Despite an unlimited supply of coffee and my spare suit (or being 'prepared for everything') as the Captain put it, he still tried to insist that I should go home and have that shower and sleep for a bit. When I continued to refuse he offered to let me use his shower (I was surprised to find that there was a shower in the hub, then again it is so big I'm sure there a rooms I still haven't been in) and at first I thought it was a good idea… What I realised after a minute or two was that he really did mean his shower. He showed me to a room below his office, a bedroom, his bedroom. He really does live here! The shower he was referring to was in his own en suite. I think he expected me to question him about it, but I didn't want to pry, and he has never been one for revealing much so I thought it would be futile to try anyway, so I simply thanked him and went in. Admittedly I was in there a long time, it must have been getting on for 40 minutes; after the lack of sleep the hot water just made everything seem better, and then it happened. The Captain walked in on me completely naked in the shower. I don't know how I'll ever look him in the eye again. For a second he looked genuinely confused, having clearly forgotten that I was using his shower - after all it was still early in the morning, and I don't suppose he had got too much sleep either by the shaded hollows under his eyes - or he had assumed I was out long ago. And then his eyes just widened as I shielded myself as best I could, trying to retain some dignity, as he proceeded to grin.
Without apologising, he turned around and left, laughing as he shouted "So that's what you've been hiding under those wonderful suits"
I'm still not sure whether I should be embarrassed or be flattered or take it as a joke or… To make matters even worse, since the rest of the team arrived he has been making as many innuendos as possible whilst not revealing anything to the others (which I suppose is the one saving grace) leaving me bright pink in the face all morning. When I got out a bar of chocolate to give the pterodactyl from my jacket pocket, Owen asked me if I had another one stashed in there that he could have.
"No but he has another surprise that he may show you later" the Captain replied for me.
Owen looked confused at that, obviously even with all that medical training he still hasn't got the common sense to recognise when someone is making a joke, someone that's not himself at least. That was a bit harsh. Though I'm glad he said it in front of Owen, Tosh would have realised something was going on straight away, and it is far too embarrassing for any of the team to find out about. There was very little rift activity today and the Captain sent us all home early- thank God- so I sit here writing this as I try to think of what to say back to Dr Tanizaki after his interest in mine and Lisa's situation. So far all I can think of is a million ways to say thank you and request he comes here ASAP. I will think of something much more eloquent to reply when I have fully got over today's embarrassment.
So I no longer feel guilty about the above Owen jibe, he spilt coffee on my laptop this afternoon, coffee which I had made for him no less!
The Captain's behaving much more reasonably today; I think he could tell that it bothered me. Although I'm not sure what bothered me most about the whole situation, the fact he saw me naked or the fact that I'm now more worried than ever about what her thinks of me. It's all quite odd.
Anyway, Toshiko and myself stayed in the hub this evening, She tracking down the suspect that the remaining three were following, and I putting together a report on the 'werewolf' sighting in downtown Cardiff the previous night. It's got to be a Weevil surely, not an actual werewolf? Gwen thought she'd lost the suspect, and I suppose she had really, but she had got what Tosh was actually tracking, a quantum transducer the Captain called it. Gwen said that it lights up when you hold it, and makes you feel sort of like, that you need to push the button. She also said that she wished she hadn't pressed it, she saw, and she felt, a lost little boy, Tom Erasmus Flannigan, a refugee in WW2. She said it felt so real, more real than how everything felt to her now. We decided to try and track down Tom, and see if he knew anything about what happened last night, and before I could offer to search for him Owen was reading out his address. He used the phone book, and he calls me old fashioned? To be honest my first thought would have been to try that as well, it is an awfully unusual name after all, can't be many about. When Gwen told me that she had Owen pretending to be her trainee DI and even had him making the tea during their investigation I really had to make an effort not to laugh. I'm not quite sure why I still make such an effort to be nice to Owen, it's not just me he snaps at or is rude to; it's Gwen and Tosh as well. It especially bothers me about the way he talks to Tosh sometimes, I wish I was a different sort of person, one who would teach him some sort of lesson on her behalf. But we all know I'm not like that.
Owen pushed the button this time. And I must say this is the first time I have seen genuine fear on that boy's face. What he saw is too horrible to repeat, poor Lizzie Lewis. She'd told her mum she'd be home by nine. I can completely sympathise with Owen wanting to alert the police, or track down this Ed Morgan. But for now we are trying to track down Burney, the young chap who had the transducer in the first place. He lives in Splott, so I thought I'd try and lighten the mood with a classic Splott Joke:
"I believe estate agents pronounce it Sploe".
I saw a hint of a giggle on Tosh's mouth, but as soon as she realised nobody else was laughing she hid it completely. I think the Captain would have laughed if he was not still playing it very carefully around me. It's been three days since the shower incident, I suppose I've got over it, just, but I'm surprised that he isn't behaving normally yet. In actual fact though, his current behaviour is making me feel more uncomfortable than his usual flirtatious manner; out of the corner of my eye I keep noticing him watching me, not staring, just observing, contemplating something. I hope he isn't deciding to get rid of me, maybe that's why he wasn't laughing at my joke, he doesn't have to pretend to find me funny anymore. After all he has Gwen now, who is ready and willing to go straight into fieldwork and let's face it what services do I provide that can't be done by making a quick phone call or trip to Starbucks? I watched him on the CCTV with Gwen down in the firing range. I know I shouldn't have done, but he'd never taken me down there, somehow I felt jealous. I'm not really sure why it was bothering me. Lately there are lots of things that I don't quite understand. And then there's the look on his face when he talks to her sometimes…
Owen found Burney today, just sitting in the park in Splott, according to Owen he chased him across garden fences and over walls, he can exaggerate sometimes, but the look in his eyes showed the adrenaline rush that he had been through. The team went to meet them at Burney's squat, I stayed at the hub, I'd been running an analysis on the transducer last night and was writing up the findings this morning. I realised that this was only one half of the device. Not that it mattered seeing as the team brought back the other half with them, and if I'm honest Gwen looked as if she wished she hadn't, I wonder what it does.
To my pleasant surprise I overheard Owen asking Tosh to the pub this evening, maybe he's finally realised what's been staring him in the face for so long or perhaps seeing what he saw has changed how he looks at things. After all he hasn't called me teaboy in at least three days now. We shall have to have a good gossip about this when the workload lightens a bit.
I may have spoken a little too soon about the workload lightening, there is so much paperwork to complete after tonight, not to mention the fact that poor Gwen won't have calmed down for a good few days. I don't know where to begin in describing what happened. It's all so hard to take in, to believe. We found out that Owen had been to see Ed Morgan, and sort of threatened him. And not only this, but that Burney had also been round to see Ed Morgan, and had tried to blackmail him. Gwen went to go and see Burney to talk about what he had seen using the device. The second half shows the future and Burney saw himself dying, but while she was there Ed had arranged to meet Burney. The Captain told me, that he had a knife. He was threatening to kill Burney, then Owen took the knife… and he was threatening Ed. What he'd seen with Lizzie must have really got to him, because Owen could never contemplate murder under normal circumstances, he's a doctor. Gwen had seen a vision, the Captain said, of her holding a knife, hands covered in blood.
She heard herself say "Owen had the knife" and assumed he had killed Ed Morgan.
So she took the knife from him, and I feel so terrible for what happened to her next. Ed walked into the knife, killed himself while she was still holding it. Her hands were covered in blood, it happened after all, no matter how hard she had tried to stop it. When they got back to the hub I poured us all (barring the Captain) a scotch, by the looks of things everyone needed it. Under the Captain's orders I filed the transducer away in the secure archives, we won't be seeing that again.
To top everything off I think Lisa is progressing, or getting worse or however I am supposed to put it. In the last few days when I have visited her there have been moments when her eyes just sort of glaze over into a look of emptiness, and her mouth says things which aren't her own words. She is starting to sound like one of them, one of those monstrous metal machines. My Lisa, my beautiful Lisa, why did they do this to her? I'm worried that it's already too late for her now, but I am praying that Dr Tanizaki arrives soon; maybe he can save her still. If today has proven anything it's that the future is not to be known beforehand, but if I could know what would happen to her… Then again I may not be able to prevent anything, as Gwen found out today. I don't want to be there scrubbing blood of my hands for hours like she was, but what if Lisa… I don't even want to think about it. All I can do is wait.