EPISODE TEN: SEASICK (Part 1)

Jack II yawned and stretched as he crawled out of bed and got to planting his crops. The weather had been perfect for his line of work this season and each and every day as he looked upon his gloriously enriched garden, it prompted him to go out and buy some more seeds to plant the following day.

"Beautiful, just gorgeous! I'm gonna be rich by the end of the season!" he smiled to himself, too wrapped up in his own pride to notice that his girlfriend, Karen, had come to visit him at the farm and was standing behind him at that very instant.

"Jack, your sister refuses to come back to your farm," she complained, surprising her boyfriend.

"Huh? Where is she?"

"I took her to the beach this morning so you would have time to work on your garden, remember? You did take advantage of the time, didn't you?" Karen folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, I… of course I did, sweetie!" Jack II lied through his nervous smile.

"Well come on, you need to help me drag her home. She's gonna drown herself if she swims out any further into the water," Karen was obviously way more concerned than Jack II cared to be. Grabbing him by the arm and pulling ruthlessly in her desired direction (as she always seemed to do), she dragged him away from his marvelous crops and down the long paths leading to the town beach.

The two arrived a few short minutes later and sure enough, Jill was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, no! Jack, jump in and save her! She must have gone under!" Karen panicked.

Out from the sandy mound beside them, Jill popped up and screamed, "Boo!"

"Aahhhhh!!!!!!!" Karen screamed and held on to Jack II for safey.

"Ahahahahahahaa! Karen was scared, I scared Karen!" Jill sang happily.

"Oh, you awful girl!" Karen was evidently very mad at this. "Jack, aren't you going to punish her or something?"

"Yeah… 'cause that'll smarten her up," Jack II was too sarcastic for Karen's taste.

"I've had about enough of your sarcastic tone, I…" she stopped mid-sentence and immediately something in the water out in the distance caught her attention. "Wha…what is that?"

Jack II peered out into the open waters and realized that something was heading at a very fast speed towards them, gliding through the waves in a way that could be called anything but graceful.

Jill hopped up and down frantically, "It's a shark! Lemme kill it!"

"Jill, stay back!" Karen held the crazy girl in place.

The object could now be clearly seen, it was a dolphin with something on its back, and it looked like it was afraid for its life.

"Is that a…?" Karen looked closer.

The dolphin whizzed up to shore and the object on its back went flying onto the dry sands just a few short feet away from Jack II and company, and they could now see that the object was indeed a balding old man wearing a very wet pair of trousers and a seemingly old baseball cap.

"Oh, no!" Jack II stood in horror, one of his worst nightmares had finally come true.

"What is it, Jack?!" Karen pressed herself closer to his body.

Jack II couldn't believe it himself as he spoke the words, "G…grandpa?"

Intermission

The trio walked to wear the old man lay in the sand, desperately trying to brush himself free of the uncomfortable sand that had stuck itself to his wet clothing.

"Grandpa?" Jack II swallowed hard.

"Where?" Jack the first looked around in all directions, that old man owes me money for my last 50 some-odd birthdays!

Jill remained in the sand a few yards back, obviously disinterested in the unfolding events as she once again began to bury herself in the sand.

"How can that be? You're dead!" Karen was shocked, but she knew the old man very well to be none other than the famous farmer Jack the first.

"Me?" Jack I looked confused. Bending lower wearily looking around himself, he whispered to her, "Am I in heaven?"

"Of course not!" Jack II yelled out, enraged by the old man's stupidity.

"No fair!" Jack I crossed his arms and spit on the ground. "What did I ever do to get in to the bad place?"

"You're not dead, you imbecile!" Jack II was extremely angered.

"Are you dead?" Jack I whispered to him eerily.

"No! You're back in Mineral Town, you dufus!" Jack II grabbed Karen by HER arm and pulled her back in the direction of the farm, annoyed as he'd ever been.

Jack the first wandered after them, not remembering what Mineral Town was at all, for it had only come to be known as that in the last few years and ofcourse…he never bothered to read the paper.

"Come find me!" Jill hollered to a vacant beach from underneath a pile of sand.

"Jack, what are you going to do?" Karen asked as they all sat at the kitchen table.

"About what?" Jack I asked.

"She meant ME!" Jack II corrected.

"You're Jack too!?" Jack I was surprised.

"Yes, unfortunately, I was named after you!"

Jack I looked at him oddly before leaning close and asking, "Does this mean we're brothers?"

"What? No, hell no!" Jack II slammed his fist on the table.

"Mr. Jack, don't you remember me?" Karen asked the old man shyly.

Jack I peered closely at her for a second and then his whole face lit up, "EVE! I've finally found you!"

It was at this point that he pounced on her and kissed her deeply, repulsing both the young girl and her boyfriend who threw the old man off with a shudder of disgust.

"EW! Oh my god!" Karen spat repeatedly.

"That's what Eve used to say when I did that, now I know it's you!" Jack I rejoiced.

"Rrrgh! She isn't Eve! Eve left you! Can't you understand that?" Jack II could barely contain himself.

"I know! We were playing hide and go seek! My turn!" Jack I quickly rose from the chair and ran for the door. It was then that he accidentally tripped over Ruff 2 who had been sleeping peacefully beneath his feet, hit his head on the table and collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

"Oh, no! Is he alright?" Karen rushed to the sleeping man's aid.

"Who knows, we gotta get him out of here, now!" Jack II cried in frustration.

"But why? He lives here!"

"Exactly! If the rest of the town finds out he's still alive, the farm will no longer be my property!" Jack II had thought matters through very thoroughly.

"Gosh, you're right! What can we do?"

"I don't know, but I thought Jill was tough to get rid of… this is going to be even harder!"

While Karen went back to the beach to get the forgotten idiot, Jill, Jack II went to town to ask the mayor a few questions to see if there was any way he could weasel his grandfather out of the property.

"Where am I?" Jack I woke up with a headache in Jill's bed. He studied his surroundings carefully before coming to the conclusion that he indeed had somehow died in his journeys. The house was exactly how he had left it, and Ruff 2 (who looked exactly like Ruff 1) was somehow alive and well. "I've entered the afterlife!"

Jack I walked out of the house to see if any of his old friends were around yet. It was a shame that Eve had disappeared again, that woman loves to play hide and go seek, he thought. Analyzing the fields, he decided that everything was not how he had left it, and in order to make things right, he stomped on all the crops that were unrightfully growing in his gardens. In other words, all of them.

After he finished that, he took a walk through the town. The first person he came in contact with was Jill, who had been running away from Karen.

"Hi, what are you doing?" Jill asked.

"Playing hide and go seek," Jack I tried to ignore her and find Eve.

"Me too! Wanna hide together?" Jill jumped up and down.

"I can't, I'm 'IT'" Jack I tagged her arm. "Caught you!"

"No fair!" Jill pouted.

"Now you have to help me find Eve," her grandfather explained.

"'Kay!" Jill lead him through the street paths and the pair searched for the long lost relative.

Intermission

"Karen, bad news. There seems to be no way out of this, as long as he's still living, everything belongs to him," Jack II met with her in town square.

"The we have a big problem, I went back to the house to see if Jill was there and your grandfather was gone!"

"Damnit!" Jack II cursed.

"Oh, Jack, what are we going to do?" Karen whined.

"I don't know…wait, he thinks you're Eve, right?

Karen nodded, instantly recognizing that they had the upper hand, "If I call to him, he'll come to me!"

"Right, you need to run around town really fast to try and get him."

"Then what will you do?"

"I'll go check the mountainpass, and any other place where people won't be. It's important that you make people think you're looking for me,"

"That'll be easy, you have the same name."

"Quit reminding me, I'll see you in a bit." Jack II ran off, leaving Karen to run the streets alone.

"Jaaaaack! It's me, Eve!" she called out, but there was no answer. "This is hopeless, they could be anywhere by now."

"Karen?" it was Elli. "Was that you I heard shouting?"

"Uhm, yeah… I'm just looking for Jack."

"Oh… can I help?"

"No!" Karen cried desperately, a little too obvious that something awry was going on. Elli was scared by this, but Karen recomposed herself quickly, "I mean… uh, we're playing hide and go seek with Jill. You know, she's a little… immature for her age,"

"Oh, right. Well what if I played too?"

"I, er… well that wouldn't be fair, why don't you go hide too?" Karen suggested uneasily.

"Hmm, well it does seem a little childish, but hiding was always my favorite part. I'll go see if my boyfriend (the doctor) wants to join!" Elli was off before Eve could stop her.

"Oh, dear," Karen sighed as she continued to walk the streets calling after Jack.

A few yards away, Jack and Jill continued their search for Eve.

"I think I hear her calling me," Jack I listened intently.

"Nope, that's Karen," Jill knew the voice well. "I have to get away from her, so you keep on searching while I run the other way and look for her somewhere else!" Jill ran off.

"Excuse me," Jack said to the old woman who had been passing by, minding her own business.

The woman turned and faced him, shock ran through her veins, "J…Jack?"

"Yep, that's me. Are you Karen?"

"Am… am I what?" the old woman with puffy hair asked in disbelief.

"Not 'what', Karen," Jack I corrected her.

"Um, no. Who's Karen?"

"I don't know..." Jack I admitted.

"D…do you mean that nice young girl that used to be good friends with Rick?" the old woman suggested.

"No, definitely not. I'm talking about the person who's chasing the little girl I was with,"

"What little girl?" this woman was confused.

"The one I was playing games with," Jack I smiled.

"What kind of games?"

"FUN games!" Jack's face lit up. "It was really weird, I woke up in her bed and didn't even know who she was yet!"

"Y…you were in a little girl's bed!?" the woman was disgusted at this revelation.

"Yeah, but I live there now, so we're gonna have lots of time to spend together playing games!" Jack I was overly excited.

"Oh, my! Just how young is this girl?"

"I dunno, neither does she," Jack I didn't see how this was relevant to where Eve was hiding and became annoyed.

"Jack! You are despicable! That poor child, how could you… oh, you're just the same as you always were!" The fretting woman walked quickly away from him.

"She's a mean old lady," Jack continued on his quest.

Intermission

Karen looked behind a bunch of barrels and was surprised to see Maria hiding.

"Maria? What are you doing there?"

"Oh, you found me!" Maria stood up.

"What are you hiding from?"

"You, silly! Elli told the doctor about the game you were playing, Basil overheard and decided to play too. I ran into him when he was on his way to hide, and then he told me and I decided to play, and I guess Elli and the doctor told some people too because when I was looking for a hiding spot, most of the good spots were taken by other people," Maria explained in one long breath.

"Oh, no!" Karen felt a headache coming on. Just then, she spotted Jill across the street. "Jill!" she yelled.

Seeing that she had been spotted, Jill ran away and Karen was quick to follow. The chase went on for a couple of minutes until they came across town square and Jill stopped running at the sight of a big crowd of townspeople gathered around in bunches.

"Alright, who is yet to be found?" the mayor asked the roaming crowds.

"Just Jack!" Greg the fisherman hollered above the other voices.

"Oh, no!" Karen said under her breath.

"Hah! Caught you!" Jack II grabbed his grandfather by the collar.

"I'm it! I caught you!" Jack I wiped his hand away.

"I'm not playing your stupid games, old man!" Jack II yelled at him. As this debate was about to heat up, the two easily ignored the coming crowd of townspeople who walked in unison yelling the name "Jack,"

"You're just a sore loser!" Jack I tagged him angrily.

"Shut up, you! Let's go back home and figure out what we're going to do with you!"

"No, you help me find Eve now!"

The crowd could now see the two arguing family members from a distance now, and were closing in on them without their noticing as they continued their argument.

"There he is!" Someone yelled.

"Who's that with him?!"

"Jack! Jack! Jack!" the crowd yelled.

"She's gone for good, you old bum!" Jack II accused harshly.

"I may not be good at hide and go seek, but she's out there somewhere!" Jack I stood defiantly.

"Jack! JACK! JJAACCKK!" the people called to him.

"WHAT!?!?!?!" the two angry Jacks turned and yelled to an annoying crowd.

The people all stopped and stared as they realized who the older man next to Jack II was.

"Oh, crap…" Jack II stood frozen in place.

TO BE CONTINUED!

(Wow, my first to be continued episode. And for good cause, being the return of our old friend. I hope the whole sex jokes didn't go over any of the younger readers heads, and I also hope no one was offended. I'd like to take this time to thank my faithful reviewers, your continued support is helping out very nicely to gain new fans! Talk to you next time in the conclusion to this special 2-part event!)