Chapter 10
She was shell-shocked; holding her friend's lifeless hand.
Her heart was racing in her chest; deafening her as the panic spread inside her body. Her hands, that were usually perfectly still, were trembling as the fear of losing her best friend paralyzed her.
What am I supposed to do?
'I need help,' she screamed at everyone around her; sensing the desperate undertone in her own voice.
'Someone call 911!'
She tried to calm down and take a deep breath, attempting to keep a clear head as Frost and Frankie appeared next to Jane.
'Maura,' Frankie said; begging her to so something. It was like a slap, waking her up.
She was a doctor; someone working with the dead though she'd gone through her medical training just like everyone else.
'Okay… okay…' Maura said, trying to figure out what to do next. She reached out; the tip of her index, middle and ring finger touching her neck, trying to locate a pulse.
Common Carotid Artery.
She tried to remember the countless nights as an intern, saving lives in the emergency room. There were enough gunshot victims to know what to do.
Keep her calm, Maura thinks. Keep her save.
'Frankie,' Maura said. 'Take of your jacket and put it against her back, don't move her!'
As carefully as possible, Maura lifted Jane's shirt that was glued to the wound. Despite the blood seeping from the wound she realized the pink colored tissue; slightly burned skin. Maura gently slid a hand beneath Jane's body, locating the exit wound.
Damn it. Kidney and liver. Please don't let the organs be damaged; please don't let the bullet have shattered a bone and cause her harm that Maura could not yet see.
'Straighten her legs carefully,' she told Frost. 'Don't lift them or the bleeding will strengthen,' she said and the detective silently obeyed.
'Where's the damn ambulance?' she hissed and made sure Jane's airways were free; her eyelids twitched; she was drifting in and out of consciousness.
Time. Time is everything, that's what she remembered. What did the attendant always say? If you have a gunshot victim, time is all that matters. Gunshot wounds are so unpredictable that the victim has to be taken to the hospital within ten minutes after the incident.
'I need something to stop the bleeding,' she said to no one in particular but it only took seconds until someone handed her a blanket.
They are all watching me.
She put the blanket on the entrance wound, releasing pressure as gently as possible; doing the same with the exit wound presented a bit of a problem. Jane fell on her right side, the exit wound facing the warm pavement beneath her own body.
She used both hands to keep the blanket steadily in place.
Cover the wound. Maintain the pressure and keep everything from getting into the wound.
Maura watched in horror as the light fabric of the blanket was stained with blood; spreading through it faster with every second. She was used to cold blood and panic once again rushed through her veins as the warm blood soaked her own hands.
Jane's blood.
'Where the hell is the damn ambulance?' she almost screamed as tears blurred her vision. The Boston Medical Center was only three minutes away, why does it take so long to get here?
She's a doctor, watching her best friend's life draining from her body through her own hands and yet there was nothing Maura could do. She tried to suppress a sob, focusing on the situation.
She's breathing, but her pulse is dropping.
'Come on, Jane,' she whispered and touched her cheek. 'Don't do that to me!'
How did we end up here?
The sound of the ambulance felt like a relief; a spark of hope that things can only get better. She didn't even allow herself to think of any other possibility.
As the ambulance halted on Schroeder Plaza, everything went very fast.
Maura backed away as the paramedics rushed to her side; watching her blood-stained hands. She felt them getting sticky as the blood started to dry, smelled the distinctive metallic smell of blood and it made her shiver in disgust. She wanted to wash it off her hands and run away but remained silent as she watched the paramedics taking care of Jane.
'What happened?' the older one asked and Maura stepped in, her mind focusing on the major details.
'Detective Jane Rizzoli was shot at immediate distance a few minutes ago,' Maura explained, her voice growing stronger; switching to professional mode. It was just a method of defense, blocking out the terrible truth but it was also what she could do best.
'Penetrating gunshot wound on the lower abdomen. She's drifting in and out of consciousness; she's breathing and the airways seem free. Pulse around 85, slowly dropping.'
She didn't know how much time passed until they finally loaded her into the ambulance; she felt like she was observing everything but not grasping what was going on.
'I'm coming with you,' she told the paramedic.
'We'll meet you there,' she heard Frost saying and watched them running toward his car before she closed the door.
She didn't remember the last time she went in an ambulance. It all appeared so unfamiliar and Jane remained the focus of her attention as the two paramedics prepared her for the upcoming surgery as well as possible.
You look like you're sleeping, Maura thought. How many mornings did I watch you until you opened your eyes and greeted me with a smile? Will you ever do that again, she wondered.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize the car slowing down already; someone yanked open the door and the younger one took the lead; repeating exactly what Maura told him not too long ago.
She ran along the corridor, following doctors and nurses as they hurried Jane toward the OR.
Time is all that mattered.
She wasn't in control here; this wasn't her territory. Her pace decreased as they approached the doors and she watched them disappearing through the pane; taking Jane away from her again and she was left alone in a corridor, the only sound reaching her ears was the sound of her own breathing.