This is the last chapter. Yay!! This is for Killer Disco Queen, for whom this story wouldn't have been possible. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sticking with me until the end.
Disclaimer: Fruits Basket is property of Natsuki Takaya. Curses! It's not mine.
O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.O.
"Yo, Haru-kun! Catch!"
The water bottle made an almost whistling sound as it cut through still air. He reached his hand up and effortlessly caught it even though his back was facing the thrower. He brought it to eye level and unscrewed the cap with a smirk.
The source of the water bottle laughed. "I never get tired of seeing you do that. Think you can teach me that karate shit sometime?"
"It's not really karate so much as being in tune with my environment."
"Yeah. Karate," he insisted. Hatsuharu sighed, but a smile tugged at one corner of his lips.
He turned around and looked at his friend. Yoshi was about his age, with shaggy blond hair and more piercings than he could count. He also had more than a few intricate tattoos running up and down his arms.
They only started working together last year, and it had been a wild ride. Working in this modest but thriving tattoo and piercing parlor was chaotic and crazy, but most of all fun. Hatsuharu felt like he finally found his niche among these colorful characters he called his coworkers at Vivid Tattoo Parlor.
Hatsuharu dimmed the lights. It was time to close shop. It was only a Monday after all. They saw most of their clientele on drunken Friday nights and smoky weekends. No one was going to come in for a tattoo or piercing anytime soon. Weekdays, particularly in the beginning of the week, were always dead.
But Hatsuharu didn't mind. He really liked working here as a piercer and tattoo apprentice. It was fun and exciting, and he got to meet so many different people from all parts of Japan as well as the world. He once despised meaningless small talk, but it was a part of his routine every day. He had to exchange pleasantries to keep things light for the clients. Whether it was to soothe tears, or calm nerves, he had to play the part as the cool and collected big brother figure.
They had a lot of young teens that came in, wannabe gangsters and thugs. They had good hearts, but fucked up lives. Their damage reminded him so much of his own darkness. He made those misfits feel at ease when they came in. They just wanted to feel understood. He could relate far more than they would ever know.
Yoshi crossed his arms. The crucifix on his left bicep flexed. "Hey, I can trust you to close up shop, right? I gotta get outta here."
"Let me guess. Hot date?"
A smug smile. "With twins."
"Highly unlikely. You have zero game, my friend." He took a sip of the cold water before waving a dismissive hand. "Go. Don't stay on my account. It's not like I'm gonna snitch on you for leaving twenty minutes early."
"Cool." His friend gathered up his cross-body tote and swung the shop keys in his direction. He caught them again on the first try, much to Yoshi's exaggerated amazement. Hatsuharu's laugh echoed off of the walls as the door banged shut behind his wannabe Casanova buddy.
He was finally alone. He looked around once more. Portraits of intricate tattoo designs decorated the walls. The neon sign hanging outside gave the lavender walls a soft blue glow.
Hatsuharu stood up and walked over to the full length mirror on the opposite end of the room. He didn't look half bad. He was a little paler than usual because he'd just recovered from a nasty cold. He was almost as pale as his shaggy white hair. He touched above the piercing over his left brow. It was almost done healing. So was the one on his bottom lip. He liked how the silver ring glinted in the low lighting.
His body was bare of any sort of tattoo, which was a running gag among his coworkers. "How can you claim to be an aspiring tattoo artist if you don't have any ink, bro?" they'd joke good-naturedly. Hatsuharu always just laughed it off. He'd always considered it, but he couldn't think of anything he loved enough to get inked on his skin permanently.
But he was one hell of a piercer. They gave him that. And Hatsuharu really enjoyed it. It was fun to transform someone completely through self-expression. Tattooing would just be the next step to that.
He turned away from his reflection and pulled at his studded black collar. The time was ticking away so slowly without anyone to capture his attention.
The thought made him recall something bittersweet from his past.
"Well? Did I capture your interest?"
The memory made him smile but it wasn't without a bit of sadness. He could remember everything about her as if she were right in front of him. That night was still so sacred to him. It was the night their relationship changed. He sometimes wondered if it was for the better, or for the worse. Was it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? Having survived two major heartbreaks, he would have to call bullshit on that particular statement.
He thought back on his relationship history after Uo. There were only a few women who'd come close to making him feel like Uo had made him feel. But it never compared. She changed him.
But Hatsuharu still believed in love, and miracles, and cute puppies with bows tied around their collars for Christmas. His heart was forever young and naïve. But he liked to think that he was touched with some realism now. He knew that not everyone got their happy ending.
But he was okay now. He was convinced he had to learn his lesson the hard way. He couldn't force someone to love him back. He learned this with Rin, and Uo was heartbreaker number two who repeated the lesson. He was always thick-skulled. The thought made him smile darkly.
I should probably close up now, he decided. Usually, if a client walked in at the last possible moment, he'd welcome them in with a smile and the same care he'd offer someone who approached him during business hours. But it was clear that no one needed his services on a cold, gray Monday. He sighed in relief that he would be leaving soon.
But he saw a quick movement when he turned his head towards the glass door.
It was brightly lit outside, so the flash of color looked almost platinum. Against his better judgement, he walked over to the entrance to investigate.
He opened the door and inhaled deeply. It was so cold, but the change in temperature was soothing on his flushed face. He hadn't realized it was so stuffy inside the tattoo parlor until now.
He closed his eyes and sighed with a smile. All things considered, he had a good life. He didn't have love, but he was happy.
Even so, he stood in the doorway and waited. He wasn't quite sure what he wanted, or what he expected. But it didn't come, and it made him feel a bit deflated.
Stop hoping for a dream, he scolded himself. With a shake of his head, he stepped back inside. It was time to go.
He turned his back and set about cleaning up a bit before leaving for good. But the bell on the door rang, signaling the entrance of a potential customer.
"Um… Sorry, we're closed," he grumbled. He normally wouldn't be so rude, but he wasn't in the mood to entertain customers today. He just wanted to go home and sleep.
"…It's really you. Haru-kun."
That voice…
He slowly turned to face her.
Three years hadn't changed how he reacted so strongly to her presence. The time, distance, heartbreak… All of it fell away. He was just a young college kid in the throes of puppy love.
He couldn't believe it. Was Uo really standing in front of him? She was panting slightly from between rosy lips, and her eyes were all lit up as if he were a beloved Christmas present. Same blonde hair, long and silky. Her eyes were clear and bright, but changed somehow. Law school made her harder in some of the planes of her face. But she still had some softness, some hope of saving the world and believing in miracles.
Uo.
He wasn't confident in how to act around her. They hadn't spoken to each other in so long. Should he close off his emotions and brush her off like she'd done to him so many times? Or would acting as if everything was perfectly fine be too much of a pretense? He didn't know which approach to use with her yet. He studied her expression. Uo was an open book. She looked genuinely happy to see him. Almost as though she'd been looking for him.
Uo must've been having similar thoughts, because a storm cloud passed over her once sunny and open expression. She pulled her long arms closer to herself as if forming a barrier. She looked down at her shoes. There was hesitation in her body language. It spoke wordlessly with his stunned silence.
"I…," she began, faltering. A lock of blonde hair fell in front of her eyes. She tucked it back neatly behind her ear, but some strands escaped.
He managed to muster up a welcoming smile. "Uotani-san. It's been a while." He hated how his voice cracked with emotion, but he couldn't summon his former stoic self. Memories and feelings came rushing at him in waves. He wondered if she was feeling the same way.
Stop it, he chided himself. That's in the past. It's over.
She brought her face back to his line of sight. Uneasiness passed over her eyes for a split second before she locked that small burst of emotion away. But was the uneasiness from their agonizing and bitter goodbye? He wasn't sure.
But she wasn't deterred. She took a step towards him. "'Uotani-san'? Are we strangers, Haru-kun?" She'd tried to take on a nonchalant tone but there was a crack in the façade. She rushed to cover her fatal flaw. "Loosen up, will ya?" she laughed. "I thought it was you. Your hair is unmistakable. How are you? It's been…"
He waited for her to continue, but he knew the sentence would be left unfinished like a road block out of nowhere. She'd wanted to say, "It's been a while. How've you been?" like a normal set of friends catching up. But they weren't typical. Nothing about their relationship had been.
Uo caught her bottom lip between her front teeth. It was a gesture she'd do sometimes when she felt cornered. He used to think it was beyond cute.
Unfortunately, that hadn't changed.
"I'm sorry. I'm a terrible host. Um…" He paused to scratch the back of his neck. "Why don't I take your coat? You can sit down and we can catch up."
It was the right thing to say. To his relief, the awkwardness washed from her face and she smiled happily again. "You got any coffee by any chance?"
"Why don't I summon my butler to make you a fine Italian cappuccino, Your Highness?" he half-joked. It wasn't very funny, but she gave him a peal of laughter. It helped to soften the tense air around them. She wordlessly opened her arms up again. He came behind her and slowly slipped the gray trench coat from her shoulders. Underneath, she wore a flimsy white blouse with a loose bow at the neckline.
It was only a coat. Just a coat coming off of her shoulders. He was being a gentleman by taking it off for her. He tried to tell himself this. This isn't the most intimate thing we've done. And I'm getting all flustered over a damn coat? he scolded himself. But in this dimly lit, lonely tattoo parlor, the simple act of taking off this coat felt even more intimate. It was the outermost layer, the most protective barrier from the winter cold. And he was revealing her soft insides. He couldn't help but blush.
His fingers accidentally fanned over her bare shoulders. He pulled them away with a way too noticeable jerk. She'd noticed his tension. She reflected his feelings in the way her face flushed.
"Th—Thank you."
He was glad he wasn't the only one shaken up by her presence. He turned away to hang her coat neatly on the coat rack by the door. He handled the heavy garment with the utmost care, almost as if it were a precious prayer cloth. He paused a little too long at the doorway.
"Coffee. Right. I'll make you some. How do you take it?" he mumbled.
He could practically feel the question she wanted to ask foaming at her lips. But she didn't ask it. Instead, she replied, "Two sugars and a little cream. If it's not too much trouble."
"Not at all." This time, he confronted the danger of her gaze. He smiled. This time it wasn't forced. "Coming right up."
Moments later, he came back with a hot cup of coffee for them both. If an awkward silence sprouted up (and he had a feeling it undoubtedly would), he could consult the coffee cup for refuge.
She was perched on the purple velvet cushioned armchair. It was the tattoo parlor owner's special seat. But he wasn't going to usher her out. She wasn't a part of this history. She didn't know anything about this part of his life. In fact, she was a perfect stranger again. She knew his past, but not his present, and perhaps not even his future. The thought gave him an unexpected pang.
"One coffee. Extra hot. Just how you like it."
She accepted the china cup from his grasp. She didn't meet his gaze all of the way. "Thank you," she said to the left corner of his mouth.
He paused, agonizing briefly on the best seating arrangement for this particular exchange. Should he sit boldly in front of her, pulling up a chair and not letting her escape his presence? Or should he play it safe and sit at her side, so she could avoid his stare at her leisure?
He decided to pull up one of the chairs that sat along the wall, and brought it right in front of her. He turned the chair backwards and sat open legged in it. He leaned over the wooden back. He noticed he was at a distance that was a little too intimate for acquaintances. But he didn't want to back up. He watched as she brought the cup close to her lips and blew softly. He liked how her pink lips scrunched up in a kissing shape to cool her coffee.
I'm being so creepy right now, he told himself sternly, but he couldn't rip his eyes from her. His emotions were percolating in his veins and he couldn't stop them. Luckily, she was so concentrated on her coffee that she didn't notice.
"How long have you worked here?" she asked her cup of coffee before taking a small sip.
"Not long. About a year." He reached over to take his coffee cup. He always took his black. He was a purist. "I actually dropped out of college," he added sheepishly.
Her eyes widened. She was finally looking at him. "Really? But I thought—"
"Yeah. Well. Shit happens," he followed up lamely. He took a gulp that was a little too large for his mouth. The caffeinated beverage burned a hole through his tongue. He grimaced as he set the cup down. That would teach him to be impatient. "I only went to make my mother happy. She wanted me to be a strait-laced, suck up businessman. Make lots of money and make the family proud, y'know? But that's not me." He chuckled softly. "I'm not corporate. At all. I mean, can you imagine me in a suit, all stiff and robotic?"
He lit up when she chuckled in response. "Robotic, yes. Corporate? Definitely not. And I guess you sealed your fate with those never-ending piercings." Her eyes slid down to his lips. She touched her own as she did it. The gesture made him feel endlessly conflicted, but a little turned on. He wasn't sure if she was doing it on purpose to tease him or if it was involuntary.
He touched his lip too. "What do you think?" he asked lightly despite his pounding heart. He could feel his palms turning into liquid half from anticipation and half from nervous energy.
A warm pink tint lit up her face. It made him smirk. "For me? I don't know, I like to think I'm pretty hardcore, but maybe not hardcore enough for a lip ring. Didn't it hurt? You must be a masochist," she answered as if she only had a few seconds to speak and she was hurrying to get the gist of her thoughts out.
"I guess I'm used to pain. Some might say I run to it."
She laughed in hushed tones. "You always were a bleeding heart." She paused for a beat. "I like it. The lip ring. On you, I mean. It looks good."
The compliment made him grin. "Thanks."
"So what brought you here?" She swept a hand over the tattoo parlor when her mouth touched the word, "here." Her shoulders, which were anchored stiffly almost to her ears, were starting to relax.
"Hmm. That's a long story. I don't know where to begin. Ah, to make a long story short… I dropped out because I wasn't doing so well in school. Not only that, but I hated my major. Business bores the hell out of me. I thought changing majors would help, but it didn't. No matter what I pursued that would fall in the category of "family approved majors," it would lead me to a predictable and boring nine to five. I didn't want to live such a bland life, so I dropped out.
"But I made a good friend in college named Yoshi. He was a punk, like me," he reminisced with a laugh. "I first met him when he was in the middle of a fist fight. He hit on some wannabe thug's girl or something. He got his ass kicked. It was a shame. Well, I was just passing through, and all of a sudden, the thugs thought I was with him or something. So I saved the poor sonofabitch and we've been friends ever since.
"Yoshi was working part-time at a tattoo parlor. I'd gotten plenty of piercings here actually," he added as he gestured to his ears. They were covered in all kinds of glinting silver rings and studs. "I needed a job once my parents cut me off. I hadn't followed directions like a good boy, so that financial support I was once getting was done. I suddenly had to figure out a better living situation, and I had to make some money.
"I didn't have any experience at all in that field. But there was an apprenticeship available for aspiring piercers. Yoshi practically forced the job on me. It was always supposed to be temporary. The plan was to make some money to support myself, and try to pursue school once again. But I couldn't do it. I was having too much fun here." At this point in the conversation, he allowed himself a happy smile. "I actually looked forward to coming in every day. And now here I am," he finished with a final sweeping gesture over himself. "I'm a piercer and an aspiring tattoo artist. I sketch tattoo ideas all of the time for other people, but none for myself," he laughed. He couldn't contain himself. When it came to his passion, he just got swept away in emotion. "It's funny that I want to be a tattoo artist, but I'm basically a tattoo virgin. I don't even have a trashy lower back tattoo," he grinned. "But I'll get inked up soon enough, no doubt. Then I'll be ruined. No good corporation will want me."
"What a mastermind," she murmured. Her low tone did something funny to his stomach. "Too bad long sleeved shirts are still a thing. Unless you plan on tatting up your whole body."
He looked up from his cup of coffee. "How did you know?" he joked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I don't even know what I love enough to get inked on me, so it'll be a while until that happens. And I may not get clients for a while once I'm legit. So I'm sure I'll need to get at least a few visible tattoos.
"But I want to talk about you," he continued gently. "You're still in school right? How's that treating you?"
"Busy. Stressful. I still have a long road ahead of me. More schooling, passing the bar… all of that shit. But I love it. It's so interesting and it's something I really love." Her grin mirrored the one on his face earlier when he gushed about his job. "I get to argue professionally for a good cause. Can't get any better than that."
"It's funny. The former Yankee is cleaning her act up." He gave her a sideways smile. "What branch of law are you interested in?"
She beamed widely at him. "Juvenile delinquency. I want to help out misfits like me. Most of them are good kids in unfortunate circumstances. So if I can advocate for them, help them out and show them they're not alone… That's the best gift I could ask for." Her voice cracked on the last word. It was touching to see her emotion. She picked the best career path for herself. It was personal and meaningful for her.
"So everything worked out. I'm glad," he said warmly. He truly meant it. Everything he said was from his heart. He hoped she could hear his sincerity.
Uo smiled shyly at him. He could tell she loved the praise. She was glowing. "Thank you. It sounds like you're doing great too."
They locked eyes for a moment too long. It brought him back to their nights lying together. So silent, so still, but still so comfortable.
But then her face started to crumble, as though she were remembering something tragic from her past. "You're being so nice to me," she said in hushed tones.
He opened his eyes wide in shock. It was an unexpected twist to the conversation. "What do you mean?" he asked, though he knew.
"Come on, don't play dumb. You know." She paused. "I was a pretty big bitch to you before I went to college. We haven't even talked since then. But now you're being so buddy-buddy with me. Almost as if… we were real friends."
Her tone was wistful but also a bit deflated. He wanted to know the reason why. He leaned forward to catch her soft words. "We are friends, Uo," he said just as softly.
Uo brought her face closer to his. "Just friends?" she breathed.
The eye contact was too intense. He'd wanted to be platonic and gentle with her but she was bringing up past feelings that didn't feel so past anymore. He turned away and coughed. He decided to brush her question aside. He wasn't ready to unpack the answer for that loaded inquiry just yet. "I just didn't want to waste time being mad at you. Was I incredibly angry at first? Hell yeah I was. You completely tore me apart. You knew how I felt about you, and you ripped that apart. Those first few months without you were pure torture. It took me at least a year to make a breakthrough.
"But something a friend said to me started to make sense to me. You were trying to spare me. And I didn't understand that. Plus, I've been reading some books about Buddhism. There's entire chapters based on forgiveness for past mistakes and how you should extend compassion towards all. That helped me a bit I guess," he laughed.
She smiled, but it was steeped in embarrassment and a bit of sadness. "I wasn't very honest with you," she conceded as she avoided eye contact. "I thought I was being compassionate. But I hurt you. I'm
so sorry—"
He waved a hand over her apology. "Come on. It happened so long ago. Let's forgive and forget. It's what Buddha would do."
"You and Buddha," she giggled. She paused for a heartbeat before looking down at his lips again.
This time, he had to call her out on it. She kept looking there so often. "What, do I have something on my face? I mean, besides this beast right here," he asked huskily. Hatsuharu touched his lower lip, right by his new lip ring.
Bewildered, she snatched her gaze away from his mouth to make eye contact. "What?" she squawked, turning red.
"You've been staring at my mouth far too many times to count," he teased. Making Uo squirm was starting to become his favorite activity. He licked his lips slowly to get a reaction from her. She wiggled uncomfortably in her chair. "Mmm, did I get it?" he asked sultrily.
She said it under her breath, but he caught the, "Fuck," she swore as she stuck her hands between her knees. What are you thinking, Uo? he asked her in his head with an impish gleam in his eyes.
It looked like she was going to give him an honest answer, because her eyes flashed guiltily. She looked like a kid who was about to confess to eating all of the cookies. "I was just wondering how you do it," she mumbled.
"Hm?"
"How do you… you know… make out with that thing on your lip? I still like it," she rambled. "Just wondering how you do it. Ahahaha… Don't mind me. I'm just thinking out loud."
He couldn't pass this moment up. "Wanna find out?" he asked. He leaned in even closer. They were almost at kissing distance now. One small move forward and their lips would definitely touch.
Hatsuharu was surprised when she didn't move away. She was turning so many shades of red and pink, he could've sworn she was some strange blushing chameleon. It had been a while since he'd seen her face this close. It was weird, but good. It was like he was discovering her again. Eyes, nose, lips, cheeks. Everything was familiar but new.
Uo parted her lips slightly as her eyelids fell heavily over blue eyes. She was so open for him, so relaxed. He could've taken advantage of her lost guard, but he didn't want to be a jerk.
Correction. He wanted to. He wanted to take advantage. But he knew his place. It was time to end it. His heart raced as he backed away and gave her a goofy grin. "Hahaha. Just kidding," he lied. He raked his fingers through his shaggy hair. "Don't let me get away with that again. I might take it too far." He scooted his chair back and plopped down for good measure. They were a friendly distance away. This was how it should be. No messy feelings and heavy flirtation. It wasn't supposed to be anything more than a casual catching up. He had to stay in his lane.
Uo placed her hand over her heart. "I….," she started, but then thought against it. Instead, she laughed breathlessly. "You got me there. Haha. Guess I deserved it." But even through her joking and light tone, she looked almost disappointed.
"I haven't been making out with anyone lately, so I wouldn't know," he remarked wistfully as he touched his lip ring. "Maybe this guy scares the ladies off or something. But how about you?" He was itching to get out of the hot seat, so he turned the tables on the blushing blonde. "Any American boyfriends out there in New York City?"
Uo chomped on her lip. It flushed bright pink. "I didn't have much time to date," she confessed, blushing. "Law school is crazy. Everyone is so stressed, and trying to one-up each other. It's such a rat race. But I did go on a blind date recently. My friend set us up."
"But nothing came of it?"
"….No. It was… It just didn't work out."
He didn't want to press the issue, but he was still a little curious (and a little jealous, if he could be totally honest). "So nothing huh. Why not?"
She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here, under this rapid fire inquisition. "Ah, sorry," he apologized with a blush. "You don't have to go into it if you don't want to. I get it. It's… personal."
Uo smoothed her hair over her shoulder. It shone under the soft lights. He wanted to stroke it with his fingers, but he knew that would be strange, to put it mildly. She was bringing out all of his inner creeper thoughts. She examined her ends. "He didn't…."
She caught his interest. He perked up. "He didn't….?" he repeated slowly.
Finally she showed him her open and honest expression. It was no holds barred, full of longing and passion. "He didn't make me feel like you did."
He didn't know what to say to that. She stood up while he was paralyzed with shock. She made her way to one of the reclining chairs for customers and splayed herself over it.
Hatsuharu turned to look at her, confused. She'd dropped a bombshell on him, and now she was walking away. He didn't know what to say.
She finally sat up. "Come here," she called to him. Like a puppy eager to please, he obeyed.
She leaned back, this time pulling up her shirt slightly. He was transfixed by her pale white skin, and how cute her bellybutton was. He felt himself flush crimson when she loosened the ribbons by her neck. The tails fluttered open, exposing collarbones and a slight bit of cleavage.
He could hardly believe it, but there she was, offering herself to him like a virgin sacrifice. The wordless gesture was there. She didn't have to say anything. It was all implied.
We can't have sex at my job, we can't have sex at my job, we can't have sex at my job, he thought. This wasn't the time to fall into old patterns. That part of their lives was done. They weren't the same people they were three years ago.
"U—Uo, w—we can't do this," he sputtered. As tempting as it is, he said to himself, but he didn't think she needed to hear that perverted sentiment. He cared about not jeopardizing his job, but more than that, he just wanted to talk to her. They were getting to know each other all over again, and he didn't want to taint that.
She raised a cocky eyebrow at him. "Why not?" she pressed.
"Dammit," he cursed under his breath. He clenched his fists so hard, his nails created little crescents in his palms. He worked on squeezing and releasing his fists, along with taking a discreet deep breath. It didn't help. She still looked so good.
His mind raced, trying to pluck out the most reasonable explanation. But nothing came, except the most cliché one. "It's not right," he finished lamely. "It's disrespectful to you. I don't want to…" He racked his brain for the right word. "I don't want to take advantage," he finally said.
It was her turn to smirk. "It's disrespectful to pierce a customer's belly button?"
The words rushed at him, but he couldn't quite understand. "What?" he asked weakly.
To his surprise, Uo laughed long and hard. She even made a show of holding her bare stomach and bending at the waist to laugh in the direction of her thighs. "Ahahahahaha, what did you think I meant?" she asked with a knowing gleam in her cerulean eyes. "Pervert," she teased.
It was his turn to laugh a little. "You got me," he admitted sheepishly. "I must have a dirty mind. I'm sorry. But are you serious?" he asked. "I don't know if you know this, but the shop is closed."
She smiled back at him. "Will you make an exception for an old friend?"
"Emphasis on old?" he joked, which earned him a much deserved whack on the arm.
"I'm serious," she answered as she leaned back, her flat stomach even more taut. "I've always wanted a piercing but now that I'm going to be a lawyer, I can't get anything too obvious. I need something hidden. Why not a belly ring? Might be fun," she said lightly as though she were talking about a day at the beach instead of a painful piercing.
"You're crazy," he laughed. "Don't think I'm giving this away for free. And I expect a good tip." But he turned away to make the preparations. She wasn't backing down and neither was he.
He turned around, this time with hands safely equipped with black latex gloves. He came over to her with a tray full of glistening, freshly sterilized needles. He could make out the nervous gulp making its way down her slim, pale throat. He was surprised that she was so apprehensive.
He froze. "You're not joking with me again, are you?" he pressed, all seriousness as he set down the tray of needles on the small metal table by her side. He peered into her face for any traces of impish grins or twinkling eyes. But all he saw was a nervous but determined Uo. "I take my job very seriously. If this is a prank, better stop it now. I don't pierce without consent you know. You're either all in with me or all out."
They looked at each other silently for a few moments. The air practically buzzed with tension.
"How can you be nervous about getting a piercing when you were a rough and tough Yankee thug?" he wondered aloud with an amused half-smirk.
Some color rushed to her cheeks. "I—I don't know," she sputtered defensively. "It's a new experience."
He let her words settle in the air between them. The silence made her even more self-conscious. She ripped her eyes away. She touched her neck, a gesture meant to guard herself.
"If it's scary, you can back out now," he said gently.
"I think scary things can be the most rewarding." She gave him a piercing stare, more convinced and sure this time. "Don't you?"
He opened his mouth to speak but it was hard to get the words to roll off his tongue. He had no choice but to snap it shut. Hatsuharu sighed.
"You're determined, huh." He reached his gloved hand out. In a trancelike state, he found the side of her abdomen. He could only see her there, lying there exposed for him, so open and honest. It was different and more than a little scary. But it felt refreshing. It felt honest and real. This was the breakthrough he'd been looking for so long ago.
He'd seen her naked so many times, but rarely did she let him see this side of her. Her naked heart and soul, everything so bare. All of her emotions, no matter how conflicting and imperfect.
He wanted more of this side. So soft and vulnerable. Uo was always so tough and fiery. She didn't need anyone, or so she would tell everyone, even herself. He knew Kureno changed her. She'd let him in and it didn't work out. He knew better than anyone how badly that type of heartbreak was.
He had questions for her, and he sensed she wouldn't run from them. But something prevented him from speaking his mind. He wanted his body to talk to her. He ran his hand from the top of her exposed ribcage all the way down to her hip, just above the waistband of her jeans.
Wait…, a voice told him. I can't. This can't happen.
He jerked his hand away as if she were molten lava. "Shit. I'm sorry, Uo." His insides felt all creepy crawly. He never wanted to be "that guy," that weird, creepy bastard that took advantage of women's weaknesses at every turn. From the moment she requested the piercing, their relationship had to change to suit the environment. They had to be "client" and "piercer," and he'd forgotten that. He was invested far too much in her life and feelings to treat her so clinically.
"I shouldn't have done that," he continued. "I'm so sorry. That was out of line. Not very professional at all. And just so you know… I don't make passes at clients like that. Ever." He was rambling and he knew it. It was so mortifying. The room felt so heavy and hot. He swiped at his brow in what he hoped was a casual gesture. When he pulled his hand towards his line of sight for further inspection, he saw big globs of perspiration. He grimaced. Now he just looked like a liar liar pants on fire with all the heavy sweating and rambling.
He expected her to pull her shirt down and hop out of the chair. He wouldn't have blamed her. She asked for a service and here he was, stroking her stomach. It was weird at best and downright creepy at worst. And it was leaning towards the "worst" side.
But she didn't. Her cheeks were tinted pink, and she looked a little bewildered, but she made no moves to cover herself. She even traced his earlier gloved path down her stomach. "It's fine," she assured him softly.
"No. Not fine. We're not… like that. I got out of line." He sat down in a nearby chair and threw his head in his hands. His heartbeat hummed in his chest. "Can I have a do-over with you?"
He looked up just in time to see her bite on her fingers, a nervous habit he was all too familiar with. "There are no takebacks in life, Haru. You know this," she answered in a voice just above a whisper.
"I know. I was really out of line. Dammit. I swear I can be professional about this. You just… shook me up. I'm just remembering so much about you. But I'm in the right mindset to do this… if you're still interested." He cracked a smile at her to ease the tension. "I'd be honored to pierce you. But only if you're ready."
She peered back at him. "Are you ready?" she challenged him.
Hatsuharu took a deep breath and released it. "Yeah, I'm ready."
Uo tied her hair up into a ponytail. She leaned back once more for him. "Then show me what you got."
Hatsuharu walked once more to the sink, removed his gloves, and washed his hands thoroughly. He felt his client-ready persona slide into place. He'd adopted some of his early White Haru stoicism, mixed with a bit of charm and friendliness, in order to put his customers at ease. He had to show her that he was a professional. He wasn't the same fumbling, struggling young kid he once was.
Once he pulled some new gloves on and spun around, it was as if he was a new person. "First time?" he asked cheerfully as he approached her.
Uo played along with him. "Yeah. I'm a little nervous," she admitted.
"Don't worry. It'll be over before you know it." He turned to his array of needles. "Don't get too freaked out now," he said in soothing tones as he reached for a sealed packet of disinfectant wipes. "I'm going to sterilize the area. It's just going to feel a little cold, that's all. After this, I'm going to make some markings for where the piercing will go. You'll get to look in the mirror to make sure you feel it's straight. Sound good?"
Uo nodded. "Thanks, Haru," she whispered, looking up at the ceiling.
He'd done this procedure so many times with so many clients. And while Uo was a special case for him, he set those feelings aside for now to focus on the task at hand. He made light conversation with her, which she responded to in turn. At each step, he explained what he was about to do so that he could make her feel comfortable. Her tense muscles softened and she was even laughing with him.
"Now, you're going to feel the needle," he warned her as he picked up a particularly long, scary one. It glinted under the soft lighting. "Count to three with me, take a deep breath, and blow it out. It should help with the pain. Ready?"
"Yes." Uo attempted to look down at her belly button.
"You're brave," he remarked. "Most people don't want to look."
"I trust you. But I want to see for myself."
"I don't blame you. Ready to count?" At the same time, they murmured the countdown. "3...2…1."
"Breathe in deeply," he instructed. She followed his command perfectly. "And now."
As she breathed out, he inserted the needle. Uo hissed and clenched her fists, but she took it like a champ. Once he removed the needle, he inserted a silver studded piercing in her belly button.
"It's done," he announced proudly. Hatsuharu turned to dispose of his gloves. He washed his hands again (couldn't be too careful), and put on yet another pair of gloves. "Wanna see?" he grinned.
The look on Uo's face was priceless. She was so nervous and a little unsure before. Now she just looked like she'd experienced a huge rush. She was glowing.
He picked up a hand mirror to give her a better view. He positioned it right below the new piercing. "What do you think?" he asked expectantly. "Everyone heals differently, but it should heal in a couple of months."
"I love it," she gushed.
"You're going to love shopping for new rings and jewelry. Lots of cute stuff to choose from. Once you're all healed, the world is your oyster," he assured her as he helped her up.
Hatsuharu ran through the usual new piercing aftercare routine as he brought her to the register. He gestured to the glass case of pretty studs and dangly jewelry for her to peruse. She decided on a crystal butterfly with some pink gems dangling at the ends. It was a surprisingly girly choice for her.
"Didn't pin you down as a butterfly type of girl. It's so delicate," he snickered.
"I can be girly," she insisted with a huff. Her defensiveness made him laugh.
Hatsuharu suggested some products to ease the pain and keep the piercing disinfected and clean. He was the master of aftercare, or so he liked to think. Uo ended up purchasing the butterfly belly jewelry, some saline solution, some bandages, and the piercing. Uo gave him a hearty tip despite his protests.
"You're a great piercer, Haru. You know what you're doing, you're good at it, and you love it," she told him softly. "I can tell that you were meant for this." She grinned. "And when you become a tattoo artist, I'd like to be your first customer."
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently, gesturing in the direction of her stomach.
"You know what? It didn't hurt as badly as I thought it would."
"Really? Because you sure were scowling a lot."
"Idiot," she snickered as she playfully swatted his bicep. "Go easy on me, will ya?"
"Never," he fired back, eyes mischievously gleaming. "You weren't very easy on me. You deserve it."
He handed back Uo's credit card. The transaction was over. He'd say something cliché and general like, "It was good seeing you, Uo. We should hang out sometime." And she would smile politely and follow up with, "Yeah, let's do it." But they wouldn't. She would go back to America to finish college and he would be firmly rooted in Japan. It was always their path, to be these floating apparitions in the corner of each other's eyes. Barely noticeable, just passing through.
His hand lingered a beat too long in hers. He blushed. He knew he should've pulled away. He was going to pull away. But as he did, her slim, cold fingers found his and clenched down firmly.
Surprised, he looked up. "Uo-chan?" he called softly.
"Is this goodbye?"
The question caught him off guard. "What?"
Some hair escaped her ponytail. With a sweep of her hand, she slipped her hair tie off of the platinum strands and let it fan over her face. She quickly smoothed it away with her free hand, but a lock of hair rested in its usual spot over her left eye.
Hatsuharu couldn't help but smirk. "Well aren't you dramatic?" he joked even though his heart was hammering in his chest. He pressed the card into her hand, urging her to take it. But she wouldn't do it. She made their palms kiss even harder instead. The credit card was starting to form a rectangular film of sweat between them.
Finally, the slippery plastic fell from their hands and clattered to the counter. Neither of them noticed.
"Can I ask you something?"
She smiled. "Anything."
"Why did you push me away so many times?" As soon as the words died on his lips, he couldn't help but smirk darkly. "Why am I asking such a stupid question. You weren't in love with me. Simple as that."
"…I wasn't in love with you. At first. Not the way you were in love with me. It was so scary for me. Your emotions were so intense. They washed over me so powerfully. I didn't feel confident that I could return those feelings. That's what I told myself.
"When we last saw each other, I was determined to end it. It was always supposed to be light and fun. I was attracted to you. There was something about you that I liked. We were so much alike. But I couldn't love you like you needed to be loved. I was scared, and I know that's so cliché and lame to say. But it's the truth. I didn't want to get hurt again, Haru," she said brokenly. "Kureno-kun already hurt me so badly. If I fell for you, it would be trouble. But…"
"But…?"
"It was too late. It was a mistake. Leaving you in that apartment where we made so many memories together, dropping that bombshell on you… it was wrong. I thought I could let you go with that plan. But it didn't work. I didn't want to admit it. Hell, I never wanted to admit it. Haru… I was already in love with you."
Those words. The ones he wanted to hear from her lips for so long. They sounded like angels singing and children playing, all of the most treasured and cherished sounds in the world.
"What was that? I didn't hear you."
Her face dropped. "Were you even paying attention? You weren't, were you," she accused him with another slap to his arm. "You just want to make me suffer don't you. I'll say it again a million times if I have to. I was in love with you then and I'm in love with you now. I love you, Haru."
He turned to hide his goofy smile. The woman he couldn't stop thinking about was in love with him too.
And she was leaning in closer and closer. He could smell her jasmine perfume. She puckered her lips and looked at him longingly from beneath her lashes.
But he was feeling playful. He grabbed her head and stopped her before she made contact with his lips.
Uo's eyes fluttered open. Bewilderment ran through her face as she looked at him wide-eyed. "Haru?"
He raised his eyebrow at her. "Oh, don't think you're gonna get to me so easily."
"What?"
"Heh. What, you think you can just strut in here after three years and just have me eating out of the palm of your hand just like that? Do I look that easy to you?" Hatsuharu lifted his chin and looked down at her with sparkling eyes. The left side of his mouth slid up his face, revealing a deep dimple. "You gotta try harder than that, Miss. Lawyer."
He liked how her cheeks grew warmer and warmer under his touch. "What, are you playing hard to get or something?" she joked.
"Oh, yes. After all the hell you put me through, I think I deserve to play a little hard to get."
"That's not very Buddhist of you."
"Even Buddha was petty at times, I'm sure."
Uo's laugh rang through the empty tattoo parlor. "You're the worst," she told him.
He leaned in just a hair closer. He made sure to let his warm breath coat her lips. He wanted to taste them right then, but he liked making her wait. He searched her expression. No more secrets and veils. No more walls of defenses or spiraling towers meant to keep him away from her emotions. She didn't have to say anything. He saw it all. She was being real with him. She regretted leaving. She wanted to have him, and not just for lonely nights or drunken hookups. She wanted everything. The good and bad. The exciting and the mundane. Coupledom. Love. Affection. A relationship that wasn't in the dark.
He wanted it too.
He brushed her lips lightly with his thumb. It made them part slightly. She needed this. A kiss to seal the deal. Seal their fate. To stamp their relationship.
"I won't kiss you," he breathed against her lips, making her shiver. "I want to go slowly with you."
And with that he pulled away and handed Uo back her card, seemingly unfazed. She blinked twice in his direction. Uo was dazed and confused, but she took her card back with shaky fingers and slipped it back into her wallet.
"I probably deserve it," she smiled darkly. "I wasn't very good to you."
"Hmm. Crocodile tears don't work on me, Uo-chan. Try harder," he grinned.
"How?" she pressed him. "I'm telling the truth."
He raised his eyebrow again. "How can I be sure? You've strung me along so many times. Broke my poor little heart, you know."
"Arghhhh. I can't win with you," she groaned, but she was still amused. "How can I win with you? I don't know how to play the game you're playing with me."
"Sure you do." He paused. "You start by courting me."
The response made her do a double take. "What?"
He could barely suppress his chuckles. "You have to court me. I want a date. A real date. All showy and romantic. Flowers and all. Expensive dinner too. What do you say?" He was all seriousness now. The amusement left his eyes and his face was set in a determined expression. "Why don't we try dating?"
Uo's half-smile made him melt. "This is pretty backwards you know."
"Hey, just because we've done everything physically doesn't mean we've done it emotionally. Well, what do you say? Do you want to go out sometime, Uo-chan?"
She closed her eyes and smiled. When she opened them, they were glossy with grateful, happy tears.
"Yes."