Prompt: A new low
Warnings:language
Frame of reference: Kurt and Bas are married, and Bas is a stock broker.
It's Not What You Think
The phone rang.
"Bas Hummel," Sebastian answered, without looking at the caller ID. He was hot on the trail of a news story in France that was going to spike a particular stock if it was true.
"I need you-" a deep, rough voice growled in Bas's ear, interrupted by a hacking cough.
"Excuse me? I think you have the wrong number."
He clicked a promising link.
"Bas, I deed you to- shit!" The low voice broke into another coughing fit.
"Man, you should be calling a doctor not a broker, alright?"
Bas scanned the online article he'd found, speaking distractedly and preparing to hang up.
"I'b calling by fugging husbadd!" The man on the phone snapped, his tone breaking on the last word and rising so Bas finally recognized Kurt's voice.
"Oh shit, babe! I'm sorry! God, you sound like Barry White drowning in snot."
"Thang you, shithead. Bring hobe orgadic orange juice. Sood."
"Yeah! Yeah, will do," Bas nodded, typing an email in French to a man he knew at the newspaper in Nice.
"Sebastiad!"
Bas clicked send.
"Yes, Kurt, I got it. Organic orange juice. I'm on my way."
"Doh pulp."
"Yeah, no pulp, fresh squeezed," Bas said, standing and putting on his suit jacket. "I know what you like, hon. I'll bring you egg drop soup from Peking-Tokyo Express, too. I've just got to follow up on this lead for tomorrow's opening in Europe, but I can do that in the cab."
"Thang you, Bas."
"You're welcome, love. See you soon."
Bas rose, closing his laptop and throwing it in his bag, pulling his suit jacket on, and headed for the door.
He knew how he'd find Kurt when he got home: curled up on the couch wearing the red, wool blend union suit (that Bas had only once dared call an adult onsie), the lopsided afghan from Carole over him, drinking tea with lots of honey from a mug (world's best mommy, with a tiny Kurt handprint in green) that had been his mom's. If he was particularly cold or feverish, Kurt would also have a Hummel Tire and Lube hoodie on. All those items lived on a cedar shelf in their closet, just for when Kurt needed comfort.
Bas had asked him once why there wasn't anything from himself within the comfort stash. Kurt had shaken his head and replied that each of those items was a substitute for someone (the union suit was from Blaine), and what he needed more than anything else when he was sick was his real life love.
So Bas happily dropped everything and hurried home with the requested (or demanded) items to be Kurt's life-sized teddy bear.
Every time.