A/N: Hello faithful readers! So I had to post it because I kept nitpicking this chapter, and there wouldn't have been anything good left of the original. Like I've been editing this one for three weeks, and even asked my husband for his opinion. Bad idea, because he doesn't give a lot of criticism, and sometimes you need that to grow as a person. And because I didn't want to keep you waiting on Elizabeth's thoughts after she stormed out of SHIELD... It's good, trust me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney or the Avengers.
Song Disclaimer: Songs used in this chapter are Half-Life by Duncan Sheik and Can You Feel My Heart? by Bring Me The Horizon. Elizabeth's taste in music is very eclectic and all over the place. She's had over 95 years to hear it all and she can change genres so fast, it gives me whiplash. A lot of it is mood based, and I had to make a Spotify playlist for this story. It helps with writing :)
P.S. I am aware that Bring Me The Horizon didn't come out with their album Sempiternal until 2013, but the song worked better than dozens others I listened to. For the sake of this story, it came out in 2011. As well, my tumblr page of the same handle, has lots of visuals, for those of you that are like me. I like to see something to understand why the author described it a certain way. And if this seems like I don't believe I can describe a room or an outfit well, it's not that. You can see a picture of Zeus, her cars, the cover photo I spent a fair chunk of my time on in Photoshop, a link to the actual penthouse I used as inspiration, and her current tactical suit.
Music blaring inside my Camaro, I sped through the streets, putting as much distance as I could between me and the facility. The grey clouds that were over the island had passed and the April sun was warming the pavement, giving the air a moist smell. I rolled up to my garage, backing in and locking the car before walking back out of the closing garage door. The two minute walk to the daycare center was fine, no one gave me a second glance, and sometimes the fact that I stayed far away from the media helped. I wasn't 'dead' to the world, but after we started SHIELD, I had to reevaluate the time I spent in front of cameras. The less people recognized me, the better for my line of work. Even if I used Photostatic veils for most of my missions.
"Elizabeth, you're here early," Tammy, the young woman at the front desk said, and I forced a smile, "Couldn't wait to see my boy. And it was just orientation day again, half day so the interns can get their feet wet. How was he?"
"Well, he was excellent today as always. Mrs. Jenkins did have a complaint about how rough he and Lucy were being around Georgia, again."
"The most timid Great Dane ever. Well, if she has a problem with my dog, she can tell me. It's not a reflection on you guys," I said to her, as she smiled.
"That's nice of you to say Elizabeth. I'll go get Zeus," She said, before disappearing. She came back only a minute later, with my giant of a dog, who was being very careful not to pull on Tammy's arm. He gave a low 'ruff' before running to greet me.
"Hey boy! How was your day?" I asked in a baby voice, dropping to a crouch to let him lick my face. I brushed my hands over his cropped ears and his tail wagged a mile a minute, as I pressed a kiss to his head.
"He had three walks today, one recently, and Jen gave him a treat for his good behaviour. Will we be seeing Zeus tomorrow?" Tammy asked, and I shook my head, "I'm taking him to work tomorrow, to scare my interns a bit. But I'll call if I'm bringing him in on Thursday."
"Sounds good," She smiled, as another owner came in the door, "I hope you have a great afternoon."
"Thanks Tammy, you too," I said, picking up his leash and walking him out the door. People would give Zeus and me a wide berth on the sidewalk home, and Natasha blamed it on my 'murder glare' or 'resting bitch face', but today I didn't really notice. There were days when I knew the way home so well that I would zone out. And zone out I did, so much that I was standing in the apartment elevator when I came back to myself. Exiting the lift, and unlocking the only door on the floor, I dropped my bag on the table by the door. I dropped Zeus's leash as I slammed the door in frustration, locking it angrily behind me.
His soft bark made me look down to see him looking on edge.
"Sorry Zeusy," I sighed, unclipping him from his leash, dropping my keys in the bowl and peeling off my leather jacket. I pulled Rumlow's dead drop from out of my bag. We had been using flash paper and invisible ink, so I knew that nothing would be traced back to either of us. We were playing a dangerous game, and I was responsible for his well being on this assignment. It's why I was so angry about him approaching me in view of security cameras, as we were rarely spotted together unless on an op or when he was scouting new talent for STRIKE. When he first came to SHIELD, we were close, like Phil and I seemed to our colleagues, but had a 'falling out' for show. So his proposition seemed a little weird to me.
The dog gave a little growl at me, rubbing up against my legs in comfort, as I grabbed a large glass of wine. It was a comfort for me now, as was any alcohol. The burn of tequila, the smoke of scotch and whiskey, the oak of bourbon and the tannins of wine... It was an expensive and useless habit, because I was basically drinking flavoured water. I had turned into an alcoholic that couldn't get drunk.
I walked upstairs to the master bathroom with the bottle as well, filling up the tub with a few essential oils to soothe my nerves. Zeus followed, laying at the doorway and resting his head on his paws. I turned on some music, as I grabbed my tablet. Ella Fitzgerald's voice filled the room as I searched through some files, finally seeing what I wanted; answers.
Project ICEMAN, so aptly named was the retrieval of the Valkyrie, that had re-appeared on a glacier that had shifted in Greenland. Of course Howard never found him. He never thought to look that far North, I thought sadly, the memory of my brother bittersweet. Steve's body was recovered, and it was discovered as they tried to thaw him out slowly, that he was still alive. Pictures from the project made me realize just how bad the crash had been. His shield had been frozen in ice, which led them to believe his body was still on the plane and frozen as well. Seeing his body, still clothed in the suit, looking peaceful as he was being thawed like a package of meat was unnerving.
I put the tablet down, pulling my hair up into a pile on my head. I disrobed and crawled into the scorching hot tub with a bottle of wine, resting my chin on my knees as I hugged them. I hadn't cried since Howard died, and even when Tony was missing, I promised myself not to cry and trust the system. Phil even told me he would go looking against Fury's orders, but I told him not to. We had no jurisdiction in Afghanistan and I wouldn't start an international conflict when I knew Tony was still alive. Obadiah had always rubbed me the wrong way, but he was irked at Tony's disappearance and not distraught like the 'father-figure' he pretended to be should. It's how I knew.
Everything I had gone through, was worn like armor around my heart. I believed I wouldn't have room in it for anyone, other than my son, my nephew and my few remaining friends. But even for all my talk of being tough and being made of stone, everything about that day came rushing back from where I had buried it.
"I've got to put her in the water."
"Please, don't do this. We have time, we can work it out," I said, as Peggy's hand left my shoulder. I watched everyone leave the room and I knew they were giving me space to say goodbye. Peggy stood at the door, looking mournful already.
"Right now, I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die."
"Elle, this is my choice," He said, and I heard him say, "Peggy."
"I'm here Steve," She said, coming up beside me again.
"Take care of her, please."
"I promise Captain... I promise Steve."
"Elle, I'm sorry we won't get to do everything we talked about. The house, the kids, the dog…"
"I know Darling, I am too," I said through my tears.
"Can you do something for me? Can you go see Bucky's parents and tell them, how loved their son was?"
"I will, I promise."
"I'm with you, until the end of the line Elizabeth."
"I am yours, and you are mine Darling," I sobbed, "I love you."
"I love you t-"
I screamed in agony as the emotions I had been withholding for years, burst forth from my chest. Zeus came over to lick my arm in comfort, and I rested my head against his for a moment in gratitude. I felt like I was having a panic attack as I cried, sobbing into my glass and my tears flavoring the wine. It was pathetic how long I cried, and Natasha would surely make some comment if she was here to witness it, like "How do you get water from stone? You knew Moses, right?"
Draining the now cold tub, I heard my phone go off. Picking it up, I sighed, "So you heard."
"I knew about it as soon as they brought him in, still frozen. He's alive," Phil said quietly and carefully, knowing SHIELD could be listening in, "Why do you sound like you've been crying?"
"Because up until an hour ago, I thought he had drowned 67 years ago with that damn plane. And no one told me they found him," I said, frustrated as I slipped my towel on, moving to sit down at my vanity to put on some lotion.
"You don't sound happy that he's back… And why did you attack him?"
"I thought someone was playing a prank on me, and then I knew it had to be him, because no one other than Peggy and you knew he called me Elle. Everyone else is dead," I said, twisting my ring around my finger, "And then-"
"You were mad because he left you. I get it."
"Did you want to meet him?"
"Not right now. He needs to adjust to modern life first, and he doesn't need to know me right now," He said, and I knew the real reason. Phil was worried Steve would be disappointed in him, which was insane. My son was a badass in his own right, never mind the slight cellular regeneration he got from Steve and myself. He stopped a gas station robbery with a bag of flour, after giving up his gun, and before the tank filled on his SHIELD issued car.
"If you're sure," I said, hearing the elevator coming up, but dismissed it when I didn't hear a knock at my door. It must be a glitch. Wouldn't be the first time it happened.
"I'm sure. Just... give him a chance. I know he hurt you, but this is a second chance for you."
"It's days like these that make me wish I could get drunk... or high. Anything to alleviate this pain, even temporarily."
"I know. I would take it for you if I could. Finish the bottle I'm sure you're already on, and we can talk later. Goodbye Colonel," He said, as I heard a passing conversation in the background. I heard the implied, "Love you Mom."
"Goodbye Phil," I replied before hanging up, a subtle, "Love you too my boy," in my tone.
I pulled on soft yoga pants, a sport bra and a flowing wine racerback tank top before I walked downstairs. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail, flipping on my stereo with my Spotify playlist, hating the silence. I had enough silence in my life. I grabbed a bottle of tequila, taking a long swig from the bottle making my way towards the living room. I needed the burn today. I stared out the window of my loft, taking another swig and setting the bottle down on the table beside the couch, drumming my fingers against it. Zeus settled at my feet, huffing as he closed his eyes to the April sun streaming through the window walls, and I focused on the music.
It takes so much out of me to pretend
Tell me now, tell me how to make amends
Maybe, I need to see the daylight
Leave behind the half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down
Oh lately, something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape?
I unrolled Rumlow's dead drop. Using my blacklight pen from my bag, I felt my stomach drop a little as I saw the symbol of my enemy. It glared back at me, confirming my worst fear. The reason I trusted so few people, the reason I kept Phil from public knowledge.
No escape from time
Of any kind
I looked over the skyline, sun shining brightly down on the city, and started crying again. I hadn't wanted to come back to New York, but it was where SHIELD started. It's where our story started. And now I had to deal with the rot inside of SHIELD. Or from what Rumlow has been telling me, Hydra. I knew bringing Zola in was a bad idea, but Peggy and Howard kept saying he wasn't a true believer.
The little rat died before I could wring the life from his body myself. He cost me Bucky, and it had taken everything in me to not kill him once Steve died. Or apparently didn't.
It takes so much out of me to pretend
Maybe, I need to see the daylight
Leave behind the half-life
Don't you see I'm breaking down
Lately, something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life
Is there really no escape?
No escape from time
Of any kind
Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Come on lets fall in love
Again
'Cause lately something here don't feel right
This is just a half-life,
Without you I am breaking down
Wake me, let me see the daylight
Save me from this half-life
Let's you and I escape
Escape from time
Come on lets-
Changing the song, I got up from the couch, grabbing the dead drop. Striding over to the wall, I pinned it to the dart board with one of my throwing knifes. Grabbing another eight from where they were stuck from my last practice, I positioned myself a good fifteen feet from the board. I yelled out as I threw the first knife, watching in satisfaction as it clipped another corner of the paper to the board.
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?
Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees,
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you wait for me?
Every knife left my hand with an expletive, or a scream, tears leaking from my eyes still despite my anger. I drank greedily from the bottle, retrieving my knives again and again.
I'm sorry, brother
So sorry, lover
Forgive me, father
I love you, mother
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel my heart? [3x]
I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink.
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim.
[3x]
Can you feel my heart?
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel... can you feel my heart?
I angrily turned off the stereo, dropping to the floor and began crying again. The dead drop was shredded long ago, and I had grown tired of my outlet. There was silence for a few minutes, as I sobbed. Zeus whimpered slightly, resting his head on my knees, sighing. I gave a soft chuckle amid my crying. As I drained the bottle of tequila, I cursed the stupidity of my youth and the serum. While not having it, I would be old and grey, or dead, but then I would still have the ability to get drunk to forget my pain. The pain had caused me to do almost anything to die after Steve put the plane down.
But I had done a lot of growing in the last 70 years or so. I learned so much about myself, and what I could handle. It had been hard, and days I wondered why I hadn't tried something more powerful in my attempts at ending my life. But Phil was my reason for not. Cause if I had succeeded, I wouldn't have him.
But the universe was trying to tell me something. Or it was laughing at me.
Knock, knock, knock.
"Elle? Please... It's me," Steve's voice sounds, and I shudder at the memories it brought up. The base in London, the pub, the penthouse, Bucky's death…The plane, mourning, anger…
"Elle, please," He said, sounding so desperate. I could imagine why. Suddenly, you are 70 years in the future, with no recollection of time passing. I at least, suffered the hell of watching the world change around me, while never changing myself. I mean, I couldn't cut my hair more than an inch or it would take 20 years to grow back. It was that slow. At least I didn't have split ends.
Zeus growled at the door, getting up to stand in front of me protectively. I snapped at him to go lay on his bed, and he obeyed with mild annoyance. The last time I heard the elevator was almost 15 minutes ago, so he had heard everything, all of my meltdown since Phil's call. I looked down the hall for a moment, before squaring my shoulders and padding over the polished concrete, down the hall to the door. I unlocked it, and rested my fingertips on the handle, before quickly opening it. I looked up at him, eyes hard taking in his relieved face, and blue eyes. What most people assumed about Steve, was that his eyes were only blue, but I saw the flecks of green in them. It reinforced the fact that this was really him, and I wasn't hallucinating.
"Elle," He breathed, moving to wrap his arms around me. It took everything in me to not kick and scream as he held me, but to wrap my arms around him, breathing in his scent. He was warm and familiar, even after all these years.
He pulled away from me to look me in the eyes, before leaning in. I heard the smack before I registered that I had raised my hand to him again. He held his cheek in shock that I had struck him again, twice in one day.
"I had to do it Elle," He said, realizing I was mad, "I won't apologize."
"Then we are at an impasse Captain. Because I think I deserve one after having to live almost 70 years alone."
He looked affronted for a moment before saying, "Elle, I was surprised to hear you are alive, let alone... As beautiful as the day I met you."
"Flattery will get you nowhere Steven," I said darkly, before padding across the hall into the kitchen. I heard the door close as I made it to the counter, grabbing my discarded wine glass, rinsing it out and putting it in the dishwasher.
"Elle, I am so confused right now. It's been 67 years since the war? The world upended itself and in the midst of all it, you're here. You're here. How?"
"I may be here, but that doesn't mean I will accept you back into my life with open arms. I learned how to survive on my own," I said, moving back to the living room, "I had no choice."
"Elle, please, stop walking away. Please help me understand. You are my wife," He said and I rounded on him snarling, "And you left me!"
He was silent a moment, so I turned to look out the window at the skyline, taking a few calming breaths.
"Why did you leave me?" I whispered, cursing the emotion in my voice.
"I did. I'm sorry I left you. But I had to put the plane down-"
"You broke my heart, and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'? I know damn well you had to put the plane down Steve, it's who you are. But you made a choice for me in that moment, to make me a widow instead of trusting that I could have helped you."
He looked ready to open his mouth again and I shook my head, before saying, "I have lived through 67 years, of watching our friends and family die, while I stayed young. It was purgatory of the highest order, watching the world change around you while you are frozen in time. Nothing about our situation has changed. You could have given me a moment to think, to suggest rigging something to the steering column while you grabbed a fucking parachute!"
"I didn't have time," He argued. I grabbed the wine bottle, throwing it at the back wall behind his head, as he ducked slightly in shock.
"Bullshit! You just couldn't live without Bucky," I bit out, turning back to him.
He paused; stunned at either my language or my accusation, but I knew I was right.
"I didn't want to live either, after you were gone. Howard wanted to put me in an institution, because I wouldn't stop trying to kill myself," I said, watching him pale.
"But nothing I tried stuck. Drowning, throwing myself off a cliff, shooting myself, a grenade, poison, slitting my throat... After the 53rd attempt, I had to accept that this was my hell, this was my fate. Because of my suicide attempts, I found out my cells were regenerating so fast, my natural aging cycle had been almost halted. I watched everyone turn old and grey, and then die. And I guess I did die, at least the Elizabeth you knew did," I sighed, moving into the living room and dropping onto a couch. Steve sat beside me, giving me room in between us. I guess he didn't want to be hit again.
"But you? You got to rest, to be at peace with Bucky, while I suffered. You were selfish Steve," I said, as he hung his head.
"It wasn't the end of the line for me though. It was cruel punishment. I had to leave for a few years, stay far away from New York. I did as you asked of me though. I went to see Robert and Mary," I said and he looked up at me, with eyes shining.
"Bucky had a letter for them and one for Rebecca. He asked his Mom to give me Grandma Anne's locket, because I was his bride too. He told them in that letter, about the three of us. I was sure they were going to scream at me to leave their house, for perverting their son's memory. I didn't know he did that, or I wouldn't have stayed for tea. They let me read it, and then I had to tell them that the baby Bucky mentioned had been a miscarriage."
"They brought me into the family as if I had been Bucky's wife," I said, wiping my eyes at the fond memory. Steve reached for my hand and I pulled back, "Please, let me get through this."
He nodded, waiting silently for me to continue. I told him about my promotion to Colonel and how Phillips distracted me with work, that he knew I needed it. My time in Greece, because after the war I needed a break, some perspective. Becca's marriage, her children, Peggy marrying Daniel and their children, Howard and Maria, Tony, anything I could think of. I told him how Jim got cancer, and Falsworth died of liver failure. Dugan was a heart attack, Phillips, Gabe and Jacques were of old age. I told him about the children and grandchildren, and for a few, great-grandchildren of the Commandos and how I was Auntie Elizabeth to all of them. I told him about Howard's death, and how the Commandos were disbanded after we founded SHIELD. The history of SHIELD was rich, so I told a brief overview of the last 60 years. But I wouldn't mention what I had just learned about my beloved organization.
I told him how my nephew was twice my physical age and flew around in a metal suit. And of the mild mannered physicist who turned into a giant green rage monster when provoked and the general that tried to restart Project Rebirth for selfish gain. The gods that descended on New Mexico, and how in the midst of all that, I found agents I really enjoyed spending time with outside of work. It took me over half an hour to get the condensed version out.
"And Tony told me to get a cat because I was lonely when everyone was on missions. I was all set to adopt a cat, but then I met this handsome boy. Zeus," I said, calling him come sit in front of my feet, "Was the sweetest thing I had ever seen. His previous owner was a kingpin in a drug operation that operated a dog fighting ring, and I rescued him from the pound. He is the biggest suck though, and protective of me. His breed is demonized for attacking people, but he only would if I was in danger, or I told him to. He comes with me to scare my recruits, especially with his spiked collar, but mainly he has a doggy daycare he is at while I'm at work."
"He seems… sweet," He said as the dog sniffed his fingers, before letting him scratch his head softly. I could tell Zeus was still a little wary of Steve. Heck, he even bit Clint's ass the first time he came over, but loved Natasha to no end. The dog was fickle with his love.
"Family," I said to Zeus, pointing at Steve, even though my throat felt tight with the word. He gave another sigh of mild annoyance, making me smirk and kiss the top of his head.
"Steve, I can forgive you for leaving me. I knew you had your reasons, however you justified them. But what you did has haunted me for 67 years. It shaped who I've become," I said, looking down at his hand, "I'm a ghost of the person you knew."
"I understand. You have every right to be angry though," He sighed in agreement.
"Did they have somewhere for you to stay?" I asked.
"I don't know. Fury had given the impression you'd be housing me. If not…"
"Well, I've got three extra bedrooms. I will have your stuff brought over," I said getting up and drying my eyes.
"Elle," he said, gently taking my hand. I stopped moving, as it traced up my arm to my shoulder, settling in a familiar weight. I couldn't help but lean into his touch, starved of affection for so long. Like Zeus had been with me for the first year, grateful for a normal life and actual love. He moved to step in front of me, gently lifting my chin so I looked into his eyes.
"Elle, do you not want me anymore?" He asked, eyes glassy with unshed tears.
I looked softly on him, "I would be lying through my teeth if I said I didn't miss you, every day. Or that having you near me didn't send my heart racing. Or if I said I didn't still love you with my whole being."
"Is that a yes? I still feel like I don't know how to talk to women," He teased.
"Right now, I don't know if I want to kiss you or throw you off a bridge."
"Can I pick?" He said, a slight teasing tone to his voice, unsure if I was being serious. I gave a sad smile, before slowly wrapping my arms around his neck. I could feel his heart beating out of control, as I said, "I've held onto my anger for 67 years. But they say holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
He nodded, before I said, "I couldn't... No, I can't be angry in this moment. The moment I dreamed about for so long, even if I thought it would be in death. You're here. I'm not hallucinating from blood loss, or carbon monoxide poisoning."
"I'm here," He whispered, carefully resting his hands on my waist.
I pressed my lips to his, feeling the tears leak out, as he kissed back. I moaned softly against him, as he drew me closer to his chest, threading his fingers in my hair. My hands found their way to his waist, fingers reaching underneath his shirt to trace his abs. I thought I had forgotten the dips of his muscles, but it was I shuddered as he traced his hand down my back towards my butt.
I pulled back, taking his hand again, and leading him upstairs to my room, telling Zeus to go lay down on his bed. Steve looked around when we got to my room, as I pressed a button for the privacy shutter. It covered the window, and the interior lights were dimmed by the slide of a switch. I looked at him and got his attention, before running and jumping into his arms. He met my mouth in a fiery kiss, tearing the shirt from my body, and sitting down on the bed to attack my neck. I sighed as I ground myself down on his lap, where his pants weren't tight enough to hide his growing member.
I climbed off of him, to start undoing his pants. He groaned as I had freed him and taken him in hand for a quick pump. He grabbed me and pulled me down on the bed, pulling my own pants down. I keened as he hastily ripped my sport bra over my head, taking one breast into his mouth, lavishing it while his hand found my center.
"Steve," I breathed, pushing him onto his back, and straddling him. I lined him up with my center and sunk down, crying out at being stretched this way for the first time in 67 years. Childbirth didn't count, it was completely different. He sat up to kiss me, whispering, "Go slow. I don't want you hurting."
"I need the pain," I said, locking my eyes with his, and I think he understood. I had to know it was real.
But I made it, panting and heaving as I adjusted. I looked into his eyes, rocking and lifting my hips, before gently riding him. He fell back onto the pillows, watching me with hooded eyes, low groans escaping his lips.
I hadn't been with a man since Bucky and Steve left to retrieve Zola, but I forgot how sensitive Steve made me. I dug my nails into his biceps, relishing in the sensations my body was experiencing, with Steve's fingers tracing up my inner thighs to gently rub my clit in time with our thrusts. I was trying to catch my breath as I felt the beginnings of an orgasm.
Steve apparently did too, because his hands were on my hips, guiding me down to meet his own. It got faster and harder, as I pulled him up for a kiss. He had other ideas, flipping us over and driving home over and over as he assaulted my mouth. I crashed over hard, moaning his name in between gasps for breath, and I felt him release inside of me. His body went limp, with weight settling on top of me that I missed.
"I love you," He said, kissing my neck tenderly, and up my jawline as we caught our breath.
"I love you too, you knucklehead," I said, crying as he pulled back to look at me. He withdrew from me, only to pull me against his chest, pulling the sheets over our bodies. He held me as I sobbed against him, and I felt his own chest rise with soft sobs every few seconds.
"Don't leave me again," I said, hating the insecurity in my voice, when I had calmed down.
"I know, I won't," he said, kissing my head, "If you had to live that long without us, I won't make you go through another day. I'm sorry I forgot my promise. But now, I'm really with you. Until the end of the line Elle."
"That's all I need to hear," I sighed, leaning up to kiss him again. He reciprocated gently, and I felt him stir again against my thigh.
I pulled back to look at him, wondering if this was a dream. After all of that, I still had my doubts.
"I'm here," He said, reassuring me, as he pulled me closer to continue our kiss.
Hours later when we were both too hungry to continue, I left him to relax in bed, while I made dinner. I turned on some tunes while I did so, singing along softly to the playlist. I could see the sun setting from the kitchen's windows, and I texted Fury to have Steve's things sent over ASAP. I would send for the stuff in storage tomorrow.
As I put the casserole in the oven, I got one back from Fury saying it was already in the hallway. I rolled my eyes, going to open the door, pulling in the few boxes and single duffle bag. I bit my thumb as I thought about opening the top one, shaking my head and taking the bag of clothes and hygiene products SHIELD provided up to him. He smiled at me softly, bringing me in for a kiss, before I left him to change. The music followed me as I thought about the last 12 hours of my life.
My phone rang and I looked down to the caller ID.
"Hello," I smiled.
"Hey, what's with the second heat signature at your apartment. I know it's not the mutt," The voice responded.
"ANTHONY EDWARD STARK, do not spy on me. And you know damn well Zeus is not a mutt," I growled, annoyed with my nephew.
"I can't help it, it's the suit. Hey, are you making food? Pepper is working late."
"Go home Tony. Stop spying you brat," I smiled; waving to what I thought was his suit in the distance.
"It's not spying when I'm making sure you are alright. Someone has to look out for you. Other than the dog. Like you did for me, even when I didn't want it," He said. I smiled at the subtle fondness in his voice.
"I love you Tony, remember that. I will introduce you to him soon, but please, give me some time. It's… this is the first time since the war I felt a semblance of happiness. Well, except the day you were born."
"Yeah, like I need a reminder you're an old warhorse. And of course, I'm awesome."
"And humble. Do you know what I do to recruits who call me an old warhorse? I make them eat their teeth."
"Okay, noted."
"I have to go Tony. I love you nephew," I smiled.
"Love you too," He said, before the line cut. I put the phone down beside my glass on the ledge.
I turned to go back inside, when I saw Steve standing there, looking at me with a very confused expression.
"Sorry, Tony likes to be a pain in the ass. He was ignored a lot as a child and makes up for it by being annoying and obnoxious now," I said, grabbing my phone and wine glass.
"You were talking to him, on that?"
I understood his confusion, so I asked, "Did they tell you any of what you missed?"
"No, just that I'd been asleep for almost 70 years and that the war was over."
"Oh boy, I have my work cut out for me," I sighed.
"I think Fury said something about assigning someone to get me up to date," He said, looking embarrassed, "But I don't-"
"No, no, no. That's a bad idea. They'll just assign some bimbo that barely knows how to operate a computer, let alone teach you the in's and out's of the modern world. I will teach you, because I know I had difficulty with things I didn't grow up with."
"Okay," He said, before striding forward to take me in his arms, giving me a fiery kiss, pulling back to hold me tight.
"Hey what's wrong?" Reading his body language like an open book.
"I feel really stupid. Something in the kitchen made a noise and I… jumped."
"Oh Darling that's-" I paused, realizing it was the first time I had used the term of endearment since he had put the plane in the water. His 1000-watt smile at the term melted the last of the ice around my heart. I buried my head into his chest, breathing him in.
"Let's make a list as we eat. I will get you a small notebook, to write down what confuses you, and we can go over the list each day after I'm off work," I suggested, looking up at him.
"That sounds perfect Elle," He smiled, as I heard my timer go off in the kitchen.
"I'm gonna start a salad. Do you want to help?" I smiled, pulling him back through the patio door to the living room.
"Sounds perfect," He said, as I looked back. He was a little mesmerized by the fridge, at the sleek metal and bright light inside. I got out a few veggies for the salad, gave him a cutting board and explained what I wanted. He got to work as I set the table, grabbing another wine glass as I refilled mine. I head banged a little to a new song, cleaning up a bit as I waited for the casserole to finish.
"So I noticed the boxes," Raising his voice over the music a bit.
"Sorry," I said, lowering the volume via remote, "I'm used to loud nowadays. My neighbors downstairs are an architect firm, that are usually gone by now."
"That's all there had been?" He asked sounding a little disappointed.
"I have the rest," I said sadly.
"The rest?" He asked, confused.
"I packed up your apartment and put it in storage. Mary and Robert let me take a few things of Bucky's, some I think you'd appreciate now as it would have more sentimental value for you. Howard was so sure he would find you. I… I was a little more cynical. If you had put it in the water, you might have drowned," I said, putting a fresh bowl of water for Zeus down. He ran at it, skidding to a halt and waited for his dinner, which followed shortly after.
"It wasn't the water. It was a-"
"Glacier, I know. I read the report after I left HQ," I said softly, "I'm sorry about my reaction. I first thought someone was playing a prank on me."
"I understand," He said, setting the finished salad on the table, as I reached into the oven.
"Shit, shit, shit!" I said, quickly pulling the dish out onto the stovetop and grabbing my wrist.
"What?" He asked, closing the oven door and looking me over.
"I was distracted by your ass, forgot the oven mitt," I smirked, hissing as I moved to run my hand under cool water. He smiled, "Do you forget the mitt often?"
"Not as often as you'd think, but yes, this isn't the first time. The last guy I had over was Clint and you couldn't pay me enough to stare at his ass," I laughed, checking the damage on my hand, "Should be gone in half an hour."
"Friend of yours?" He asked, and I thought I saw the green-eyed monster hiding behind his tight smile.
"And Agent that I work with. He's a top marksman. They call him Hawkeye. He's just a friend that likes to annoy me by hanging out in the rafters as I train recruits, firing foam darts at me," I said, grabbing the oven mitt and bringing the dish to the table. He nodded, and I thought I saw the relief roll off of him in waves.
"I never had anyone, after the war… after you for lack of a better term 'died'," I said, remembering not to mention Phil, knowing he would feel betrayed when he eventually found out, "It was hard enough to be without you. The thought of betraying your memory with a one night stand or even another guy… I didn't want anyone to leave."
"I'm sorry Elle," He said as we sat down.
"I know Darling. It was lonely, but I had work and Peggy to distract me. And Rebecca. She wrote me whenever I wasn't in the same city, making sure to include her parents in the correspondence," I smiled, remembering my sister-in-law fondly as Zeus came to rest at my feet under the table.
"I think that's where I want to start. To know what everyone was like after the war."
"I will tell you everything, but I might have to condense a bit. I know we have another 70 years, but I'd rather not chance it," I teased. He smiled, "Sounds like a plan."
I started humming the Star Spangled Man With a Plan under my breath, and he choked on his water laughing.