Testing The Waters
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Chapter 9
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A yawn, deep and jaw-splitting, erupted from my throat. Fogginess clouded my vision, and I blearily blinked away the slumber from my mind, trying registering exactly where I was.
"You're awake." Croaked out a hoarse voice. I blinked up at Makoto, he was sprawled out underneath me, his arms tossed out on either side of him. I was stretched out over him, one hand lain over a pillow, the other thrown across his chest, my cheek smushed against his shoulder. I realized with horror that one of my legs had somehow locked our hips together, hooked over his waist. I laid there, blinking a few times, trying in vain to regain proper thought process. Makoto yawned, but he didn't move either. In the quiet of the morning, I started to drift back asleep, content with cuddling my older cousin.
"Mah," His voice cleared up a bit. "We should get up now." He quietly suggested.
"..Mmm.." I hummed in response, not wanting to talk after waking up so soon.
"Mamo-chan, come on.." He drawled, sounding more awake. "We have to eat breakfast, then get Haru-chan, then go to school."
"..Ugh.." I grumbled. My mood started to dampen. I was already grumpy with the suggestion of getting up. We laid for another 2 minutes, before Makoto started talking again.
"Mamo-"
"Fine." I snapped, hefting myself up. I stretched, my taut muscles cracking in protest. Makoto smiled at me when I blinked around. I rubbed my eyes with closed fists, arching my back and hearing a pop. I rolled my shoulders before slowly getting out of my cousin's bed, Makoto following after.
Not wanting to discuss anything, since I wasn't particularly a morning person, I exited the room in favor of my own.
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School dragged on like usual, but somehow the day seemed a bit better. I'm embarrassed to admit that crying in my cousin's arms had helped lifted some of the weight barring my shoulders. He didn't judge me, only quietly listened and understood. Maybe I could trust Makoto, or maybe I always had. Somehow the familiarity he oozed calmed my nerves, and I realized with incipient resolution I wanted to keep him selfishly to myself. As a stress-reliever of sorts.
With dread, I also realized I was starting to become attached to him. I could feel it, yet despite it's unwanted appearance, I didn't want to stop it.
Only a handful of people I've ever became emotionally attached to, and even then they were starting to dissipate into faded memories. My mother being one, my former best-friend being another. Emotional bonds were hard to form to me. I was detached, priding myself above what I assumed were petty emotions. Friend's were great, but I always thought that after high school, they'd leave - so why would I want to become attached to them? Why would I want to share secrets with them, if in the end they wouldn't even stick around? That's why it was so easy for me to leave them all back in America, because if my feelings really were bound to them, I'd selfishly want to keep them forever if I could.
And that's where reality comes in. I was a firm believer that friends were replaceable. And just as easy as I could replace them, they could reciprocate and do the same to me.
In life, you've got to expect the unexpected, prepare for the worst, and to save yourself the hurt - keep your distance.
Virtually, I was content alone. Who knew me better than myself, anyway? Admittedly, pangs of overwhelming loneliness would wash over occasionally, putting me in a sour mood for days at a time.
For Makoto, the distance was vanishing inch-by-inch and he was becoming dangerously close.
With that, I didn't know if my mood brightened or darkened. Perhaps I should test the waters, see if my trust could really be invested in Makoto? That seemed logical.
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As usual the time for lunch to approach was quick, and I made haste to arrive at the rooftop, where Makoto and his friends were. Feeling oddly enthusiastic that afternoon, I skipped over to Makoto, a grin so wide it was almost blinding.
"Hi everyone!" I beamed, plopping to my usual spot beside Makoto.
"You seem happy today, Mamoru-san." Rei observed with a pleasant smile. I grinned back at him.
"I guess it's because I get to see your lovely face." I returned brightly, not realizing I was indirectly flirting.
"!" Rei adjusted his glasses, trying to obscure his fluster.
"Ehh? Why Rei-chan? What about me, Mamo-chan?!" Nagisa whined indignantly, latching onto me with a pout.
"Only Rei-san!" I looked away with my arms crossed. The color in Rei's cheeks darkened and he continued adjusting his glasses.
"Ehh!" Nagisa exclaimed. Makoto chuckled. Nagisa suddenly turned sly, a sneaky grin on his face. "Hm, I wonder - does Mamo-chan secretly love Rei-chan?!"
I smirked, not bothered in the least. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore!"
"M-Mamoru-san!" Rei interjected bashfully. I looked over at Rei, snatching his hands and staring into his sapphire eyes intensely.
Dramatically, I swooned. "Oh Rei-san, we've been found out! Let us runaway into the forbidden forest together where we will never be found out!" By then he was as red as a tomato and I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. I snorted, the sound resembling a pig as I threw my head back, laughing wildly. Nagisa laughed as well, tossing an arm around my shoulders.
"Ahh.." I sighed with a grin, leaning against Nagisa who did the same. I wiped the tear in my eye, still chuckling to myself. Rei recovered, wiping his glasses clean from the fog that somehow formed on the lens of his spectacles.
"Mamoru-san, please do not tease me." I smiled at Rei's pitiful grumble.
"Sorry, sorry." I waved a dismissive hand. "Rei-san's very cute, I couldn't help myself." He flushed again and Nagisa whined.
"Why does Rei-chan get all your attention!" Makoto chuckled from somewhere behind our ruckus.
"Not true!" I only grinned, peeling myself away from Nagisa in favor of my innocent cousin - to whom I clung to. I stuck my tongue out at Nagisa playfully. "Makoto's the one I love the most!" I blew a raspberry at the blonde childishly, thoroughly enjoying the expression tugging at his face. Makoto's face reddened and he seemed to radiate hopeful surprise.
"M-Mamo-chan-!" He yelped, his eyebrows disappearing behind the hairline green-brown stresses. "D-do you really mean that?"
I had only made the remark in a playful retort to provoke Nagisa, but as I looked up at Makoto's pleasant eyes, I realized with disillusion that I very much did love Makoto. The reassuring ease that flooded me when I was with him was unworldly and comforting. With Makoto around, I didn't feel as sad. A few drawling minutes later, it sunk in that we were not alone, and I still did not answer. The lack of a quick-witted answer had drawn tension, the attention of Haruka, Nagisa and Rei solely focused on what I had to say.
I gulped down the uneasiness, heat creeping up my neck to settle on my cheeks, tinting them -no doubt- in a prominent, very visible red. "I-.." I blinked a few times. "Is it surprising?.." I whispered instead, not at all fond of the attention I was getting. That was more than enough for Makoto as he smiled happily.
"M-Mamo-chan!" He uttered instead. I was suddenly tackled by a fervent Nagisa, causing us to tumble backwards, my grip on Makoto's arm pried away with the force of Nagisa's weight.
"Gah!" I could only managed.
"So cute, Mamo-chan! You're so cute!" The blonde cried, nuzzling his face into my neck.
"Don't call me cute!" I retorted back, my complexion darkening into a deep shade of red. "N-Nagisa!" I tried to squirm away, but the boy hand a strong grip. I heard chuckling, both resonating from my cousin and Rei. I glanced at Haru for help, but even he was assessing my situation with a glaze of amusement in his eyes.
After everyone calmed down, and Nagisa finally released me of his suffocating hug, said boy grinned at me. "Ne~! Mamo-chan should start coming to our swim practices! Next week we're going to compete in a relay!" He exclaimed, his expression a little smug. "I want Mamo-chan to see me in action!"
"That's a great idea," Makoto seconded. "How about it, Mamo-chan? You can cheer us on!"
I blinked a few times. "Huh?"
Nagisa beamed. "Come, come! Mamo-chan you're coming!"
"Mamoru-san should be able to make her own decision, Nagisa-kun." Rei reprimanded. Nagisa pouted in response.
"Uh.." I blinked again. "Sure I guess."
"Yay!" Nagisa sang.
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Gou-..er, Kou Matsuoka was surprisingly stern as a manager. Coaching them individually - more so Rei, on forms, laps, and agility. A woman sat somewhere along the benches, a sun hat and sunglasses obscuring her mature face. She was snoring lightly, seemingly asleep and ignoring her duties as club supervisor. I was only half-glad that the teacher was as laid-back as she appeared, the other half worrying if she was properly suited to her job. Oh well, as long as she wasn't strict. A man, hair gelled and vibrant in color was also coaching them, his raspy voice strong and powerful, surprising me occasionally when I wasn't paying close attention. Ultimately, their training was more hardcore than I expected. Then again, I was a complete novice to the entire swimming world. Ask me about a Spiderlily or how much watering a tomato plant needed and I was your girl, granted what I had picked up observing my mother.
Watching the guys swim was something else entirely, especially Haruka. My eyes zeroed in on his form as he dove, the tips of his fingers dipping in before the rest of his angular body followed in one fluid motion. It was almost mesmerizing, and admittedly I could watch him non-stop if I were allowed too. I barely noticed Nagisa sneaking up on me until he threw his arms around me from behind, leaning heavily on me with a smile. He was panting and soaked from his laps around the pool, his wet skin dampening through the cloth of my uniform.
"Ne, Haru-chan's beautiful, huh?"
"Didn't know you swung that way." I bantered.
"Mamo-chan~!" He whined. "That's not what I meant! Haru-chan's swimming is beautiful, is what I mean!"
I looked over my shoulder, eyeing the boy latched onto me, not bothered by the close proximity. In reality I was merely 3 inches away from his face, his light panting fanning my skin hotly. His eyes were quite the interesting shade. In the light, they almost looked pink. "Maybe," I finally answered with a small, secretive smile. I glanced back at Nagisa. "Hazuki-kun's form is beautiful too." His face started to fill with a warm, peachy color, blood rushing behind the flesh of his cheeks slowly darkening the tint. Before he could add something, I looked back at him in a teasing manner. "Hazuki-kun's breath stinks! Gross." Nagisa's jaw-dropped before he started yelling at me. I laughed as I listened to his complaints, occasionally bickering back.
"Nagisa," Another voice interrupted us. I glanced back, seeing a blank-faced Haruka skidding to a halt. "Your turn."
Nagisa nodded before turning to me. He sent me one last pointed look and I laughed again. Haru stuck around as Nagisa snapped his pink goggles on, diving into the pool. I smiled as I watched him before turning to Haru. Not knowing what to say - seeing as I hadn't exactly had a one-on-one moment with him in the history of ever, I stayed quiet. Eventually, the awkwardness got to a point where I had to say something. Anything.
"You..-" I paused. "Uh.. what's.. up?" I said slowly. I felt his gaze on me, and I looked back at him. We stared at each other for a few moments, until I laughed out of sheer nervous-habit. "Haha... aha.. ha.. -yeah." I ended in an uncomfortable drawl. He was still staring at me mutely, not a flicker of emotion in though cerulean eyes. It was like talking to a rock. Or rather a wall. A white, blank, party-pooper of a wall. I decided to have fun with this, considering he wasn't going to say anything anyway.
"Bonjour! Comment vas-tu?" Nothing. "Holla mi amigo, como-estas?" Nada. I decided to try English. "[Why hello kind sir! How are you today?]" He blinked at me. [I'm sorry, I didn't get that!]" He blinked at me a few more times. I snickered a bit. Alright, I'm done.
"Hey, Haru?" I converted back to Japanese. "Can you say [I like sweaty donkey balls]?" He stared at me in apprehension. "It means 'I am apart of the swim team'." I supplied easily, trying to fight my treacherous smile.
"I likku tsuweti donki barusu." He repeated in butchered English.
By then I was already laughing like a mental patient as you can imagine.
Okay, okay - now, I'm done. Hopefully this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass, and if it did, it'd still be hilarious as fuck. I wiped a tear from my eye, shaking my head at my own humor. I almost felt bad.
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