Lost Souls 10
PPOV
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" I shouted at Emily before bolting out the door chasing after Spencer. "SPENCER!" I shouted crashing after her. "SPENCE!" I cried desperately. I kept running trying to catch her, but damn she was fast. It didn't take long until I had to stop panting for breath from the strenuous running. I searched around for an hour before heading back to the cabin to make sure she didn't circle back and go hide in her room.
"Did you find her?" Aria asked when I crashed back through the door. I shook my head and bolted up the steps running to our room. Frantically I looked around making sure that all of her belongings were still here. Satisfied that nothing had been taken I ran back out the house and got in my kayak that was tied off to the side of the cabin. I pushed the kayak into the water before jumping in and pushing off the dock. I stayed near the edge, hoping to catch a glimpse of her through the trees. It wasn't until I came all the way to the other end of the lake did I see her sitting there. She looked so peaceful sitting there on the log, her eyes were closed and her feet kicked gently in the water. I paddled up quietly up to her stop and stilled a few feet away from her.
It's hard to say if she saw me or not, or even heard me come up. Her eyes stayed closed and she didn't move or open them. Gently I crawled out of the small boat with a small splash as I got in the water, and I saw Spencer open her eyes. I pulled my kayak up onto the sand and slowly made my way towards her. I sat down on the log next to her and took her hand in mine, slowly rubbing my thumb across her palm when she didn't pull away from me. I tugged her hand and pulled her closer to me, Spencer welcomed the embrace and buried her face into my chest. I threaded my hands through her hair, and brought one hand to cup her face, where i rubbed circles with my thumb over her cheek.
"I promised you that you'd never have to go back. And I will keep that promise." I said quietly. Spencer smiled at me, a small smile that if I had blinked I would have missed it.
"I know Paige." She said quietly. We sat in silence in the sunlight for what felt like hours, snuggled into each others side before she spoke again. "How did she know?"
"Emily's not dumb. She's smart, perceptive, she probably put all the pieces together. But she won't say anything, she knows better." I looked to Spencer's face and I could see the contemplation of insecurity across her face. I slipped my hand into her's and slowly traced circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. "But you know, I'm sure Mel won't say anything either."
"I know she won't, she know's that if she does see me, and if she tells I'll run for real and never look back." Spencer said quietly.
"I'm not saying give an answer now, give it another week and just think about it? We can even buy a bogus phone from Wal-mart and you can *67 it and call. Untraceable, and she knows you're alive at least." After most of the day went by, and the sun started to set I convinced Spencer to climb into the kayak so we could make our way back to the cabin.
"This is not safe. At all. This is deadly, we could die." Spencer rambled as she sat on top of the kayak as I sat inside and paddled.
"Will you relax? Plus you said you knew how to swim! And so long as you stay centered we won't tip and you won't end up in the water." I laughed. Spencer whipped her head around to glare at me, regretting the decision as the kayak rocked unsteadily. She let out a shrill shriek and gripped onto the ropes tighter.
"I'm going to die."
"You are such a drama queen!" I laughed, "You're not going to die, we'll be there in like two minutes." I paddled right up to the dock, which Spencer made a mad scramble for, laying on the dock hugging the ground. "Alright your highness, I don't know about you but I'm starving." I laughed after I tied the boat up and held a hand out to Spencer, which she grabbed as I hoisted her up. I slung my arm around her waist and we walked slowly and quietly up to the cabin. When we went inside the girls were sitting on the couch, each with a beverage in hand and all stood up when we came in.
"Jesus Christ you've been gone all day! Where the fuck were you?!" Hannah yelled, breaking the silence.
"Hannah!" Emily yelled effectively shutting the blonde up. Hannah turned and sat back down on the couch. "Look, Spence. I'm sorry. Its just- seeing Mel like this is heart breaking, all she needs is a phone call or a postcard, she doesn't know if your dead or not and I can't take any pain away. She calls me every night crying her eyes out because she thinks she's the reason that you left. She's blaming herself for your disappearance and…" Emily was crying, tears streaming unashamedly down her face as she explained her reasoning. I looked to Spencer and she looked down, ashamed of hearing what Emily was saying. I gave her hand a comforting squeeze, before making my way to Emily and hugging her tightly. Emily broke down in my arms, and I held her, shushing her calmly as I rocked her back and fourth. I looked over to Spencer and motioned with my head for her to come closer. She did, and wrapped her arms around Emily before pressing a light kiss to the top of her head.
"Okay Em. I'll call her, but don't tell her anything. Don't bring her here. Just… I'll take care of it. I promise. Just give me some time." Spencer said, her own voice shaking. Emily nodded, pulling away from me before crushing Spencer in a bigger hug. After a few minutes of quiet, everyone was interrupted by a loud grumbling noise that came from my stomach. I looked up sheepishly at the faces that were staring back at me before everyone started laughing. I was thankful for the comedic break. Aria stood up wiping tears from her eyes, grabbing my arm.
"Alright Paigey, you're gonna help me make dinner." I chuckled as I stood up and followed Aria to the kitchen. She gave me pointed instructions on what to grab and what to chop as she moved fluidly around me throwing things here and there as I worked diligently as to not cut myself with a knife. Soon the kitchen was filled with a wonderful aroma that caused my stomach to growl loudly again as i swiped a piece of chicken from the plate Aria had set them on as she cut the chicken breast into strips, and I popped a piping hot piece in my mouth, before making a funny face, as it was to hot to handle. I heard laughter and I turned around to see Spencer giggling at me, as I had started to do a little dance to try and relieve the pain in my mouth. I grimaced as I swallowed before making a huge deal out of sucking large amounts of air in my mouth to cool it off.
"I phink i burn mah tongue." I said, sticking the throbbing appendage out of my mouth. Spencer just came over to me and pressed a small kiss to my lips, before pulling back.
"You're to cute for your own good." She whispered against my lips, before I pulled her back in for another searing kiss.
"Guys, quit sucking face we are trying to eat right here." Aria said. I pulled back with a small smile before going to grab my plate of food, setting it down next to where Spencer seated herself, before going to grab her plate as well. I set it down in front of her, and she turned to place a kiss to my lips in appreciation before we al began eating. Dinner was filled with small talk and sounds of forks on ceramic as Spencer and I polished off two plates each, in amazement to the other girls. After dinner, Spencer and Hannah did the dishes as Emily and I put the remaining food away in the refrigerator.
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"I don't want you to go just yet." Spencer whined as she clutch my shirt in her hand tighter and snuggled in closer. We were laying in the hammock that was outside, enjoying the weather before I had to drive back to Rosewood.
"I don't want to go either." I admitted
"Then stay." She said sleepily.
"Okay." I relented. "Ten more minutes." We've been playing this game for the past two hours and it was getting later and later in the day. My dad had already called twice asking me when I was coming home, each time I told him in a while.
"Paige?" Spencer asked a while later. I hummed in response to let her know I heard her, "I love you." She said quietly. I smiled to myself, it was the first time either of us had said those words since we started dating, sure we've said it before that, but once we started dating we stopped. Spencer shifted in the hammock to look up at me, a small smile creeping up her lips when she saw mine.
"I love you to Spence." I whispered back to her, before leaning over and pressing a small kiss to her lips. She hummed in response, pulling back and laying back down half on top of me in the hammock. "Was that your way of getting me to stay longer?" I asked after a few minutes.
"Why is it working?" She said back, her voice full of sass.
"Yes." I said, before grabbing a hold of her tightly and tickling her sides. Spencer laughed and thrashed side to side, to try and escape, but failed miserably. With Spencer's violent movements we ended up swinging the hammock and it tipped us both out, sending us crashing to the ground in a fit of laughter.
"Just come back soon." Spencer said.
"I will." I promised. Spencer and I got up and we made our way to my already packed up car. "I'll call you later on okay?" She nodded, hugging me before we said goodbye again and I drove off home.
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"Paige!" A loud voice startled me, I had just gotten home and was about to open my front door, when I heard my name, startling me and causing me to drop my keys. I turned around and saw Melissa running up to me crying. "She called. She's alive, she's- she-" Mel broke down before she got to me and I rushed over to her side, holding her up right.
"Mel slow down, who called Spencer?" I played along.
"Yes I just got off the phone- she's fine. She's in California she's okay."
"California? Did she say where?" Melissa shook her head.
"No, she said she's fine, but that she's not coming home and that she'll call me once in a while so that I know she's okay."
"Me, that's fantastic!" I exclaimed.
"But she's not coming home!" She argued.
"Baby steps Mel. We need to take baby steps. Rushing to her and trying to get her to come back is only going to drive her further." I said. Melissa nodded and took a shaky breath. A car horn honked and we both turned around and saw Emily in the car. She stepped out and Melissa grabbed my arm and dragged me over to her.
"Paige, I'd like you to meet my friend Emily." She introduced us. I raised an eyebrow at Emily, and she shrugged faintly.
"Paigey." She greeted.
"Emmy." I smiled back. Melissa gave us both an odd look before we broke out into smiles and I moved foreword to hug her. "Long time no see Ems." I said as Emily laughed.
"I know it's been years. How have you been?" Emily said playing along.
"Eh you know, same old same old."
"Ummm." Melissa said, cutting our fake conversation short. "You two know each other?"
"Paige used to live a few houses away from me when we were growing up, I used to babysit her actually."
"Umm, officially yes, but i distinctly remember babysitting you guys a hell of a lot more. You and you're friends were always getting in trouble. How are they by the way?" I asked.
"I don't know, I haven't seen them much either." She said. I nodded.
"Well, I gotta go, I've been gone all weekend and my dad wants to have dinner tonight. I will see you guys later. And Mel, remember baby steps." I gave them both hugs whispering 'we're going to talk later' in Emily's ear. She nodded lightly, and pulled Melissa away. I went inside and closed the door, calling out that I was home only to get no response. I shrugged it off and made my way upstairs to my room, grabbing a change of clothes and a towel and headed over to my bathroom. After I showered I changed into a nicer set of clothes, opting for khaki shorts with a dark brown belt and a peach colored no sleeve button up, with a white tank top underneath.
"You ready?" A deep voice startled me, causing me to drop my phone to the ground. "Oh jeez, sweetie, I'm sorry i didn't mean to scare you. I thought you heard me coming." I picked up my phone and smiled at him.
"Guess you're still as stealthy as ever." I said. He smiled and held a hand out to me. I followed towards him, he had on black slacks with a bright yellow polo shirt on. His hair was clean and cut and he shaved off the scruff on his face. "You clean up nice." I commented as I walked passed him. I made my way to the front door when he stopped me.
"I got you a present." He said. I quirked an eyebrow at him and he pulled a slim long velvety bow out of his pocket. He opened it to reveal a a slim diamond necklace with sapphire accents. I gasped at it, looking up at my dad and he smiled. "I want you to know how much I love you. I know I'm not the best, hell I should be categorized with the worst. But this is my way of showing it to you." He said. He moved to he was behind me and clasped the necklace around my neck, before kissing the top of my head. "You look so beautiful sweetie." He whispered. I turned to the mirror that was on the wall and looked at my reflection. The diamonds sparkled off my pale skin, and the sapphires popped in contrast. I looked to the picture hanging on the wall, and gasped a little. I was the spitting image of my mother. Now that I've grown up, I was looking more and more like her with each passing day. The bruises on my face almost non existent as well as the ones on my neck. The ones on my sides slowly but surely fading away. I smiled despite the dull ache that settled in my chest that usually comes whenever I think about my mother.
I'm keeping my promise Mom. He's getting better. I said to myself as my dad lead me out of the house and to his car. We drove out to Philly to some extensive french restaurant which my dad spoke perfect french too. I smiled, admiring his ability to do so. He ordered everything for us, and even let me drink champagne with him, saying one glass won't kill me, which ended up turning into three on my part. By the time we were finished, I had a nice light buzz as we drove home.
"So, do you want to watch a movie tonight?" He asked once we were on the freeway.
"Did you have any particular movie in mind?" I asked. He hummed, and scratched his chin as he thought about it.
"Not really, but how about a comedy?" I agreed and we decided that we'd look over our movie selection at home. Once there, instead of changing into comfortable clothes, we sat right down at the tv and decided on the Hangover. My dad put the disc in and then sat down right next to me, our thighs touching and he threw his arm over my shoulders and pulled me closer. we sat like the the whole time, as he absentmindedly played with my hair and occasionally kissed the top of my head. We laughed along with the movie and at the end, he hugged me and told me goodnight. I smiled and made my way to my room, It looks like everything is coming together.
It's been a long time since I've laid in my own bed and smiled myself to sleep, with no trace of pain in my body or mind. A little while later i heard my bedroom door open and I pretended to be sleeping. I felt my bed dip and my dad shook my shoulder gently. I could smell alcohol and I froze.
"Honey wake up, drink this water, it'll help your head in the morning." He moved to pick my head up and I drank the water, pretending to be half asleep as he lay me back on the bed. "Atta girl." He said as he stroked the side of my face with the back of his hand. I groaned and rolled over, trying to get away from the smell of vodka and curled up on my side. A little bit later he left and I waited until I couldn't hear his footsteps anymore before I let out the shaky breath that I had been holding. I was wide awake now, but the longer I lay there, the heavier my eyelids felt. I tried to sit up and rub them, but they just got heavier and heavier. what the hell. I asked myself. I lay back down, unable to keep myself upright. There was a light knock on my door and i saw a blurry stream of light.
"Lor?" A deep voice came.
"Dad? Whats happening?" I asked. However my words were slurred and mumbled together. He came over and shushed me. Pulling the blankets away and laying me down flat.
"Shhh, it's okay. you're burning up." He said as he pulled my shirt over my head. I could barely see his face, let alone keep my eyes open. He pulled my shorts off as he kept one hand on my stomach. "You're burning up Lor. It's okay, everything will be okay, just sleep." He lulled. I nodded, following his instructions as he blew cold tuffs of air along my exposed abdomen. Before I knew it, everything went black.
My head was pounding and my body ached in ways that weren't pleasant. It was a different kind of ache, one that I've never had before and I couldn't place it. I opened my eyes, only to shut them again at the blinding light that filled my senses, causing me to groan in pain. I threw the bed sheet off of myself once I was okay with the light in the room, only to find myself naked under the covers. I stopped and tried to remember what happened last night. Dad and I went to dinner. We watched a movie. I went to bed. He came in and gave me water. Then he said I was burning up... I scooted over on the bed and went to stand up, but my legs were like jelly, and couldn't support my weight. I sighed and turned back to look at my bed and gasped. Tears spilling over my eyes at the blood stain that was on my bed. Along with other white creamy stains that made my stomach lurch. I fell off of the bed, trying to breath but failing miserably. No. no nononononono. it was supposed to be Spencer. It was supposed to be with her. I can't ever give this to her now. I- I'm worthless