Chapter 10 - In which Lockdown sees an opportunity for business
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"Congratulations on your engagement, Starscream," chuckled Lockdown.
Starscream peered at him curiously. "How did you…Who told you? How do you know? And how did you even get on this frequency?" gaped the flier, pointing accusingly at the flickering transmission screen. Lockdown gave him an offhand smirk.
"Let's just say it's my business to know. Oh, and thanks for the wedding invitation. I'll make sure to be there," winked the bounty hunter. Starscream opened his mouth with an indignant frown.
"Wedding invitation!?" he squeaked incredulously.
"I think Blitzwing must have written them, judging by the appalling handwriting," Lockdown mused, more to himself than in answer to Starscream. "He didn't get my name either - just wrote 'dear bounty hunter with the funny face and spikes'. Terribly rude, but I'm not expecting much from a Decepticon wedding here." Starscream buried his face in his hands. He knew he should have stuck around the Decepticon base last night instead of leaving these things to those morons back on earth.
"So anyway, let's talk business," said Lockdown pleasantly, "I can get you anything you need for the wedding, at a price, of course. Wax for you and the groom, energon treats for the guests, decorations, security…maybe something 'special' for your honeymoon…"
"I don't even want a ceremony!" wailed Starscream, wringing his hands. "I just figured Megatron would get an official to come along and that would be that!"
"Oh, but Starscream, it's your big day! You want it to be special, don't you? Speaking of which, have you thought about your hen night? I can get you some good high-grade to smash you up for that," Lockdown coaxed. Starscream groaned.
"Fine, fine! I'll talk about it with Megatron," growled the seeker, "now slag off."
"Excellent!" Lockdown grinned crookedly. "I'm sure I can work out a real bargain for you guys." And with that, he signed off. Starscream cursed to himself and began to type in the codes to access the Decepticon base. A few moments later Blitzwing's calm, blue face was shown on screen, looking slightly bewildered at his work being replaced with the displeased face of Starscream.
"Blitzwing! Wedding invitations! What!" snapped the seeker irritably, optics flaring.
"Oh, hallo Starscream. I vas sending out ze invitations for Megatron. Do not vorry, I vas going to send you ze list of people I invited afterwards in case you vanted to invite any more friends und family," he explained.
Starscream twitched. "List of people? Who have you invited?!"
"Vell, so far, ve have you and ze groom, of course…Blackarachnia, myselves and Lugnut…Shockwave, Soundwave, Swindle, Lockdown," he counted on his fingers thoughtfully, "and zen ve have Astrotrain and Octane possibly, Mixmaster and Scrapper said zey'd come for ze booze, Oil slick, ja and Professor Sumdac, and I invited ze Autobots, their pet fleshy, oh! Maybe ve should invite Wreck-gar!"
"Autobots? Autobots!?" squeaked Starscream, jaw dropping even further. "What the pit got into your screwy little processor?! And don't even think about inviting Wreck-gar, he'll stink up the entire base! Oh holy Primus, Blitzwing, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
"Vat's wrong vith you?" said Blitzwing defensively, looking hurt. "If I didn't do the invitations, nobody vould!"
"Fine, fine! Just don't invite anyone else! That's more than enough!" Starscream sighed in defeat, throwing his arms up in the air. "Now get me Megatron!" At this, Blitzwing let out an offended huff of air from his intakes and scuttled away, mumbling something along the lines of 'coulda said please' as he went. Starscream waited a long while, faintly hearing arguing in the background between Lugnut and Blitzwing, then between Blackarachnia and Lugnut, before Megatron finally sauntered into view looking particularly malicious.
"I hope you haven't had a change of spark, Starscream," he said in a low tone. "Blitzwing has already sent out the invitations - I will not be humiliated by you now."
"No no, it's not that," Starscream waved him off irritably, "I want to know what the frag is going on! Why do we have to have guests? I don't want some big fancy ceremony! And then Lockdown was trying to sell me all sorts of nonsense! And what even is a 'hen night'? It's all going too fast! And did you know that Blitzwing invited the Autobots?!"
"Look, just calm dow - AUTOBOTS?! Blitzwing! What in the name of the All-Spark were you thinking?!" bellowed Megatron. From off-screen, Blitzwing retorted something, to which Megatron replied "NO IT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER THAT THEY'RE BRINGING PRESENTS!" He slammed his fist down and muttered a threat at Blitzwing that Starscream couldn't catch, but the squeak of terror Blitzwing made in response told him all he needed to know.
"Can't be helped now," growled Megatron, grinding his fangs together bitterly, "anyway. My dear Starscream, I'll personally make sure that no more guests are invited. I was thinking of having Shockwave as the official to join us - he is a good friend, and the only Decepticon with the official status needed. Lugnut informs me that Swindle has offered to check and confiscate weapons from guests. I do not want the proceedings interrupted. Any objections so far?" he purred.
"Well…that's ok," Starscream sighed, calming slightly. "What about Lockdown? And the chicken evening?"
"You mean hen night. Sumdac informs me it is a human custom - very unnecessary," he waved the idea off. "Lockdown will prove useful, however. I will order some high-grade for the guests from him…perhaps some poison for the Autobots…and I am sure you will want to look your most beautiful on the day. Go ahead and choose some wax and polishes from his wares that takes your liking - don't worry about the price. I only plan to do this marriage thing once, after all, and I intend to make it memorable."
Starscream smiled softly at Megatron. "Anything else, my little fiancée?" said the silver and red Decepticon kindly, pleased with the content smile on Starscream's face.
"Yeah…beat Blitzwing up real good for me," Starscream smirked, then closed the line.