Disclaimer: Own this, I do not.
X. Remorseful
Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid
There were not enough ways to call myself a stupid, stupid, stupid alchemy geek who is so small that he needs a ladder to see an ant face to face. Maybe I should go get a wrench and slam it against my skull too. Hell! I should get myself beaten to a pulp just for how stupid I am!
She was right there. She even hugged me! If I had been brave enough, I would've returned the embrace and told her… What would I have told her? Just the thought of it made my insides quiver. There was nothing I could tell her that would make the situation any different. I still had to defeat the maniac threatening Amestris, and I still had to close the portal. I still had to fight to protect her. Nowadays, when I think about that day, I can be honest to myself: Seeing Al in his human body again was a relief, and knowing the world hadn't been destroyed by Dante was amazingly satisfying, but nothing compared to the feeling of seeing her again. It felt…I felt…full. Full and warm.
I had wanted to see her again. I had wished to hear her voice again. I had dreamt about her almost every night I had been in the other side of the Gate. And now, there she was. Winry was looking at me with her teary blue eyes, and there was nothing I could say to change what I had to do. So I said nothing. I didn't hug her back, though I was burning to do it. I didn't ask her to wait for me, 'cause I knew it wasn't fair.
It wasn't until I was back in this alchemy-free world behind the Gate, that I realized her earrings were in my pocket. She had known I would leave again, and had given me something to remember her by. She had given me a token of her love. For, now I could admit to myself, I was in love with her and knew she loved me back. We both knew, so we didn't need words. Nothing we could say would change anything. I was too stupid.
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