Impossible Chapter 10

It didn't take long until everyone but Leo had finished their dinner and I saw the impatient look on Mikey's face as he was the one to take care of the dishes today, since Mikey had to take care of the dishes once when he was the last one to put his dishes on the bench I decided it was Leo's turn to see how that feels like. I walked over to Mikey and saw how he focused his eyes on our older brother Leo who was still just staring blankly forward while, he didn't eat much when he was like this but I knew he would snap out of it sooner or later.

"Hey Mikey why don't you just make Leo take care of the dishes? I mean didn't he force you to do that once when we were younger because you were the last one to finish your food?" asked my youngest brother, at first he didn't say anything but after a few seconds he looked at me.

"Well yeah he did but you know master Splinter will get mad at me if I don't take care of the dishes" He finally said but I saw from the look in his eyes that he just wanted to go back to play more of his videogames before we go topside on our patrol.

"Well if Leo doesn't finish any time soon you'll have to wait and I know you don't like to wait" I told him before I walked away.

It didn't take long until I heard Mikey scream for himself that he was going to beat his own high score on one of the videogames he owned, I knew he would listen to what I said and let Leo take care of the dishes.

When I stood in the living room I guess you could call it I looked around and saw Mikey on the couch playing a videogame, Casey and April were talking to each other about what else they were going to do during the summer and Donnie was probably in his own lab again. I decided I should talk to Donnie for a bit, I want to tell someone about my feelings but I have a feeling that if I tell Mikey he won't let me hear the end of it and Splinter? I'm not even sure what he would say and in a way that scared me, I don't want him to tell me that me and Leo can't be like that. If he would say that I don't think I would be able to stay here, knowing that the very person I call father can't accept the feelings I have. And I'm not going to tell April or Casey, reason being that I don't trust them enough to say anything.

So I made my way over to Donnie's lab and when I opened the door I saw Donnie sit in front of his laptop doing something. I'm not sure what he does on his laptop but I'm guessing he's either doing some kind of research or he is watching the pictures of April that he has on his laptop. If you ask me that is a bit creepy if you ask me but then again I can also see why he is watching those pictures so often.

"Hey Donnie, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked him and saw how he moved his gaze from his laptop to look at me.

"Sure Raph, what is it?" He said before he closed his laptop and pointed to one of the chairs for me to sit down on.

I closed the door after me and slowly made my way over to the chair, this is what I like about Donnie. He is always willing to listen to you and no matter what you tell him he'll never look at you any differently. And he is also the one out of the four of us to keep a secret really good. I can keep a secret pretty good as well but I'm not nearly as good as Donnie. Mikey he can keep a secret but it depends on what type of secret it is and Leo is the only one out of us that can't keep a secret.

"Well as you know I'm not really that good at showing my emotions" I started off as I sat down on the chair and Donnie didn't take his eyes off me.

"And the thing is that I have fallen in love with someone and no matter how much I want to say something I just can't. So I don't really know what to do" I finished after a while and at first Donnie didn't say anything, he just looked at me.

"Are you scared that you'll be rejected? Or is it something else that keeps you from saying anything?" Donnie said after a few minutes of silence.

"In a way I am scared of being rejected but I'm also scared it will ruin our family…" I found myself replaying to him, it felt weird talking about this to Donnie but in a way it felt good that someone knew.

"Why would it ruin our family?" Donnie asked me and I saw the confused look on his face, I guess I have to tell him who it is I have a crush on.

"Well because I love Leo…. I actually have for over a year now…" I finally forced myself to tell Donnie, I saw how something in Donnie shifted but he didn't look disgusted or angry in fact he looked happy.

"I don't think you have to worry about Mikey and Splinter in that matter if Leo feels the same. Mikey is like me, he cares about both you and Leo a lot and I don't think he cares if you two would get together. It would just take some time for both of us to get used to it. As for Splinter I don't think he is going to deny the feelings you have towards Leo, he can't really force you not to be with Leo anyway." Donnie said and I knew that in a way he was right. And if Leo meant what he said earlier, if he doesn't feel the same for me nothing is going to change between the two of us.

"Thanks Donnie and can I ask a favor from you?" That question made Donnie look confused again.

"Sure what is it?"

"If Leo tells you that he feels the same for me, can you let me know? That way I think I know a pretty good way to let Leo know my true feelings for him" I said and saw Donnie smile at me in return.

"Sure if you can promise me one thing"

"What?" After hearing he would help me, the least I can do is listen to what he as to say.

"That you'll let me in on that plan or give me some advice to tell Mikey?"

"Of course, have you moved on from April or what?" The question took me by surprise but if Donnie is willing to help me, I'm willing to help him in return.

"You can say I have, I've been pretty clear in letting her know that I love her but she hasn't shown me anything that she feels the same and if you look at the way she acts around Casey. You just know she has a thing for him and not me. Besides I don't feel the way around her I did at first, it sort of faded with time I guess."

"And now you feel like you used to when you're with Mikey?" I asked him but the look on his face told me everything I needed to know.

"Yeah"

I got up from my chair and smiled at my younger brother I walked over to him and petted him on his head.

"Don't worry Donnie since you're going to help me I'm going to help you"

After I told him that he looked up at me and gave me a smile, when I heard Mikey scream at the game because he lost I could help to walk over to the door and open it too look at him. And like always Mikey was on his knees in front of the TV while holding a controller and he screamed at the TV that his life was ruined because he had lost when he was so close to beat his own high score. I couldn't help but laugh at Mikey.

"I'll see ya later Donnie"

"Yeah, later Raph" I heard Donnie replay before I walked out of his lab and closed the door after me.

I didn't really know what else to do so I walked over to the training dummy we have with a helmet on, Mikey put on that helmet to make the dummy look like the Shredder and remembering him saying that to the rest of us while we were so young made me smirk. We all liked the idea back then and even though years have passed we still keep the helmet on it. But I guess none of us took it off because we liked the idea of having our own Shredder dummy in our lair that we could punch and kick whenever we felt like it. But I was still the only one out of the four of us to use it the most, I don't know what it is about punching a dummy when you're angry but it sure makes me feel a lot better afterwards. But right now I didn't punch it because I was angry I was punching it because I didn't know what else to do.

I hope Donnie is right about what he told me or else this whole thing is going to be impossible. Well I won't know until I try, right?

I told myself as I kept punching the old dummy.