Preparations and Decisions

The next morning after breakfast, Harry decided to join Hermione for a walk down by the lake. It was a crisp, clear day, with the taste of wood smoke and fallen leaves in the air. The Giant Squid was lazily doing laps in the frigid water, looking for its own breakfast. In the distance, Hermione could hear Fang barking, and Hagrid calling for Madame Maxime, who had come down for a weekend visit.

"Harry, you're very quiet this morning," Hermione ventured, a little nervously. "Is anything the matter?"

They sat down on a bench overlooking the lake. Harry sighed and shrugged, his eyes downcast. "I -" he began shakily, "I miss being with Ginny, you know? I mean, I was finally with someone who I really wanted to be with, and she wanted me, too – not because I'm 'The-Boy-Who-Lived,' but because I'm me. And then, I had to let her go to keep her safe. I miss her, and it isn't fair."

Hermione was silent awhile, carefully deciding how to respond to her best friend's plight. "Harry, I think that you deserve any happiness you can get before you have to face Voldemort."

"Well, if I did continue it with Ginny, then a whole lot of good that would be to her when they decide to use her as bait, or worse, as a target to get to me," he spat out bitterly. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he shook his head. "I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to come across that way."

"I know," she said softly, looking Harry straight in the eyes. She took his hand in hers. "But Harry, I think you've underestimated Ginny. She truly loves you, and has already weighed and considered the risks of being with you. She's going into this eyes wide open. Harry, why not be open to love in this dark time? Love is a very powerful thing you know. Fighting for love is like fighting for your future. Love is unconquerable, it binds us, makes us whole and unstoppable." Hermione looked out over the lake, traitor tears springing to her eyes.

Harry silently pulled her into a hug. "'Hermione, no matter what, you've always been here for me. I want you to know that I'm here for you, too. What's been bothering you lately? You can tell me. I can already see that you've changed, grown up. We all have. But there's something more that's going on with you. You look so sad when you think no one's looking at you. I've seen Ginny look the same way," he smiled, pulling her closer. "You fell in love with him, didn't you 'Mione?" Harry asked softly, no hatred or malice tainting his query.

"Yes," she answered, her voice barely a whisper. "I did. And he loves me too. I can't bear to be away from him, it hurts so bad." Agony filled her voice, and more tears threatened to spill. Taking a breath to calm herself, Hermione brushed her tears away. "I never knew this to be fact, but it seems as though our souls joined. I think that's why I'm having such a hard time right now. Please don't hate me for it, Harry."

Harry released her from his hug, and looked into his long-time friend's eyes. "I could never, ever hate you Hermione! I've only ever wanted you to be happy, because I love you so much! You know that, don't you? I know that I've been a prat in the past, but now I'm different; I have to be! But can you be sure about your souls joining? I've heard that that's very powerful ancient magic! Sirius told me once that's why my Mum and Dad were so much in love. I thought it was just a story."

"Oh, Harry I do know that, I was just so scared to tell you! I'm not sure if I could handle losing you as well as Ron, because I knew how he was going to act. As for the joining...well, it's left me extremely sensitive to being away from him, and sometimes I even feel as if I know what he's thinking, or how he's feeling. It's very...intimate." Hermione said, blushing a little as she did. Harry's face automatically contorted into a look of disgust, which made her laugh. "When did you become so perceptive?"

He began to laugh as well. He didn't have to be happy about Snape since he hadn't really wrapped his head around it all yet, but he was happy for Hermione. That was all that really mattered to him. "Oh well, you know, I -"

"Why you bloody lying bitch!"

Harry and Hermione startled, their laughter silenced. Looking up the grassy knoll, Ron was standing above them, hands balled into fists, and face as red as his hair.

"Ron! What the - !" Harry started, jumping up and turning to face him.

Ron came storming down the hill, coming face to face with Hermione, oblivious to Harry's presence. "Here I come to say I'm sorry for being a prat yesterday," his voice rose, and he was pointing his finger in Hermione's face. "And I hear that you're shagging that git Snape?" Ron's voice rose to a roar by the end of the sentence. "How could you do this to me? Don't you know that I'm the one you should be with, not that traitor?"

Hermione was completely taken aback by Ron's outburst. It was the worst she'd ever seen him, and she already knew that he had a bad temper. Anger welled up inside her in response to his behaviour. It was then that she realized that she never truly knew him at all, and it was as if she were looking at a complete stranger. His jealousy and vicious attack spoke volumes to Hermione. His whole demeanor was off; Ron was acting completely out of character. Her eyes flashed, and rage started to fill her.

"How DARE you, Ronald Weasley! How DARE you speak to me in that way! What on earth is wrong with you? Severus has sacrificed everything for us, and just listen to you! You're acting like a child! Do you seriously think that I could ever be yours when just under the surface you are an unbalanced, angry person who can't bear any type of rejection? What about what I want? What about my happiness? You never made any attempt to be with me unless I was interested in someone else! What would you have me do? Wait around – what, years? - until you figure yourself out?" She began to shake with anger. "Don't you ever act like this around me again!" She turned to retreat up the hill, when Ron grabbed her arm, hard. "Let me go!" she screamed, her free hand reaching for her wand.

"Ron! What are you doing? Let her go!" Harry tried to come in between the two, but was knocked down. "Stop it Ron! You're being an idiot! You're not thinking, mate! Cool off, let it go. Please, don't do this to her!"

SMACK! Hermione got a good one in when he strengthened his grasp and didn't let go, instantly marking the left side of Ron's face. "You – you! You WHORE! He's poisoned you against me, hasn't he?" he sputtered, shocked that she would strike him.

Panting, Hermione backed off, and straightened up. Her wand was pointing at Ron. Harry stepped into the space separating them, palms up, trying to bring calm to the situation. "Both of you, stop it now! We shouldn't be fighting like this."

Hermione wasn't listening. "I can't believe you, Ronald! Will you ever learn to control your ridiculous, juvenile jealousy of who I choose to be with? I THOUGHT we were friends!"

"Ha! WERE is right! I could never go back to how we were after this. I thought you felt something for me!" With that, he stormed up the hill, towards the castle.

"Hermione!" Harry took her by the shoulders, hunching down a little to look into her eyes. "Hermione, are you alright?"

"Physically, yes Harry. That bastard!" Hermione was shaking, and still very angry.

Harry shook his head. "It'll be alright, I won't let him do that again." He raised his voice so that Ron could hear him. "He's being a complete prat about this. I'll talk to him later, I promise. I didn't think that even he could be that bad," Harry said, shaking his head. "It's as if he was a different person. I've never seen that side of him. Bloody hell, Hermione. I think that he's really hurt."

Hermione had slumped back down on the bench, her hand still gripping her wand. Stunned at first, she began to cry as the realization of what had happened sunk in. "Well he's not the only one. Oh Harry, why is it so hard for him to understand? You understand, can't he do the same for me, his friend?"

Sitting down beside her, he put his hand on her shoulder. "Hermione, I don't want you to worry about it, alright? How about we go up for some tea?" He looked at her hopefully. "Then, I think I – I'll try to speak with Ginny."

"Oh Harry, I'm so proud of you! You deserve to be happy." Hermione stood, and smiled bravely through her teary eyes. She knew he was just trying to distract her from the confrontation. "Yes, tea sounds lovely."

Arm in arm, Harry and Hermione headed slowly back up to the castle, admiring the beauty of the castle's grounds, determined to enjoy what was left of their last few free days.

"Hermione!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, jumping up as the two entered Hogwarts huge kitchen. "What's happened to you?" She looked over at Harry, her expression suspicious.

"I'm fine, really Molly. Nothing happened."

Harry sighed, shaking his head. "It's no good. She can see right through us, and well, she should know what went on."

"Och! It was Ronald again now, wasn't it dearie? Oh, and here I thought that I convinced him to apologize!" Mrs. Weasley's eyes flashed with anger.

Hermione looked down at the floor. "Well, he did come down to do that, and he overheard Harry and I...discussing the complexity of my relationship with Severus."

Molly looked back over to Harry, an unspoken question and a bit of a challenge written on her face. Harry shook his head. "It's alright, Mrs. Weasley. I respect Hermione's decision, whether I agree with it or not. I understand that Dumbledore trusted Snape with everything. I'll put my faith in that. Ron, on the other hand - "

Mrs. Weasley slammed her fist down on the table she was standing beside. "Hormones! That stubborn little - " she tried to regain her composure. "I'm sorry for whatever he said to you dear."

"I know, and it's not your fault," Hermione said quickly, "But I don't know if our friendship can ever be salvaged."

Just then, Ginny came in with a huge smile on her face. As soon as she saw Harry however, the smile faded sadly away. "Oh, I – sorry. Um, I have to go - "

"Ginny, please," Harry said quickly, getting up before she could run out of there, "I need to talk to you. Can we?" He was nervous, Hermione could tell. She tried to catch his eye, to convey her support.

"Um, yeah – alright."

They left the kitchens, Mrs. Weasley staring after them. "Well, took him long enough to figure it out, hey dearie? Men! They're just so thick sometimes, mmm? Let's have some tea. I need to talk to you about some decisions the Order has made."

Mrs. Weasley had tried to be sympathetic, but she was firm when telling Hermione of the Order's decision to keep her there while Harry, Ron, Lupin, and Tonks went after the Horcruxes. Hermione, of course, was furious. Their reasoning had been that Ron's outbursts were based on his emotional instability when it came to Hermione, and it would jeopardize the mission if they were to continue. This was a ridiculous, stupid decision, Hermione thought, since her skills far surpassed Ron's in most areas. However, this was the Order's decision, and she would have to stick by it. There also seemed to be some other reason that they weren't voicing at the moment – no matter. The boys would, as ordered, have to apparate back to Headquarters to update the Order on their progress, sticking to a prearranged schedule. They couldn't afford to have any owls intercepted now. Their objectives were carefully mapped out; locations, methods for destruction, and escape plans were all memorized. It was time to begin the hunt. Hermione was instructed to get a secret message off to Severus, informing him of their mission readiness. How she was to do this, she wasn't sure. But, she wasn't called the brightest witch of the age for nothing, and so she would work out the best way to contact her lover. She thought of her amulet. Perhaps she could get him to come to her, or let him know that she was coming to him...

Hermione was beginning to think that Headquarters had a plan for her – one that she was secretly, and guiltily, happy to have. She really didn't want to be anywhere near Ron, but she would miss Harry badly. Maybe she could do her part to help him best from her position at Headquarters...depending on what the Order had in mind for her, of course.

It had only been a week now since she last saw Severus, but it felt like an eternity. When Harry and Ginny got back together, Hermione had been happy for them, but at the same time, she was screaming inside to be reunited with the part that made her whole, the rest of her soul; Severus. She would be with him again, soon. And soon after that, they would never be parted again. This thought was what kept Hermione sane.

For now, she had been helping with the preparations for the upcoming conflict. Not having an actual duty assigned to her yet, Hermione bustled about, helping Molly, Fleur, Minerva, and Ginny do those things that women do to keep a good Headquarters running. In a time of war, it always seemed to fall to the women - Madame Pomfrey was still about, and Hermione assisted her as well, brewing medical potions and readying the ward for the imminent casualties that battle would bring in the near future. Neville, Luna, and the others that had stayed instead of going abroad to continue their education, and had taken to extra defense practice – with Moody tutoring them. It seemed as though the D.A. had a new leader in Harry's absence. No one was sure when anything was going to happen, but everyone knew that it would, and soon.

The hunters would leave at daybreak, in three days' time. She had that long to contact Severus. Absently, she fingered her amulet, and thought of her lover. 'I need to see you, love. How can I get to you?' Sighing, Hermione settled down in the large, four poster bed for a well deserved rest. Closing the heavy velvet curtains to keep out the chill October air, Hermione snuggled down into the duvet, muttering a warming charm. The amulet then began to feel warm and soothing against her skin, and she fell into the realm of starlight, dreaming of the time when she could be in Severus' loving embrace always.