I am ZIM!

I just remembered to call my Tallest to let them know how I was doing. I peeled off the lenses and ripped off my wig.

The screen finally worked and showed my leaders. "Hey! My Tallest!"

"What is it this time, Zim?" said Red.

I was trying to think of something to say, but I managed not to embarrass myself: "It appears that a hyoo-man has fallen in love with Ziiiiiiiiiimmm,"

My Tallest burst out laughing. Purple asked after he was finished, "How could a stupid human bitch fall for you?"

"Apparently, she could not resist the temptations of ZIM," I replied.

They just laughed harder at this. "Hey, we'll call you back, Zim!" said Red.

"But, wait!" I cried. They hung up anyway.

"Hmp, no matter; I was just going to say that I have chosen to not like her. It is the wrong way of nature; she is not of the Irken race. And Zim shall never stoop to that low of a level. When I destroy the planet, I will have no mercy on her just as the rest of the human worms that live on this filthy world. And yet I still wonder why she finds interest in me." I started pacing back and forth, "and besides, what is there to her? I admit, she isn't the ugliest human on this planet, and isn't the dumbest, and... She never backs down without a fight; she never gives up and always toughs out every obstacle that is put in front of her. As far as I know, she has no shame and cares nothing about her record on this world (which probably already isn't that spotless). The girl isn't dumb, I know that: she is almost as intelligent as my Tallest and could never be killed without catching a nasty scar myself. She is a good protector to the ones she loves and would be amazing if she was Irken herself and just disguised as a pure human, almost like Tak. If I was truly human, I would make her my, ugh, best friend for protection to myself and my belongings. And I can always swear that there's something that she's hiding form me. But she is human and I am Irken; nothing to it. Why am I still even talking about this crap? I don't like her and yet I can't stop talking... Is this denial? Am I REALLY in love with a pathetic human?"

I felt like I was going to lose it. Do I really like her?

No.

I refuse to.

I sat on the couch and flicked on the TV. Gir left the channel on the Angry Monkey Show.

That show has no taste in talent whatsoever.

But I didn't really care at all. I just wanted to know how I really feel...

I heard the doorbell again. Was Delilah already done with Gir? It was only about an hour.

I didn't bother to put my disguise on and opened the door. "What's it like having a crush, space kid?"

Dammit, it was Dib.

I was already bored with this crap, "What do ya want with me today, worm?"

"It's fine! I don't have any cameras on me today! I just want to know how love works on your planet."

I growled, "And WHY would you want to know that?"

Dib looked at me all innocently and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine," I gave in, "If you are dying to know so badly, I do think Delilah has had eyes for me; she's been flirting since the first day she was here, actually."

"What? You think I don't know that? YOU are the one that STOLE her!"

"Wha'?"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you! I was about to be in HER performance but she thought of YOU first! It's all your FAULT, you space JERK! Now I have to watch YOU be in the talent show with her! Do you have ANY IDEA how pissed off I am at you!" He shoved me back into my house. That really ticked me off.

"What are you talking about? She wanted Gir, not me!" I retorted quickly. "Where do you think Gir is now, huh?"

Dib was still pissed, but he replied, "Fine, jerk." He stalked away from the door.

Something told me that this wasn't the last time I'd fight Dib for Dare.