Author's Note: :DDDDDDDDD (too happy to think of any words to say just yet. Will probably put it in the endnote as usual.)
Title: A Tale of Timeless Love
Disclaimer: No. I don't own Shugo Chara they belong to PEACHPIT, which I have been bribing (possibly blackmailing) since I first read the manga to transfer the copyrights to my name. (NOT.) Anyway, if I did own it, it probably wouldn't be as good – so I have stopped dreaming of doing just that as of now. ;D
-OoO-
Chapter 10 Fragments of Time
"How did your visit go, Yaya?" Kukai addressed Yaya as the two of them sat comfortably in the carriage Reiji had provided for Kukai.
"I met Hinamori Amu," she said distantly, her eyes focused on the passing scenery outside the window. Kukai felt his brows furrow at her reply.
"I assumed you would be more jovial about meeting her." he mused aloud, knowing she could hear the silent question behind his words.
"She seemed so sad… and so terribly lonely," Yaya said dejectedly as she tore her gaze away from the window and shifted it to Kukai's face.
"Do you think it is possible for a human to become a machine, Kukai?" Yaya asked suddenly.
"That was a random question." Kukai pointed out with an eyebrow raised.
"Just answer the question."
"No," Kukai answered carefully, wondering where their conversation was going. "I do not think it is possible. We are human for a reason. That is because we feel, it is not possible for a machine to feel and it is impossible for a human to be perfectly neutral."
"Hinamori Amu," Yaya murmured vaguely, "is the closest thing I've ever encountered to a human machine, Kukai." She continued with a sad smile.
"She would speak as if she was merely reading aloud. Her expressions were mild and she barely smiled. Her eyes were unfocused, like she wasn't really seeing anything…" she trailed off before she added, "all of it was quite… disturbing…"
Kukai listened patiently to her words and wondered what kind of person Hinamori Amu was to have shaken Yaya to this extent. But more importantly, he noted that her soul seemed like the perfect refuge for one of his targets. He made a mental reminder to meet her the next time he went to the Palace.
"But… when she cried in front of me, I saw the despair in her eyes. Alone with nothing to fulfil her – that's the scariest thing anyone could ever go through. And it seemed like she had lived like that for a very long time." Yaya said sadly with her eyes downcast.
Kukai gave a sigh and reached out to ruffle her hair. "Then just stay with her. If you think she's lonely, stay with her," he said easily with a knowing smile.
That's right. Just like what Reiji had done with him so long ago when he had been a recluse little boy.
"Ne, Kukai, why are you always alone?"
"Don't talk to me so familiarly."
"Could it be that you don't have friends?"
"That is none of your business."
"Can I be your friend then?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't need friends. Humans lie for their own benefit. Friendship is simply a means for people to take what they want from someone."
"I'm not lying. I'll be your friend for eternity, Kukai – so let me be your friend."
"I refuse."
"Then I'll just have to convince you that I'm not lying."
"Do what you will. You're just wasting your time."
"Okay! Operation: follow Kukai until he agrees to let me be his friend, commence!"
"Fool."
Without really meaning to, Kukai let out a laugh that made Yaya look at him with a puzzled expression.
"Trust me on this, Yaya," he said confidently, "If you stay with her long enough, she'll let you into her lonesome world."
Just like I did, Kukai continued on mentally.
Yaya only stared at him for a few seconds. Slowly, she gave her characteristic smile and nodded, "Un!"
"Is there anything else I should know?" he prompted when she had settled back into her chair with a relaxed aura – her familiar aura that he had grown accustomed to in his everyday life.
"Ah!" she burst out suddenly, making Kukai jump in surprise.
"I remember! There was this really mean moss haired megane!" she spoke with an irritated voice.
"Moss-haired…megane?" Kukai echoed with a bemused expression. The image formed in his mind was sea monster with glasses and he suppressed a laugh building in his chest.
"Yes! He was the first person Yaya met when she entered the Royal Palace and she only asked for directions, then he began to lecturing Yaya! He said Yaya was careless for going there without any idea where to go or what Hinamori Amu looked liked. He was really awful, then Yaya got annoyed so she threw her pin at him and it hit his forehead really hard…" her voice trailed off at the last sentence and Kukai saw a sheepish look diffuse on her face.
"You probably should not have done that. He did tell you how to get to the Royal Manor, am I correct?" Kukai asked meaningfully.
"Well, yes…" Yaya replied hesitantly, "but he deserved to get hit!" she added decisively, her mouth set in a stubborn pout. "He had no right to tell Yaya off. Only Reiji and Kukai are allowed to do something like that!"
"I'm honored to have such a privilege," Kukai said as he chuckled lightly. "But you should not have thrown your pin at him. Did you apologize?"
"No," she replied mulishly. "Yaya bolted off before he would scold her again." She added proudly and Kuka laughed aloud. He reached out and flicked her forehead lightly.
"You have to take responsibility for your actions. What if the moss haired megane told his superiors? Wouldn't Reiji be seen as an incompetent master who cannot keep his aide in line?" Kukai said purposely and Yaya pursed her lips.
After a few moments of avoiding Kukai's expectant expression, Yaya relented and gave a defeated sigh. "Alright. Yaya will properly apologize. But if he scolds Yaya again–"
"He will not," Kukai interrupted swiftly. "If you apologize sincerely, he will not scold you." He reassured her but Yaya still looked dubious.
"Yaya would have tolerated him if he scolded Yaya like you and Reiji do."
"That's just because Reiji and I are too soft on you," Kuka replied and it made him wonder if they should start being stricter on her. She was going to be thirteen this year; Kukai decided to talk it over with Reiji later.
"Where's Daichi by the way? He came to look for Yaya a while ago," she said, giving Kukai a questioning glance.
"He went ahead to inform Reiji that we're on our way and he said he had a score to settle with him so he teleported before I could even protest." Kukai gave a careless shrug and Yaya giggled.
"He's as impulsive as ever."
"He's a lot like someone I know." Kukai teased and Yaya crossed her arms with a pout.
"I'm not impulsive." She huffed and Kukai cracked a smile.
"Sure, you're not," Kukai said, his voice heavy on sarcasm, "You don't run head first into things and you don't go rushing off without telling anyone."
A guilty expression began forming on her face and Kukai laughed.
"Mou, Kukai's a meanie!" she cried out childishly, elbowing his ribs – which only made Kukai laugh harder. He protected himself against Yaya's hits by grabbing her wrists and smiling down at her.
"I was only teasing you," he apologized before he glanced out the window and scowled. "Ah. We're here."
"Why are you always so irritated when you come home? Do you not like it here?" she asked as the carriage passed the gate separating the Mansion from the Imperial City.
"I hate this place," he said distastefully and grimaced at the familiar grounds of the Mansion.
"Then, you hate Reiji and Yaya too?"
"No," Kukai said with emphasis, "You two are the only people I like in this whole place."
"Eh? But everyone's so nice! They always smile at Yaya!" she said gleefully as she glanced at the window and waved at the other servants who in turn, smiled back at her.
"See?" she said, turning back to give Kukai a sideways smile.
Kukai gave a sardonic smile as he gazed outside at the servants who looked away from him pointedly. They had that reaction since the day he was born – and that had not changed in these past fifteen years.
He looked at Yaya and saw her innocence and ignorance – how he wished he could be like that too… but Fate had never given him the chance or even the choice. She had thrust him headfirst into a hard life she had prepared especially for him.
-OoO-
"Papa, my hands hurt. Can't I rest even just for a little bit?" A young girl's voice complained, her voice betraying a tinge of fear mixed with cautiousness.
"No. Until you have finished all of your studies designated for today, you are forbidden to put that pen brush down." A deep man's voice replied sharply in a tone that prevented any sort of argument.
The girl hesitated for a moment before she spoke once more.
"But, Papa – " the girl gently protested. There was a pleading note in her voice.
"Have you finished all of your lessons for today?"
"No, but –" the fear in her voice became more evident.
"Did you not hear me? I said no." he repeated severely, not giving her a chance to continue. "I care not whether your hand bleeds when you are finished. You shall finish the work assigned to you today. If not, you are well aware of the punishment that will await you tomorrow. I do not tolerate any failure in our family; you should understand the weight of your responsibility, Amu."
There was the sound of a wooden chair scraping against the floor. Footsteps resounded and disappeared as a door opened and slammed shut.
After a moment, the sound of low sniffling and shuffling paper were the only thing that could be heard.
The darkness around Amu began to dissolve, revealing a scene she had no recollection of – but she was well aware of who it belonged to. Sitting at the table was a small pink haired girl no older than eight; she was writing diligently on a long scroll of parchment with tears streaming down her face.
Amu recognized the young girl immediately.
It was her.
Or rather, it was Amu… the real Amu – the Amu that had disappeared in that fiery nightmare so long ago.
The young girl's hand gripped the brush tightly, almost frantically, and Amu could see angry red marks where the brush rubbed against her skin. Despite being so young, there was already such deep despair and misery within her golden orbs. The tears she shed seemed to ease little of her pain and Amu felt a twinge of pity in her chest.
A child shouldn't have been able to make such a pained expression.
This was her memory. She had only been a child, yet her father had treated her so cruelly. It would be no wonder if she had grown up to be someone like her, Amu thought as she continued to watch her.
Amu reached out to touch the crying little girl but when she had moved closer by a step, the whole scene had dissolved into nothing. Her awareness of the real world began to kick in and she welcome it without much protest.
She would have rather not seen a fragment of her memory but it could not be helped – she was still inside her after all.
She slowly opened her eyes and saw only a hazy grey stretch. She blinked once and refocused, realizing that the grey stretch was actually the outline of polished stone above her. She sat up slowly and tried to recall when she had fallen asleep.
Before she could gather her wits, a voice spoke out loud.
"You are awake at last." A very familiar voice greeted her and Amu froze on the spot. When she heard his voice, her memory began settling back in her brain. She drew a sharp intake of breath as she remembered the preceding events that had led to her falling unconscious.
She cautiously stole a glance at the source of the voice, and sure enough – there was Ikuto, leaning against the rectangular opening in the wall looking unexpectedly grim against the blindingly red sunset.
Red.
She hated that color the most, Amu thought as she shielded her eyes from the intense crimson beams. Ikuto's face was an indiscernible mask against the light. He seemed somewhat… withdrawn – and Amu realized a little late, for very good reasons. She was not stupid enough to not know that his strange behaviour was because of her.
Amu felt the cold stone beneath her and the warmth of Ikuto's outer robes thrown over her. She unknowingly clenched her fist beneath the robes. She glanced around and realized that this was a place she had not seen yet.
She glanced out the window and she was able to see a tall building on the opposite side; it was then that she figured out where she was exactly. The two of them were in one of the Royal Guard's four Watch Towers within the perimeter of the Imperial Palace.
Just as she began to assess which of the Towers they were in, Ikuto broke the silence lingering between them.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly and Amu felt her eyes widen.
"You must be mistaken. I am the one who needs to apologize for my behavior, Ikuto." Amu interjected in that frank tone she always had when she was confused. He said nothing in reply but she saw his head tilt sideways. Amu could almost imagine the questioning look he was wearing.
"I am apologizing because I am well aware that what happened a while ago was something I was not supposed to see." He explained wryly but Amu could hear the seriousness in his voice. "And, I believe I must also apologize for taking advantage of you while you were in a vulnerable state." He added and Amu knew that this was what made him seem so awkward and uncomfortable where he stood.
"Enough," Amu tried to wave off the bad vibes he emitted; she felt his heavy gaze focusing on her alone. "It is no matter, Ikuto. What troubles me more is you admitting you were in the wrong so easily. Did I perchance strike you in the head while I was unconscious?" she asked in a very convincingly serious tone.
Despite her attempt to lighten the mood, Ikuto seemed to have hardly changed from his current demeanor. Usually, he would play along with her simply because he felt like it, but this time he seemed to be farther away than those few feet that separated them.
"Would it be alright for me to come closer?" he asked carefully and Amu's words replayed in her mind.
Don't touch me!
Ah, how could she have uttered such words to him? She wondered, remembering the scene moments ago so clearly.
"That would be quite alright," she said in a purposely nonchalant tone.
At her reply, Ikuto moved forward, away from the window. He kneeled in front of her gracefully and only stared at her face, not saying another word. She should have been embarrassed to look at him after what she had done, but she found herself strangely drawn in by those ocean eyes – eyes that seemed to go on and on without end.
Amu noticed the concealed distraught in the slight changes in his expression, but made no further comment. She kept her face blank so as to not betray just how shaken and disturbed she truly was. How terrified she was that he would to ask about her – because he had caught a glimpse of her.
He was the first person to have ever seen her in that state – not even Ami or her foster parents had ever seen her as she had been with him.
"I will not question you about it." he stated decisively and Amu felt relief flood into her chest. "But I need you to promise me something." He added in a tone of bargaining.
She knew that when someone bargained, they offered something with equal or better quality for a lower price – but it wasn't necessarily better for the person buying.
"Which is?" she said tentatively, examining him closely.
"You have to promise me that one day, you will tell me everything about you and I must be the first and only person to know about it," he said firmly, his eyes blazing like ice fire.
Amu let out a bitter laugh and Ikuto seemed taken aback by her reaction.
"Did I miss the joke?" he asked, but Amu knew he had heard the misery in her laugh.
"I'm afraid I cannot promise you such a thing." She answered in an apologetic tone and she gave him a sardonic smile. He blinked a few times but his eyes remained questioning.
If only he knew, Amu thought sadly.
"I cannot promise you such a thing because there is nothing for me to reveal," she said and paused as she watched him listen to her every word with rapt attention, "I have no past."
And no future, she added to herself. He seemed confused at her reply and she decided to baffle him all the more with cryptic replies.
"You say you want to meet her right?" she asked abruptly.
"Her?" he repeated with a frown. She smiled, he was obviously not seeing the whole picture just yet – but she had no intention of showing it to him so easily.
"That's right, her. If you want to meet her, you'll have to find her yourself."
A contemplative look crossed his features before he reached out and brushed her hair away from her face. Amu froze at the physical contact and Ikuto gave a disarming smile, his confusion seemed to have dissolved at her reaction.
"Whoever she is, she'll have to wait – because the only one I'm interested in at the moment… is you." He stated decisively and Amu flushed a bright red.
He chuckled lightly and drew his hand away. Before she knew it, he settled his head on her lap and closed her eyes.
"Ikuto!"
"I'm tired. Just to remind you, I carried you all the way here. Let me rest for a bit." He murmured vaguely and Amu had to strain her ears to catch his words.
"Then you should rest in your quarters," Amu protested and she jostled his shoulder. Ikuto caught her hand and pressed it to his face.
"You're so warm," he whispered before he pressed his lips against her palm.
Amu blushed as he felt his warm breath against her hand and she calmed herself. She would not allow herself to be shaken by his mere presence. She had already thought of an alternative solution to dealing with him – she simply had to get used to his company. If she was ever going to find true calm when she was near him, she would have to get used to him – everything about him.
Amu decided she would first get used to his scent; she closed her eyes and concentrated.
Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out.
He smelled of mint with a touch of milk. It was a mild fragrance, but Amu found that she did not dislike it like she did most smells. It was a faint scent, barely noticeable – but Amu found that it suited him. Soon, his scent was the only thing that filled her senses and she could already distinguish it from other smells easily.
She opened her eyes and found him sleeping soundly, still holding her hand to his face. She wondered briefly if he felt cold; he had draped his outer robes over her when she was asleep but she could not do the same with him lying on her lap.
She sighed and stared down at him curiously.
Long lashes. Soft lips. Prominent cheek bones. A well proportioned nose. A slender neck – and when she looked closer, Amu realized that the pouch she had given him was slung over his neck and hidden under his inner robes.
She reached out reflexively and pushed away strands of his hair from his face.
Soft hair, she noted once again.
She ran her fingers through his hair and memorized the softness of his hair. It felt like she was treading her fingers through water. She closed her eyes once more and listened intently as she stopped ruffling his hair.
The sound of his rhythmic breathing was a comforting melody. She gave a small smile and she continued to listen to his sound. It was a long time since she had last done this. Usually, she would listen to Ami's steady breathing beside her at night back when she still lived at the inn.
She felt Ikuto shift his position and she slowly opened her eyes – only to find him looking back at her a tad sleepily.
"You were smiling," he drawled and Amu understood the question in his words. Of course he would want to know why, that was just the way he was.
"It's nothing." She replied swiftly with a wave of her hand.
"It's not nothing. It's never nothing if it can make someone like you smile," he said cleverly, his eyes regaining its usual mischievous glimmer.
"So you say," Amu replied with a careless shrug.
"Do you disagree?" he asked pointedly.
"I agree that not many things can make me smile but I don't see how that concerns you." She replied flatly, giving her point directly. She did not bother to scold herself for her insolent tone seeing as how it did not bother him in the least.
"Did it ever occur to you that it might be because I want to see you smile?"
"Well, good luck with that." Amu replied carelessly and Ikuto's eyes widened at her answer.
"That's not a reply I expected you to ever say." he pointed out and Amu gave a noncommittal shrug.
"I've decided that there's no point acting in front of you anymore. I'll just say what's on my mind – seeing as how that's what you've always wanted, is it not?" Amu said, giving him a taunting look. He only stared at her for a few moments before a smiled formed on his lips.
Ikuto chuckled and Amu barely saw the roguish expression that flickered on his face before he reached out, placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her down towards him. Amu felt his lips against her right ear and he heard him whisper, "Then I will not hold back any longer."
The next thing she knew, his lips were on her neck and there was a sharp pain before he pulled away and sat up easily. Amu touched the side of her neck where there was a stinging pain before she realized what Ikuto had done.
"You bit me!"
"I believe the correct term is 'nipped', seeing as how I only grazed your skin with my teeth," he corrected her; not regretting what he had done at all.
Amu glared at the blue haired male and stood up hastily, inevitably making Ikuto's robes fall to the floor.
"I am leaving." She announced and Ikuto gave her a mocking smile.
"You should hide that mark I made, lest people think you were doing indecent things while you were on duty," he said as his eyes sparkled wickedly. Amu blushed furiously as she gritted her teeth and stormed off.
He was worse than before, Amu concluded as she strode forward swiftly and determinedly – but she would not allow herself to give in to him.
-OoO-
Utau sat in her personal quarters in solitude. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her own thoughts buzzing around here and there. Soon, Hinamori Amu would be back from whatever it is she had done and all of her questions would be answered.
She had not meant to see – but she had caught a glimpse of Ikuto as he had left the Royal Temple… but she had also seen him carrying a mass of pink hair. Utau knew that there was only one pink haired person in the whole Palace.
Hinamori Amu.
It bothered her more than she cared to admit. She had been surprised when she had spotted Ikuto, but she had been more shocked to see him together with her aide. A little while ago, she had remembered the time Hinamori Amu had come to her side when she had been running away from meeting her fiancé – Ikuto's expression back then had puzzled her but she had concluded that it was nothing since Ikuto had never even spoken to Hinamori Amu.
But what if she was wrong?
Utau bit her lip as the thought crossed her mind. What if Hinamori Amu had met him without her even realizing it?
How would she treat her then? She had begun to like her just a little bit – but if she had some sort of connection to Ikuto, she might probably end up despising her.
She could deny it as much as she wanted, but it was a fact that she still cared deeply about Ikuto; she still loved him a little more than just a brother. She thought about him frequently together with one other – but she still thought of him nonetheless in the idle time of her usual work days.
Did Ikuto still hate her for having these feelings?
But if he had been getting closer to Hinamori Amu while he had been ignoring her, she could not find it in herself to forgive the pink haired girl so easily.
She could never imagine Ikuto with any woman. She knew he would have many consorts in the future, but she could not imagine him bound to any one girl. He never showed any interest in any specific girl, Utau knew that much. And she had always desperately hoped that he would stay that way the whole time.
Was that why she was scared of knowing the truth?
"Princess? Princess, are you here?" Hinamori's voice calling for her jolted her awake. She took a deep intake of breath and exhaled sharply.
"I am here," she said audibly and she saw her aide's silhouette behind her door. "Enter."
Slowly the door slid open and there she was, looking as neat and prim as she usually did. She bowed down apologetically as she said, "Forgive me for not returning to your side immediately, Princess." Utau could hear the sincerity in her voice and she concluded that she would not dare lie if she asked her the question that had been bothering her all this time.
"Hinamori Amu," she called her attention and Amu straightened herself. "Where have you been all this time?" she asked seriously, her voice slightly betraying the anxiety she felt.
"I was entertaining a guest. Her name was Yuiki Yaya, she introduced herself as the aide of your fiancé, Princess." She replied promptly and Utau knew she was not lying; she had just skilfully avoided stretched the truth. Sure enough, Kukai had already told her beforehand that Reiji's aide wanted to be acquainted with her.
That was what she had probably been doing before she had met Ikuto.
"Were you by chance, at the Royal Temple a while ago?" she asked, knowing that Amu would understand what she was trying to get at with that question. It only led to one person.
Ikuto.
She gazed up at Hinamori Amu from where she was seated and she could not read the expression she wore. Her eyes which were usually a golden color seemed like endless pits in her dimly lit quarters.
"Yes," she answered and Utau could hear the caution in her voice. Utau stood up slowly and circled Amu. When she was directly behind her she asked, "Did you meet my brother there?"
Utau noted how Amu's shoulder's stiffened and she waited for a reply. Amu remained silent for a few minutes before she answered in an emotionless voice.
"Yes. I was feeling quite ill at that time. I had not meant to meet his Highness; I was simply searching for a place to rest. Unexpectedly, I fainted from fatigue and his Highness took it upon himself to take care of me."
Utau didn't know why but she could sense that Amu was holding back a few details. Instead of prying, she chose to ask another question since she did not want to get stuck on a single question.
"Was this the first time you encountered him?"
This was one question that did not excuse lies or half truths. She watched as Hinamori Amu turned to face her with that same unreadable expression. Utau had to squint to see that Amu seemed unfazed by her sudden interrogation session.
"No," she answered in a somewhat tentative tone, as if she was waiting for her to say something important – or to avoid a certain topic.
When that word had escaped her lips, Utau felt like Amu punched her right in her gut. She breathed in through her gritted teeth and calmed herself. She could not lose her temper, especially not in this situation where absolute calm was needed to obtain the answers she needed.
"How often have you been meeting him?"
She chose to ask, hoping that the pink-haired girl would give a definite number in reply.
"I only meet with him when he requests for my company, Princess." She replied in an even tone. She hardly looked embarrassed or regretful. It was still there – that patience in her aura that made Utau think that she understood perfectly why she was doing this.
She bit her lip as her reply registered properly in her mind.
"Requests? Ikuto requests for your company?" she repeated, disbelief evident in her voice.
Amu nodded promptly and said, "Yes." She clasped her hands together in a gesture of ease that began to irritate Utau.
"Why would he ask for your company?" she asked rather sharply and she reminded herself to keep her emotions in check. She could not give away her special feelings for Ikuto.
"That is a question I am unable to answer," she said honestly and Utau knew that wasn't a lie. After all, she had lived with Ikuto all her life and she could never understand completely why he did certain things.
"You have been meeting him in secret?"
The answer was obvious by now, but Utau needed to hear the answer from Amu's lips to believe it was the truth.
"Yes." She spoke unhesitatingly and if Utau had not been trying so hard to keep herself calm, she would have commended her honesty.
"Why aren't you lying to me?" she asked helplessly as she gazed at the young pink haired girl who stood before her. She tilted her head to one side in reply to her question.
She was admitting something that was supposed to be a secret and yet she had made no attempt to lie to her. She did not know of her feelings for Ikuto, but why was she answering like she wanted her to? She continued to be further confused by all of her actions.
"You deserve to know the truth, Princess." She said simply and it made Utau's heart skip a beat.
She knows.
The conclusion struck Utau numb. She knew those words were directed at her feelings for Ikuto. How did she find out? Utau felt the panic rise in her chest and she pushed it back down as Amu continued what she wanted to say.
"I never had any intention of lying to you right from the start. I may stretch the truth at times but I will never say something that is not true. Hence, if you order me to be silent, I shall be silent and if you order me to stop meeting him, I will gladly oblige."
"Why do you assume I would ask you to stop meeting with him?"
She asked nervously as what Amu said began to prove that she really did know about her forbidden feelings. Her answer to this question would prove whether or not she really did know what she was implying with her words.
"Because, you are in love with the First Prince, are you not?"
She said at last and at that, Utau's mental functions slowed down considerably. She felt her mouth open, then close, then open again as she tried to make her voice work properly. It was more shocking to hear her feelings voiced into words by someone other than herself.
"Why… why do you know about that?" she managed to choke out despite the gut wrenching fear in her abdomen.
"It was unfortunate that I had accidentally glimpsed the two of you in the garden the night we had first met." She replied offhandedly.
Utau found herself revisiting that night – it was the night she had ran away from Ikuto… and the night she had first met Kukai. All this time, she had known about her feelings – but why didn't she say anything?
"You… saw that?" she asked carefully, hoping to gain an answer to her question. She could not think properly anymore because of the fear that paralyzed her.
"Yes. And I must apologize." She answered easily without any bite to her reply. She did not seem to think the information she possessed any special – or rather, she seemed not to want to use it against her at all.
Could it be possible that she did not know what hold she now had on her? If she would spill her secret, she would be shunned by the whole society for her inappropriate feelings.
"Why have you kept quiet all this time?" she asked despite her muddled thoughts. She knew she had to hear her answer, or else she would never be able to sleep properly again knowing that she could so easily destroy her.
"Why?" she echoed as a contemplative look crossed her face. "Simply because it is something not meant to be known, am I wrong? I think that if something is better left unknown, it should stay that way. Also, it is not really something for me reveal seeing as how it is not my secret to begin with."
She spoke all of it in a matter-fact-tone, like everything she said was as obvious as the fact that the world was round.
Utau found herself looking at her aide, dumbstruck. She now saw the pink-haired girl in a new light.
Hinamori Amu was a girl with dignity and principles – and Utau had never met someone with such strong belief in her ideals.
Amu gave her a level gaze and said, "I am your aide. I am here to serve you first and foremost. I will always be your ally in whatever you choose to do, Princess Utau."
Again, she said it like it was the obvious. How could she hate her when she was such a person?
"Hinamori Amu!" she called her name audibly. "I…I order you to be my aide for the rest of life!" she continued not really knowing why those words had tumbled out of her mouth. Amu stared at her for a moment before she bowed gracefully.
"I cannot promise you that I can do such definitely," she stated, "but I will do my best to fulfil your order." she added decisively and Utau gave a smile of her own.
She knew at least two things for sure now.
Hinamori Amu was her eternal ally and – she was beginning to become someone she could not do without.
It made her realize that Amu's loyalty to her was what she needed more than her unrequited feelings for her brother. Utau began to accept the fact that maybe it was finally time to let go of all of it and move one with her life – because she knew for sure that she was not alone anymore.
She had a strange boy and his little floating companion – and Hinamori Amu.
That was already more than enough for someone like her. And maybe soon, she would have her older brother back.
-OoO-
Endnote: Gah, if the update is a not as good as the others – blame cheering practice. My body hurts like hell, my arms and legs fell like jelly and I can't even move without one or two of my muscles aching like there's no tomorrow. I just barely finished this chapter after one of the practices. Since my energy was almost zero when I typed this, I expect that it's not as good as the other chapters so forgive me, ne? T^T
On another note, I've just had a brain blast for four news fanfics just recently: two shugo chara fics, one bleach fic and one vampire knight fic. I'm not completely sure which one to do first but the plot ideas of each one are too irresistible so I decided to let you guys decide for me. :D just write your vote in a review since I'm too tired and lazy to do a poll thing. (hmmm, but I'm betting that you guys are going to go for the shugo chara fics aren't you? ^.^)
Special Notes for the Loved and Adored 3
QueenyLeAcH: is my grammar alright now? I might have missed some stuff since I'm really tired and if it's a bit confusing at the last part, tell me okay? I just have a feeling it is.
Kiyonora: Here's more Amuto for you. :)) And about another shugo chara fic – I might just do it. haha, if that's what you guys want anyway. ;DD
Anyway, I can't put too much here due to muscle strain (yes, I'm not lying that it even reached my fingers, the blisters friggin' hurt!) so I'll just ask you to leave me a review if you love me enough. ^.^ I'll be waiting!
See ya!