PastaLuver13561: Hello Peoples! First off, I am so sorry for disappearing off of the face of the earth for some time. School's been intense, and Hurricane Sandy totally ripped through my home and we lost electricity.
Yukimura: Well we're glad you're ok.
Pasta: thanks for the concern. *hugs* Also, thank you SO much for the lovely reviews! And for the past few chapters, I've been getting more favs and followers! Thanks again! This inspires me to continue!
Sasuke: we love you all!
Pasta: So guess who makes an appearance?!
Keiji: LADY GAGA?!
Pasta: er….. No. but keep reading to find out!
Masamune: Lulu doesn't own any of the Sengoku characters. If she did, she wouldn't make us all emotionally traumatized in the end of this chapter.
Pasta: Lulu? Really?
Masamune: yes, really.
Pasta: alrighty then. WARNING! Hints of MasaYuki and other couples in here! And other crackiness! You have been warned.
So today started off normal enough. Azure was in the shower while everyone else was going off doing their normal business. Kojuuro took Charlie outside was practicing his sword techniques in the backyard, Ieyasu and Mitsunari were figuring out how to cook, Sasuke and Motonari took Snow out for a walk and decided to have a race, Keiji and Motochika were playing on the PS3, and Masamune and Yukimura were for whatever reason hanging out in Azure's bedroom.
"Lady Azure's room is so organized." Yukimura looked around and examined all her stuff on top of her drawers and dressers. Masamune was lying on Azure's bed juggling one of her bracelets. Her bed was a queen size, very low to the ground, and a jet-black color. Her wall color was a bright red with a dark brown wooden floor. Most of her furniture was black. The room was also spacey, which the samurai liked.
"It's nice and comfy in here." Masamune said. He suddenly dropped the bracelet. He leaned over to retrieve it, but he also found a stash of books underneath the bed. Letting curiosity getting the best of him, he pulled them out.
And he nearly fell off the bed.
What he found were yaoi books. Of him.
And Yukimura.
...Ew.
Who even gave these to her? (I think Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW might know! XD)
Masamune jumped when he heard something vibrating in Azure's book-bag.
He jumped again when he heard Azure scream.
"Jeez! At least give me a heads up before you go snooping around in my room!" she shouted.
Masamune quickly pushed the yaoi books underneath the bed and straitened up. He turned to look at Azure, who was wearing nothing but a towel.
"Oh, sorry about that, Zuzu." he said.
"You alright? You look flustered." Azure raised an eyebrow as she said this.
"Just... Hanging upside-down for too long, that's all." he lied.
Azure shrugged. Her attention then turned to her vibrating book-bag. She made her way over and pulled out her cell-phone from her bag. She examined the caller ID.
She then turned deathly pale.
She then shooed the two samurai out of the room and slammed the door shut. She then slowly brought the phone up to her ear as she pressed the talk button.
"...Hello?" she answered.
"AZURE BABY!" a voice blasted from the other end.
"Hi mom." Azure winced as she held the phone out at arm's length.
"How have you been lately? Anything eventful worth talking about?"
Well let's see, I have hot samurai from 500 years ago residing at my house, I found a cat, a stray dog, got kicked out of anime con, got kidnapped by an American mafia, and became filthy rich.
"...No, not really..."
"Oh, you're boring! Aren't teenage girls supposed to live life to the fullest? And haven't you gotten a boyfriend yet?"
"Mom!" Azure gasped, a slight blush made its way across her face.
"No? Ok then. Well listen sweetie, my business trip is over, and my next one isn't until a few hours, so I'm heading home now to visit you! I'll be there in a half an hour!"
"Wait, wha-?!"
...she hung up...
Azure stood there for a while. She then mentally slapped herself.
OH CRAP, MOM'S GONNA BE HERE IN A HALF AN HOUR!
With that, Azure rushed downstairs.
"GUYS!" she shouted as she burst through the living room.
Everyone turned at the sudden out-burst.
"My mom's gonna be here in a half an hour!" Azure said exasperated.
"Really? Awesome! We could finally meet her!" Keiji replied.
"No! Not awesome!" Azure shook her head vigorously, "If my mom comes home and sees me living with ten hot dudes, she's gonna think I'm a...MANIZER or something!" Azure shuddered at the thought.
And before anyone could say otherwise, Azure said, "And this is my mom we're talking about. You don't know how she's like."
"She can't be that bad." Motochika scoffed.
"Oh no. You don't get it. She's crazy. She's worse than me. Which is why you all need to hide. It's for your own safety as well as mine."
Motochika gave a 'O_o' face. So did everyone else.
"Wait..." Azure counted the heads, "Where's Sasuke and Motonari?"
"Taking Snow out for a walk..." Ieyasu answered. He came in from the kitchen, wearing a pink apron that read "Kiss the cook". Mitsunari followed closely behind.
"Ah, they just had to leave at the worst time..." Azure sighed.
Suddenly the sound of a car pulling up the driveway was heard, followed by an overly-excited, "HONEY, I'M HOME!"
"Oh, FRICK SHE'S HERE!" Azure panicked, "Everyone, UPSTAIRS! NOW!"
After nearly shoving everyone upstairs, Azure frantically hid everyone's weapons, clothes, and everything that wasn't feminine. "Just a minute mom!" she hollered.
But Azure's mom isn't the patient type. The door was thrown open to reveal a woman who looked to be in her thirties. She had jet-black hair tied up in a high ponytail, bright blue eyes, wore a huge grin that reminded Azure of the Cheshire Cat.
"Azure!" she exclaimed as she ran over and wrapped Azure in a bone-crushing hug, "It's so good to see you!"
"Ack! Spinal cord collapsing!" Azure replied.
"Oh right." Her mom said as she pulled away. "How have you been, honey?"
"Great mom!" Azure answered.
"So, got a boyfriend yet?"
"Way to be blunt, mom!"
"I take that as a no."
"ANYWAY! Why don't you have a seat in the living room? I'll get us something to drink."
"Ok!"
So Azure's mom made her way towards the living room while Azure headed into the kitchen.
And that was when the first problem began.
Azure lifted her head from from the refrigerator and raised an eyebrow.
Was that... Running water she heard?
Azure served the water and suggested that her mother listened to this totally cool song she heard on iTunes. After getting her mother situated with the ear buds and setting the volume on maximum, Azure rushed back into the kitchen while pulling out her cellphone and dialed Masamune's number.
XxxxxxxX
Masamune jumped as he felt his pants vibrate. It took him a while to figure out that it was his phone that was the mystery behind all this. He quickly pulled out his cellphone and flipped it open.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Why do I hear running water?" Azure's voice quietly shouted on the other end.
"Oh...well...Yukimura decided to take a shower..."
"What?! What did I say about being undercover?"
"...You didn't. You just told us to get in and be quiet."
"Same thing!" Azure hissed.
Motochika grabbed Masamune's phone and set it on speaker before shouting, "Hey Azure!" into the phone.
"Shut up! My mom might hear you!" The unhappy female snapped.
"Oh, sorry."
"...Is Yukimura singing? In the shower?" Azure asked as she heard faint singing on the other end.
"Oh yeah. He is. Quite loudly." Masamune answered.
"...Is he a good singer?" Azure couldn't help but ask.
"You wish." Keiji answered over Masamune's other shoulder.
"...Well make him stop!" Azure demanded.
"I'm on it." Mitsunari said as he passed everyone and headed into the bathroom.
There was a silence. Then the sound of the toilet being flushed was heard. Then Yukimura's voice rang out, "AHHHHHHHH! IT'S SO HOT! WHY IS IT SO HOT?! WHAT IS THIS MONSTROSITY?!"
Mitsunari then reappeared and sat back down with a satisfied look on his face.
"Well that fixes things." Ieyasu said into the phone.
"...Was that really necessary?" Azure asked. Masamune could picture her sweat-dropping on the other end. "Just...get him out of there soon, alright?"
"Don't worry Azure! I'm here to make everything work out!" Motochika assured.
"That's exactly why I'm worried." Azure sighed. "Oh crap..."
"What?" Kojuuro joined in with the conversation.
"Sasuke and Motochika are here."
And thus, the second problem began.
XxxxxxxX
"Oh man, what am I supposed to do?" Azure asked exasperated. She ran a hand through her hair.
"I'll handle it. Keep your mother at bay until then." Mitsunari ordered.
Azure nodded, "Got it."
She hung up and headed towards the living room.
"Oh hi Honey! Awesome song!" Her mom greeted.
"Hi mom! How about we head into the backyard for a bit?"
"Sure...?"
When the door closed and the two were outside, Mitsunari rushed downstairs and stealthily made his way out the door.
XxxxxxxX
"Welcome back." Keiji said as Mitsunari entered Azure's bedroom.
"Hm." was the albino's only reply.
"What did you even do?" Masamune asked, "Where's the monkey boy and Mr. Pea-pot plant?"
~Meanwhile, crammed and tied up in Azure's dark basement~
"Well, this is quite welcoming..." Motonari sarcastically said. He was getting a really bad itch on his nose that was driving him insane, but the rope that bound his hands together prevented him of doing anything about it.
Sasuke rolled on his stomach and somehow got to his knees, even with his hands tied to his sides. "Hello?" he called, "Anybody hear us?"
"Pipe down, no one will hear us." Motonari snapped.
Sasuke sighed in defeat and flopped back down on his stomach. "...It's dark in here..." Sasuke stated.
"Way to state the obvious, ninja." Motonari replied as he narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
"Ok, could you move your head? Your hair is tickling my nose, and it's really bothering me."
"...That's not my hair..."
"..."
"..."
XxxxxxxX
Everyone upstairs perked up their heads when when they heard a very quiet, very muffled scream.
"What was that?" Kojuuro asked.
"SPIDER!" A very muffled scream sounded from a few floors down.
"...Nothing." Mitsunari answered.
Everyone then sweat-dropped when the oh-so familiar voice repeated, "GETITOFF, GETITOFF, GETITOFF!"
"That sounded like a little more than nothing." Ieyasu argued.
"Hold still, imbecile!" A second voice ordered from downstairs.
"I said it was nothing!" Mitsunari snapped.
Everyone did a double sweat-drop when a loud CRASH! came from the floors below.
"Oh yeah, definitely nothing." Motochika said sarcastically. Mitsunari glared daggers at him.
XxxxxxxX
"So how was the trip?" Azure asked as she and her mom were hanging out in a tree.
"Oh, it was fun! I traveled to Ethiopia, and I nearly went to jail for taking a picture of the Dictator's house."
"...Sounds...Fun?" Azure raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, the guards smashed my SD card... Not very nice people." Azure's mom scrunched her nose as she said this. "But then I headed to Switzerland. Strange things happen there. I passed a Swiss man in a red dress with a bow in his hair, and he was dancing with a little Japanese boy."
"Weird." Azure replied.
"Uh-huh. Then Halloween came... I was in France. I passed a Halloween store and I saw a dude in a gorilla suit making out with a chick pirate."
"Please don't tell me you bothered them..."
"I had to!"
"Mom!" Azure shouted as she threw her head back in exasperation.
"But then I got confronted by a man who asked me if I wanted a visit from his 'crotch monster'... I called the cops on him."
"Mom, you encounter the strangest people." Azure grinned.
"I do. How's school been?"
"The last few weeks have been brutal. Not gonna lie."
"Met anyone to your liking?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, the sun's setting. Let's head inside."
So the duo headed indoors. They paused when they heard a soft, but a definitely noticeable song coming from upstairs.
Problamo numbero tres.
"Is someone singing Call Me Maybe?" Azure's mother asked.
"No!" Azure answered a little too quickly.
Her mother gave her a look that said 'don't lie.'
"...it's my radio playing!" she lied.
"I don't remember Carly's voice being so low." Azure's mom observed.
Azure racked her brain for any possible explanations.
"...She's undergoing puberty." she blurted.
Her mom raised an eyebrow.
"And why is she singing unusually terrible today?"
Pause
Pause
Pause
"...Maybe masculineness comes at a price..." Azure answered lamely.
To her relief, her mother didn't question her anymore and instead checked her watch.
"Well, I should probably be going soon. Just let me head to the bathroom first."
"Ok, sure."
Azure then headed in the kitchen to fetch some water. 'Well, things are going smoothly enough.' she thought.
Oh, Azure, you know something always goes wrong in this fanfic.
XxxxxxxX
Yukimura finally got out of the shower. (Took him long long enough...) and was now he joined everyone in Azure's room.
But unfortunately, Masamune has taken his clothes captive.
"Masamune, give them back!" Yukimura yelled. He used one hand to secure the towel around his waist and the other to try to reach his clothes.
"Haha, you'll have to make me!" The one-eyed man challenged as he held the cub's clothes higher over his head.
Yukimura tried jumping to reach his clothes, but Masamune was just too damn tall.
"Shrimp!" He taunted.
Yukimura let out a growl before tackling the brunette. The duo fell over, accidentally taking out the door.
And Azure's mother was standing right on the other side.
"WHAT THE HELL?" She screamed.
"Uh... Hi." Masamune said sheepishly.
Everyone peered outside the doorframe and saw Azure's mom. They all waved.
And she screamed.
Then Charlie and Snow came running out of the room, nearly taking out her legs.
And to make everything worse, the basement door was busted open, revealing Sasuke and Motonari. They were breathing heavily, covered in bruises, their clothes were wrinkled, and they were holding rope in their hands.
Out of context, it was a very suggestive image.
"Somebody better have a good explanation for this!" Sasuke growled. He then paused when he saw Azure's mom up the stairs. "Oh, hi! Who are you?"
For Azure's mom, this was quite overwhelming.
"AZURE, YOU GET THAT LITTLE PIECE OF YOUR ASS UPSTAIRS, NOW!" She screeched.
Busted.
Azure came upstairs and paused when she saw he mom, then the fallen door, then the samurai hiding in her bedroom.
...Aw sh!t...
"What the hell is all this?" Her mom demanded as she pointed at the fallen samurai on the floor.
"Give me 15 seconds to explain!" Azure pleaded.
"I'll give you 10."
Azure took a deep breath;
"Well as you probably know already my birthday passed a few months ago and like all the rest it sucked so I went outside to do some stargazing but then I saw a shooting star and I remember how you always tell me that wishes wished on a star always come true so I wished for a decent birthday present and apparently my wish came true cause those two came," Azure pointed at Masamune and Yukimura and took another breath, "They're apparently samurai from the Sengoku Period 500 years back and then when the weeks past more and more of them came and they have nowhere to go-"
"That was 10 seconds." her mother interrupted.
"...So yeah." Azure finished lamely.
-More explaining later-
Everyone sat in the living room. Azure's mom laughed after the explanation.
"Well you should've told me about this, Azure! I gotta say, you did a fine job with getting these boys together." Mrs. Stark said as she winked at her daughter.
Azure face-desked.
"We're so sorry to have disturbed you, Mrs. Stark." Keiji stepped forward and leaned close towards Azure's mom, "But I promise, we have taken good care of Azu-chan." he finished with a wink.
Mrs. Stark turned towards Azure. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked.
"Mom! No!" Azure gasped, her face beginning to turn red.
"Good, you can do better." she answered.
And so Keiji went to go sulk in his little emo-corner again.
"Now this man," Azure's mom began as she walked over to Motochika and pointed to him, "Is worthy of dating. His looks are charming, and he definitely holds mystery behind that eye-patch of his. Why haven't you made a move on him yet, Azure? Have I not taught you anything?"
Motochika felt complemented and slightly amused, yet very creeped out that a 36 year old woman is hitting on him.
Azure was continuously hitting her head against the wall.
"And where are your clothes, boy?" Mrs. Stark asked Yukimura (who was still in a towel).
"Masamune has them." He answered. He pointed at his friend with embarrassment written all over his face.
"Well if you two were going to do THAT, then I would appreciate it if you didn't do it in Azure's room, seeing that you already took out the door."
The two samurai then turned bright red. Seriously, they were brighter than Rudolph's nose.
well now I know where Azure got her personality from... everyone thought simultaneously.
And Azure has now created a dent in the wall from so much head-banging.
"And what were you two doing downstairs?" Azure's mom continued on with Sasuke and Motonari, "Were you two at it also?"
The two looked at each other and had the same thought coursing through their minds;
Ew. Major Ew. Please kill me.
'Well at least I wouldn't mind it as much if Motochika was with me...' Motonari thought.
Realizing what he just thought, Motonari excused himself from everyone and tried to drown himself in the kitchen sink.
And Sasuke nearly choked when he thought the same with Kojuuro.
"But seriously Azure, how could you resist the urge to jump one of these guys?" Mrs. Stark then pointed to Mitsunari and Kojuuro, "I bet these two would do great in bed."
"MOM!" Azure screamed, "T. M. FREAKING I!"
Mitsunari looked disturbed beyond belief, and Kojuuro looked like he was going to puke.
"No? Ok." The older woman sighed. "I should probably get going, my flight's in a half an hour." she hugged Azure goodbye and headed towards the door. "And I expect you to be with one of these guys when I get back!" she called. She looked at Ieyasu and made a phone shape with her hand. "Call me!" she mouthed.
Azure's mom then drove away.
"Thank the lord she's gone!" Azure shouted as she closed the front door, "See why I didn't want you guys to meet her?"
"Yeah, she was very creepy. She was hitting on pretty much everyone here." Motochika answered. "I gotta say though, she was pretty awesome. She was very blunt, not afraid to voice her opinion, and she didn't take no sh*t."
"I think she voices a little too much of her opinion." Azure mumbled.
"It wasn't all that bad. It could've been worse." Ieyasu tried to comfort. "Although I'm not sure why she needs my number..."
"I guess... So how many are emotionally traumatized from my mom's visit?" Azure asked.
Ieyasu counted the heads. Masamune and Yukimura were still blushing like madly and refused to look at each other, Motonari was well on his way to drowning himself (Motochika rushed to try and stop him), Mitsunari looked like he was on the verge of puking, Keiji was still stuck in his emo-corner, Sasuke just caressed Charlie with a blank stare fixed at a turned off TV, and Kojuuro refused to talk to anyone and instead was petting Snow.
"...7." Ieyasu answered.
"Well, I guess it could've been worse..." Azure sighed. "Well, let's wait a while for them to snap out of it..."
"Want me to cook for us in the meantime? I found this recipe for a fried rice combo." Ieyasu offered.
"...Sure. I'll help." Azure answered, and they both headed into the kitchen.
PastaLuver13561: All who is emotionally traumatized, say I.
Everyone: I.
Pasta: well sorry! But I couldn't help it!
Ieyasu: How did the fried rice combo turn out?
Pasta: *currently eating the dish* Like heaven!
Ieyasu: ok, good!
Pasta: As a matter of fact, I will give Vampire Revan and FlyingWolf122 some of this awesome fried rice for giving me ideas for this chapter! Ideas are always welcome, and will come with a reward~
Mitsunari: Comment and review. If not, *unsheathes odachi*