Sheesh, I was in update fail mode for this one, huh? I was on a roll and then BAM! It was like a million things hit me at once: I had writer's block, the girl I do daycare for lost her job therefore I lost my job, and then I had to visit the in-laws to watch the football game. At least my team won though! Go Ravens!!

As always, my reviewers and I now think of them as my friends, are the greatest. Thanks to: kairikh2, AmeryMarie, ravens23fan, NenaaTH, PsychWardSiren, lyndons angel of light, i-heart-music-is-life, candyquakenbush, for being my inspiration!

A very, very special thanks to Maiya9182 for being absolutely amazing. I mean friggin awesome! Not only did she suggest a kick ass song for "On My Own" (Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse) she has been sending me the most motivational PM's! Also, thanks to her sister, Adriana, for rec'ing me and sending me inspiring messages as well. You girls are awesome!!!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, Robert Pattinson's sanpaku eyes own me. Yummy.

Now on with the show!!

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EPOV

"Edward, what the hell are you doing?!"

Bella pushed me away quickly, wiping at her perfect lips and turning to stare out the window. She had her arms protectively crossed over her chest and she was tapping her foot quickly on the floor.

My cloudy, drunk brain couldn't filter why it was wrong to be kissing the love of my life but the look on her face clued me in that it probably wasn't the best idea at the moment.

Here she was trying to explain to my drunk ass that my whore of a girlfriend was cheating on me and I'm trying to make out with her.

Classy.

God, I deserved to be cheated on.

I turned her back around, trying to show her how sorry I was with my puppy dog eyes, "I'm sorry, Bell. Don't be mad at me."

She sighed, thinking for a moment, "I'm not. It's okay. I know you're just upset. And monumentally drunk. So, I guess I understand."

I wasn't upset but I was extremely drunk, so I lay down on my bed, watching as the ceiling turned this way and that way, making me nauseous and queasy.

You know you've drank entirely too much when lying down doesn't make you feel any better. At all.

I sat up quickly praying I didn't throw up when I did and asked Bella why she wasn't mad at me for kissing her. I wanted to ask her why she didn't kiss me back this time, too, but I didn't.

She touched my cheek lightly and my stomach became full of butterflies and other girly shit until she said, "I know you're just trying to cover up the hurt of Tanya cheating on you. You were just trying to get back at her."

I snorted, "No, Bella, I'm not I'm hurt. I'm pissed I asked her back out actually."

I wanted to tell her so bad that I wanted to try to be that guy for her but she was happy dating Jasper right now. Plus, I knew I would fuck it all up somehow.

She smiled sadly as if she didn't believe me, "It's okay to be upset. I would be if that happened to me."

I ignored the comment because I wasn't upset and I was going to end up telling her the whole thing was a sham if I didn't, "So, what happened? Where did you see her?"

"At dinner. She was with some blonde guy and they were," she stopped, hesitating but I urged her to go on.

I was breaking up with her either way, this just helped fuel the fire.

Shuddering, she finished, "They were practically dry-humping on their dinner, it was disgusting."

I guffawed, "Sounds about right. I bet it was-" I was interrupted by my cell phone ringing.

I just wonder who that could be, I thought sarcastically.

I pressed the talk button, "Hello, Tanya."

"Hey Eddie. How are you? I miss you baby."

I may be drunk but I'm not stupid. She was trying to test the water, see if I knew she had cheated yet.

I rolled my eyes, "Do you really think I haven't talked to Bella yet?"

"Well, whatever that bitch said to you is a lie."

Bella must have heard Tanya's loud ass voice over the phone, it was seriously giving me a headache, so she grabbed her phone out of her bag and scrolled down to a picture of some sort.

Shoving the phone into my hand, she showed me a picture of Tanya's infidelity and I recognized who the guy was immediately.

"So, Bella's lying about seeing you and some guy going at it, huh? Who were you with, Tanya?" I asked as if I had no idea.

She was quiet for a minute, no doubt trying to think of a lie, "This guy John. We're just working on a project for school together. I don't know what that silly Bella thinks she saw but it was nothing."

Liar, liar, slutty pants on fire.

"It was James, Tanya. You know, your ex-boyfriend? I have a picture of you two practically fucking on your dinner table. It's actually fucking gross. Isn't that a family restaurant?"

She growled, "Let me get this straight. That bitch not only slapped me but she took a picture of me as well?"

Surprised, I blurted out, "Bella slapped you?"

I looked to Bella for confirmation.

Bella looked up then finding something interesting on the ceiling to look at.

"Yes," Tanya whined, "She slapped me, really hard, and then that tall guy she was with whisked her away before I could hit her back!"

I snorted, "Just be glad he did scoop her away after that, Tanya. It saved you from an ass-kicking."

She sighed heavily, "Oh, I'm sorry, Eddie. Really, really sorry. Can't we just get past-" I didn't wait for her to finish her lame ass apology.

"No, no. I'm sorry, Tanya. It's over for good this time. I never should have gotten back together with you in the first place. Don't call me or message me. Just...forget me, okay?"

She tried to protest but I hung the phone up quickly before she could.

Bella looked at me, narrowing her eyes, "Listen, I'm not sorry I slapped her. She totally had it coming. Bitch."

I laughed, feeling a little shaky from both my intoxication and the adrenaline of dumping Tanya's ass, "It's okay. I'm sure she did. What did she say though?"

Her face fell, "It's not important really...but how are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. How did Jasper take this little incident anyway?"

She smiled, "Very well actually. After I slapped her, he scooped me up and we headed for the hills. He said he didn't want to have to get Charlie to spring me from the Port Angeles pokey."

I chuckled and nodded, "Well, that's good. Charlie woulda been pissed."

She nodded her head and we sat there awkwardly looking at each other before she blurted out, "Well, it's getting late and I know you need to get your ass to bed, so, um, I'll see you tomorrow or something, okay?"

I didn't want her to leave. At all.

I wanted her to stay with me for the night.

Hell, I wanted her to stay with me forever.

"Why don't you stay over, Bell? Like old times?"

She said sadly, "No, I can't. I'm sorry."

"Pretty please?"

"Edward, I can't. I don't know what's going on with Jasper and I but...I know I like him and I don't want to hurt his feelings. It's just not appropriate when other people's feelings are involved."

I wasn't proud of what I did next.

I knew it was wrong.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I was desperate for her to stay, so I started to sniffle, "Yeah, you're right. I just wanted a little company."

She looked at me with such sad eyes, pulling me into a hug, "Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry she made you this sad."

If I wasn't as drunk as I was, I probably wouldn't have thought milking this whole cheating thing was a good idea, but I was hammered and Bella was hugging me tight so I said, "I am sad. I'm so fucking sad, Bell."

She hugged me tighter and I got a whiff of her delicious smelling hair. It did naughty things to my body and I wanted nothing more than to kiss her into oblivion right then and there.

Instead, I pulled her onto my bed with me, ignoring her protests, laying down with her head on my chest.

She sighed, saying, "Edward, I can't stay all night but I'll stay until you fall asleep, okay?"

I nodded, kissing the top of her head, wishing I could do more, show her more, but all I said was "Okay."

She started humming some song and before I knew it, the long over-due sleep took over.

----

BPOV

Poor Edward.

He was so upset that I couldn't leave until he was sound asleep.

As I started to get up, he stirred a tiny bit, but didn't wake up completely so I took that chance to slip out quietly.

I lifted his heavy arm from around my waist and hopped out of his massive bed.

As weird as it was, I felt a little guilty being at Edward's this late.

I felt like I was betraying Jasper somehow and the thought unnerved me.

I know that I'm not completely over Edward, you can't just stop loving someone in a week, but with Jasper and I getting closer, it was easier to say no to Edward's requests.

He was drunk and tried to kiss me and I didn't let it happen.

Then he asked me to stay over like old times and as tempting as it was, I said no to that too.

It felt a little empowering.

When I got home, I climbed up the stairs slowly, feeling fatigued from the night's events and I passed out almost immediately.

I woke up to the sounds of my cell phone going off. I knew it had to be Rose, only her ass was brave enough to call me and wake me up on a Sunday, so I made her sweat it out a little before I answered.

"Hello?"

"Four rings, Bella? You let it ring four times before answering when you know exactly why I'm calling?"

I smiled, "You're so predictable, my Rosalie."

She giggled, "So, what happened? Jasper was kind of vague on the details last night. I asked and he just shrugged and went right to bed. I wanted to break down his door and demand to know!"

"You're so impatient. Sheesh. How about I come over and tell you all about it? Just let me get a shower and I'll be there, okay?"

She agreed and I bounded out of bed to get ready for the day. I couldn't help but think about Edward and what that awful girl did to him. Before I got in my truck, I took a piece of paper out of my purse and wrote Edward a note to stick under the windshield wiper of his car.

Hey Edward,

Your friends are here if you need
us. We love you! Call me later.

Love, Bella.

I'm sure he'd go out somewhere today and get the note.

I zoomed over to Rose's after that for fear of her wrath if I took one minute longer. She could be scary when she wanted to be.

She was waiting at the door like I thought she would be with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. Such a nosy bitch, that one.

"Get your ass in here. You took long enough."

I smiled at her, as I hugged her, "It's been like an hour, Rose. Is Jasper awake yet?"

She huffed, "Not all the way yet, but that doesn't matter you're hanging out with me for awhile before you go hanging out with him!"

"I know that. I want to hang out with you, silly. I was just going to say good morning to him."

She thought about it, "Alright, but be quick, okay?"

We walked up the steps and Rose went towards her room, "Five minutes, Bella, or so help me I'll drag you out by your hair!"

I giggled, even though I knew she meant it as I knocked on Jasper's door, "Jazz? You awake?"

I heard a muffled, "Come in" so I turned the knob and walked in.

I was assaulted by Jasper's delicious scent and a smile automatically formed on my face when I saw him lying in his bed with his shirt off, his curly hair all disheveled, with the sheets up to his waist.

"Hey there, handsome."

He popped his head off the pillow, "Fancy meeting you here, killer. I hope you're here to kiss me good morning and not slap me."

I laughed, "You didn't go kissing any other girls since last night did you, Tex?"

And that thought alone brought about another wave of guilt that Edward had tried to kiss me last night.

He pretended to think about it, "Nope, turned 'em all down. So that means yes to the kiss, right?"

I didn't answer him. I walked over and kneeled next to the bed to give him a proper good morning kiss. It got heated quickly and I remembered just how under dressed he was and how Rose's impatient ass was waiting for me so I pulled away before it got out of hand and I took him right there.

"Now that was a way to wake up," he said with a tiny growl.

"I wish I could stay longer and do more of that, trust me, but your sister threatened to drag me out by my hair if I don't give her the play-by-play of our date last night."

He ran a hand through his curly hair, then stood up to give me a hug, "I figured as much. I think she was scratching around my door last night for answers but I was wiped. Being a referee in a girl-fight is exhausting."

I pulled away from him and playfully smacked his arm, "Shut up! It's embarassing enough that it happened on our first date."

Without missing a beat he said, "So, when's our second date to make up for it then?"

I blushed, "Whenever you want it to be, Tex."

"Okay then, ditch Rosalie and let's vamoose, ahora."

I laughed, "As tempting as that is, I owe her some details. I mean she is the one who introduced us to each other after all."

He nodded then, laughing, "This is true. I guess I can share you for a little while. Hang out after though?"

"I would love that. Are you going to be around or should I call you when we're done?"

"I'll be here. Just come find me, beautiful."

I blushed again, giving him a quick peck on the lips as I headed toward the door, "I will."

He grabbed my hand before I left, "Oh hey, did you tell Edward about his girlfriend yet?"

Guilt and panic spread through my body even though I did nothing wrong.

My voice cracked a little as I talked, "Yeah, I called him when I got home and he was awake so I went over to break the news in person rather than over the phone."

He nodded, "That's understandable. How did he take it?"

I snorted, "Well he was bummed but I think all the booze he drank softened the blow a little, you know?"

Jasper looked seriously at me, "He was drunk?"

I chuckled, "I think that might be a bit of an understatement."

He looked at me with eyes full of worry, "Did you guys...uh, kiss then?"

Shocked, I looked to him for answers, "Why would you ask that?"

How the hell did he know Edward kissed me?

"Well you said that he likes to kiss you when he's drunk and now he's single and you're single," Jasper started to mumble, but didn't finish the thought.

I felt terrible.

I sighed, "He did try to kiss me but Jasper, I pushed him away. I promise. I told him I like you."

He looked visibly relieved then, "Are you sure? I mean you told me how much you like him and I don't wanna stand in the way, sweetheart."

I hugged him again, "You don't have anything to worry about, Jazz. It's not like that for Edward and I'm interested in you and me so deal with it, Mister."

He hugged me tighter, "I know that we've only been hanging out for like a week now, but I really like you, Bella, and I just want to make sure your whole heart is in this, you know? It's not just about how I feel, I want you to be happy, too."

God, he's hot.

"You make me happy, Jazzy. I'll come get you when I'm done getting the third degree from Rose okay?"

He nodded and I waved to him, heading down the hall to Rose's room.

She was on the phone when I opened the door so I sat on her bed waiting for her to end her conversation.

"He did what?" Rose exclaimed. "Well, she's here with me right now so I'll call you back in a little while, okay? I love you, too."

Rose hung up, "So, you wanna tell me what happened last night?"

I told her the whole story, no detail left out, including the slapping Tanya thing, Edward trying to kiss me and trying to get me to stay with him.

"I'm almost at a loss for words, Bella. This shit only happens to you, I swear."

With no humor at all in my voice, I said, "Tell me about it. So...are you mad at me?"

She wrinkled her nose, "For what?"

"I don't know. For going over to talk to Edward. For even putting myself in that position. I thought he was drunk when I talked to him on the phone before I went and I still went over there."

"Bella, you didn't kiss him and you didn't stay the night, that's all that matters. If this was three weeks ago this story could have been way different."

I was glad she wasn't mad at me. "I just knew that he needed to hear about Tanya face to face, ya know? But he was really upset once I told him. I almost thought I made a mistake doing it."

She shook her head in agreement, "Emmett said Edward woke up at like 3 in the morning screaming for you. Saying something like 'it hurts, Bell, it hurts'. It took Em forever to calm him down."

I felt a pang of guilt in my stomach, "I know, I feel awful. That bitch really did a number on him."

She sighed, "I know."

"Jazz said it was karma for all the times Edward kissed me when he was drunk and still with Tanya."

Rose tried to supress her smile, nonchalantly saying, "I love my brother."

I laughed and then I left Rose a little while later. Jazz and I went to grab some lunch together. He held my hand across the table again and my heart was pounding thinking about how great it felt. I'd have to remember to include this in our Bio project.

Uneven heart palpitations around super hot Jasper? Check.

Eventually we finished eating and headed back to Jazz's but I decided to head home to get some homework I had been neglecting done.

Before getting in my car, Jazz touched my cheek softly and gave me a kiss goodbye. I didn't want to leave him but I knew I had math homework to finish and I wanted to spend some time with Charlie since it was his night off.

When I got home, I noticed Edward's car wasn't in his driveway and I hoped that he was okay today. I went inside and started my homework before going into the kitchen and making Charlie dinner.

After dinner, I settled into the couch with a book while Charlie watched whatever sports event was on T.V. when there was a knock at the door. Charlie grumbled and said he'd get it and soon Edward was sitting on the couch next to me.

I put my book down and looked at him closely, "Hey, you alright?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I know in your note it said to call you later but can we talk like outside or something?"

I got a little anxious, "I didn't mean you had to call, stopping by is okay, too, but yeah sure. Let's go." I tended to ramble when I was nervous.

We went outside to sit on the porch swing and Edward started talking almost immediately, "I want to apologize for last night. I was out of hand and it was wrong of me to try to kiss you, again, when you're trying to move on with Jasper."

"Edward, I told you yesterday it was fine. I know you were just sad. It's cool. Don't worry about it, okay?"

He nodded, blowing out a breath, "So, we're okay? Emmett was telling me that I was out of control last night and I just wanted to make sure I didn't fuck up with you again."

I chuckled, "We're good, buddy. I promise."

He smiled and put his arm around me, "I'm glad."

After I reassured him that our friendship was still A-Okay after his drunken debauchery last night, we sat outside on the porch swing for awhile talking about our project.

"Carlisle said he should be able to pull out some studies on the heart for us. Some kind of scientist babble to get us a good grade."

"Sweet. Your dad being a doctor is the best. He helps with homework so we get awesome grades and then," I looked to the side at him with a mischevious grin on my face, "...he helps me in the fantasy department being all hot, wearing his white lab coat spouting off medical facts."

He squirmed and made a gagging noise, "Ugh, Bella, that is disgusting. He's practically your dad, too, you know."

I giggled, wiggling my eyebrows up and down, "I'll call him Daddy if he wants me to."

Edward laughed and ruffled my hair, "You're sick you know that, right?"

We saw a car pull into my driveway then, but it was too dark to see who it was getting out of the car and coming up the steps.

Eventually, my eyes adjusted enough to see that it was Jasper getting ready to knock on my door. He hadn't seen Edward or I on the swing, so I called out to him to let him know we were there, "Jazz?"

He turned quickly, smiling at the sound of my voice but frowning when he realized Edward was there as well, "Hey, there you are. I tried calling your house a few times but you didn't answer. You left your bag at my place."

I took it from him gratefully, hugging him after, "Oh my God, thank you so much. Charlie's watching a game and he ignores the phone when he knows I'm home."

He hugged me tighter, whispering in my ear, "Everything okay?"

I nodded, "Yeah, everything's great. Did you wanna stay and hang out for awhile? Edward and I were just talking about our Bio project. Nothing too important."

I giggled and blushed when I remembered we weren't just talking about Bio before Jazz showed up.

He hesitated, looking over at Edward who still looked a bit queasy from the Carlisle conversation but had a little smile on his face, "Um, sure. I can stick around for a couple of minutes, I guess."

I did a little victory dance in my head, excited that I was going to get to spend time with Jasper and Edward, together. They needed to get know each other.

Edward was a huge part of my life and hopefully Jasper would be as well.

I really, really hoped

Edward stayed sitting on the swing, with a forced smile on his face. "Jasper," he acknowleged him finally.

Jasper smiled though it didn't look completely genuine, "Edward. Good to see you again, man."

He went on, "Can't say I'm surprised you're here but it's good to see you all the same."

Edward looked surprised but in his defense didn't say anything sarcastic back.

I furrowed my brows, "Is something wrong, Jazz?"

Jasper was never short or agitated with anyone. He was always so laid back and sweet.

He shook his head, "Nah, just tired. I didn't mean anything by it." He looked at Edward as he said that but it didn't seem sincere.

I cocked my head to the side, "Are you okay, seriously? What's going on?"

He looked me deep in the eyes, his face full of sorrow, "Nothin', really. I, uh, actually have to go though, honey. I forgot I told Rose I'd be right back with her car. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Edward offered, "Listen, man, if you want some alone time with Bella I can head home. It's not a big deal."

I was shocked to say the least.

"Yeah, thanks dude, but I really did tell Rose I'd have her car back and you know Rosalie and her car. She's probably having a panic attack as we speak.

I walked Jasper to his car then, hugging him tight and giving him a peck on the lips, "You're sure you're okay?"

He kissed me again, longer this time and nodded. He got in the car and told me he'd call me later, before he drove away.

As I walked back up the steps to my house, Edward's voice rang out, "Are you guys together now?"

I sat back down next to him, feeling guilty to be talking about my possible relationship with him when his just ended so recently.

"We're not labeled or anything. We just like each other's company for now."

He didn't say anything as he looked up at the moon, the reflection making his green eyes impossibly brighter.

"God, I miss the way we used to be, Bell. Before all this girlfriend crap, before all the adoption stuff, you know? Just Edward and Bella, no worries."

"I know. But, we were little kids then, Edward. We all have to grow up and move on sometime. Even us. But that doesn't mean that we have to grow apart at all."

I went on, trying to joke, "Besides I think that you just miss telling me what to do all the time."

He shook his head vigorously, "That's not true. I mean I didn't mind telling fuckers to back off of you but I was selfish, Bella. I can see that now. I'm watching you grow and become more independent everyday and I can see how good it is for you. I wish I would have stopped being so overbearing a long time ago. It might have made a big difference in our life. It could have made things different between us."

He was so sad, it made me feel terrible, "I may be changing by making decisions based on what I want and not what I think you want me to do but that doesn't mean that I don't value your opinion anymore. Nothing has to change in our friendship. Well, almost nothing. You can't kiss me anymore or beat up any guy that talks to me." I nudged his shoulder playfully.

He snorted, "Who has that job now? Jasper?"

"No, doofus, it's my job to decide who talks to me or kisses me and I say no more drunken kisses, buddy. Capiche?"

"Yeah, yeah. No more drunken kisses. I think I need to cut back on the tequila for awhile anyway."

"I think that would be wise."

He snorted, "Yeah, I'll stick to vodka."

I laughed, "I think you need to stick to water, pal."

We sat quietly for a few more minutes before Edward got up and said he better get home. I gave him a big hug goodbye, telling him to call me if he needed anything. He smiled weakly, a smile that never quite reached his eyes, and told me he would.

So, tonight wasn't a gigantic success.

But at least I know that Edward and Jasper can be semi-civil to one another.

Now, I just have to figure out what's bothering Jazzy.

I hate to see him so upset.

Jasper doesn't wear upset well.

I seriously hope it's not my friendship with Edward.

Because unfortunately, I know one thing for certain in my life.

Mine and Edward's friendship is the one thing I can't give up.

Ever.

Or can I?

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