Author's Notes: I am so sick right now, so I apologize if the proofreading is a little lackluster. But heeey, how about that Game Bang? They went above and beyond the call of Iancorn and made my Friday night. If all it takes is a wish in my author's notes to get that, I'll be sure to update every Friday with the wish lolol. Warning's wise, this chapter contains hints of prescription drug abuse and glossed over masturbation. And it's also stupidly long. I hope you enjoy, though!
David rushed into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself, leaning against it for a moment. His eyes veered down to the center of his pants and then he looked up at his reflection in the mirror, shaking his head at his sorry state. He was still reeling from the afterglow of orgasm, but the afterglow was ruined by the fact that he couldn't enjoy it. He had to get in here and clean up as quickly as possible before Joshua suspected it was something more than a pee break. He was lucky in that this was 'his bathroom' which meant the hamper contained his dirty clothes, and he could dig around for a spare change in there. How awkward would it have been to go grab some clean jeans and underwear in front of Joshua before declaring he had to pee really bad? Super awkward.
He stripped down quickly and plopped on the toilet to clean up the mess - and what a spectacular mess it was. Ian touched him and he burst, and it was the most sexually exciting experience he ever had, but probably the saddest one from anyone else's perspective. David frowned a little as he ran a moist washcloth between his legs. He hoped Ian didn't think less of him because of it. Here David had been boasting about being far better than Melanie, and he blew his load in a matter of seconds. It was pathetic.
David frowned at the thought, wiping up the last of his mess just in time to hear footsteps outside the door. He froze and listened, and the steps stopped. All was silent for a moment until the bathroom door suddenly opened. David didn't even have any time to cover himself properly, staring at the entrance in rabbit-eyed panic. The culprit who barged in on him was none other than Ian.
"Got a little excited, did you?" He closed the door, amusement in his voice.
"I...er...shut up," David colored, looking away. "What are you doing in here?"
"I came to do my business, but I saw you were hogging up the toilet. Are you done yet?"
"...um yeah. I'm done," David cupped his groin as he rose, even though he didn't know why he bothered. Ian's hand had already been there, so what was he trying to hide? Probably his shame.
Ian took David's place, lifting the toilet seat and unzipping his pants while David dug around in the hamper for yesterday's jeans and boxer briefs. He pulled the undergarments on before stepping into the jeans and drawing them up his hips. Curiosity got the better of him and when he saw Ian standing in front of the toilet with his fly down and dick out, he couldn't help but steal a peek. David could honestly say he had never been attracted to a man's body. Sure, he could appreciate attractiveness in a dude, but as far as what it had to offer, he never had an interest.
Things changed with Ian. A single kiss tipped the balance of his sexuality, and David found himself particularly interested in Ian. What did he look like in his most intimate state? Did he shave down there or was it just as rugged as his beard? Did he have any muscle definition? Was there hair on his chest? How big was he and what did it look like when it was erect? Well, from what David could tell - Ian seemed to be an average size. Not terribly different from his own, except a little bit thicker.
"Are you checking me out?" Ian's question jarred David out of his thoughts.
Crap! He was caught. He looked mortified and then snapped his attention elsewhere, "I don't know what you're talking about..."
"You were checking me out," he smirked - and somehow that smirk made him even more attractive.
"Okay, fine. I was. So what? If you weren't such a sexy beast, maybe I wouldn't have to," if David couldn't escape his crime, the least he could do was joke about it.
He laughed, finishing up and pausing, "Should I leave it hanging out then? So you can get a better look? Maybe do a twirl?"
David's eyes veered down at Ian's crotch before he shook his head in amusement, "Thank you. I have my motivation to jerk off tonight."
"You'll last a little longer by yourself, right?" Ian teased, tucking himself back in his pants before going for the sink to wash his hands.
"Not cool," David tried to keep his tone neutral, but the embarrassment did creep in there. He was ashamed of his complete lack of stamina. "No one's ever touched me before. Hell, no one's ever even kissed me until you. Why are you so interested in me when no one else was?"
"I'm not everyone else. That's why."
The answer was simple, and yet it defined everything about Ian that David liked. He smiled, looking down at his feet for a moment before his eyes veered back up. As soon as Ian was finished washing his hands, David reached out to pull him into a kiss. A completely sober kiss. Without his mind clouded by a haze of drugs, he could focus on the way it felt and how Ian's mouth fit against his own. He could feel the warmth of Ian's body pressed against his and the pressure of Ian's lips returning the kiss. A low sound of enjoyment bubbled up in David's throat and he lingered there until he felt Ian's sleeping member begin to stir.
"We should probably go back. Josh'll start looking for us."
"Let him," Ian went back in and started focusing his attention on David's neck, spreading kisses and light nips along the side of it.
For a moment, all David could do was stand there and let him - feeling the thrill of desire rush throughout and a tingling sensation at the base of his throat. The tingling sensation intensified until there was a slight pain - a pleasant pain, but a pain no less. David inched back and spared a glance at his reflection only to widen his eyes. Right there on his neck was a dime-sized red mark and when he reached up to touch it, he could still feel the moisture of Ian's saliva.
"Did you just give me a hickey?!"
Ian looked at it, "Looks like it. You're welcome." And he went back in for a kiss.
David backed away, though, frowning. "We shouldn't..."
"We should..."
"But, Joshua..."
"...will be happy his two friends are having a good time."
"You really consider us both friends?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Can we make out more?"
David smiled. Warmed that Ian actually cared about them that much. It was disappointing he couldn't give him what he wanted, though. "I'm sorry. We just can't. Not now."
Ian studied him as though gauging whether he could push the boundaries to get David to change his mind. Finally he gave up with a disappointed sigh. "You're such a fucking cock tease."
"Come over tomorrow and I'll make it up to you. I promise," David opened the medicine cabinet, sifting through amber pill bottles in order to get to the bandaids. "Actually, I wanted to ask you...how much is it for some weed?"
"Depends on how much you want..." Ian stepped forward to join David's side.
"I don't know. Whatever you'd recommend..." David was in the process of opening one of the bandages and slapping it on his neck when he noticed Ian reaching into the cabinet to withdraw one of the pill bottles and skim the label.
"Are these yours?" Ian put it back and took out another one.
"...yeah. Why?"
"Tell you what," Ian shook the little bottle in his hand, the pills rattling. "If you can spare the Valium, I'll get you whatever you want - free of charge."
David stared at the bottle. Would his Mom notice it was missing? Considering how many medications were actually in the cabinet, probably not. And considering he only went to the Valium in desperate cases, he wouldn't really miss it either. It was a pretty fair trade. "Sure. Have at it."
Ian closed his fingers around the amber vial and pocketed it, "I'll come by tomorrow, so you better google all you can about blowjobs in the meantime." He winked.
David flushed and his mouth went dry, making it difficult to speak. "R-right." He swallowed his nerves and started for the door. "Are you coming?"
"I'll be there in a few. Gonna rub one out first."
David stared at Ian, not sure if he heard him right. "You're gonna...what?"
"If someone didn't leave me with a case of blueballs, maaybe I wouldn't have to," Ian's reply was simple and snarky. "Of course, you're welcome to stay and watch if you want."
"I...uh...no. Have fun? I guess?" David stepped out of the bathroom with uncertainty, closing the door as he left. He lingered there and listened, hearing the pants drop and Ian's breath grow heavy. He really was doing it! David shook his head and moved away from the bathroom before he got too caught up in listening and became too turned on to go back. Already, a part of him was disappointed he couldn't turn around and join him. It wasn't fair of Ian to prey on his overactive libido like that!
David slowly returned to his room, flashing a brief glance to his bed where a small little wet stain stared back at him in accusation. He walked toward it and casually flipped the bed covers in a way that would hide it before sinking down. Joshua looked up at him by that point, "That was the longest pee ever. Ian even went to look for you."
"Yeah, I ran into him and we were just...talking," David shrugged - trying out Ian's brand of nonchalance, but finding it difficult when he was so fidgety and flustered.
"About anything good? I mean, I don't think I've ever really heard him say more than three sentences at a time. I don't even know what he's really like..."
"It wasn't really anything important," he brushed it off because none of what happened during the conversation could really be shared or elaborated on. "But I think the thing I've figured out about Ian is that you can't figure out Ian. He's different, unpredictable, and not really one for words - but it's those things that while most of the world would find it undesirable, I find it intriguing."
"You got high with him, you said. I don't wanna be some kind of downer, but do you really think that's a good idea?" Joshua turned to him fully and only then noticed the bandaid. "Dude, what happened to your neck?"
David had been about to respond to the first question when Joshua reminded him of the hickey. His fingers went up to brush against the bandaid before he waved it off. "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I just opened the medicine cabinet real quick to get my BuSpar and caught myself in the neck. Stupid me..." he laughed uneasily, waiting to see if Joshua bought it.
He apparently did because he laughed too. "This is why we're friends. You're just as clumsy as me." The smile faded and although David hoped they were done with the original topic, Joshua revisited it. "But seriously - the drugs thing..."
David bit he inside of his lip, shrugging absently, "Here's the way I see it. I'm already on drugs. With all the anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds I have, I could probably start up my own pharmacy. But here's the thing. When I smoked the weed? I felt better than I ever had. The other drugs? They just knocked me out and made me numb. I didn't feel like myself. I mean, I didn't feel anything. I lost half of what made me me and the other half of the time, I was just passed out in bed. The weed didn't do that. I don't plan on trying anything heavier, but I think based on what I felt, I can tell you that it is probably a hundred times better to smoke my anxiety away than it is to take some pill." He moved over to settle beside Joshua with his controller in hand. "But rest assured, I don't plan on doing it before school ever again."
Joshua studied him for a moment before he seemed to accept the answer, "As long as you know what you're doing. I like Ian and everything, but I can't help but think it's smart not to get too close to him."
"You're probably right..." but David liked to think he had control. Even if Ian wasn't the greatest influence, David was consciously making the decision to explore his sexuality with him. If he needed to, he could bail at any point. He was confident in that much.
At least he was pretty sure he was confident.
Fifty percent confident.
Ian returned to the room, and David felt everything inside shoot to life at just the mere sight of him. His heart pounded and embarrassment touched his cheeks at the knowledge of what he had been doing, what they had done, and what they were continuing to do.
...okay, he really wasn't that confident at all.
Ian and Joshua had left before anyone came home, including Kalel which was surprising because David assumed she and Anthony always took advantage of the house being empty. Not that he was complaining. He didn't want to see another confrontation between the two - not while he had been completely sober, but it was still strange nonetheless. Even when she got home before either of their parents, it was without Anthony. She breezed past David with a mumbled greeting and an arm load of books, making her way straight for her room and locking herself in. Soon afterward, his mother arrived home and within a half hour, so had his stepfather. The only other time David saw Kalel was at dinner when they all sat down together. She was quick to eat, dismissing herself from the table and grabbing a Red Bull to go before she vaulted back up the stairs and to her room again.
Dinner didn't last too much longer after that. David was the next to leave his Mom and Kenichi to talk about their day and unwind together in ways he really didn't want to think about. Instead, he went upstairs and played some videogames until he got tired, then he attempted homework before abandoning that in favor of sleep. He went to go to bed only to see the stains from the afternoon - and the new ones on his pillow from where Ian must have wiped his hand off. He shook his head in disgusted amusement, flipping the pillow onto its clean side and dropping it at the head of the bed. The memory of what they did, as well as the thought of Ian pleasuring himself in his bathroom caused a surge of arousal to rise, and so the last thing David did before he went to sleep was fantasize about Ian while he brought himself to climax - this time not in his pants and with plenty of tissues nearby.
He drifted off to sleep shortly afterward, dreaming things that made no sense and he wouldn't even be able to recall upon waking. At one point during the night, though, he woke up immensely thirsty. He tried to swallow enough saliva to sate his dry mouth so he could roll over and continue sleep, but it didn't work. Every time he took a breath, he could feel the uncomfortable sensation of what felt like cotton balls soaking up all the moisture in his mouth and throat. Reluctantly, David left his comfortable bed and grabbed his bedside glass, heading toward his bathroom in order to get some water from the tap.
As he stepped out into the hall, though, he noticed Kalel's light was on in her room. He could hear the light musical sounds of a piano coming from there - a light twinkling of notes played in rapid succession as though chasing each other down the scale. It was one section that she kept playing over and over again after she missed a note or played the wrong one, and the whole thing culminated in frustration as he heard her slam her hands on the keyboard a few times before mumbling 'fuck.'
David lingered where he was, halfway between getting his water and halfway between going to see what was up with her. Not really sure why, he opted for the latter option, figuring if she didn't want to talk, she could just turn him away. He knocked a couple times on her partially opened door to announce himself before he eased it open and caught sight of the whirlwind of a scene. Books were strewn about her floor - open to random pages with half completed piles of homework while her bed was a mess of sheet music. Kalel herself was in her pajamas - sitting on a bench with her keyboard, a little work lamp illuminating the current music she was playing and an energy drink rested on the nightstand nearby. Her hair was a mess, her room was a mess - she was a mess.
David broke the silence, "Hey..."
She looked up at him in surprise, "I didn't wake you up, did I?"
He shook his head, "No. I was gonna go get a drink, but I heard you playing. Is...um...everything okay?"
Kalel reached up to wipe her hand across her brow line - massaging away a headache, "It's fine. I just have a lot riding on this recital next month, that's all." She drew in a deep breath, beginning to play again. "I have the chance to graduate early this year if I can keep my grades up. And Yale University of Music has always been my dream school. I just learned today that they've taken an interest in me after hearing some recordings my piano teacher has sent them. A representative is going to come to my recital and see me play, so I need to find the perfect piece to impress them with."
"Wow, Kalel. That's great! How come you didn't say anything at dinner?"
She looked up at him, pausing her playing mid-measure, "Are you kidding me? My father would only make things worse. You don't know what it's like to live with a Japanese father and to be only half of what he expects from you. Straight A's, perfection all the time, to excel in everything you try...just like Mari." She hit the keys with her palm. "But I'm not Mari. I'm not his fucking perfect daughter. I'm just me. And me is never good enough."
David stared at her as she was lost in her frustration, empathizing with her pain. After all, didn't Matt suffer through a lot of the same treatment? He walked forward, setting his empty glass down so he could settle beside her on the bench and bring his arm around her shoulders, "You're you. And that's good enough for anyone who matters. Like Anthony. Like me. There's no such thing as perfect. The only thing we can strive to be is perfectly imperfect..."
Kalel stared at him for a lingering moment before her expression warmed over and she lightly nudged him with her shoulder. "Thanks."
"No problem," he met her gaze and then glanced off to the sheet music. It was a bunch of jibberish to him - like a crazy game of connect the dots on speed.
He debated telling her about Matt and how similar their situations were, but he decided not to. It might complicate things and give her a malice toward his mother to go along with her mild resentment - the same type of resentment he felt toward her father, so he didn't blame her for it. Instead, he did his part to keep things as normal as possible, as normal as they were at the moment. David watched as her jittery, shaking fingers found the keys again and she attempted to control them enough to play a song. He chewed on the inside of his lip before he got up with the announcement: "Hang on. I have something for you..."
David grabbed his glass, heading into the bathroom. He turned on the tap and got himself some water before setting it aside so he could sift through his medicine cabinet. His fingers skimmed the labels before he found what he was searching for, heading back toward Kalel's room. David nudged open the door with his foot and set the amber bottle down in front of her. She looked at it and then up at him as though he was crazy.
"It's Ativan. Perfect for short term anxiety - like the stress of your performance. I stopped using it because my anxiety was more of a long term thing so I needed something I could take daily. But when I did take it, it worked wonders."
"Is it safe...?" She took the vial in her hands, inspecting it.
"I don't think they'd prescribe it if it wasn't, right? I mean, your father works in the field so he should know..."
Kalel remained skeptical, but eventually she caved - opening the lid and placing a pill in her mouth before washing it down with the rest of her Red Bull. She wiped her hand across the back of her mouth and looked up at him with a tiny, appreciative smile. He smiled back, giving her another half hug before he took his water and headed toward the door.
"Try to get some sleep, alright?"
Kalel nodded, "I will. I'm just gonna bang this out one last time, and then I'll hit the sack. Do you want a ride with Anthony and me tomorrow?"
"Oh...thanks, but...I'm pretty sure Ian's gonna come grab me."
Her lips pinched down in disappointment, "I saw you hanging out with Jesse Haegler today. I think he would be much better for you."
"For my reputation? Maybe. For me personally? Not at all. Ian's the one thing that makes sense, that makes me feel something."
"I just..." Kalel trailed off, frowning, before she shook her head and dismissed the topic. "Nevermind. Sleep well, David..."
David wanted to know what she was about to say, but the way she turned back to her keyboard and started to lightly play the melody again gave a finality to the conversation. Chipping away at her and asking for something she didn't want to answer would only damage what they built up between them just now, so David left it as it was, wishing her a good night as well, before downing his water and heading back to his bedroom.