"Fuck you."
"Ey, Fuck you too. Yeah, go do your make-believe someplace else. I don't have the patience for it anymore."
The words ring in Nicky's head as she walks back to her cube. She's ruined enough today without fucking up her friendship with Lorna.
It's half an hour before count, and Nicky can't just sit in her bunk feeling guilty. She's still sane enough to know that sulking isn't going to help her feel any better about the shit that's happened today. She has talked to Red, and now she needs to talk to Lorna. To apologize to Lorna.
Nicky realized earlier today when she was talking to Morello, that there is truly something off about the brunette's relationship with Christopher. That's why she suggested that he isn't real: to spite Lorna. She realized too late by the look on Lorna's face that she had hit too close to home. That that is too close to the truth. She'd been angry so she'd just let it go, but thinking about it now, Nicky feels terrible.
Alex was right. Maybe Morello has some shit that she's dealing with too, and maybe Nicky doesn't even know the half of it.
But Nicky's in a shitty mood, and she wants to take out her aggression on Lorna. She wants to yell about how Lorna broke her heart by choosing a pretend fiancé over Nicky, a real person bursting with love for the petite brunette.
But she doesn't. She pauses and leans up against the wall outside the suburbs and closes her eyes for a moment.
Suddenly she is being wrapped into a hug and someone is threading their arms tightly around her waist. Nicky opens her eyes to find Morello staring up at her, eyes glassy.
"Nick, are you okay?"
Nicky reciprocates the hug and rests her head on top of Lorna's. "I'm so sorry. For everything I said. I was—I was the one who told Pornstache about the produce guy. It's all my fault. That's why I was being bitchy, and now she's dead and it's all my fault, Lorna. And I fucked up things with you again. God, I'm sorry."
"Nichols, stop. We all got issues. We all fuck up, okay? And you didn't ruin things with me, alright." Lorna breaks the hug and takes Nicky' hands in her own. "Look, I know what I said earlier, but this—us…I'm not saying never, okay?" Lorna's brain is a war zone lately. Part of her know that Christopher isn't hers, but a stronger part is arguing that he is. She can't commit to anything right now, and she knows how much she is hurting Nicky. "I got issues, Nicky. I don't know anything that's goin' on."
Nicky nods. She understands that this is all Lorna can give her right now. She takes the brunette's face in her hands, and gives her a sweet, innocent kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Morello," she says, and walks down the dorm to her bunk.
"Goodnight, Nichols," whispers Lorna.