Fine. I'll listen despite about before. Fucking convince me, Linda, and I'll see how this goes."
"Okay...So..."
I eat a lot when I'm depressed. See what I did there with the ice cream and Cat. -_- But nowadays, I'm over that cycle!