Stamping on Butterflies
Chapter 10
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he doesn't exist." - The Usual Suspects
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller
!
For my first day as a genin I decided to dress casually with a pair of black Ninja pants and a grey tanktop. However, I felt that as a hyuuga I should at least have a little bit of class and so pulled a dark blue blazer out from the bottom of my chest of draws. I placed my hair in its usual up-down style with the ribbon that had been graced to me by my brother all those years ago. With my new ninja headband I put it around my neck so that the metal plate sat comfortably in the grove of my collarbone and the knot at the back perfectly hid my curseseal. With both my hair and my headband someone would have a lot of difficulty discovering that particular deep, dark secret imprinted on my skin.
Then I set off for the first time into the real world of shinobi.
I met Yoda at the practise field and we made our way over to the Hokage tower together.
"No training today then?" I asked the teen curiously.
"Not today," replied Yoda in his usual matter-of-fact tone. "Ibiki asked that you and I report to him as soon as we are able."
When we reached the tower we headed into the deep recesses of the building and into the T&I unit. Once we had unlocked the seal and passed the security check we headed to Ibiki's office. We found him in a mountain of paper work and grumbling over how useless his assistants were. When we entered the room he put down his pen and leaned back in his chair.
"Congratulation Nanami, you are now a genin. I will be your official Jonin-sensei, but because you've been placed in a particular unit, things are going to run a little differently than they might usually. Right so as you are both now an official team you each need to have a simple medical examination to make sure you are completely fit and able to be a shinobi for the torture and interrogation unit," said Ibiki casually. "Yoda if you go down the hall and the third door on the left. Nanami you'll have to go over to the general hospital for your check up."
"What? why?"
"I don't know; don't ask stupid questions or you'll never go far in this unit. It's a request from your clan, so we have to follow it." Ibiki dismissed us so that we could go and get the check over and done with. So I left the Hokage tower and made my way to Konoha's hospital.
I entered the building and approached the front desk. They immediately pointed me down the hall and instructed me to wait outside examination room 38. So I did just that. Hardly five minutes later I heard a shout from the other side of the said door for me to go in.
"Nanami. How are you?" asked a familiar deep voice as I walked into the room. Mikata hadn't changed in the slightest over the last few years apart from a few more grey hairs and worry lines, but his stoic composure and professional atmosphere were the same. I smiled up at the man genuinely.
"I'm not too bad. And yourself?" I asked the medic as I jumped up and sat on the bed he was gesturing to.
"As well as an old man can be," said the man as he began to check me over with medical ninjutsu.
"You're hardly that old Mikata-sama," I commented lightly.
"Hmm," he replied with a disinterested air. He continued on the rest of the examination in silence as he concentrated fully on his work. It was an hour of tedious weight and height checks as well as some blood tests and even a pregnancy test.
"You know I haven't even hit puberty yet, right?" I asked the man laughingly.
He glanced at me with amusement. "Are you sure you are your father's daughter? Hizashi doesn't have a sense of humour."
"I think Neji was the one who picked up that particular attribute," I commented with a found smile.
He jotted down some notes and then paused. His hesitance caught my attention and I was immediately on edge. "There is one last thing I have to do," mumbled the medic with a look of distaste.
"What do you need to do?" I asked him lightly despite the fact I had a feeling I knew the answer.
"Because of your difficulty with chakra manipulation I need to check that the placement of the seal hasn't had any long term effects on your chakra coils." He moved to stand behind me and instructed me to lift up my hair. I did what he said but when Mikata didn't do anything for a few moments I turned to him questioningly. When I caught sight of the dark look fixated on my back I understood.
"It's alright," I told him gently.
"To inflict the caged bird-seal on his own daughter… I cannot even comprehend the idea," he said mostly to himself. His voice was gentle but with underlying anger. He cared about Hizashi and despaired as he watched him make the wrong choices for the 'good of his clan'. "Hizashi hated the Hyuuga clan for what they did to him. His bitterness could rival even an Uchiha's. He told me how he was ready to die for his brother but they were even able to take that freedom away from him." Mikata shook his head as if trying to dislodge a particularly unpleasant memory.
There was a heavy silence in the room as Mikata looked over the seal and then my chakra coils with a medical eye. I could feel his disapproval at the curse seal practically rolling off of him but he said no more on the subject and I didn't question him.
"You have gotten better with your chakra," he noted as he turned and wrote his findings down on a clipboard. "That is all you are needed for."
I bowed to the elder man respectfully and thanked him for all his help.
"I will be your doctor from now on if you are submitted to hospital. I hope I do not see you often," said the man dryly. I cracked a hesitant smile and waved him goodbye.
I think I liked Mikata; I could tell he was a good man.
!
As soon as I left Mikata I went back to find Ibiki. I almost wished I hadn't.
Yoda and I were instructed to fill out some paper work – and when I say some I mean a hell of a lot of paper work. This took us a good few hours and when we were finished Ibiki told us to just go home and that we would start working properly tomorrow. So we headed out of the Hokage tower and down the streets of Konoha.
"You fancy doing some training, Jedi?" I asked my partner absently. He agreed to my suggestion and so we both headed off to our usual training grounds. When we got there, however, we found that it was already occupied by none-other than team Gai.
All three of the members of said team were sprawled out across the floor in exhaustion. As Yoda and I approached the team I saw Neji lift his head a little to see whom it was that dared to disturb them. When he saw it was I he sat up and gave me a questioning look.
"Hey Neji, how was your first day as a genin? Did you pass your genin test?" I asked him with a wide smile. His face immediately darkened at my words and I could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.
"You knew that we would get a test, and yet you did not warn me?" he asked in a menacing voice. Oh, Neji was pissed off. I mean really pissed off. My smile dropped off my face and I blinked in surprise. I had completely forgotten that the second genin test was not a well-known thing amongst academy students, and everybody would have just found out about it that morning. I took a step back as I realized my mistake.
"I'm so sorry! I completely forgot to tell you. I-" I stopped talking as Neji stood up and faced me with an extremely dark look on his face.
"Come here Nanami," said my brother in exactly the same commanding tone as my father.
"No," I told him wisely and took another step back. At my reaction he took a step forward.
"Nanami." Neji's voice held deep warning and my instincts were telling me to run.
"Neji?" I asked in a politely questioning voice. Neji went to take another step forward but his legs collapsed beneath him and he lay on the floor grimacing. I walked up to him hesitantly and looked down at my brother with pity.
"Your new sensei a bit of a slave driver?" I asked him sympathetically.
"You have no idea," said the girl lying on Neji's right. Tenten was exactly like I remembered her from my past life, with buns on either side of her head and a pretty face. I gave her an understanding look as she breathed out a hard-done-by smile.
"Yosh!" came a voice on Neji's left. "He was the perfect example of hard work and determination! I would very much like to be like that someday." Rock Lee did not yet possess the bright green jump suit and so was currently wearing normal Ninja clothing. I gave the boy a bright smile, a wink and a thumbs-up.
"That's the spirit!" I told at him.
"No…" Neji moaned from the floor. "Don't encourage him."
With Neji's words Lee jumped up into the air, as if he hadn't just be passed out from exhaustion and approached me with enthusiasm. "Yosh! It is nice to meet you. I am Rock Lee and you are…?"
"I'm Hyuuga Nanami; Neji's younger sister," I told the boy calmly.
"It is an honour to meet the sister of my esteemed team mate and rival Neji-san!" yelled the boy while bowing to me.
"Rival?" I asked Neji over my shoulder, stifling a giggle behind my hand.
"I hate you," Neji mumbled into the dirt.
"So you passed anyway?" I questioned in all seriousness.
"Don't ask stupid questions," replied my brother with an annoyed look in my direction.
"Is it such a stupid question?" asked Tenten. "I mean, that was pretty brutal. I'm surprised we even came out of it alive. I'm Tenten by the way, it's nice to meet you. I would get up but I'm not sure that I can."
Yoda just watched the whole exchange with polite interest without anybody even noticing his presence, but I think he found the whole situation secretly hilarious – but that's just my theory. Later that evening, after Yoda and I had completed a particularly gruelling training session, I walked back home with a smile on my face. I thought with relief that I was glad I hadn't somehow changed the outcome of Neji's genin team. They would be good for him.
!
The first month of being a Shinobi was… dull. Apparently D-rank missions were a rite of passage in the Shinobi world. We were given missions that the rest of the T&I department couldn't be bothered or didn't want to do. These were things like coffee runs, cleaning out the used Torture chambers of all the blood and gore and watching interrogations through the one way mirror and writing down what was said and done. Yoda didn't once complain about what they had to do and just took everything with a nod and got on with it.
We didn't always just observe interrogation; we actually sometime did them ourselves. Of course the first few times were with supervision from Ibiki, but once we had got the hang of it he left us to our own devices. Of course, we were only allowed to do the simplest interrogations such as taking reports from failed low C-rank missions that weren't important enough to go to the Hokage, or looking into complaints from civilians about rowdy Shinobi. This meant that I would usually do most of the talking while Yoda sat there looking blank and slightly intimidating.
"So you killed his cat because…?" I asked a particularly disgruntled Inuzuka genin; one of Kiba's distant cousins.
"Because the dammed cat attacked my dogs," said the young man without any remorse. "It was to protect my canine friends."
"Your dogs would have been fine. They are, after all, five times the size of an average cat." I flicked my pen and pursed my lip with a sigh; not even trying to hide my boredom with the situation.
"It's principle," justified the Inuzuka.
"On a civilian's cat?"
"One hundred percent."
"Because it scratched your dog's nose."
"Deadly attack that."
"Slight over reaction, maybe?" I asked in a casual tone.
"Not at all," replied the man with complete seriousness.
"Right…" I took a deep breath and rubbed my hand over my face tiredly. Sometimes it was hard to believe how incredibly stupid some people were. "You've been issued with a warning and must compensate said Mr… err, Fluffykins-"
"I think that was the cat's name," muttered Yoda under his breath.
I stopped short with a frown. "Why is it on the paper work then!?" I whispered back in an incredulous tone.
"Well probably because-" continued my partner as if he couldn't detect the killer intent that was sure to have been radiating off me at this point.
"I will hit you," I cut him off. He made no comment in return.
I finished off that particular soul destroying interrogation shortly after that. My temper was only so short.
"Aren't you going to get bored of just doing D-ranks all the time? I mean I'm fine with it because I have no experience with this type of thing. But you were kind of ANBU before," I said to Yoda as we took a seat at a ramin stand at the end of a long day two weeks in. I had insisted that Yoda treat me to a bowl of ramin after he had flicked blood in my face that afternoon while we cleaned up after a particularly gruesome interrogation. He said it was by accident but I caught a gleam in his eye as he turned away from me. It seemed I had rubbed off on the teen and it turned out that he had a slight mischievous side.
"No, I don't mind," he said genuinely with a small smile.
"And why's that?" I asked. Our bowls of ramin arrived and I began to dig in to my meal greedily.
"Well, you need the experience. Throwing you in the deep end would be stupid. I don't mind going at your pace; we're friends." Yoda looked down at his meal and frowned, as if he wasn't sure what he just said was the truth or not. I couldn't help it, my heart swelled as I watched the socially dysfunctional boy try and express his feelings to me.
"Thanks Yoda, it means a lot," I said smiling and giving my friend a wink. He just frowned at me.
"Are you being sarcastic?" he asked with suspicion. The cute moment suddenly disappeared due to the sandy haired boy's obliviousness. I just gave him a dead stare and turned back to my food.
!
Six months later we found ourselves much more experienced in the art of interrogation and with this we started to receive more and more difficult missions. Yoda's particular skills started to become in handy when we had overly difficult suspects and with this I had to completely squash any squeamishness I might have previously had. The first time I witnessed my partner break someone's arm and watched as it splinted and broke through the victims skin; I was sick. It was embarrassing and Yoda out right laughed at my discomfort but following that I managed to suck it up and deal with all the gruesome situations.
In addition to interrogation and torture, the department also dealt with a lot of undercover missions. Manipulation being a key component of any spies job, T&I often were the first the Hokage would look to for any missions where a detailed, fake alias needed to be created and where shinobi who were to be on long term assignments of said nature were trained on how to stay in character.
Although Yoda and I weren't going to be running round other hidden villages pretending to be enemy shinobi any time soon, once we were trusted more within T&I we were sent out on a few said missions – albeit the lesser ones. Just simple 'get information in a bar pretending to be an innocent child kid on the boarders of Wind' or 'quietly suggest something sinister to a high member of a local government while pretending to be a servant' kind of missions. Very easy for those with the skills and with the know-how.
What was surprising, or somewhat not when you think about it, is that not every shinobi knew the finesse of lying and sabotage to gain advantage. A lot of ninja were the melee kind of fighters, 'kill loads of guys, guns blazing' routine, like Naruto. If you really think about it Naruto could not, in his whole existence, have completed an undercover mission without revealing who he was. So best to call in the experts, or higher-ranking shinobi, to do such tasks.
All in all we were good at our job and everything was running smoothly. However, I couldn't seem to brush away the feeling that everything was going too smoothly and that we would soon be crashing and burning spectacularly.
"Yoda! Hyuuga!" Ibiki barked and beckoned us to walk with him. "I've got an interrogation for you." We followed our sensei into his office and stood in front of his desk as he took a seat and took out a number of mission files.
"It's not another civilian matter is it?" I asked in a pouty voice.
"You'll get what you're given and be grateful," Morino said gruffly but with clear amusement. "But even I have to admit that the amount of civilian cases we've been receiving has increased a lot recently. Most of those should have been dealt with by the police force."
"They haven't been able to keep up with demands?" asked Yoda with a critical eye.
"The inter-clan conflict within the Uchiha has completely messed their system up and they're going with a reorganisation phase. And so they've been passing some of their work load onto us." Ibiki shook his head in silent despair at the huge amount of extra work that had managed to come his way. "Well anyway, this mission I have for you isn't a pass over from the police force. It's simply a suspect, Chunin, called up on the street for odd behaviour." Ibiki pulled out a mission report from the bottom of his pile and handed it to Yoda. "It shouldn't be too difficult for you two. Just find out what he's hiding whether it be undiagnosed psychotics or forbidden jutsu."
Seemed routine enough. It wasn't something that Yoda and I had handled before but it wasn't way out of our league. I was about to express my confidence when I caught an uncertain expression creeping across Ibiki's face.
"What's the catch?" I asked with dread.
He paused and sat back in his chair and watched us with calculated eyes. He seemed to be debating something with himself silently. "There's something about him that feels more sinister than simply mucking around with a few techniques he maybe shouldn't have. Its just…"Ibiki drifted off with a slightly sour expression. "You'll see what I mean when you get in there I suppose. Any questions?" Plenty considering Ibiki hadn't given us much to go off and yet both Yoda and I shook our heads violently, recognising the rhetorical question for what it was.
A nasty grin spread across Ibiki's face and I felt a cold chill run up my spin in anticipation. "Good luck ladies."
Something about the hesitance in Ibiki's eyes made me pause for a second when Yoda and I were alone.
"Yoda, I have a bad feeling…" my gut was telling me to run. That was never a good sign.
"We will be fine." He wasn't saying that as if to reassure me, but as if it was an empirical fact. Everything would be fine and we would come out of this better than we did before - with more experience.
!
The chunin in the chair looked worse for wear and smelt equally as vile. His chakra gave off an unpleasant pulse as it tried to make its way around the suppression seals taped to his arms. Something volatile seemed to be leaking from his whole aura that caused me to suppress a gag at the pure sickening feeling it riled up within me.
Something was off about this man; no wonder they had pulled him up merely off the street in suspicion for dirty dealings. When I saw him, however, I thought it went deeper than that. He was tainted with something rotten. It was as if someone had poisoned him.
I gave Yoda a look that communicated my suspicions and he seemed to agree. So this is what Ibiki had meant when he told us we'd understand when we saw him. He wants us to get a name because, whatever this was, this low level chunin wasn't alone.
We shared another look, but this time it was one of confidence. This would be fine, we could get the answers; we could do this!
We hoped.
!
It didn't go fine. It actually went as horribly wrong as any interrogation in the history of the Shinobi nations ever went.
I sat in the medical bay cradling my broken arm in despair. The medic flittered around me with practised professionalism, not saying a word, and as soon as the bone was set and a small amount of medical chakra inserted into the wound to speed up the healing process we were ushered out to be replaced by the next person. We sat in the small office that had been given to us to share with our heads bowed and the silence between us deafening. We had gained the information but we had broken protocol a million times over.
"Was that your first?" I asked Yoda, maybe trying to take my mind off of the shit storm of an interrogation or maybe because I realized that I had just watched a man die for the first time and it really didn't bother me.
"No," was Yoda's answer. And I left it at that.
"Yoda and Hyuuga in my office NOW!" shouted Morino Ibiki as he walked past our office door very, very unhappily. We got up and followed the man silently. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" sneered Ibiki as he lent over his desk in an extremely agitated pose. We wisely remained silent and just stood in front of our sensei with shamefully.
"I know that you completed the interrogation but at what cost? A broken arm that could have been avoided and a dead chunin that we could have found more information from. Not well done. Not well done at all." He paused and tried to look us in the eye but we avoided his gaze expertly.
"Yoda," barked our sensei.
"Sir," came the reply from my partner, albeit much quieter than usual.
"Tell me exactly what you did wrong."
"I killed the suspect," Yoda said in a dead voice.
"That is right, you did. But that can be dealt with easily enough. More importantly; what did you do wrong?" Ibiki's tone spoke that he better get the answer right this time.
"I allowed my team mate to get hurt," Yoda whispered. I looked over to my friend and found that he wouldn't meet my eyes. His face was shrouded in darkness so I couldn't see his expression. My throat constricted painfully as I felt the dark aura. Had I not made the mistake and been over confident then Yoda wouldn't have to feel the pressing guilt that it was all his fault.
"I take full responsibility for what happened in that room," I said to the floor. Tears were pricking the corners of my eyes but I refused to let them fall; I would deal with my actions bravely. "I wouldn't allow Yoda to stop the Chunin from hurting me because I thought we could get the information I-"
"You are not experienced enough to make that call. If I thought you would end up in a situation like that I never would have given you that interrogation. You were stupid Nanami and I expect better from you." I flinched visibly at Ibiki's words. "But the fault lies with you both." I looked up and was about to argue my point when Yoda cut across me.
"No Nana, he's right. I'm sorry that I could not stop what happened. I shouldn't have let you get hurt." The sentence held more emotion than I had ever heard from my partner before. Guilt and shame laced his voice as he tried to hold in the unfamiliar fear of losing one of his only friends in the whole world.
"Yoda…" I whispered, my heart breaking as I felt the weight of his words. Guilt and horror settled into the pit of my stomach. I was such an idiot.
"Yoda and Nanami. Never do that again, do you understand me?" Ibiki said with more anger than I'd ever seen from him before. Yoda and I just nodded our heads in quick agreement. I was trying to wipe off any trace of emotion from my face and so was Yoda, but I could see the shame in my partner's eyes and was sure that my expression mirrored his.
"In that room," continued the head of T&I, "you never, ever allow yourself to lose control. You must always plan the situation and know the outcome. If you ever lose sight of that goal then you need to stop the interrogation and re-evaluate. We are not working on a battlefield. Our fights are significantly more refined and much, much slower." He stopped and looked at us with a piercing expression. "Remember this; you can always go back tomorrow.
"Sometimes you will have to make a sacrifice in that room. Sometimes, if the information isn't gathered then it could be the end for your village," said our sensei with a dead voice. "One day, you might have no other choice. But that is the only situation where you are allowed to become the victim in that room. Getting hurt is the last option. Always the last."
"We understand," Yoda muttered. This time there was a determined glint in his eye. I almost smiled.
"We all make mistakes," Ibiki said in a softer tone. "But what's important is to learn from them. You have tomorrow off. I want you to put the interrogation behind you and when you return the day after tomorrow I expect you in full working order." With these words Ibiki left the room in one swift movement and slammed the door behind him loudly. Both Yoda and I flinched at the noise but apart from that didn't move or say anything.
The silence was near suffocating as we both stood there awkwardly, lacking anything appropriate to say after the severe scolding and life lesson we had just receive. After a few moments of this I couldn't take it anymore.
"Hey Jedi, want to get some ramen with me?" the sudden question broke through the stillness like a breath of fresh air.
"That would be nice," replied Yoda in a timid voice.
We all make mistakes, but what's important is to learn from them. I would never allow myself to get into such a vulnerable position again without a contingency plan, and Yoda would never step back and allow me to get hurt for the sake of an interrogation.
Remember this; you can always go back tomorrow.
!
It didn't take us very long to unhinge him enough to get him to make a mistake. So he was a spy, but the question was for whom? What Yoda and I should have seen at this point was that this was well out of our league and we should go and get someone with more experience. Arrogance and overestimation of our abilities over shadowed logic however.
"I know you know something. You've been hinting at it for the last two hours. Why are you prolonging the inevitable? …Who are you working for?" I asked the beaten Chunin in the chair in front of me. I knew whom he was working for and it was blindly obvious to anyone in the know; his twitching demeanour, his irrational idealization of this master and the pure superiority complex surrounding him all pointed to the influence of one man. But I couldn't for all intents and purposes just come up with such a random theory with no apparent background. No one would take me seriously.
But if this Chunin just gave me something, anything at all, then maybe, just maybe, I could create a link.
Said Chunin spat in my face venomously but remained as closed lip as before. Something in this mans expression seemed unstable, not all there in the head. When I went to wipe the disgusting spit from my cheek a manic grin made its way onto the suspects face that morphed into an ugly sneer.
The expression didn't last long however as Yodo grabbed hold of the chunin's hair and smashed his face against the table violently. "What did I say about being polite?" my partner whispered in the ear of the accused. The chunin said nothing. "Well then, shall I remind you?"
I remained stoic in the face of the chunin's screams, completely detached from the situation as I was supposed to be, and yet something had unnerved me in the suspects face. Something that should have warned me of what was to come.
!
Less than two days later we returned to work as instructed. We weren't initially sure of what the recuperations of our mishap would be, but when Ibiki started to bring it up when we reported in it wasn't all that surprising. However, the outcome of the conversation was not to have been expected.
"What happened with the chunin…" started Ibiki.
Neither Yoda nor I visibly flinched at the casual mention of the event but the tension in the room seemed to increase marginally from what it had only just been. "It was unfortunate but I still have faith in the both of you. The information you gathered was invaluable. And because of this we now have the upper hand and can use this to our advantage."
Hope welled up within me. If only the absolute humiliation of the whole event could be wiped clean and replaced with something of worth – and a feeling within me said that this was exactly what Ibiki was about to offer. And yet, another part of me knew that this salvation would be a double-edged sword.
"Word has gotten around about the dead chunin." Dead suspects was something that happened every once in a while and it was show of a good interrogation department that had fewer casualties and thus more refined shinobi - you leave the execution to the discretions of the Hokage. So therefore when a death did take place within the unit's walls it usually got around town that something underhand went about.
Mistakes happened; it would blow over soon enough…
"We're going to increase these rumours tenfold with Nanami at the centre," Ibiki had a self-satisfied smirk upon his face that said he had some unfortunate plan hidden somewhere up his sleeve.
…Or not.
!
After the severe beating the suspect had received from Yoda we had both agreed it best that we move onto more psychological interrogation. Now Yoda was observing while I tried to trick the suspect into giving us useful answers.
This hadn't been going very well unfortunately and half an hour later I was grinding my teeth in frustration and seriously considering passing the mantle back over to Yoda. I took a deep breath to calm myself and regrettably it was in this split second of inattention and indecision that everything began to go terribly wrong.
I wasn't quite prepared for the chunin to reach out so suddenly and with such force. The impact of his hand on my arm from across the table and the jolt as he pulled me to my feet, dragging me forward to mere inches from his face, caused me to cry out in alarm and pain. I dared not move but just watched him like a gazelle caught in the gaze of a lion.
The suspect looked deranged as he held onto my arm with strength that one wouldn't have thought his average frame could possess. His hold was painful and I knew that there would at least be bruising there tomorrow. Yoda took a step forward from where he had retired against the wall at the back of the room. I shot him a look that communicated, "I got this", and trusting my judgement he stepped down.
"Look at me," hissed the man. When I looked him in the eye I saw an unnerving predatory gleam that unsettled me to the core – I felt like I was losing control.
In that moment a red-flag shot up in my brain and told me I needed to step back and revaluate. That Yoda was on standby and would be more than happy to take over in my moment of unease. Maybe it was that all-famous stubborn, Hyuuga pride that made me ignore the little voice and continue.
!
"I've been informed of your operation within you unit and the need for my cooperation," Hizashi stated with clear detachment. "I have complied with the request of your gradual ostracisation from the clan."
"Is anyone else going to know?" I asked my father with a grimace. I wasn't particularly fond of their stuffy rituals and the like but the Hyuuga's were my family and the idea of being outcast by them didn't sit well with me.
"I was told to tell as few people as possible. It is not necessary for anyone else to know; the clan will follow my lead." The words were said with a bitter resonance that was all too familiar with Hizashi's tone. He didn't like this but understanding the absolute need for this mission he accepted the request.
I was dismissed and that was that.
That afternoon everyone had heard about how I had failed in my duties as a shinobi and botched an important mission. I was in disgrace.
I don't know why but I didn't see Neji's reaction coming – or being quite so violent.
!
"I'm looking at you," I said with blankness in my tone. Although I was unsettled, I didn't lose my cool.
"Who you see before you is the disciple of a great man," hissed the chunin in a strangely familiar way.
"A great man you say?" I questioned with disinterest that caused the suspect to sneer in anger.
"Show him more respect!" he shouted unnecessarily as our faces were still mere inches apart. His grip on my arm didn't let up in the slightest but actually became more painful. So much so I imaged the bone straining under such constant force.
"Who? Why would I show a stranger respect?" I would have liked to say you couldn't here the fear in my voice from where I was trying to block out the pain; but I would be lying. It was so obvious that even Yoda picked up on it. I saw from the corner of my eye him slowly stand straighter and take a fraction of a step forward just in case.
"A person of legend. Our village will be top of everyone soon enough."
!
"Neji?" I slid the door to my brother's room open slowly. There was no moon and so the light flittering through the halls was the bare minimum, meaning I could hardly see two feet in front of me. This was good for me because it meant my brother couldn't see the tear tracks racing down my cheeks. "Are you awake?"
I had had a nightmare, something that had been troubling me every single night since the interrogation. It had been a week since the event and it wasn't until had had gotten home that evening that the true horrors of the situation had really hit home.
I could have died. But that itself wasn't the scariest thought; I had already died once after all. What was most haunting was that I knew I would have to put myself in a situation like that again and I really, really didn't want to. I had decided to become a ninja because I didn't think I could get out of it and I only saw the benefits of the job, but now all I could think about was the face of the man I was partly responsible for killing. Not only that but his deranged words echoed in my subconscious every time I closed my eyes.
I was a fully-grown woman deep down despite how often I acted like a child. But I was unnerved to the bone. This wasn't the society I came from where murder was wrong and war was something that happened half way across the world where it couldn't reach us. I had never felt more like a child before; vulnerable, exposed and helpless. The reality check wasn't pretty.
I really, really needed a hug.
I couldn't ask Yoda as his hugs were like hugging a lamppost, so I would have to ask my brother; someone who had always been there for me. However, I hadn't even seen him around the compound since the day of my failed interrogation and that, for some reason, stirred a disconcerting feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Neji?" I asked the darkness.
"Go back to your own bed Nanami," Neji said with a clear voice as if he hadn't been sleeping. There was something in his voice that I should have pinpointed, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Whatever it was it unnerved me and I began to question the wisdom of disturbing my brother in the middle of the night.
But he had never turned me away when I really needed him, so I didn't think to worry.
"I had a nightmare. Just for a little bit can I-" I was cut off abruptly with a loud bang, as if a fist was banging on the floor.
"You're a shinobi now Nanami you shouldn't come crying to me when you have a problem!" seethed my brother with venom. I staggered backwards surprised and hurt by his cold tone. "You look pathetic standing there. Go away and don't bother me."
"I don't understand," I whispered in confusion.
"I heard what happened. You're an embarrassment to the clan. Please have a little bit of pride and at least not bother others with your whimpering." Neji's voice was cold and sincere and it hurt more than I could have imagined. And for the first time in quite a while I felt totally alone.
I felt a sob rising from my chest and I made no effort to stop it. I was so hurt by his words I didn't care. I ran from the room and would have been blinded by tears had it not already been so dark.
Neji didn't speak to me much after that. Ever. I tried to get him to open up to me again but he just closed me off absolutely and completely. I did once catch him giving me a guilty glance but when I looked again it was all cold indifference. I thought that maybe he was doing this because I needed to become stronger and he thought that my emotional attachments were weaknesses as a shinobi. I was probably right in my assessment, as I knew everything my brother did went regarding me was to try and make me stronger.
None the less we became strangers and he became consumed in his training and his career.
He didn't have time for me anymore.
!
Frustration was gnawing at me as the impertinent man gave us less and less coherent answers.
"'Our village?' What village is that?" I asked through gritted teeth. I wanted to get control again and was trying to collect in all the training I'd ever gone through and win this messed up situation.
"The Village, our village," mumbled the mad man again and again. His breath had quickened and with his hand around my wrist I could feel his whole body shaking with tension. His grip didn't slacken at all as the man began to drift into his own world again.
"Who? I want to know WHO?!" I slammed my free hand on the table with genuine frustration and emotion I couldn't remember feeling in years. I was stupidly letting myself go and a voice in the back of my mind was surprise Yoda hadn't stepped in yet, but after hours and hours of patient questioning in that small room on the brink of potentially nipping a big, big problem in the bud early and not getting anywhere, I really was desperate.
The slamming of my fist seemed to reawaken the man and he came back to himself.
"He's the medic," he sneered. "His personal medic." The chunin spat to his side to show his disgust and jealousy. There was only one medic this could be.
"What's his name?" I pushed. Ignoring the growing discomfort in my arm I reach forward with it and grabbed the man's shirt collar, slightly strangling him. "Give me a name!" I shouted into his face. We were centimetres apart and, if I were to imagine my expression, I probably looked just as wild eyed as the chunin did.
"Him," he explained as if that explained everything. Anger flashed in his eyes and his grip tightened again. This time I couldn't help the audible reaction as pain took over my arm. I pushed through with blind determination as tears sprung from my eyes. From the corner of my eye I saw Yoda move around the outskirts of the room, ready to intervene when necessary.
"Who are you working for?! Tell me!"
!
As was planned, everyone had heard about the situation.
For the benefit of the operation to make it more long term realistically believable we had to return to bottom of the mill D-ranks. The following months were mind numbing after working our way up in the department to at least interesting jobs and then being again dropped onto civilian tax avoidance and stolen sweets.
That in itself was almost torture and on top of that things started to get tense within the clan walls. Hinata was by no means a weakling but her skills, apparently, were not good enough for a clan heir. With her graduation exam fast approaching Hizashi put her under strenuous training. You could see the poor girl starting to crumble under the brutal beatings of my brother who had replaced me as Hinata sparring partner. I was no longer involved in Hinata's training – in fact I wasn't involved in much clan activity full stop.
It was a month before the graduation exams and a Saturday – Yoda and mine's first Saturday off in quite a while. We spent the morning training and after getting beaten up I decided to go and annoy my friends. Due to work I hadn't been able to visit them as much as I would have wanted to but I had been round to share my affection with them every once in a while.
"Hey Shikamaru!" I shouted banging on his front door violently. "If you don't open this door you lazy bum I'm going to wake you up at five in the morning with a bucket of water for the next week and-" My words were cut short when the door swung opened unexpectedly. My long time best friend stood with a very un-amused face and bed head that showed he'd only just gotten up. "It's noon. Why are you still in bed?" I questioned.
"It's noon, on a Saturday. Why are you not still in bed?" He shot back at me with a blank expression, and then slammed the door violently in my face.
Shikamaru was by no means a morning person.
"So what is it you wanted?" my friend asked me over cup of green tea an hour later.
"Nothing just your love," I responded with a happy smile. We chatted merrily until mid-afternoon when Shikamaru had some clan chores to complete. It was nice to have a constant like Shikamaru in my life.
As I made my way back to the compound a strange weight settled in my stomach, the kind of feeling I'd come to expect with something bad happening, and I quickened my pace. I jumped the compound wall and landed in the garden lightly but there was an eerie quietness that was unnatural at this time of day. The sound of pots and pans banging as supper was made should have been rife in the air and the maids were usually hanging out the washing to dry at this time.
I walked around to the front of Hizashi's house and was about to knock when movement caught my eye. The dojo seemed to be full with people as they watched in fascination at the fight that ensued within. Curious, and a little concerned, I made my way towards the gathering and pushed past the crowd to stand at the front. What I saw within made my stomach drop and my mind kick into automatic.
I was about to take a step forward into the circle to stop the eventual tragedy from happening when a hand landed on my shoulder preventing me from intervening. I glanced over my shoulder angrily to see who had stopped me and saw my father watching the scene before us play out.
"Do no intervene. You will disgrace her," Hizashi spoke emotionlessly.
Neji stood in a perfect Juken stance, as always, with a blank face and his byakugan activated through angry slits. Across from him, shaking like a leaf in the wind and with obvious bruises forming around her arms and neck was Hinata, byakugan trained on Neji with gentle, pleading eyes. From the looks of it the fight was nearing its end and it was already clear who the victor would be.
In one final attempt at fighting back Hinata took a step forward but her stance was wrong and she faltered from obvious pain causing her to twist and leave herself wide open. Not that he needed the invitation, but ever the opportunist, Neji stepped forward and delivered two hard blows to Hinata's stomach and then a final kick to her rib cage that sent her flying across the room and landing in a quivering bundle at the other side of the room.
There was no applause, no congratulations; everybody just went back to their duty quietly. There was no honour in winning against such a weakling.
I didn't hesitate in rushing to my cousin with concern and fear. I'd never seen Neji take so much of his hatred out on Hinata before and I was scared for the little girl that was snifferling in the corner. However, before I could reach her side I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and spin me around aggressively. I found myself, after months of avoidance, face to face with my brother.
"Leave her. She is weak," Neji said with a distasteful expression. I gave him an equally disgusted looked that he should even suggest such a thing and pushed his hand away from me and turned back to Hinata.
It didn't occur to me that I'd ever need to watch my back when it came to Neji; I'd just always trusted that he'd do the right thing, be there for me, watch what I couldn't see.
I felt the disturbance of air at the back of my neck that dislodged a hair or two and I froze on the spot, understanding instantly what had happened and feeling deeply betrayed. I swung around and stared at the hand raised to strike the tenketsu point at back of the neck; a point that if manipulated wrong could kill a person.
A point that, if Neji were to touch, he'd learn about the seal on the back of my neck.
I'd like to think the reason he stopped was because he'd come to his senses. It wasn't.
I'd like to think the reason my father reached out his hand and prevented my brother from landing the blow was because he feared for my safety with such a dangerous move. It wasn't.
I'd also like to think I saw a flicker of concern on Hizashi's face and of horrified surprise on Neji's face as he realized what he was about to do. This I can't be sure on but I'd pretend I saw this in the coming months to help me sleep at night.
Hizashi Hyuuga couldn't allow the seal to be discovered. Neji Hyuuga was very bitter and alone. Nanami Hyuuga was a fool for forgetting she lived among killers and spies.
I swallowed the bile that rose in the back of my throat and pushed down the dark feelings that stirred within me. I turned my back on my closest family and went to help someone in need.
I flittered over Hinata like a worried mother hen and gently helped her to her feet. She whimpered as I put my arm around her back, but she leaned into my support when her legs practically gave out. Fortunately she was very small and light.
"It's funny that for a clan who can see all, we are more blinded than most," I told the men before me in a gentle voice that much reflected Hinata's accepted for the betrayed undertones that were all my own. I left them to broad on their bitterness in peace.
Hinata was barely conscious and I handled her tiny frame with extra care. After I dropped her into the capable hand of my past surrogate mother Suki I made my way to Shikamaru's house, somewhere I knew I would always be able to find help.
He took one look at me and guided me inside gently as if any sudden move might make me run, much like one might approach a wounded dear. He made me a cup of tea, took me to the spare room and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze that told me I was welcome as long as I needed; all without a single word said between us.
When I really thought about the happenings of the day I realize something that made me very sad. Neji must have made his first kill – his movements held no hesitance.
!
"Who are you working for? WHO?!"
"Y-Y…"
"Who is it?"
"Yakushi…"
Almost simultaneously, as if it had been painstakingly practised over and over again, two consecutive snaps could be heard; one snap of an arm and the other a neck.
The continuous pressure on my arm seemed to give all of a sudden and it was as if the bone beneath the chunin's hand crumbled into dust.
Yoda, as if watching and predicting the outcome, had rushed into save me from the broken bone but had been too late by milliseconds. The second snap was that of the chunin's neck as Yoda yanked him away by his hair aggressively and in panic – something I'd never seen from Yoda before.
The interrogation ended as such; with the chunin dead on the floor and my arm hung at an odd angle to my side.
!
One month later I was suspended from T&I until further notice.
!
…So, hey guys! Umm, sorry for the lack of updating. Life, you know?
This chapter is almost 9,000 words and I've already started writing the next one. Hopefully, I will actually get it out to you within a reasonable amount of time. I've found my writer voice again and hopefully it will keep me inspired to write some more!
Let me know what you think of the angst and Neji and Yoda and the interrogation and what you think the next mission would be? Also, tell me what you think about Shikamaru! I just love him so much.
Thank you for all your support and lovely comment! See you soon!