Nothing has changed from last week. We still own nothing. :) And sorry this is late. Blame the bachelorette party I went to last night. :) And please review!

Chapter Nine

Darling, So It Goes

It was very, very hard to let go of Jasper after that first kiss. When we were running, our fingers were laced tightly together. When we were standing still or lying down, waiting for the sun to set, our bodies were molded together. When we both least expected it, his lips found mine and we were locked together ever more firmly. I hated it when we had to break apart.

But we had to hunt; we took turns so that one of us was always watching out for the other and I was thrilled that he trusted me so much more as we were both a little skittish in light of recent events. And, to my delight, Jasper was ever more intent on keeping to the vegetarian lifestyle and even pushed me to hunt as often as he did after I confessed that I d slipped when he left me alone. The only other time that some part or another of us wasn t touching was when I went into stores to get the supplies that we needed in our continuing quest for the Cullens. Jasper always waited, impatiently, close by but he didn t trust himself to accompany me into the stores yet. The latest separation had been a little trickier. After six months of traveling, nomad style, around North America in search of the elusive Cullens, Jasper had decided that we needed a car. He argued that the Cullens would be more accepting of our interest in their family if we came in the most human way possible. I couldn t disagree so, while I played the helpless young lady with the salesman, Jasper deftly stole a brand new navy blue Mercury Eight.

There was nothing better than curling up against Jasper, his arm draped around me tightly, as he drove as fast as he dared and the car would allow along the Canadian-American border. I didn t even want to drive. I just wanted to be as close to him as I possibly could. I didn t even care that it had been four months since we came back to America. I d never, in my short memory, had anyone just for myself and I wasn t going to risk losing him if I could help it.

"You said Alberta, right?"

I jumped a little, shaken from my serene, visionless daydream by Jasper s soft southern accent. "What?"

"You were a million miles away, Alice," he said in a voice laced with concern. "I only asked if it was still Alberta that the Cullens seem to living in. Or have you seen something else?"

I shook my head and snuggled back into his embrace. "No, it s still Alberta. I didn t see anything just now but earlier I saw part of a sign on a billboard that said something about a stampede. I don t know what that means, though, or if it could help us at all."

He squeezed me tight and kissed the top of my head. "It does help, Alice. There s a stampede in Calgary every July. Did you see the sign because the Cullens were near it?"

I pulled my legs up and sat on my feet, raising myself to be more level with Jasper. I was all but bouncing with excitement. "Yes. Emmett was trying to convince Edward that it would be safe for them to go to the stampede. What month is it, Jasper?"

He didn t even look at me like I was crazy for asking. He just kissed me again, this time on the cheek, and laughed. "It s July, Alice. The Cullens must be in Calgary."

I chewed the inside of my lip and looked at Jasper. "Are we going to Calgary?" I asked in barely a whisper.

Jasper smiled softly at me. "We can be there in four hours," he answered. "Are we going to Calgary?"

I didn t need to close my eyes to see but I wanted to concentrate and focus as much as possible. After a ridiculously long morning waiting for the rainstorm to descend on Calgary, Jasper and I would be in front of a large, white house on the outskirts of the city. Jasper would be very nervous and make me stand behind him while I bubbled with excitement. I would blurt out all the things that Jasper had been telling me to keep quiet about at first and we would be invited inside anyway.

I let out a squeal of delight.

Jasper laughed and squeezed me again. "Is that a yes?"

I nodded, literally bouncing now. "Mm-hmm. It s going to be sunny this morning but we ll find their scents and follow it to a house near McDonald Lake. We re wearing the same clothes so it has to be today."

"You re going to be insufferably excited all morning, aren t you?" he teased me gently before turning serious. "Is it safe to assume that all goes well?"

"Very well," I assured him quickly. "You ll be nervous and protective of me, very protective of me, but you knew that already. Carlisle will invite us in right away. I m very happy that you ve pushed both of us on the vegetarian diet so hard, that will really help how we re received."

He made sort of a sad, scoffing noise and I worried about him a little bit. "Military discipline can be applied to everything, I suppose," he said with a forced lightness. "Anyway, I know how badly you want this and I ll do whatever it takes to make sure that you get what you want."

I wrapped my arms around him this time and hugged tightly. "What do you want, Jasper?" I asked quietly. "I want you to have everything that you want, too."

After a short moment s thought, he took his eyes off the road and looked at me with an intensity that made my cold, unbeating heart soar with happiness. The six words he said were the most beautiful I d ever heard. "I don t want for anything anymore."

I sat on his lap as he drove the rest of the way to Calgary, unwilling to weaken the bond that I now knew meant as much to him as it did to me. And I sat on his lap in the almost empty bar where we d taken refuge from the morning sun. I wasn t quite as excited as I thought I would be while we waited. I was even a little sad. Joining the Cullens meant that it wouldn t be just Alice and Jasper anymore. We would soon be part of something bigger; we would be Alice and Jasper inside of the Cullens. I worried a little when Jasper was quiet, not asking me why I was sad, and then I felt a small sadness coming from him and I knew that our thoughts were the same.

"We don t have to go," I whispered as the first drops of rain start to fall in the street.

"Yes, Alice, we do," he whispered back as I saw that he d decided, with complete finality, that he was going and he was going with me. "We ll still be us. We ll just be stronger and happier."

I knew that his words were the ones he knew I wanted to hear, because I d said them so many times to him, and I knew that he was trying to convince himself of all those things. Maria had robbed him of his identity and forced him to be nothing more than a lifeless puppet and he was very afraid of that happening again in a coven. I knew that he was afraid, too, of the reaction that a peaceful coven would have to his battle scarred body.

It didn t make sense to try and convince him that they would welcome him, warily at first but with open arms nonetheless just as I d seen. He had to see that for himself. It was the only way that he would feel totally comfortable with the Cullen family. I knew, too, that he was terribly fearful that he would slip in the diet and Carlisle would kick him out, putting my chances at being a part of the family in jeopardy. I, of course, knew that would never happen. I d seen that he would slip and I d seen that Carlisle would help him struggle to work through his depression and become stronger for it. But that was something Jasper would have to see and experience for himself. I hated that he was afraid and I sensed that he hated being afraid because he saw it as a weakness. So I did all that I could do. I let him feel as much confidence and love as I had in me and I silently prayed that he would lean on me when he needed help. I d already proven that I d never let him fall, even if he was actually trying to fall.

"You re quite the daydreamer today," Jasper murmured as he pressed his face into my neck. "Are you ready to go and meet our family?"
I turned in his lap and kissed him chastely on the lips. "I am. Are you?"

"As I ll ever be," he answered as he set me on my feet and linked his fingers through mine.

Jasper insisted on driving to the Cullens, claiming that I was too excited and nervous though I guessed that he just needed something to concentrate on, and I let him. We didn t say anything on the short drive to the Cullens. We were silent still as Jasper parked at the end of the long, winding driveway and we walked, hand in hand, up to the house. I knew that I was supposed to knock on the door and then Jasper would push me behind him even while I explained things to Carlisle but I was suddenly very nervous. What if they slammed the door in my face?

Jasper squeezed my hand and sent me as much confidence and love as I d sent him. And then he gently nudged me up the steps.
I took a deep, hopeful breath, raised my small fist to the door and knocked so lightly that only a vampire would be able to hear it.