"I'm sorry" the young man repeated. "You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll just tell everyone that you broke up with me, and they'll believe it." He gave her an apologetic smile, shrugged and walked past her.

Chapter Ten

Hermione was still startled by Pansy's accusations. Hadn't she been staying away from Draco enough for the past week? She hadn't even talked to him during their nightly patrols, though she was sometimes tempted to start a conversation with him, which would most certainly turn into one of their play-fights.

"Hey, what are you thinking of?" Seamus asked her softly, and she wished that she could tell him, but this was something she had to deal with alone.

"What could I possibly be thinking of?" she said instead. "Not like anything interesting just happened." She smiled at him, and stroked his hair.

"I'll walk you to your next class. I'll see you later, I'll be in the common room."

"Thank you" Hermione smiled.

He smiled back at her, but at the same time was in a hurry to leave. He had received another letter from his parents this morning. His day certainly wasn't getting any better, and he could feel the pressure building up in his chest. He simply couldn't explain this to Hermione, she wouldn't understand.

Making sure that no one was in the dorm, he sat down on his bed and retrieved the letter from his bag. It had felt as if it had been getting heavier over the course of the day, which of course was insane. With shaking hands, he opened it slowly and read.

It exceeded his worst expectations by far. His father had been arrested for excessive drinking and had tried to attack his wife, who had of course used magic to defend herself. As a result, they were telling him not to bother coming home for Christmas, which had been his initial plan. It would have been a perfect opportunity to fix things.

Why him? It wasn't really his fault, was it? Though it was true that his parents had never really had a fight before he had started going to Hogwarts… Maybe it was because of him. He was the reason his parents' marriage was falling apart.

The young man looked down at the piece of paper he was holding, and closed his first around it. He could feel the sharp edges digging into his palm, and he closed his eyes and ran his other hand over his face. He had to remember all the good things now, it was important he didn't get immersed in all of his failures.

He tried to picture Hermione, her smile and her laughter, but it all seemed so distant. Without being able to stop himself, he reached under his bed and found the removable wooden plank. The only thing that felt real at the moment was the smooth surface of the glass bottle in his hand, and the heavy weight of accusation on his shoulders.

Taking a deep swig out of the bottle, he knew that he would not be able to restrain himself, but it didn't matter. He would probably be asleep by the time Hermione came back, and he would tell her about everything the next morning. That was how it worked.

But it wasn't just Seamus who was having a bad day. Draco was trying to relax in the common room after the scene Pansy had just caused in front of the whole class. And then to expect him to do anything about it, yeah right. That was what her look had meant, wasn't it?

The young man closed his eyes and sank deeper into the cushions of his favourite sofa, knowing that he would have to talk to her sooner or later.

'Rather later than sooner' he thought before drifting off to sleep. He was surprised to wake up a few hours later; a look through one of the large windows told him that the sun was already setting. He closed his eyes once again, ready to enjoy the fact that he had just woken up and that he was lying on a comfortable sofa when he heard her voice. Opening a sleepy eye, he found her standing in front of him, her arms crossed.

"How could you do that? That bookworm had all of her boyfriends running after her to protect her, and what do you do?"

Draco blinked and tried to focus his attention on Pansy. What exactly was she talking about? Then he remembered, and his initial good mood vanished.

"Why do you have to bring that up now?" he asked, and tried getting up.

"Is that all you have to say to me? Oh no you're staying here. We are going to talk this through, and you will not leave until I'm done." She pushed him back onto the sofa, and Draco, who had not been expecting such roughness from her, did nothing to stop her.

"Alright then, if that's what you want" he finally said, after she had been staring at him for longer than just a moment.

"How could you do that? I thought you'd be there for me" Pansy whispered, and Draco looked up at her to discover tears glistening in her eyes. That was definitely nothing he was ready to deal with; he hadn't even realized that it meant that much to her.

He scratched his head and opened his mouth. "Uhm…" he started, but could think of nothing to say. His eyes flitted across the room, while he was trying to look for something that might distract her and buy him some more time, but there was absolutely nothing there.

"Why can't you just admit that you should've done something today? And then you didn't even come looking for me to talk about it. I was waiting."

"I fell asleep…" was all he managed, definitely feeling uncomfortable now. She was supposed to be there for him when he needed comfort, not the other way round. He was a Malfoy and had a right to that. Though he hadn't needed her in the past few weeks because it felt to him as if he was looking for something else, she could not expect him to stand up for anything she stood in for. Hadn't he been clear enough?

"Why are you so selfish?" she shrieked.

"Haven't you noticed? It's who I am."

"Why are you trying so hard to be like your father?"

Draco froze. She had no idea what she was saying. This was well beyond her. His father was a shadow in his mind, constantly lurking in the corners of his consciousness, forcing him to do things he wasn't ready to do. But that was how he had been brought up.

He was about to answer her when her expression suddenly changed.

"Forget it Draco. I thought… Well, to say that you were different from that would be a lie. But I thought you might change, just a little, just for… me. Guess I was wrong."

She turned to leave, but at that moment Draco found his voice.

"Pansy… Wait." It took all of his self-control to keep his voice even.

She faced him once again, he could see the insane hope shimmering in her eyes, behind all of the hurt and tears. This might be his chance to make it better for her.

But he knew he couldn't do that. He knew that deep inside, he was too selfish to do anything that caused him too much discomfort.

She stared at him for a long moment, and he was trying to think of something that would make it easier.

"Don't take this too hard. Don't worry, you'll get there in the end."

Pansy simply looked at him, as if trying to take in what he was trying to tell her. Then she sneered, and Draco knew that she had understood.

"This is not the end" she threatened. "I'll find her, and I'll show her, whoever she is. She will not take you away from me." With those words, she stormed off.

It was Draco's turn to gape at her. She really thought that this was about another girl?

Ridiculous.

The young Slytherin got up and slowly made his way through the common room. It wasn't too late yet for him to be out and about since he was a Prefect, and he needed to clear his head.

He aimlessly walked through the corridors and reached the Moving Staircase, where he looked down. A few stories below him, Hermione was walking in an opposite direction.

'What's Granger up to now?' he wondered, and decided to follow her. She might distract him from the conversation he just had with Pansy, and her last words for him.

Some other girl. Yeah right.