A/N: I just want to thank you all for your comments. I just wanted to clear some things up that people keep commenting on. I had a few messages about how unlikely it is to climax whilst experiencing rape. However, everyone reacts differently in this type of situation...trust me. It is actually very common and 4 out of 5 female victims say they experience an orgasm or something akin to an orgasm. It is possible as an orgasm is not necessarily caused by sex itself, it's more so caused by the hypersensitivity of the body and the hormones. The situation of rape causes fear and anxiety and therefore triggers the 'fight or flight' response, this means that your adrenaline levels are extremely high and this is what causes the chemical reactions in your body to speed up, therefore making it possible to climax during a non-consensual encounter due to the speed in which your hormones are working at because of the adrenaline. It is a horrific idea but some rapists do this in order to humiliate their victim and degrade them by turning their own body against them. It's a sick kind of torture for the victim and a sick pleasure for the assailant.
Another comment suggested that I know nothing about rape victims. I will tell you all now, that some of the events in this story is based on true events that have happened, whether they are about myself, a friend or a family member, I will not tell you. I have permission from the victim to write this story and they suggested telling the story through the characters of JK Rowling as it is their favourite series (Let's face it, Harry Potter is EVERYONE'S favourite series) :) . By writing this, it is actually helping the victim through the events they have been through because they are telling their story without having to say a word. Everyone reacts differently when in this type of situation, just because one person experiences one thing, it does NOT mean that another person going through the same thing will have the exact same experience. I hope you all understand this and appreciate this and I hope it may help you readers understand why I write some of the things that I do.
Anyways! On with the next chapter, I hope you enjoy and thank you for your support. It blows me away each time when I read your responses.
A/N: CHAPTER WARNING - This chapter contains discussion of suicide, rape, violence and some nasty language.
Chapter 10: Old Enemy becomes New Friend?
Hermione opened her eyes, her vision was blurry and there was a blinding bright light. Had she done it? Had she offed herself?
She shook her head and cleared the drowsiness and found, with disappointment, that she was still in the bathroom. She looked at her cuts and realised that they had clotted, meaning they hadn't been deep enough to kill her. They'd been enough to hurt and lose a fair bit of blood but nothing more.
Hermione stared at the bathroom floor which looked like it had been painted red and marvelled at the amount of blood that she had lost. She cleaned up her blood and took another shower just to rid her of the disaster that was last night. She wanted to cry but she didn't feel anything at all so she just carried on feeling numb all over.
She wondered what the time was and decided she wasn't going to look until she had packed up her things and double checked she had everything for school.
She set about the task slowly so that as much time would pass as possible. She couldn't believe she had been raped again, she let it happen again, she did nothing to stop it again and she was lost. She needed her potions professor, her friend. But she knew that she would not get what she wished for.
She spent ages packing her belongings and then she checked and double checked her school things. Once she had done that she looked at the time. It was five thirty in the afternoon. She was happy that she was only about sixteen hours away from leaving this place and decided she would take a sleeping draught in a few hours to guarantee at least a twelve hour sleep.
She decided to get some food first and hesitantly made her way to the kitchen ensuring that her wrists were covered inconspicuously. As she walked into the kitchen all conversation stopped and everyone stared at her.
Nobody spoke to her as she picked up a piece of fruit but she had completely lost her appetite. Molly decided to break the tension.
"Are you all packed and ready to go?" Molly asked awkwardly.
Hermione just nodded.
"We will be leaving here at half past nine in the morning. So we are in no panic or rush to board the train" Molly told her.
"Ok" Hermione whispered and she went to walk casually out of the room trying not to breakdown in front of everyone.
"Slut" Ginny faked coughed as she walked past.
"Thief" Harry muttered under his breath but Hermione heard him anyway. She just wanted to be alone and go to sleep.
She walked back up to her room and put her bags by the door ready to take down tomorrow morning. She then grabbed her towel and headed for the bathroom to take a shower.
After she had washed and dressed for bed. She double checked her summer work and made sure that she had done all the work and all the reading. She made a few tweaks on a couple of her projects and checked the time once more.
It was eight o'clock and she decided that was good enough. She was scared Sirius might try and come in again. She thought about barricading her door but realised if he wanted to get in he would just use magic. She prayed that he would not come in tonight and she took the sleeping draught and she climbed into bed. She was asleep before her head even hit the pillow.
Hermione woke to a banging on her door.
"Hermione are you awake?" a male voice shouted through the door. Hermione panicked and took a moment to take everything in.
"Hermione? You've slept in, we leave in half an hour" it was Arthur Weasley.
Hermione shot out of bed and opened the door "I overslept?" She questioned him.
"I'm afraid so, best be quick we leave soon" he said trying not to laugh at her panic.
'Same ole Hermione' he thought to himself grinning.
"I will take your luggage down and cast the shrinking and lightweight charms on them so you don't have to worry about them" Arthur said kindly.
"Thank you Mr Weasley" she smiled at him, thankful for his help.
He left with her backs and she got dressed as quickly as she could. When she got downstairs everyone was there and ready to go. Without any more thoughts they were all assigned an Order member and headed to the apparition points.
By ten o'clock, they were at kings Cross and had just under an hour to spare until the train departed. Hermione went and purchased some food and some tea. She couldn't wait to get on the train and be on her way back to school. Every step was a step further away from Sirius Black and Grimmauld Place.
"Mind if I join you?" a voice asked.
Hermione looked up from her seat and came face to face with Remus Lupin. Hermione hesitated before nodding her consent and Lupin took the chair opposite her.
"Hermione, I wanted to ask you about this thing with Sirius..." Lupin trailed off.
"I don't want to talk about it to be honest Remus. Look, I have told you I don't have a crush on him or see him in any other way but professionally, whether you believe me is up to you" Hermione sighed already bored of the conversation.
"It just doesn't make sense; you always have your eye on him like you're watching him from a distance, calculating his every move. If it's not a crush then it has to be for another reason, but what is it?" Lupin told her.
Hermione sighed she was getting annoyed now.
'Fuck it' she thought to herself.
"Do you want to really know what the matter with me is and what it has to do with Sirius?" She asked him.
He nodded.
"He raped me Remus" she told him calmly.
Lupin's eyes widened and he sat staring at her for a few minutes just shaking his head in disbelief.
"That's not funny Hermione" he finally whispered, voice strained.
"I know it's not Remus. He had me first on the night of the full moon when he was piss drunk and he came back for seconds on Wednesday night" Hermione informed him.
"Oh and he threatened me not to tell anyone or he'd make things worse for me but he's already done his worst so I haven't really got anything to lose anymore" she continued.
"I don't know what to believe" Lupin said hesitantly.
As annoying as it was, Hermione understood him. Lupin and Sirius were best friends, had been for decades she didn't expect Lupin to just turn his back on Sirius after all that time.
"It's the truth Remus, I swear it" she said.
"Why didn't you tell anyone?" He asked her still unconvinced of the situation.
"I did, I told Dumbledore and he told me to keep quiet about it because Harry needs Sirius in his life. Then the night terrors started and that's when Professor Snape found out, he's been helping me ever since" she told him.
"Well there can't be any substantial evidence then if someone as high as Dumbledore refused to intervene. I'm sorry Hermione, I don't know what to believe, you must excuse me" he said getting up to make his leave.
"Wait! Remus, no matter what you believe…do not let Sirius know that I told you anything, I'm terrified as it is. I don't want things to get worse" she begged him.
Remus hesitated before agreeing with her and then he left.
Hermione made her way to the platform and boarded the train and went to find an empty compartment. She found one and she sat down and started reading a book that she had brought with her. The train pulled out of the station and her friends still hadn't found her, she knew they probably wouldn't anyway and so settled herself in for a long lonely journey.
Everything was calm and quiet until...
"Yuck! The only cabin that has enough space for the three of us and its being taken up by a filthy mudblood" a bratty voice hollered.
Hermione didn't look up and she sighed. This was all she needed, Malfoy and his henchmen.
"Don't like it? Then move on Malfoy" she spat out.
"Oh, trying to claim superiority are we Granger?" He asked as he and his cronies made their way into the cabin and sat down. He hoped in doing so it would make her leave. But she held her ground against him.
"Nope, just stating some facts" she said in a sickeningly sweet fake voice.
Malfoy scoffed at her and noticed she was reading some muggle book and he looked at it with disgust.
Hermione sighed and noticed that she had been put of reading the book now and instead she stood up and went to reach her bag on the shelf above her so she could swap it for a school book instead.
"Who has been manhandling you then Granger? I want to know so I can congratulate them." Malfoy sneered at her.
Hermione froze, how had he known? She was beginning to panic internally and she was going to try and play it off coolly.
"I don't think I follow Malfoy" she stated, playing ignorant trying to bide her time to think.
"Don't be dense Granger, it doesn't suit you. There is a hand shaped bruise on the back of your hip. So who have you been playing bondage with" Malfoy grinned thinking he had discovered the kinky life of Hermione Granger. Then he noticed her face.
After he had made the comment about bondage, she had all but frozen, her face had gone pale and her legs had started to give way and she fell to the floor sobbing, not being able to hold it back.
Malfoy was shocked by her reaction. Don't get him wrong, he didn't like Granger but he had been raised by his mother, who had taught him to be a gentleman. He didn't like it when females cried; it made him uncomfortable and reminded him of how often he had seen his mother in a similar state to what Granger was in now. He looked at his cronies for help, they looked as clueless as ever and he groaned agitated by the sound of her sobs and although he would never admit it, he was slightly worried and close to getting a professor.
"Granger, stop it" he demanded and to his surprise, she stopped immediately and looked at him as if remembering where she was and with whom.
She stood up and dried her eyes; she couldn't stay here now and listen to Malfoy taunting her about what had just happened. She needed out and fast; she had prefect duties to do in a little while anyway. In the meantime she would just go and sit with some first years if she had to.
She was about to leave when Malfoy called out to her.
"Hey Granger wait" he said surprising her and himself.
"Just hold on. It's ok to have a few kinks in the bedroom, I didn't mean to cause you a breakdown like that" he said honestly.
Who was this and what had they done with the real Draco Malfoy? Hermione frowned at him.
Malfoy indicated for his cronies to leave and told them to go get some food for themselves. Once they had gone, Malfoy turned to her and told her to sit down.
"Look Granger, I will admit that I don't really like you but then I don't really know you. I've called you names, taunted you and made you cry and for that I will apologise now while we are in private. But the consequences for me, if I don't put on the pure blood supremacy act, are dire and I would be punished greatly for it. Honestly, it amazes me how you are able to take on so much and still be ahead and top of the year. I also don't like to see women cry, I may be a git but I am still a gentleman who hates to see women cry" he told her.
Hermione was shocked; she didn't know what to say or what to do. She swore to Malfoy that she would never tell a soul anything that had happened in here today.
"The bruises, Granger?" He asked her seriously.
"I know how you get hand prints like those and it's not a matter to play off lightly" he said, thinking again of all the times he had seen his mother's body covered in similar bruises.
"Someone I thought I trusted betrayed me in one of the most brutal ways that exist" she confided in him.
"You don't mean ra-" he was cut off with Hermione looking at him pleadingly asking him not to finish the sentence. But that was enough confirmation for Malfoy.
"Merlin, how many times?" he whispered.
"Twice" she whispered.
"Merlin" he repeated.
"Do you need anything?" He asked her. Who could possibly want to hurt her in her little band of friend's? His bets were on the Weasel, that kid was too hot headed for his own good at times.
Hermione shook her head at him but thanked him all the same. For the first time in nearly five years, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy had a mutual understanding and respect for each other. There was even a smirk thrown in when growing buck teeth and ferrets were discussed.
Hermione went to leave the cabin to do her prefect rounds and get changed ready for Hogwarts when she stopped and turned to him.
"You won't say anything?" She asked him, praying he wouldn't use this against her as blackmail or leverage.
"No Granger, never something like this" he said seriously.
She nodded at him and left as his cronies pushed past her into the compartment with their arms full of cakes and sugary snacks.
She quickly did her rounds and changed into her robes. She knew they were approaching Hogsmeade and she couldn't wait to get to the school.
As she stepped off the train, she noticed people staring at her and knew that rumours had already started making their rounds.
She hopped into the first carriage she saw that had space and eventually arrived at the castle. She made her way to her table and sat down and waited for everyone else to arrive and the sorting ceremony to begin. She looked and saw that professor Snape was looking at her and she gave him a quick smile that no one else could see, he simply nodded his head at her.
The tables began to fill up with students, and no one sat near her. She didn't really expect them to, she also heard her name being tossed about but she ignored them.
.
.
.
The sorting ceremony and feast were over pretty quickly and they were dismissed to their dormitories. Hermione walked almost in a catatonic state to her dorm and was greeted with stares and giggles of her roommates.
She then saw why, around her bed was pictures of Sirius Black's old Azkaban mugshot. She panicked and immediately used magic to get them away, trying not to cry she shut her curtains and proceeded to get ready for bed. Her amused roommates, Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil, watched her distress with glee.
After she had finished changing, she came out of the bathroom and sat on the edge of her bed. She was physically and mentally exhausted. She wanted to sleep, but she had to ask. She had to know.
"Why Sirius Black?" she asked her roommates.
Her roommates suddenly stopped their conversation and turned to her, they seemed surprised that she had spoken at all.
"We heard that you liked to get around with older, vile, men. The sleaziest of sleazy men, in nasty little rooms, of the filthiest of places. Then you develop crushes on older men, just to seduce them to get into bed with you. There was no one more fitting of that description than Sirius Black. Hope you like the new bedroom decoration Granger" Lavender Brown replied nastily.
Hermione cringed and then gulped, these girls had no clue how close they were to the truth.
"So that's the rumour that's going around then?" she stated.
"Yep. You like fucking old, dirty, men. Apparently you're not picky, even an escaped lunatic criminal would do it for you" Lavender giggled.
Hermione rolled her eyes and proceeded to get into bed. It was apparent that she was not going to get much sleep tonight, as she lay listening in on the conversations around her. This wasn't fair, and she wouldn't cope if the year was going to be like this.
'It's going to be a long year' she thought to herself as she closed her eyes.
.
.
.
She woke up on Saturday morning and things were much the same. Hermione Granger was depressed and she needed help again but knew it wouldn't be as easy to find as it has been the first time. She wandered around the castle and blanked out the stares, taunts and conversations of the other students.
She was doing well at avoiding everyone until she went down to her favourite spot by the lake and bumped into Draco Malfoy.
Malfoy looked around before addressing her.
"Rough night Granger? You look like hell" he said to her.
"Just what I wanted to hear" she replied sarcastically. She sat down against her favourite tree and took out a book.
"Is it true about you and Black?" He asked her.
She froze.
"I don't have a crush on him" she told him firmly.
He looked at her.
"Well that's good to hear, but I wasn't talking about just the crush. Is it true you've been fucking him since your third year when he broke into the school? Also, apparently you have a secret love child somewhere" he told her.
"That's what they're saying?" She murmured miserably.
He nodded looking almost sympathetic at her.
"I knew it wasn't true" he told her, hoping to relax her just a bit.
"But it was him, wasn't it? He was the one who hurt you" he stated. She just stared at him.
"How did you know?" She asked.
"I overheard, from someone you were staying with over the summer, how you had been watching him closely this summer whilst you were staying in the same accommodation as him. I just put that with what I knew and guessed it was him" he told her.
"This is a nightmare! If anyone from the Ministry believes a word of this, I could get into so much trouble. They might believe that I know where a highly dangerous, escaped criminal is, and be called in for questioning!" she exclaimed miserably.
"I highly doubt that any high up Ministry workers are going to believe the silly rumours and gossip that is going around a teenage wizarding school" Draco said, trying to provide some rational comfort for her.
"I don't know what to do" she admitted her eyes welling up. Malfoy didn't know what to do either; he didn't know how to deal with something as serious as this.
That's when a group of first years bounded close to their spot and Malfoy had to leave, he couldn't be seen talking to her that would cause problems for him and her. He wanted to help her in a way that he wouldn't be found out. If he was going to do that, he would need some advice from someone who wouldn't ask questions.
He found himself walking towards his destination and he held his hand up and knocked on the door.
"Enter" the voice replied from the other side.
Draco entered the room and looked at the man stood in front of him.
"I need some advice" Draco said
"I'm asking as your godson, not as your student" Draco told him.
Severus Snape looked at the boy with mild concern; Draco had never come to him before for serious advice.
"What can I do for you my son" Snape asked his godson, he would never tell him but he loved the boy as if he were his own.
"I need to ask you how I can help someone who I know has been hurt but I can't be seen helping for appearance sake" Malfoy confided in his godfather.
"You must be careful Draco. I saw you sat with Miss Granger a few moments ago and you're lucky I'm the only one who noticed" Snape told his godson.
"She's been hurt sir in a way that's brutal and she needs help but I don't know how to do it" Draco said. Snape was proud of his godson and was glad that his input over the years (with the help of the boy's mother) has distanced Draco from his father's beliefs.
"I'm aware she has been hurt, I assisted her when it happened, a couple of weeks ago" Severus told him.
"You talk like you only helped her once" Draco said confused and happy that his godfather had tried to help her.
"That's because it only happened the once" Snape stated.
"Then why did she tell me it had happened twice?" Draco questioned his godfather.
Snape stared at the boy.
'TWICE?!" Snape yelled at himself unsure of what to think. It didn't happen a second time whilst he was there, the wards he had cast assured him of that so it must've happened when he wasn't there which meant it had happened within the last two days.
Snape paled and his palms began to sweat.
'Don't worry Hermione, I will help you' he thought to himself.