Lightning was sitting at her desk, pouring over Fang's documents, looking for some hint of what she should do when there was a firm knock on her door. She sighed and set the papers down, annoyed at the interruption before Fang popped her head in the door.

Lightning stiffened slightly. They hadn't spoken since Fang's MRI the day before and frankly, Lightning had been dreading the moment Fang would come knocking. The whole situation was tearing her in two. She couldn't leave but she couldn't stay... Either option- she was sure- would end in heart ache for Fang. She grimaced slightly and hoped that Fang didn't notice.

Fang bit her lip in apprehension and slowly closed the door behind her until she heard an audible click. "Can we talk about what happened yesterday?"

Lightning stood up from her desk and sucked her teeth, her nerves firing too much to allow her to relax. She circled around the desk and leaned back on it and shook her head slightly. "Nothing happened, Fang."

Fang pursed her lips at the response and let out a slightly amused huff as if she had been expecting that response. "Funny... I'm pretty sure we almost kissed."

The doctor sighed again and crossed her arms. "You're imagining things." All she wanted was for Fang to drop the subject. Maybe if they could act like nothing had happened, it would give her more time to think about her options. Some psychiatrist you are... She thought to herself.

"Am I? 'Cause, I know I was gonna kiss you... and you sure didn't seem like you were gonna stop me." Fang wasn't inclined to mince words. She knew just as much as Lightning did what had almost happened and it was clear she just wanted Lightning to admit it. She stepped closer to Lightning and the doctor could feel the predatory movements cause a prickle at the back of her neck.

"Fang..." Lightning closed her eyes and shook her head. "Okay... Yeah... You're right. I would have let it happen, but... it was a lapse in judgement."

She opened her eyes again and she was sure she saw Fang wince at the words but she shook it off and again, stepped closer, daring Lightning to stop her. Lightning didn't stop her but held Fang's stare steadily, daring Fang to try it. "I get it, Light. You're scared. You don't know if you can love me... but you have. A million times over. It's not that hard if you'd just let yourself..."

Lightning finally looked away, "it's not that easy..." Her voice came out small.

"Yeah... it is." The voice was directly in her ear and Lightning felt her whole body stiffen, not having noticed how close Fang had gotten. A tingle ran down her body and she hoped that it didn't show. Instead she swallowed and continued to look away. "You just need to try." Fang's voice was soft.

Lightning swallowed, feeling Fang's warm breath near her neck. She felt herself wanting to give in but once again played the passive roll. It felt safer to pretend she didn't want it and simply let Fang take the lead. A way to soften her guilt but still give in.

After a brief moment of silence she felt Fang close in on her, her lips pressing onto her ear lobe. Lightning's skin chilled with goosebumps at the sensation and her heart leapt into her throat. She fought off the urge to moan and yet the smallest strangled noise still managed to leave her lips. Fang traveled with soft kisses along her jaw line, and Lightning tried not to give in too readily as she felt the effects travel through her entire being. She found herself aching in her core and swallowed hard when Fang's lips found her throat, again, leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses along her skin.

She hated to admit it, but she wanted it. She wanted to fight it but she felt powerless to. Fang knew just how to make her crumble. There was a dizzying sensation in her head and there was a brief moment where Lightning thought she might just collapse. Luckily for her, Fang pulled away, giving her nerves a slight rest. Fang watched her and waited, licking her lips in anticipation and Lightning gave in, turning her gaze towards her.

Fang gave the smallest grin and pressed her lips to Lightning's own. All thoughts fled Lightning's mind and she couldn't remember why she had fought so hard against the idea in the first place as her lips moved in sync with Fang's. Fang pressed into her, situating herself between Lightning's legs as Lightning leaned farther back on her desk. She could feel Fang's warm hands trailing up and down her sides before settling on her hips.

The kiss deepened and low moans escaped their open-mouthed kisses. Tongues touched and retreated and touched again with each kiss, over and over again as the two drank each other in. Lightning's head was swimming and she pulled Fang in closer by her scrubs, wanting to feel her body against her own. She arched her back, pressing her chest to Fang's, feeling the heat from Fang's body warm her.

Fang pulled back, breaking the kiss and studied Lightning. Eventually Lightning's eyelids fluttered open, her eyes asking why Fang had stopped when she had finally gotten Lightning where she wanted her. Fang smiled and chuckled. "You okay?"

Lightning furrowed her brow. "Yeah...?" She thought it was evident she was okay when she'd pulled Fang in closer. Lightning went in for another kiss when Fang asked again.

"Hey? You okay?"

"Yes." Lightning said with annoyance, wanting to get back to what they had been doing.

"Sis... You okay?"

"Sis?" Lightning knitted her brows in confusion.

Lightning's eyes fluttered open and Serah was staring down at her, concern evident on her face. Lightning furrowed her brow in confusion. "Serah?"

Serah smiled sheepishly as Lightning pushed herself up onto her elbows, taking in her surroundings. She was at home in her living room, laying on the couch with the TV softly playing nearby. It was late. The only light in the room coming from the ever changing images on the TV.

"You okay? You were having a dream."

Lightning felt herself blush and hoped that the dark room hid the red from her sister. "I was?"

"Yeah..." Serah chuckled slightly. "Can't even listen to your own advice, huh? You're always telling me not to sleep with the TV on..."

Lightning groaned, hoping that she wasn't as transparent as she felt. Of course it was a dream... She yawned and arched her back, trying to ease the ache the couch had caused. "What time is it?"

"Just past midnight..."

Lightning kittened her eyebrows together. She wanted to start analyzing her dream but something wasn't right. "Midnight?"

Serah nodded and sucked her teeth for a second, trying to act innocent.

"...Did you just get in?"

Serah avoided eye contact and crossed her arms. "Maybe."

Lightning felt herself bristle slightly, reminded of Fang's teasing words. "... Were you with Snow?" Serah didn't say anything and Lightning let out a huff. "I told you to stay away from that idiot."

Serah rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "I'm an adult, Light. I can make my own decisions."

"You could at least make good decisions. Snow's a moron."

Serah gave her sister a deadpan stare. It was too late to be arguing with her sister. "Good night, Light..."

Lightning huffed and rolled her eyes back at her sister as she passed and made her way to her room. At the sound of Serah's door clicking closed Lightning sighed and laid back onto the couch. She let the TV continue to play as she pushed the disturbing thought of her sister dating Snow out of her mind, and focused back on her dream.

It had felt so real... and Lightning was surprised to realize that a part of her really wanted it to be. She touched her lips lightly at the memory of her passionate kisses with Fang. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt a deep guilt immediately set in. She'd never been so torn about a patient before. She hated to admit that a part of her had been angry when Mrs. Roth had interrupted them but in retrospect, it was a relief. Sure she had never felt that kind of pull before, but she still didn't think she was capable of love. The interruption didn't solve her problem but it did help delay it.

She had only been Fang's doctor a short while and already she felt it was a mistake. There was no winning. If she rebuffed Fang, she would hurt her. And if she decided to throw caution to the wind, it would probably be even worse. If she found she couldn't love Fang back, all she would have done was lead her on and gave her false hope, only to crush her in the end.

There was a twisting feeling in Lightning's stomach. The thought of Fang standing atop her apartment building flashed before her eyes. She couldn't hurt Fang... not without risking serious consequences, but something had to be done. Her stomach twisted again. She didn't get much sleep that night, even as her eyes would drift shut with exhaustion, her stomach would twist again, reminding her that she needed to make a decision.

Lightning had spent her morning in her office, she had a few early sessions with patients and forced herself to concentrate on them, and ignore her anxiety. She didn't want to cause another incident like she had with David, so she pushed her own problems aside and focused on the moment. It helped for awhile. With her attention distracted from Fang, she finally felt her stomach start to relax, but the moment her morning appointments were over, the feeling returned.

Lightning glanced to the clock on her wall and grimaced. Fang was her next appointment and she knew that she would have to talk about what had almost happened the day before despite everything in her wanting to just pretend like it had never happened. She sighed and tried to distract herself until Fang arrived by studying Fang's MRI scans.

After Fang's MRI the day before, Lightning had taken the scans to one of the senior doctors on staff and asked his opinion. Doctor Hayman had been with the hospital for over thirty years and had seen things even Lightning had a hard time believing. One of the other doctors had told Lightning that a patient once stripped himself naked during an episode and attacked Hayman, biting off part of the man's pinky finger. Lightning was skeptical until one day she'd asked the doctor to sign off on something for her and noted that the pinky finger on his dominant hand was missing from the last knuckle down. Aside from his years of experience, the man had actually started out as a neurologist, before his love of the brain lead him to Psychology. Lightning was sure if anyone could tell her anything, it would be him.

He had held Fang's scans up to the light and hummed and hawed for a short time, all the while stroking at his white beard before he finally spoke. "Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating! Her amygdala is twenty percent bigger than it should be! She must have one hell of a memory!" He pointed to the oversized amygdala and the hippocampus. "You see this connective tissue? I bet she could tell you where she was ten years ago today! Remarkable."

Lightning sucked her teeth for a moment. "I don't think it's... that detailed. She..." Lightning chose her words carefully, not wanting to let anyone else know she actually believed Fang's memories. She knew that if she did, they would think her a quack and she would lose all credibility. "She... claims to have memories from past lives or alternate realities. She says it's like... snippets of time. But there are a lot of them."

Doctor Hayman's bushy eyebrows shot up in amusement at the idea, "What an interesting patient... You know... I've seen scans like this once before. The patient had Hyperthymesia. Amazing thing, hyperthymesia. If you asked him what shoes he wore on his eighth birthday, he could tell you in detail. I would have loved to study him more..." He had handed the scans back to Lightning. "Perhaps it's some form of that... I imagine you add some delusions into a memory that sharp, it could play all kinds of tricks on you." The man knew better than Lightning did about the brain and she thanked him for his time.

Now she sat in her office, staring at the scans, waiting for Fang to arrive. She didn't believe Fang to be delusional- not anymore, anyway. But she wondered if Doctor Hayman had been onto something. Fang certainly had a robust memory. Lightning had to ponder to herself if those with Hyperthymesia could have been susceptible to the same thing as Fang, but for whatever reason they didn't have the same... connection to their other lives so their memories were instead filled with mundane details about their past. Lightning groaned to herself, she was starting to think she would need a theoretical physicist to help explain how it all worked.

There was a knock at her door and Lightning's heart jumped into her throat at the sound. Fang opened the door a second later and bit her lip in slight apprehension before closing the door behind her. "Hey, Light."

Lightning pushed her anxiety down and motioned for Fang to sit. Fang did as she was told and Lightning sucked at her teeth, her stomach in knots once again. "Fang, about... about yesterday... I-" Lightning sighed and felt a sudden panging in her temple. She cringed at the pain but pushed past it. "What happened yesterday... It can't happen again."

Fang frowned, "You would have let me kiss you... wouldn't you?"

Lightning averted her eyes, her brows knitting together in a guilty fashion. The reaction was enough to confirm it for Fang. She'd spent the entire night wondering what would have happened if Mrs. Roth hadn't walked into the room at that moment. Knowing Lightning would have let it happen gave Fang the smallest amount of satisfaction and she let herself smile faintly at the bitter sweetness of it.

"I don't want to hurt you, Fang." Lightning could feel her heart beating in her chest... The fear of hurting Fang finally real as she confronted her problem. "But I can't... I can't be who you want me to be."

Fang winced slightly and shifted slightly in her chair. "You don't have to be anyone but you, Light."

Lightning felt her heart breaking for Fang and rubbed at her throbbing temple. "Fang..." She took a moment to prepare herself and looked away. "...I don't think I can be your doctor."

Fang felt a pang in her chest and let out a pained breath. She took a second to collect herself and tried to catch Lightning's eyes with her own, but Lightning refused to look directly at her. ".. You don't need to be my doctor Light... You know I'm not crazy... I don't even need to be here... but I stayed because I knew it was the easiest way to... to see you."

Lightning wetted her lips and glanced to Fang, shaking her head. "Fang... you do need to be here. You're..." Lightning winced again as her temple throbbed. "You're a danger to yourself... and you need a doctor who can help you move forward... and that doctor isn't me."

Fang cringed at the pain in her chest. She had believed this had all happened for a reason. That Etro had lead her to this moment so she and Lightning could be together. She hadn't expected it to go this way. The thought of losing Lightning so quickly after having found her scared her more than she was willing to admit to the point she could feel the adrenaline all the way in her fingertips. "How can I 'move forward' when I can't stop looking back? I can't not remember, Light... and I won't stop remembering for another sixty years." Fang was pleading with Lightning and Lightning could hear Fang's voice nearly crack.

Intense guilt churned again in Lightning's stomach. "I'm sorry."

"Light... we could do this... We could... You just need to take the risk."

"I don't know how to love, Fang, and I can't risk hurting you even more. This... This will be easier on you in the long run... We need to end it before it starts." Lightning's voice became weak on the last sentence, as if she didn't want to hear it herself.

"Easier on me? There's no easy, Light. The way I see it, there are three options here. One; we end it now, I get hurt. Two; we end it later, I get hurt. Or three; we could be happy. Isn't that worth the risk? Giving up now is the only option that guarantees pain..."

"...I can't lead you on... I'd only make it worse." Lightning tried desperately to avoid Fang's pleading eyes. She knew it wouldn't be easy to tell Fang that nothing could ever come of them, but she didn't realize how much it would make her feel like a coward. "I can't be responsible if you... -" She stopped, biting her lip and shaking her head sadly.

"If I what?... Kill myself?"

Lightning winced at the thought. "You've done it before..."

Fang straightened, a jolt of surprise adrenaline shooting through her chest. She knitted her brows in confusion, her voice audibly shifting. "...How did you know that?"

"You told me." Lightning finally looked up, hearing the shift in Fang's voice from pain to confusion.

"No I didn't," Fang said, studying Lightning's eyes, for what; Lightning wasn't sure.

Lightning shook her head slightly. She could have sworn... "I... I must have read it." She pressed her fingers to her temples for a minute, trying to ward off her persistent headache.

Fang continued to watch her. She was almost certain she had written nothing of her past bouts with suicide. There were a few she remembered, however hazily. Times where she'd been so down and out that it was the only option. She had contemplated writing them down, but she didn't want Vanille to come across anything like that and worry about her. Besides, there were some things Fang was okay with not including for her records. She didn't need to remember those moments when she would finally succumb to Alzheimer's. She was almost certain that Lightning shouldn't know about any of it either. How could she?

Lightning looked up, seeing Fang's eyes on her intently and stopped rubbing her temples, instead looking at Fang with a confused stare of her own. She could feel the change in Fang's mood as the woman's focus pulled away from their current conversation to something else. She was looking for something. "What is it?"

Fang leaned in closer, studying Lightning's eye like they held some great secret. Lightning breathed in and caught the scent of wildflowers from Fang. Her temples ached again and Lightning suddenly the world around Lightning turned to white.

Fang watched in worry as Lightning seemed to freeze in place, and her pupils contracted to pin points. He body sat rigid and unmoving, unresponsive to her surroundings. "Lightning?"

"Lightning?" Lightning's vision was filled with a blinding light. She cringed at the pain and moved her gaze to the side, realizing she had been staring at the sun. What... Where...? Lightning couldn't speak, but the thoughts passed through her mind as her body fought against her, it moved on it's own and she heard her own voice speak as if her body was another person, and she were merely trapped inside looking out.

"Yeah?" She was in a field. An incredibly green field, filled with wild flowers. Wildflowers that smelled of Fang. Somewhere on Gran Pulse. Laying in the grass, looking up at Coccoon and the sun that sat just around it's edge. What's going on...? Why can't I speak? Lightning fought to speak, to move and found only resistance. Frustration passed over her, like trying to run in a dream and going no where. Is this another dream?

Her body turned on it's side without her prompting, setting her head on her palm. Fang? Fang was lying beside her in the grass, watching her with intense and loving eyes, a bemused smile on her lips. "I told you not to stare at it..." Stare at what? The sun? Lightning asked internally. How did I get here... Where are we?

"You're not the boss of me." She heard her own voice say and Fang grinned more at her.

"If you went blind, how would you ever enjoy my face again? I can't let that happen." Fang joked. Fang, what's going on? Lightning tried desperately to ask, trapped silently in her body.

She felt her hand reach out and cup Fang's face softly. Her thumb traced along the soft skin before she felt her body press into Fang's own, her lips firmly pressing against Fang's. She could taste Fang in her mouth, feel her fingers slipping into her hair as she pulled her face closer, deepening the kiss. Lightning stayed silent in her head, watching the scene unfold in confusion. She felt everything vividly, but had no control over what happened and so, simply let it happen. The kiss lasted a long time, soft, gentle, not at all what she thought it should feel like, somehow better. The scene started to lighten again into a blinding white light until once again, she could no longer see.

"Light, hey... Hey, come on now." Lightning felt a hand on her cheek, lightly tapping against her skin. She clenched her eyes closed tightly and cringed. She heard Fang breath a sigh of relief and felt Fang press her fore head to her own briefly before realizing what she was doing and pulling away. "You okay, Light?"

Lightning opened her eyes, glancing around the room, aware that she was once again fully in control of her body and back in her office. "I'm back?"

"Where did you go just now? You just... completely zoned out..." Fang still held Lightning's face in her hands, lightly stroking the skin as if to make sure she was okay.

"I... Uh..." Lightning knitted her eyebrows together, meeting Fang's gaze. She placed her hands over Fang's, and slowly guided them away from her cheeks. Fang bit her lip and withdrew back into her chair, knowing she had overstepped her bounds.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just um..." Lightning let herself breath through her mouth, feeling she needed the air. She was at a loss of words for what had just happened. It was as if she had stepped out of time for a brief moment. She couldn't explain it, and if she were to be honest with herself, it scared her. She blinked her eyes a few times and shook her head, pushing the fear away and putting up a defense in it's place. "I didn't get much sleep last night, just... feeling the effects of it now." She rubbed at her temples again, feeling them throbbing with pain. She sucked her lips and swallowed, regaining her composure. "I'm fine. Really."

Fang eyed her suspiciously. She knew Lightning well enough to know that was a lie. There was something going on that she wasn't telling her. Fang could feel it. She trained all her attention on Lightning's eyes, waiting for one of Lightning's small tells. Their earlier conversation pushed to the side, Fang content with ignoring the painful dialogue for the time being. "Are you sure?"

"It's okay, Fang. Really." Lightning tried to reassure her. She knew she needed to continue their conversation but her mind couldn't concentrate. It felt fuzzy and drunk from the strange phenomena that had just happened. She tried to remember where they had left off but her temples throbbed again and she felt dizzy. "Um, I'm going to have some tea... Would you like one?" She pushed up from her chair making her way to the small counter in the corner of her office where she had a small coffee/tea maker set up. She told herself that it was the strange dream and the lack of sleep playing with her head, that the tea would help wake her up, make her feel better.

"Uh... Yeah, sure." Fang watched Lightning from her seat. Lightning wasn't all there anymore, her mood had changed drastically the moment her pupils contracted... Fang curiously analyzed her, needing to know what had happened that managed to derail Lightning. She watched as Lightning filled two mugs with tea, and went about preparing them. She knitted her eyebrows as she watched Lightning pour one packet of sugar into one, and three into the other with a single cream.

Lightning was trying desperately to calm her nerves. She wasn't sure what had happened but it scared her. She could feel herself shake lightly as she emptied three packets of sugar into Fang's tea. Maybe she was dreaming again... How else could she explain what had happened. Lightning stopped herself as she poured the last of the cream into the second mug. What am I doing? She placed her hand to her temples again. "Um... How do you like your tea?" She placed both hands on the counter trying to catch her breath.

"...Exactly like that." Fang said from just behind Lightning, causing her to jump slightly. She hadn't noticed that Fang had gotten up when she had caught what Lightning was absent mindedly doing.

Lightning turned to Fang, a fear and confusion clear in her eyes. Fang scanned her closely again, watching her eyes, ducking her head slightly to keep eye contact as Lightning tried to discretely look away. Lightning didn't know what was happening, and instinctively tried to hide it.

"You're... remembering... aren't you?" Fang asked, watching as Lightning flinched slightly at the question.

"I... I don't... " Lightning didn't finish her sentence but looked up to meet Fang's intense stare.

"Come on, Lightning. You don't want to miss this!"

"The meteor shower isn't going anywhere, Fang. Slow down."

Lightning stood silently. Hearing her and Fang's voices run through her head as if someone had pressed play on a recording. Her hands trembled and she backed into the counter, nearly knocking over the mugs of tea. Her eyes stayed on Fang's own green ones.

"I dreamt about this, you know?"

"About this? Why?"

"What do you mean 'why?' Because I love you." A laugh.

"Lightning?"

"Bahamut."

"You... You named a wolf?" A silence.

"Light...?"

"Hey, you're going to be okay, Fang..."

"Don't lie, Light..."

"You will..." A choking sob.

"Hey... Come on..."

Lightning took a sharp breath in when Fang's hands once again cupped her cheeks and felt her heart rate pick up to an incredible speed. She breathed hard feeling as if she had just run a marathon as her attention snapped back to the moment. She met Fang's concerned eyes and like an all consuming wave, was drowning in them. Emotions boiled to the surface and erupted in a fury in her mind. She had always felt a compassion for Fang but now... She stood looking at Fang, and for the first time, she really saw Fang. Fang for all she is and all she ever was. Everything was there in her eyes, and it pushed and pulled at Lightning. An undying love for her was present that hadn't been there before, and it was... Familiar. It all felt familiar. It was like going home. She knew this woman, inside and out, and she loved her.

Lightning felt tears welling up in her eyes and Fang pulled her close to her chest, cradling Lightning's face in her neck. "It's okay... You're okay." Fang stroked her hair softly as she held her tight to her chest, and Lightning couldn't help but to fist her hands into Fang's patient scrubs, letting herself be held, letting the familiar feelings wash over her like a song once forgotten and heard again. She felt the tears spill over and didn't try to stop them. This was Fang... This was her Fang.

She pushed back from Fang, needing to see her eyes again, needing to drown. Fang let her.

Lightning tentatively touched Fang's face, slowly, testing. Needing to know that this was real, this was happening and it wasn't just in her head. She could see it in the way Fang looked at her, Fang knew what was happening, just as much as she did. She was remembering. She was remembering it all. Every life they had lived together, every moment they had fallen in love, every death that separated them again. It was all there, hanging in the air between them. All crashing back to her in a moment. Lifetimes of memories overwhelming her, and flashing through her mind as she looked into Fang.

Lightning felt the sudden need to really feel Fang. To once again feel that familiar closeness that she knew and remembered but had yet to experience. She took a moment longer to look into Fang's eyes, to drink her in. She knew her now. She knew her intimately. She ran her hands up the sides of Fang's neck, coming to hold her face just behind her ears; it was comfortable, familiar. She pulled her down, pressing their lips together and searing the moment into another vivid memory. A kiss practiced a thousand times, and yet experienced for the first.

AN: I'm pretty sure this was the moment we've all been waiting for :P With a few changes from the original, but yay! We're all caught up with the short story now and can get on to new things in this story! Hope you guys liked that :D