What Are We Doing?
We are half way through our time here. We've been here for a week and a half. The drama from the party calmed down. Erika still wasn't talking to Jose, but he was still trying like hell.
I was hanging out with Veronica, waiting for Erika to wake up. We were talking about everything that has happened. We were reminiscing about the past, but we were also talking about the future.
"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" I jumped so high when I heard a scream from up stairs. Veronica and I made our way quickly upstairs, to the room that Erika was staying in.
"What happened?" I yelled once we got into the room, but I didn't need that answer. Erika's whole room was covered in yellow daisies. I couldn't help but laugh because this had Jose written all over it.
"What the hell are you laughing about? This isn't funny." whined Erika.
"I'm sorry honey, but it is funny." said Veronica while she tried to keep a straight face.
"Where did these come from?" Erika asked.
"Come on, you have to know who did this." I said.
She just continued to look at me confused, I picked up a note that was attached to one of the flowers and handed it to her.
"How the hell did he get in here?" she asked once she was finished reading it.
"Knowing Jose, I'd say the window." I said gesturing towards her open window.
"Why would he do this?" she asked in a softer voice.
"Erika, you know why he did this, and if you don't then you're an idiot." said Veronica.
"Ya very nice to call a pregnant woman and idiot." Erika replied.
"Cut it out girls. Erika he did this because that boy is a 100% in love with you." I said trying to get her to believe me.
"No he isn't." she argued.
"He's told you he loved you, why wont you believe him?" asked Veronica.
"Because I can't handle if he leaves again. I don't want to be hurt." she mumbled.
"Erika, I'm going to say the same thing that you told me. You're never going to find love if you keep yourself bottled up. Jose made a mistake, but he's trying to make up for it." I said.
"Are you saying I should give him another chance?" she asked.
"I'm not telling you anything. It's up to you." I said.
"I think I'm going to try. Nothing too fast, maybe we can start was friend's first." she simply stated.
"That sounds perfect Erika." said Veronica softly.
"What was with James last night?" asked Erika.
"I know. What was he even doing here?" asked Veronica.
"Who knows? Maybe he was bored." I said trying to sound indifferent, but I don't really think I succeeded.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" asked Veronica softly.
"Nothing, just thinking." I sighed hoping they would drop it.
"Bella, we know that tone. When you use that tone we know that your thoughts aren't exactly happy." argued Veronica.
"I guess I'm just think about that night." I said
"You promised you wouldn't think about it. You know that it gets you depressed every time you think about it." said Erika.
"I know just seeing James after all this time, is bringing back some old feelings." I said softly.
"Bella you're not going to do something stupid right?" Veronica asked.
"Why is it that every time I think about that night, you automatically assume I'm going to do something stupid?" I asked.
"Think back Bella. What were you thinking about right before you did something stupid?" asked Erika.
I just stayed quiet, because they had a point. That night broke me, it broke me beyond repair. I'm able to hide it now, but it's always going to be there.
"B, were not saying this to hurt you, or bring up unwanted memories. Where just worried about you." she sighed.
"You have nothing to worry about." I simply stated.
"If we have nothing to worry about, what was with the 'were broken speech'?" asked Erika.
"It's true and you know it. Were all fucked up, either something happened to us or we did something stupid." I argued back.
"We know that Bella, but we thought you were on the mend. I mean you look so happy with Edward." Veronica said.
"That's because with Edward is the only time I don't think about it. With Edward I don't have to worry but with out him I'm useless." I said.
"Don't say that. You're not useless, being with a guy doesn't make you something, you make you something." Veronica snapped.
"Your right. I guess all the drama last night is just messing with my emotions."
I had just left Veronica and Erika, and I was just walking through the door. I said a quiet hello to everyone, and quickly headed off to my room for some alone time. My alone time didn't last very long because Edward came in to talk to me.
"You left early this morning." he said.
"Ya, I was with some friends." I said. I was taking out my frustration on Edward, I knew it wasn't fair, but that conversation at Veronica's really fucked with my emotions.
"Oh." He said.
"What are you thinking about?" I asked trying to be nice I really didn't want to be mean to Edward, but I couldn't help it. I was in one of those moods.
"I'm trying to decide if I believe you or not." he stated. Well lets just say that woke me up out of my mood.
"What are you talking about? I've never lied t you, so why wouldn't you believe me?" I asked slightly angry.
"But you did lie to me. You lied to me about all of this." He said.
"Edward you said you forgave me, but I'm starting to think you haven't. If you really forgave me then you wouldn't use it against me in every fight we have." I all but yelled.
"I forgave you Bella, but that doesn't stop me from thinking 'what else has she lied to me about'?" said Edward.
That one really hurt me never wanted Edward to feel like he couldn't trust me. This was all my fault, I'm the reason for those feelings, and there's nothing I can do about it.
"I haven't lied to you about anything else, and if you don't know that then maybe we don't know each other as well as I thought we did." I said sadly.
"No Bella, you know ME, I don't know you, that's the problem." he yelled.
"If you don't know me then what the hell are we doing?" I asked.
"I don't know. I need time to think, time alone. I think that would be best for us right now." he said.
"How are going to have time alone were staying in the same room." I asked.
"I'll put my stuff in the other room." he said while getting up.
"Edward, we've always worked our problems out why can't we do that now?" I asked.
"I need time away from you, because if I stay around you I'm going to say something I'll regret." He said slightly strained.
"Just say it Edward, keeping it bottled up wont help anything." I yelled.
"Ok fine. Your friends are irresponsible; hanging out with them is changing you. Ever since we got here, you have become more distant, you hardly talk to me anymore, and you know what I am starting to wonder, maybe you're too broken for me to fix. I'm starting to think that I can't help you. Maybe you do belong here, but the problem is that I don't belong here." he said
I was at a loss for words, but I was aware of this small pain in my chest starting to get larger.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean t say it that harsh. Let's take some time to ourselves and then talk when we've calm down." he said while slowly walking to the door. I didn't stop him. I couldn't, I was frozen.
Edward's Point of View
Idiot. That all that was going through my head as I left the room. I snapped at Bella, I was frustrated and I took it out on her. It's not her fault she's being distant, she's hurting and when she needed me I left her to deal with it on her own. My thoughts while leaving that room were 'what did I just do'. I have to fix it, I need to find away to fix it, but first I think we should take some time to ourselves. As much as it's going to hurt me to not be able to hold her. I have to do it. She needs time to think, but you better believe that once she's done thinking I'm going to get things to were they used to be.
Okay, before anyone complains, I don't plan on having them fighting for too long. Review and tell me what you think.