"Mary Margaret!" Eva cried out as she opened the front door and hugged her daughter. "How are you?"
"I'm good mom," Mary Margaret replied as she gently pulled back. "You remember Emma, right?" she asked, gesturing to her roommate by her side.
"Yes of course, we met when I was up for parents' weekend," Eva stated as she gestured to the two girls. "Well come in, let's get out of the cold. How was the drive here?"
"Not bad," Mary Margaret said as Emma glanced at some framed family photographs on the nearby wall. "Though Emma's car had some trouble making it up a few of the steeper roads."
"It got us here, didn't it," Emma said defensively, since she was quite protective of her bug.
"Is Dad home?" Mary Margaret asked her mother.
"He'll be home later tonight. He's taking off from work Christmas Eve until the day after New Year's Day, so he's going to be working late tonight," she informed the two of them. "How are things with your boyfriend?"
"David's good," Mary Margaret replied, blushing as she often did when talking about him. "He said he might come by to visit for a day during break."
"Wonderful. I can't wait to meet him," her mother happily replied.
"Okay, we're going to go to my room and put our stuff away," Mary Margaret said.
"Alright. Emma, I guessing you'll be sleeping in Mary Margaret's room. If you want your own space I'll put fresh sheets on the sofa bed in the den for you."
"I'm fine wherever," Emma said, not wanting to be a burden. "I'm just happy to be here."
"Okay," Eva said with a frown, put off by Emma's vagueness. "If you need anything just ask."
"We will," Mary Margaret stated. She and Emma walked up two flights of stairs and went into the last room down the hall. "Here we are."
"Not bad," Emma said as she took in the various knickknacks and objects one has to personalize a bedroom. She noticed a framed high school diploma and tassel on the wall, next to a framed picture of Mary Margaret in a graduation cap and gown standing next to three similarly dressed girls. "Friends of yours?"
"What?" Mary Margaret asked as she set her bag on top of her bed, before she saw that Emma was talking about her graduation picture. "Oh, yeah, my high school crew. Katie, Jenna, and the one on my left is Lisa. I haven't seen them at all since the end of summer. I should see if they're back home for break. We can all try to get together."
"Yeah sure," Emma said vaguely, since she wasn't sure how well she'd fit in with Mary Margaret's high school friends. She looked around, noticing a certain poster next to the bed. "Is that a Boy Meets World poster?"
"Shut up," Mary Margaret said, a bit embarrassed over her childhood obsession. "It's a good show. I used to watch reruns all the time on Disney Channel as a kid. And I thought Shawn was dreamy."
Emma chuckled over that one before stating, "Yeah alright, I can see that."
XXXXXXXXXXX
Regina lay on top of her childhood bed, staring up at the ceiling. She had arrived home from school this afternoon, taking a cab straight from the bus station to the mansion. Her mother was still at work when she arrived at the empty house. So she called to tell her she was home before going to her room to mull over her thoughts.
She ran over in her head her last session with Dr. Hopper, particularly about forgiving herself for her father's death, and her mother for Daniel's. She was torn between what to do. Despite what her therapist had told her, a part of her still felt she deserved the pain she felt as punishment for what she had done. But there was another part of her that truly felt she should forgive both herself and her mother for what had happened. That if she did it would lift the burden inside of her and allow her to finally move forward.
Can I really do it, she thought. Forgive her and myself? On the surface it seemed so easy. But it was something she had agonized over ever since that therapy session. She was actually shocked to learn she had aced her last final, since when she took it all she could focus on was that session. She had analyzed every part from every angle, and still she was conflicted on what to do and how to do it. She couldn't even decide if it was going to be easier to forgive her mother or to forgive herself.
She snapped out of her thoughts as she heard the front door open, signaling that her mother was home. She waited as she heard footsteps come up the stairs, not sure if she wanted to see her mother right now or not. The decision was taken out of her hands once she heard a knock at her door. "Regina, it's your mother." Without waiting for an invite the door opened and her mother walked in. "I need to talk to you," she said seriously.
"Okay," Reina said as she pushed herself up against the headboard, able to tell her mother was not pleased.
"I'm letting you know right now that this, is no longer acceptable," Cora stated as she waved her hand at Regina. "Barricading yourself in your room and never coming out. Between that and screaming at me over every little thing, Thanksgiving was a disaster. I won't have it again."
"But mother-" Regina began.
"No!" Cora yelled, cutting her daughter off. "You're not the only one whose been dealing with this. I lost my husband. And Zelena also lost her father. His death has been hard for all of us. But you've had over a year to grieve. And unlike you we're tried to move on with our lives, or at least have put on brave faces in front of others. So I'm telling you right now you're not going to spend all your time in your room this Christmas, and you're certainly not going to snap at me over every little thing. Cousin Clara and her family are coming here tomorrow, and then we're having a party on Christmas Eve and Christmas day, where a lot of family members, friends, and my work colleagues will be here. And I expect you to be the perfect hostess over the holidays. Polite, courteous, and above all civil."
"Like Zelena," Regina said under her breath.
"Yes, like your sister," Cora replied, having caught Regina's remark. "Speaking of which, I have to pick her up at the train station in a little bit. You're free to spend tonight in your room if you wish. But starting tomorrow, you're going to shape up and not embarrass me. Do you understand?"
"Yes Mother," Regina softly replied, not daring to challenge her.
"Good. I'll be back later." With that Cora walked out of her bedroom, leaving Regina to her thoughts. Regina gripped her bedding tightly, trying to keep her body from shaking in rage. What the hell is she thinking, Regina thought. I'm in pain and she expects me to play hostess and be the 'perfect daughter'. I'm working through some major issues and she just wants me to not embarrass her. All she cares about is me being the 'perfect daughter', like Zelena. I love her, but it's hard living in her perfect shadow. She's the perfect one and I'm just the black sheep.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"And this is me and David on the quad," Mary Margaret stated as she scrolled to another picture on her lap top as she showed her mother her college pictures.
"Oh, you two look so cute together," Eva happily exclaimed.
"I know," she said as the two women giggled, neither catching Emma roll her eyes as she sat next to them on the couch.
"I'm home," Leopold called out as he entered the house.
"We're in here," Eva called out from the living room.
"Dad," Mary Margaret happily exclaimed as she got up and hugged her father. "How are you?"
"I'm good princess," he said. He warmly greeted his wife before noticing Emma. "Hello. You're Mary Margaret's friend, right?" he asked, as he had been unable to attend parent's weekend.
"Friend and roommate," she awkwardly stated, as often unsure on how to act around parents.
"We were looking through pictures from school," Mary Margaret explained. "Do you want to see them?"
"Sure." He leaned over the couch as his daughter resituated herself and resumed clicking through the photos.
"And this one is me, Ashley and Ruby at the diner they work at. And this one is me, Emma and Ruby in my room."
"Who's that?" Leopold asked as he pointed to the girl in the background.
"Oh, that's my other roommate Regina. She's…my roommate," Mary Margaret simply said.
"That's a cute dress you're wearing in that picture. Where did you get it?" Eva asked.
"I found it at a thrift store when I went shopping with Ruby and Belle."
As Mary Margaret and her mother chatted neither of them noticed Leopold staring intently at the picture. Emma looked at him, noticing the lustful look he had on his face as he gazed at the image of Regina. As their eyes met he glanced away, trying to look nonchalant at being caught staring at a girl young enough to be his daughter. Emma frowned at him, feeling quite uncomfortable over what she had just witnessed.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hey," Zelena said as she knocked on Regina's door frame. "When did you get home?"
"Around three," Regina coolly replied. While she normally enjoyed being around her sister, right now she'd prefer not being in her presence. Not when their mother wanted her to act like the 'perfect' older Mills daughter did.
"I'm so glad finals are done," Zelena exclaimed. "I can use the break. I spent every night in the art lab for two weeks working on my final drawing for my art class and my professor gave me B+. This other girl's drawing looked like a five year old drew it and she gets an A. Wouldn't be surprised if she got it cause she's sleeping with him. Anyway, how are you? How's school?"
"It's fine," Regina said dully, not wanting to get into all the angst she'd been going through. "I'm just glad to be away for a few weeks."
"You and me both," Zelena stated as she sat on the end of Regina's bed. "Have you talked to Mom yet?"
"Yup. She said we're having a bunch of people over here for the holidays."
"She told me the same thing when she picked me up from the station," Zelena said in frustration. "Did she tell you that Grandma Georgian is coming by?"
"No!" Regina yelled out in shock, dreading this piece of news. Their grandmother (the one from their father's side) was quite possibly one of the most vile and unpleasant people to have ever existed. No one could stand her, especially since she loved stirring up trouble. Get her in any family setting and she'll needle and push people's buttons simply for her own amusement. And to make matters worse she was the secret keeper of the family, knowing everyone's dirty laundry and indiscretions. And she always knew how to use her knowledge of the family to hurt others. She always said she was just 'getting things out in the open', but it wasn't hard to see through her facade. "Why the hell is she coming here? I thought Mom said she'd never have her over again after Daddy's funeral?"
"Apparently she found out Mom was having people over for the holidays and invited herself over," Zelena explained.
"This sucks," Regina exclaimed.
"Tell me about it," Zelena said in disgust, since she couldn't stand the woman at all. "She loves to torment me. Remember when we were kids and she'd sent us Christmas gifts, and she always made sure your gift was better than mine. That one year you got that robotic toy cat and I got an old frayed scarf that she probably got at a yard sale."
"I don't need this," Regina said, not having paid attention to Zelena's story. "First Mom said I have to be the 'perfect hostess' during break. And now Grandma Georgian is coming over. This is going to be a nightmare."
"She's not that bad to you," Zelena reminded her younger sister. "I'm the one she torments."
"This sucks," Regina reiterated, again not paying attention to her sister. "I'm trying to deal with things and Mom lays into me the second she sees me. I wish she treated me like she treats you."
"What?" Zelena asked in confusion.
"You have no idea how lucky you are. No matter what I do it's never good enough for her. Mom always has to nag me and push me. You she just leaves alone. She never yells at you, she never berates you. You're the perfect daughter and I'm just the screw up."
Zelena took a deep breath, her eyes blazing as she looked at her sister. "You stupid bitch."
"What?" Regina said, confused by her sister's reaction.
"Is that really what you think? That mom treats me this way because she loved me more. You're the one she loves. You're the favorite."
"What are you talking about?" Regina asked.
"Did you ever stop to consider that she pushes you because she cares? She wants you to be the best, and that's why she's always on your case. But she pretty much ignores me. No matter what I do it doesn't matter in her eyes, because I'm just her bastard."
"Don't say that!" Regina yelled.
"It's true. You're the legitimate one. I'm just the mistake she got burdened with. What you call 'treating me like the perfect daughter' is just ignoring me because I was her mistake. So why don't you consider other people's feelings before you run your big fat mouth." With that Zelena stormed out of her sister's room, slamming the door behind her.
Regina sat there in silence, shocked at what had just transpired. She had always thought of Zelena as the cool one, the put together Mill's daughter who had it all together. But now she saw her as a girl in pain over her very existence.
She mulled over what she had just heard, and the 'family secret' that lay before them. It had all started when they were both seven and nine, respectively. They had been at a family gathering and had overheard Grandma Georgian refer at Zelena as 'Cora's bastard child.' They asked their parents about it on the way home, and while they were upset about it, their parents insisted it meant nothing and refused to elaborate further. The two sisters did their own investigating, and eventually gathered together a rough estimate on what had happened. It seemed that their mother had had a one night stand just before she met Henry. They started going out and after a couple months Cora learned she was pregnant. Once he was told Henry immediately proposed and they married not long after. From the beginning Cora was honest with Henry and told him there was a chance the child wasn't biologically his, a fact which was proven once Cora gave birth (red hair wasn't a trait that ran on either side of the family.) But Henry didn't care, and raised Zelena as if she was his own.
They confronted their mother about it right after they discovered the news. She assured her children that she and Henry were their parents and nothing would change that. And as time went on it pretty much became something people knew, but just didn't talk about. Regina didn't even really think about it. But apparently Zelena did.
Regina felt ashamed as she realized she had never really taken Zelena's thoughts into consideration. How her sister felt over her parentage, over the fact that she had lost a father also, over everything. She had always been so wrapped up in herself, even before she lost Daniel and their father. She just assumed Zelena was alright because she always acted like she was. But now she realized that her sister was going through her own issues too. And she hadn't been there for her when she needed her.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
God this is painful, Regina thought as she sat on one of the couches in the drawing room. It was always awkward seeing her extended family. As it was she hadn't seen this many of her relatives since her father's funeral. First Cousin Clara and her family arrived yesterday, leaving the Mills women to deal with that nonsense (their youngest son had a cold and was constantly getting snot everywhere, and their daughter was fidgeting to the point where it seemed as if the girl had ADD.)Then starting this morning more relatives began trickling in for Christmas Eve. Uncle Ken from their father's side, Aunt Eliza and Uncle Davis from their mother's side, Grandma and Grandpa Hershey, Cousin Marcus and his family. And that didn't count the people who weren't sleeping over, like family friends and her mother's coworkers. Regina felt stifled having so many people in the house. True, they had plenty of room at the mansion for people to gather and even stay (there were five guest rooms available, along with fold out couches in the den, living room and home office.)But since there generally were only a few people living there it suddenly felt suffocating to her.
"Regina," her mother said testily as she pointed to an empty tray on the coffee table. Regina resisted the impulse to roll her eyes as she got up and took the tray to the kitchen. As she entered she saw Zelena with a tray of drinks in her hand. Before she could say anything her sister walked out of the room, avoiding eye contact with her.
Regina sighed in frustration as she put more bagel chips on the tray and filled the dip cup with crab spread. Ever since her outburst Zelena had been actively avoiding her sister. Regina had tried talking to her, but Zelena was refusing to speak to her. And once their relatives started coming there wasn't a chance for them to have a heart to heart.
Regina went back and set the dip tray on the table when the doorbell ring. An ominous chill ran down her spine as she went to answer the door. "Hello Grandma," she said with fake politeness.
"Regina, darling," Grandma Georgian stated as the town car that brought her over sped away. "Come on, get out of the way. Don't keep an old woman out in this cold."
"Of course, sorry. Let me take your bags," Regina said as she grabbed the two suitcases and stepped aside as they strode into the mansion. "How have you been?"
"As well as can be expected for a woman my age," Grandma Georgian scoffed as she looked Regina over. "I'm glad to see college hasn't widened your figure. Most girls pack on the pounds when they go away to university. Though I can't say that hairstyle you have suits you. You looked so much better when it was long, instead of that hatchet job you have now. Whatever made you decide to hack it off like that? College impulse?"
"I cut it last year in high school," Regina said in confusion, since she didn't think shoulder length hair was that short.
"It much have been after the funeral then. Terrible tragedy, of course. Anyway, I hope you will decide to grow it back out. I've always thought short hair on women makes them look rather dykey. And you don't want to give off that impression if you're trying to attract a good man. You know what they say, get them while you're young and desirable. Otherwise you'll find yourself alone and forgotten. And smile, no one likes a sad girl."
With that she made her way to the rest of the guests, leaving Regina to mull over that uncomfortable encounter.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Oh, I love this part," Mary Margaret exclaimed. It was Christmas day and the Blanchard family (and Emma) were watching the movie White Christmas, which they did every year.
"You love every part," her father stated.
"She just likes the movie," her mother said. "I'm sure when she has children they'll sit around and watch it also."
"Yeah, that's probably what will happen."
Emma sat at the end of the couch, feeling out of place over this family exchange. As she saw Mary Margaret rest her head on her mother's shoulder Emma focused on the television, trying not to feel jealous over the bond her friend had with her parents.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Regina stood by the wall, sipping her glass of sparkling cider. She really wanted to go to her room. Hell, she'd even take joining the little kids in the game room who were watching a Disney movie. But no, she had to stay here and mingle with the adults.
As she sipped her drink she thought again about her sister, and how terribly this holiday was going for her. When everyone had woken up that morning they had all gathered in the den to open presents. And while everyone was joyfully conversing she noticed that once again Grandma Georgian had been very unfair on the gifts she gave her and Zelena. For her their grandmother had given Regina an expensive bottle of perfume. For Zelena she had given her socks that clearly looked like that worn and second hand. While she tried to put on a brave face, Regina could tell her sister was fighting back tears over her gift. Regina wanted to scream at her grandmother over how cruel she was being. But instead she bit her tongue, feeling it wasn't her place to yell at her.
After presents were opened brunch was served, followed later by a turkey dinner. Afterwards people mingled around, talking among one another. Regina had to keep her emotions in check whenever someone brought up her father in conversation.
She finished her cider and made her way to the kitchen, wondering if she could sneak a glass of champagne instead. She walked down the hall when she noticed her mother and Grandma Georgian just inside the kitchen. She hung back by the entranceway to listen in.
"I didn't have a chance to tell you earlier, but congratulations are in order over being elected for state senator."
"Thank you," Cora responded.
"Of course, I'm sure Henry's death played a part in your victory," Grandma Georgian stated. "People tend to go with their emotions when they vote. And a recent widow would garner many a sympathy votes."
"I won based on my platform and positive campaign promises," Cora shortly responded. "My husband's death had nothing to do with winning."
"Of course it didn't," Grandma Georgian replied. "Though at least something from your personal life actually benefited your campaign. Honestly, I didn't think you'd have a chance given the read headed skeleton in your closet."
"What are you getting at?" Cora asked, a moment away from throwing a glass of wine in her face.
"Cora!" Both women looked over as Aunt Eliza came into the kitchen. "Some people were asking if the fireplace could be lit to make it more festive."
"I'll be right there. Excuse me," Cora stated as she strode out of the room, not even noticing her daughter standing just outside the kitchen. Regina stayed where she was as Aunt Eliza asked Grandma Georgian, "What did I miss?"
"Just what I've always saying about Cora's first born. That she should know that her daughter is a black mark on her life," Grandma Georgian explained as she poured herself another glass of wine.
"Maybe you should slow down," Aunt Eliza said as she eyed the alcohol. "You're not exactly young anymore."
"At my age it's beneficial to enjoy the pleasures of life," Grandma Georgian said as she drank a healthy gulp. "And as I was saying, in my day a mistake like her red headed first born would have been gotten rid of, either as soon as she was born, or even beforehand. It saves a lot of personal embarrassment."
"You shouldn't talk about her like that," Aunt Eliza stated, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation (while it wasn't anything the vile woman hadn't said before, generally she wasn't quite this revolting in her opinion on the matter.) "Zelena's a lovely girl. A member of the family."
"Maybe Cora's, but she's not my family. She's not my blood. She's just the bastard mistake Henry felt obligated to raise because he was tricked into getting married." She cackled as she looked at Eliza. "How are you coping anyway? I heard things aren't that good between you and your husband. It's a shame he's developed a habit of working late with a number of his female coworkers."
"How…how did you know," she asked in shocked bewilderment.
"There isn't much I don't know sweetie," Georgian stated knowingly as she downed her wine and refilled her glass. "I know you're married, but I hope for your sake you're insisting he use a condom when you sleep together now. I'd hate to think what he might have picked up during his extramarital activities. Though I doubt there's much to say regarding your sex like if he has to seek satisfaction else ware."
With that Regina walked away, unable to listen to her grandmother anymore. She's a vile bitch, she thought. An evil woman who loves to cause misery.
Regina went back to the drawing room, where she spotted her sister standing by the piano. "Zelena," she called out as she went over. "Can I please talk to you?"
"I don't have anything to say to you," Zelena said with false indifference.
"I'm sorry, okay," she whispered so others couldn't overhear. "I had no idea you felt that way."
"Of course you didn't," Zelena snidely replied. "You just failed to notice how I've been treated all my life. Like the dark mark on this family."
"It doesn't matter who your biological father is," Regina insisted. "You're part of this family. Daddy loved you. Mother loves you. Everybody loves you."
"Not everyone," Zelena stated as she nodded her head towards Grandma Georgian, who had just entered the room.
"Forget about that vile woman. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Let's just leave here for a bit and we can discuss this whole thing."
Before she could protest Regina took Zelena's hand and pulled her across the room, where they were stopped at the entranceway by their grandmother. "Where are you two off to?" she drunkenly asked.
"We're just leaving," Regina said, her voice almost shaking in rage over being in this horrid woman's presence.
Grandma Georgian turned her attention to Zelena, who was looking down at her feet. "What is your problem child?"
"Nothing," Zelena said softly.
"I'd expect you to show more respect for your elders. Though I shouldn't expect that much, since you're not part of my pedigree. You're just the bastard mistake your mother made."
Zelena looked at her grandmother tearfully. Although she knew how the woman felt, this was the first time Grandma Georgian had ever said something like this directly to her face. "I…"
"Leave her alone!" Regina yelled, not caring that people were looking at them. "You have no right to speak to her like that!"
"I'll speak to that mistake anyway I want," the old woman snarled at Regina as she scoffed over the tears streaming down Zelena's face. "Stop your sniveling. If anyone should be upset it's me. My son is dead because of you. If your slut mother hadn't gotten knocked up with you and tricked Henry into marrying her, he'd still be alive. His death is all your fault."
With that Zelena ran out of the house, hysterically sobbing. Regina looked at her grandmother for a moment, wanting nothing more than to smash her face in, before bolting after her sister. Georgian smirked to herself before she was suddenly slapped across the face. She looked to see that her attacker was her daughter-in-law, who had witnessed the last bit of their exchange. "Cora-"
"Get the hell out of my house!" Cora yelled. Everyone stared at the two women as Cora advanced on her mother-in-law. "Get out of here right this minute!"
"I was just speaking the truth," Georgian said as she rubbed her cheek.
"I don't care what you call what you did. No one talks to my children like that, no matter who they are. Get out of here right now. And if I ever see you by my children or myself again, I will take you to court and sue you for emotional damage."
"You wouldn't dare," Georgian snarled. "Risk your reputation like that?"
"Try me," Cora stated clear as day.
Georgian stared at Cora for several moments before walking out of the room in a huff to gather her bags. While others tried to talk to her about what had just happened, Cora paid them no attention as she looked around for her daughters. She made her way out of the drawing room when she saw that the front door was open. Without a word she left to search for her children.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Zelena!" Regina called out as she ran after her sister. Her sister ignored her cries as she continued running when she tripped on the driveway and fell to the hands and knees. Regina dropped to her knees beside her sister, seeing she was practically hyperventilating. "It's okay," she said as she wrapped her arms around her. "I'm right here. It's okay."
"I can't…" she sobbed, gasping for breath as her younger sister hugged her.
"Zelena! Regina!" Regina looked up as their mother ran up to them. "Come on, let's go inside."
"I'm nothing," Zelena sobbed. "I'm just a mistake-"
"Don't say that! Don't even think it!" Cora strongly stated as she helped the two girls up. She put an arm around her oldest daughter as the three of them walked back inside. They ignored the party goers' questions as Cora led Zelena up to her bedroom, with Regina trailing behind. "Regina, can you please entertain our guests while I talk to your sister.
"Yes mother," Regina replied before walking out of the room and closing the door (and unbeknownst to them standing by to listen in.) Cora locked the door to make sure they weren't disturbed before saying to Zelena, "I am deeply sorry for what your grandmother said to you. She's wrong to think that way, and I should have stepped in sooner. I'm sorry."
"Everyone is ashamed of me," Zelena softly said.
"No, that's not true. I love you. So did your father. So does everyone else in our family. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"Yes I do. I'm not a part of this family. I'm just the mistake you got saddled with. The permanent result of a fling with a guy at a bar."
Cora sighed deeply, knowing this was a conversation they should have had long before now. "We never really talked about it. The few times you did ask me I just brushed it aside. But it's time we finally get it out in the open. Yes, I got pregnant by a man I slept with once, a man I fully never intended to see again. And yes, Henry isn't your biological father. But that never mattered to me at all. You're my daughter, and that's all that matters."
"Of course it matters," Zelena insisted. "That's why you love Regina more then you love me."
"That's not true at all," Cora said in shock. "I love both of you equally."
"Then why have you always treated me differently than Regina?" Zelena asked. "You're always paid more attention to her, praised her more then you did me? If you love us the same then why was I always treated as less of a daughter?"
Cora blinked back tears at the pain on her daughter's face. "I'm sorry that I ever made you feel like I loved you less. That was never the case. I've treated Regina differently then you because you're both different people. Your sister always needed more handling then you did. More encouragement to blossom. She didn't work hard to excel in school unless I pushed her to do so. She always had trouble making friends and needed my encouragement to go out and meet people. But you, you never needed me to push you. You always just did it. I never had to tell you to work hard in school, or to clean your room, or not to go out and get in trouble. You just did it. You were always the one I could count on to do the right thing."
"I did all that because I didn't want you to be ashamed of me," Zelena said tearfully.
"Oh Zelena," Cora replied as she hugged her daughter. "I could never be ashamed of you. I love you, no matter how you came to be here. And so did your father. It never mattered to him for an instant that someone else was your biological father. When you were born, and what we'd suspected was true, he held you in his arms and said to you, 'I'm your father, no matter what.' I don't think I could have loved him more than I did at that moment. I'm sorry if I ever made you think you didn't matter, or you were less then you are. You're a Mills, no matter what. I love you."
"I love you too mom," Zelena tearfully said.
On the other side of the door Regina's eyes teared up at everything she had overheard. She had had no idea her sister acted the way she did because she felt she had to make up for how she came into existence. It made her feel shameful over how resentful she felt over the belief that Zelena was favored by their parents, when to her sister the opposite had seemed true to her.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"I'm sorry Zelena," she said. It was later on that evening, when most people in the house had either left or gone off to bed. They two of them were in Zelena's room watching television, although neither were really paying attention to what was on. "I had no idea you felt like that all this time."
"It's alright," her sister replied. "You didn't know. And I did do a good job at pretending I was fine."
"But we're sisters, I should have figured it out. But I was always so self-absorbed that I just didn't see it." She sniffed as she looked down in shame. "You've always been there for me. Whenever I was bullied, whenever I needed help with something, whenever I needed you. And I never knew what you were going through."
"I told you, it's alright," Zelena insisted. "You had no idea how I felt. And you were there for me tonight when I needed you the most. So it's alright. I forgive you."
While Zelena said the last part lightly, Regina stiffened at the words, as they made her think again about her own quest for forgiveness. Before she could stop herself she suddenly asked, "Do you blame me for Dad's death?"
"Why would I blame you?" Zelena asked questionably.
"Because he went out that night because of me," Regina tearfully confessed. "I asked him to get me ice cream. He never would have been there if it wasn't for me."
Zelena listened to her sister, having long suspected this was the case. "Regina, that doesn't matter. What happened isn't your fault at all. You didn't pull the trigger. You didn't send that gunman to rob Carmen's. It was his fault, not yours. You did nothing wrong."
"I keep telling myself that. But then I think about how Daddy wouldn't have been there if not for me."
"Regina, things happen. Things that are outside of our control. I truly don't believe you're to blame for our father's death, no matter what the reason was that he went to Carmen's. You can't keep blaming yourself for it. He wouldn't have wanted that."
Regina sniffed as she took that in, realizing that their father wouldn't want her to waste her life wallowing in despair.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"So my dad got me tickets to see Wicked for Christmas," Lisa excitedly stated.
"Really?" Jenna exclaimed. "I'm so jealous. I've always wanted to see it."
"When are you going to see it?" Mary Margaret asked Lisa.
"The day after New Year's Day. My parents and I are seeing a matinee and then going out to dinner, and then we'll probably walk around Times Square. It should be fun"
"Oh my god," Katie happily said. "Remember the 11th grade class trip to New York-"
"And Mrs. Moffet had us take the wrong subway line and we ended up in Chinatown," Mary Margaret interrupted as she knew what story her friend was remembering.
"And Bauer bought those fireworks and set them off when we got back to the hotel," Jenna said through laughter.
"AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT HAD TO EVACUATE US ALL!" the four girls finished as they laughed hysterically over the memory. They were so into reminiscing that none of them paid attention to Emma, who was sitting at the end of the restaurant booth feeling very much like a fifth wheel.
They probably wouldn't even notice if I left, she thought sulkily. She wouldn't have minded so much if they included her in the conversation. But ever since they all met up for lunch all the four of them had done was reminisce about memories from when they were in high school together.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Regina lay on top of her bed reading a book, grateful to have some time to herself. After the 'incident' with Grandma Georgian her mother had allowed her daughters to keep to themselves and not insist that they socialize unless they wanted to. They only had to make appearances when someone was leaving and they had to say goodbye, and even then their mother was being lenient.
As she heard general commotion coming from downstairs (probably from Cousin Clara's children she had to guess), Regina again thought about her father's death. While she had been counseled about it before, actually hearing Zelena say she didn't blame her for it had lessened the burden she had been carrying inside of her for well over a year. It finally made it seem possible that she could forgive herself. And if she could do that, she might just be able to forgive her mother for Daniel's death.
She snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a knock at her door, followed by her mother opening it and coming in. "Hello Regina," she said as she closed the door. "Cousin Clara's family just left, so everyone is now gone except for us and Zelena."
"Okay," Regina replied dully.
"Can I sit down?"
"Sure?" Regina questioned, since her mother wasn't usually known to ask to do things.
Cora sat down at the edge of Regina's bed before saying, "You sister said we should talk about dad's death."
"What did she tell you?" Regina asked.
"Just that it would be a good idea if we talked about it."
Regina took a breath as she finally said to her mom, "Daddy was at Carmen's that night because of me. I asked him to get me an ice cream sundae."
"I know," Cora said knowingly, having long ago guessed that was the reason Henry went to the ice cream parlor that fateful night.
"I keep feeling that he died because of me," Regina confessed.
"Regina, you did nothing wrong. The only person to blame for what happened is the shooter."
"But he wouldn't have died if I hadn't asked him to go," Regina insisted.
"That doesn't matter. There are a ton of factors that led to him being there that night. He wasn't even going to go out at all until I asked him to get a light bulb. You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened. No one else does."
"I've been talking about it with my therapist," Regina told her mother. "And he says I have to forgive myself before I can heal and move on."
"He sounds like a smart man. And I hope you can stop blaming yourself for it. You had nothing to do with your father's death," Cora said as she hugged her daughter.
Regina relaxed under her mother's grip, feeling once again like a little girl seeking her mother's comfort. She hadn't felt like that since Daniel died. But for the first time in a long while she didn't feel like her mother was an evil woman who ruined her life. "I forgive you," she softly said.
"What?" her mother asked as she pulled back.
"Daniel. I, I finally see that it wasn't your fault that he died. It was an accident. And I shouldn't have blamed you for his death."
"Thank you," Cora said. "I am sorry that he died. I know I felt that the two of you were moving too fast. But I never wanted anything like that to happen to him. He was a good boy with his whole life ahead of him, and I've felt terrible that he was taken from you like that."
Regina shakily gasped as she thought about Daniel, remembering the last time she saw him alive. And suddenly she recalled what her father had told her about the situation. "The night Daddy died, before he went out, he told me that if he had caught us in bed together he would have thrown Daniel out of the house too. I kept thinking you were a monster for what you did. But you were just reacting to what you saw."
"I'll admit it wasn't easy walking in on the two of you in bed together," Cora stated. "And either way I would have yelled at the two of you. But if I could have foreseen what would have happened I would have insisted your boyfriend stay here until that storm passed."
"Like I wouldn't have asked Daddy to go to Carmen's if I knew what was going to happen," Regina said as her eyes teared up. "I miss them. Daddy and Daniel."
"I know. I miss your father too" Cora said emotionally. "And I'm sorry that Daniel died also. It's unfair what happened to the two of them. But neither of them would want us to wallow in despair. We have to move on, no matter how hard it is."
"I know," Regina said as she hugged her mother, feeling the burden she had carried inside of her for so long finally begin to loosen. Tears ran down her cheeks as she said to herself, 'I'm not to blame for what happened. It's not my fault.' And she actually felt herself believe it.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Come on, its five minutes to midnight!" Katie called out to everyone.
Emma pulled herself up from the couch, hoping it was over soon. It was New Years Eve, and The Blanchards were celebrating with a party at their house. Two parties actually. The adults were upstairs and the 'kids' (pretty much Mary Margaret and her friends) were downstairs in the den. And like most of this trip, Emma self like the odd (wo)man out. The whole night consisted of Mary Margaret and her friends reminiscing and acting like peas in a pod. And to make matters worse David had come over for New Years Eve. Which meant Mary Margaret was swooning over her boyfriend and very much ignoring her.
Emma looked at the group of them by the TV, the lot of them looking very chummy. Of course David fit right in with Mary Margaret's friends. He listened rapidly when they talked about times in high school, and entertained his girlfriend's friends with his own stories. It all just made Emma feel like more of an outsider.
She knew she should be grateful to be here. Outside of school she had nowhere to go (the dingy apt she had lived in at the end of high school she had had to give up when she started college.) And since she couldn't stay at SBU during holidays (at least until she was out of the dorms) she was thankful she had friends who would take her in. But this whole trip Emma had felt out of place. This was Mary Margaret's life outside college, and she was so caught up in it that she failed to try and include Emma in it.
As the announcer on the screen counted down to zero and the Times Square ball dropped, everyone cheered and hugged one another. And Emma, Emma hoped that next New Year's Eve she felt more included in the festivities. Or at least had someone she could ring in the New Year with.
Author's note: this chapter went in a much different direction then I had originally planned (I had planned Regina and Emma's Christmas's to be fairly short, and not to the length where it took up an entire chapter.) And while I had Zelena's backstory in the back of my head, I didn't plan on revealing it until much later. But it seemed to go perfectly with Regina's struggle, and I just kept writing until I got what we have now. Also, since Cora in this story is nowhere near as horrible as she was on the show, I created the Grandma Georgian character to be an 'evil' family member in Regina's life.
As always, reviews are very much appreciated.