The Nirvana that Feeds: I don't even own any of the games; I just watch my friend-who is a big fan and has all the games- play, so that's where I get the jokes from. And the Deep Throat part wasn't inspired by that. Are you sure you don't know what Jamesy was doing? 

Gaia Faye: Yep, poor Eileen; I was beating on Walter too much… I've never even had and 'Cheez-Its'… Ironic, isn't it?

SageoWind218: You better not; too much pudding is bad for you. Yeah, I guess he is… You spelled 'Vengeance' wrong.

Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode XXX

Wait… That's wrong…

Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode X(XX)

There it is!... No, hold on…

Silent Hill: The One with a Crappy Plotline; Episode X

Now we're talking.

Henry slowly strode through the entrance of Dunky-Dunks; the smell of gasoline, chocolate doughnuts, and French fries greeted him.

'Why did that guy have to make me come here…?'

Dunky-Dunks was a somewhat large, two-floor building split up into three sections. The entire top floor was the 'Classy' section, deserved only for the most prestigious and wealthy people; in other words, the mafia.

The bottom floor held the other two sections. One was for common folk, regular class. The other was for, well, you don't want to know…

Henry, deciding he didn't want to waste time, walked up to the front desk thing. The woman standing behind the large, wooden desk snorted as she looked up at him. Her uniform was basically a long, red dress, and a weird blanket thing draped across her arms.

"What?" she asked annoyingly, and Henry's eyes wandered, finding that there was a nametag pinned on the blanket thing.

It read: CYNDY

"Alright, Cindy, I'm here to meet someone."

"Who?" Cindy scratched her chin, her long brown hair framing her face.

"That's it; I don't know who it is, but he probably looks mysterious."

"Oh, okay. A guy came in a little earlier like that; said someone would be looking for him."

She turned slightly and pointed to the doorway that led to the normal, common section of the place.

"Thanks," muttered Henry as he walked past the desk and into the next room.

As he did this, the entrance door opened again, and the Sunderlands walked inside, James looking around nervously. "Oh man… I never liked this place…"

"You're just acting like a big baby," stated Laura. "You don't know, Laura, so don't say anything," replied James slightly angrily.

"Oh, just relax, James," said Mary as Frank placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Exactly Jamesy- my boy, and besides, we're here to celebrate what a miraculous day it has been!"

James only made a sobbing sound.

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Heather rolled out of the way of another attack, quickly rising and filling the Missionary full with lead; it dropped to the floor with a loud thud, but two more rushed at her from behind it. Another one behind her attempted a strike, but she back flipped, landing behind it as it hit one of the other two Missionaries.

She swiftly brought her arms up, straight to both of her sides, planting a bullet in both of the two attackers coming from the sides.

Heather then aimed directly in front of her, shooting down the next two demons, but the last one hadn't been hit, and was now dashing straight at her.

She pulled the triggers.

CLICK.

'Damn.'

The final monster rammed into her, knocking the girl against the wall. She fell into a sitting position, but as the Missionary prepared a final attack, she kicked it, and then once more. It fell, and Heather ended it with a good 'ol stomp.

She looked towards Claudia, a great big, triumphant smirk on her face. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

Claudia smiled evilly. "That was only the beginning, Alessa…"

Heather spun around, seeing about thirty Missionaries coming from all sides, slowly advancing towards her. Claudia threw something at her, and Heather caught it.

"Hey, it's my katana!"

The demons roared and went at her, but the young woman quickly twirled and decapitated four of them; she then stabbed one coming from behind, jerked the blade out, and slashed away another three.

Heather speedily glanced up at where Claudia had been standing, and noticed the priestess was walking out into a room behind her.

She didn't have time for that now, as more Missionaries were attacking; she crouched down and rolled forward, slicing through their legs before flipping up and striking two down. Upon landing, she ducked, avoiding a swipe, and then forcing the sword through the creature's abdomen. She swung it around, knocking down about six Missionaries.

Deciding now was the time, she ran forward, slicing down the demons in quick succession until she reached a set of stairs that led up to the balcony area Claudia was at. More monsters stopped her advancement, and she blocked a few attacks before countering and striking them down, kicking one down the stairs so that it hit a few more at the bottom.

Five more launched through the flooring, jumping up into the air. Heather leapt against the wall and kicked off of it, slashing through them. She rolled once she hit the floor, stopping and stabbing another creature. Spinning around and sweeping the one from behind off its feet, she sliced through the demon she had stabbed.

Ten Missionaries were crawling along the wall before her, bouncing off. With a cry, Heather rushed at them, slashing at them before they even got to her. The remaining creatures sped up the stairs at her, but Heather stood her ground, keeping a defensive position as they reached her.

She struck the first two, but one jumped from behind them and hit her down; she rolled back though, slicing it in half vertically before launching herself into the fray, cutting through the rest with incredible speed.

And that was it. She tried to regain her breath, swinging the katana to the right so that the black liquid staining it could fly off. She sighed and walked into the next room… only to find herself inside a much smaller area. It was snowing, but the sky was pitch black, and the ground was a lush white.

Claudia was standing a little ways off, her back to Heather. "It is almost here, Alessa… The gateway to Paradise shall be opened…"

"What do you mean?"

"Our Lord's plan is almost complete… He only needs the true power of Samael, and once he has become like a god, the tainted ones of this pitiful world will allowed a second chance, and the pure will be lifted up into Heaven…"

Heather snorted. "I'm tired of all that nonsense; where is your "Lord" anyway?"

"He is taking care of something which he must; do not worry over it."

"Oh, I'm not," she responded while raising the sword, "I was just curious."

"You would stand against him…?" Claudia turned, the sheath of her own sword gripped tightly in her left hand. "I cannot allow that, Alessa, but I sincerely hope you are prepared."

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"Seal off the west block! We need to contain those prisoners!"

"We need to make sure Miss Maxwell doesn't hear about this either! With the super-secret-Metal-Gear-we're-not-supposed-to-talk-about-at-all being activated today, we can't have these rats getting in the way!"

"Wait, it's them! Open fire!"

Harry dove behind a corner as the bullets sailed right past him. He rolled out, firing at the five guards, which were dressed exactly like all the other henchmen. They dispersed, three hiding behind a random pillar in the center of the hallway, and the other two taking cover behind another corner.

"Harry! Hold on!" shouted Walter as he, Lisa, and Vincent caught up to him. The novelist shot down the two guards, but one of the other three threw a somewhat small, silver sphere out towards them.

"Move!" yelled Harry as the sphere exploded, casting smoke everywhere.

"Damn, where'd they go?"

Several more gunshots, barely missing them. The group ran out of the hallway and into the next, shooting at the three guards as they came into view. One of them ducked however, and brought a small radio to his gas mask thing. "Requesting backup! Repeat, requesting backup! The prisoners are armed and-,"

BANG.

Harry stood over him as he fell, dead. "Idiot…" he muttered harshly as Walter stepped up next to him.

"That… that was cruel! You shot him right in the temple!"

"So?" he asked back casually. "He probably deserved it."

"Well what if he didn't?" retorted Walter. "What if he was just some poor, random bastard who liked cheesecake?"

Before Harry could respond, though, seven more evil guards came around the corner, their machine guns raised.

"Let's move!" commanded Harry before the four sprinted down the corridor before them…

Back with Fabio…

The disguised Fabio slowly made his way forward, nudging one of the henchmen next to him. "What's that?" he questioned while pointing at the gigantic machine.

The minion suddenly slapped him. "What are you? An idiot? That's Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0! Miss Maxwell found the design plans for it with this random Russian guy at a corner store… weird, huh?"

"Yes, but why does she even want it?"

"For a variety of reasons, but it's mostly for money. Sell that thing on the black market or eBay, and you'll millions of dollars for it. You'd be surprised how many evil, maniacal freaks are out there looking for a doomsday device."

Fabio shrugged when the large, metal doors behind them blew open, and in ran Harry Mason, Walter Sullivan, Lisa Garland, and Vincent… Vincent… What's his last name again?

"Now where are we?" thought Walter aloud as all the henchmen in the room looked towards them. "Aren't those the escapees?"

"Yeah, I think they are! Get them!"

Before the tons of evil minions could open fire however, there was a loud cough.

"I wouldn't do that, lads…"

Everyone looked up to see an old man with a long, gray beard standing upon Metal Gear; he was wearing a long, navy blue coat…

"It's that old guy that ransacked my coat!" Walter shouted while pointing up at him. The old man grinned. "Ah, yes, I must thank thee, my boy, but unless you want your precious little weapon going to kingdom come, I wouldn't do anything fishy."

Suddenly, a bullet whizzed past the old man's head. "Okay, just shut up, you stupid old geezer."

They all looked at Lisa. "You could've killed him!" exclaimed a random minion. "If you'd pay attention, dimwit, you would've noticed I purposely missed him," responded the woman. "But that was just a warning shot; the Metal Gear is mine."

Everyone gasped. "Lisa, why would you want it, you're not like that!" said Harry as he stood in front of her.

"Power, Harry, power. I've known about this for awhile now, but I had to find a way to get to it. When I found Vincent, he was drunk, so I knocked him out, and since he was in Silent Hill, I knew Maxwell's goons would find us eventually."

"Lisa, that doesn't even make any sense," replied the novelist. "You're spouting nonsense."

"Nonsense?" She laughed maniacally. "I know exactly what I'm doing!" She then punched Harry hard, knocking him down.

Walter was about to run over to them, but she spun around, gun in his face. "Sorry, losers, but it's mine!"

Lisa then ran over to the machine, bullets grazing against the floor after her. With a mighty leap, she landed on the open hatch on its front face, sliding into the nice, black, leather seat.

'Hey, there's even a massage button…'

"Wait, Lisa!" screamed Henry over the roar of the humongous boosters as they suddenly turned on. The steel hatch closed as the war machine began to hover in the air. Panic spread throughout the crowds as the guards, minions, and others shot at the mechanical terror. The great tail behind it swept across the floor, knocking aside many people.

'She knows how to use it…' thought Harry as Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0 crashed through the ceiling, bursts of fire injuring all the people around it, and the old man was nowhere to be seen…

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"Come on James, let's go get our food at the buffet," said Mary, getting only a strange look from her husband/killer.

She only sighed as Frank came and dropped a plate stuffed with all sorts of foods. He sat beside Laura, who was looking disgustedly at her… "Kiddy" cup, which was painted a bright yellow with the big, red letters: DUNKY KIDS!

"…Can't I have like, beer, or something?"

"Laura, you're too young to be drinking alcohol," stated Mary sternly as the eight year-old groaned. "Okay…"

Mrs. Sunderland smiled. "Well, I'm going to be getting my food; behave, James."

"Aren't you supposed to tell Laura that?"

But Mary was already heading for the buffet area…

HENRY TIME!

Henry looked around, trying to find the mysterious guy that had called him… and that's when he saw him. A man, wearing a brown bowler hat and coat, was sitting at a small table at the back of the room. He approached him.

The man didn't even need to look up, but only waved an arm out. "Please, have a seat."

Henry sat, eyeing the guy suspiciously. He was sort of glad about coming here because his smell blended in.

"Who are you?" asked Henry bluntly as the man took a sip from his tea cup. The hat and coat hid his identity, and the brunet could not see his face.

"You know who I am, Henry, the same way I know you."

"I don't understand…"

"15121."

"…Joseph?"

"Correct."

Joseph Schreiber raised his head slightly. "There are devious things playing out, Henry… I had to speak with you…"

"Yeah, okay, sure…" Henry leaned back. "Does this… involve Walter?"

"Why, yes, yes it does. In fact, Walter Sullivan plays a crucial role in this."

"Like, how?"

"As I'm sure you know, Henry, Walter, Jasper Gein, Cynthia Velasquez, and I were all dead. Doesn't it seem strange that we all just came back to life?"

"Yeah, it was weird, but I just thought it was the type of thing that Walter does. Kills himself with a spoon, comes back, get hacked by me, comes back… You know what I mean."

Joseph nodded. "Yes, but there is a force much more powerful than Walter Sullivan at work… he was only a mere pawn, as was The Order; they were just simple tools."
"What was controlling them?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but this force has been pulling the strings ever since Silent Hill was built, but-,"

A loud crash could suddenly be heard.

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Mary zoomed through the rows of food, her plate held firmly. She quickly found the chicken teriyaki, but a voice stopped her.

"I like that too, but I guess I should…"

That voice. It could only belong to… Maria.

Dun Dun DUN!

Mary looked back, surprised. "You! You're that woman… the one James knew!"

"Yeah, he talked a lot about you too. I don't see the big deal, though… but I'm Maria, and you're Mary. Good, we're done with introductions."

"What, what do you want?" inquired Mary somewhat angrily as she backed away. "Oh, I just want to talk with James…"

"Forget it. You're not talking to him."

"Oh?"

Maria laughed. "I'd love to know how you're going to stop me."

"By force, if I have to."

"You're kidding, right?" There was a crash all of a sudden, and Maria frowned. "Oh, great… That jerk, Valtiel, wants to ruin my fun."

Now to Pyramid Head, who had hulked into the building, destroying the wall…

The tall demon glanced around, watching as all the frightened little people ran around in panic. With a heavy sigh, he dragged the Great Knife inside, too lazy to pick it up.

That's when he saw James… and Laura, who rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"Oh man, it's him again…"

James quickly stood up, his expression fearful. Pyramid Head only shook his head, but it was hard to tell, with the helmet and all. "I'm not here for you, James; I'm only here to pick someone up… Someone who's broken a few rules…"

And that's when Frank came back with his second plate of food, since he didn't want to wait until he finished his first. He dropped it.

"I don't believe it…"

Pyramid Head stared at him for a moment, before chuckling. "And here I was thinking you'd died…"

Frank furrowed his brow and clenched his fists. "You know I can't die until I've sent you to Hell and back."

Pyramid Head nodded. "Yes… but that was years ago, Frank… back when I was only a foolish apprentice, and you were the master… but I am the master now…"

"Only a master of pure evil, Jim."

"That name means nothing to me anymore, Frank."

Pyramid Head brought the Great Knife up and over his head. "It's time, Frank, to end this!"

Before Frank or James could react, the blade impaled Frank Sunderland, and he was looking up at Pyramid Head with an expression of pure ferocity. However, Pyramid Head jerked the Great Knife out and hit the man to the floor.

"NO!" shouted James as he rushed over to his father's side. Pyramid Head sighed.

"I suppose he never told you, James…? Never told you the truth…"

James looked up at the demon heatedly, his teeth ground. "What?"

"Frank's been lying to you this entire time, James… He is not your father."

"What… What are you talking about?"

"You see James… I am your father!"

(And so begins the many crazy spoofs…)