A/N: SURPRISE! I'm ALIVE! Mwahahahahaaa!
Shocked I'm still alive? Sorry for the long hiatus. I've been busy busy busy. Some of it good, some of it bad, but you know what? I'm back and I have lots of fun stuff to write about and play with. Hope you are still with me and aren't too mad. I do my best. Writing is a hard job. But I've missed it so much!
It Begins
August 7th
very early Sunday morning
The stone hallway was dark and cold. The gentle slap, slap, of bare feet echoed softly. Breathing hard with anticipation, he could almost hear the ecstatic beat of his heart as the chained stone door loomed closer. As before, lust rose in him and he caressed the door possessively. Demon's chill laughter answered as before. But this time, it wasn't the only response.
Dark red blood welled up in the cracks that outlined the door. The copper smell filled his nose with rot and death, and caution seeped in through his burning hot desire to throw open this door and possess what lay inside. Demon was like a fire. He must be handled carefully or it could burn him. But, oh yes, he would handle Demon. He would make Demon into the perfect weapon and nothing would stop him or hurt him again.
As the blood oozed down and covered the cold stone surface and pooled around the bottom, he hungrily stepped up to the door and caught the warm fluid on his first two fingers. The silkiness and heat of the liquid on his skin made him shiver with ecstasy.
Suddenly, the blood flared up with a bright red flash and blinded him. He stumbled back, but when he opened his eyes he was no longer in the cool, dark, stone corridor. He was in an ugly little house. But he had no time to really take it in. Demon walked through the front door, his head was bowed in a mockery of humility. He almost looked unassuming in the small human body he wore.
Demon walked calmly down a narrow hallway and into the kitchen. Pots clattered to the floor as a thin woman screamed. At first, the shout was angry, but quickly filled with terror as Demon lifted his head and revealed his cruel, blazing, hungry eyes. Demon stepped forward, his mouth opening into a horrific grin that had nothing of happiness or humor in it.
The woman was yanked forward and spread belly down on the table. Then the real show began, a powerful display of the darkest magics. Cold, high laughter rang in his ears throughout the agonizing and meticulous torture playing out before him. And when that was done, Demon walked calmly into the hallway trailing footsteps of blood. And on the stairs, Demon stood still and patient, eyes gleaming in his blood-spattered face.
They didn't have to wait long before a fat man entered the house. Demon lifted a hand and the man was floating off the ground and trailing after like a grotesque balloon. Upstairs, they entered the first bedroom on the right. What happened with the woman looked playful compared to what followed. And he realized that these memories were not only given to him as a promise of power, but also as a chilling warning.
For a bright moment, fear overpowered his hunger to possess this force, and he fled…
… Shadow sat up with a gasp that quickly turned into something else. He turned so that his head hung over the edge of the bed and vomited. The smell made him retch again. Sweating, whimpering, he crawled away to the other side of the bed. The horror of seeing his aunt and uncle being unraveled still flashed before his burning eyes. He could hardly breathe, his teeth were beginning to chatter, and he could only vaguely feel his fingers and toes. His chest was burning and he wondered hysterically if he were having a heart attack.
He knew he was going into shock. His thoughts were jumping all over the place. Back to the dream, back to the present, to the physical complaints, the mental horror show. He knew there were breathing exercises that could calm him. He could do Occlumency. Do something to stop the panic and horror from choking him, but he couldn't think of how to do any of the things he knew the names of.
Stumbling, swallowing back bile and screams, he made his way clumsily across the room and into the hall. Thank God safety was only one door away. He collapsed to his knees, wanting to cry or run or lash out, anything to block out the images seared into the back of his eyes, but he managed to pull himself back from the edge just long enough to pound on the door.
xXxXxXx
Severus woke instantly. He yanked up his robe and flung it on over his night clothes as he pulled open his door. Only his quick reflexes allowed him to catch his son before he fell. He grabbed the teen, allowing Shadow to rest most of his weight on him, but even still, Shadow was shaking so badly they could hardly make it to his bed before Shadow collapsed again.
"Breathe. Follow me," Severus said firmly and began taking deep slow breaths.
Shadow shivered against his father's hands, which were braced against his shoulders. Slowly his tears and the nausea lessened enough for Severus to stand and fetch some potion. Shadow downed the Calming Draught without hesitating. It blessedly cooled his racing thoughts and dampened his emotions.
"Just keep breathing," Severus murmured, rubbing circles on the teen's back.
He said nothing about the shirt Shadow wore being damp with sweat. He wanted to. He wanted to demand an explanation for his son's distress, but it would do no good to get Shadow worked up again. He assumed there was no immediate crisis. Surely Shadow would have said something before now, had that been the case. So Severus had room to be patient and careful. But he felt his determination to destroy whatever caused this panic in his son become needle sharp and strong as steel. He carefully blanked his mind before the sensitive teen could pick up on it. He didn't want Shadow thinking his anger was toward him.
"I saw it… In my dream…" Shadow whispered hoarsely. He lifted his eyes, bright with torment, and took refuge in the calm, accepting expression on his mentor's face. "I saw Demon torture them."
Severus tensed and gently cupped his son's face in his hands. "Shadow. Let me into your mind. I'm going to check your barriers."
Shadow shivered. He didn't want to be in his own head, let alone let someone else in there. It felt like his head was swishing with blood that was going to spill over at any second. But he opened his eyes and let Severus slip past his shaken barriers.
Severus thought he was familiar with water landscapes, his own mind was shaped as the surface of the ocean, thoughts and memories revealed as the folds of the waves that constantly tossed and churned, protecting them from being read. But swimming in the ocean of Shadow's mind wasn't at all similar. Tall seaweed and kelp blocked his view and darting fishes of all shapes and sizes distracted his eyes. But he was a master Legimens and he gently pushed passed all this surface interference.
He dove deep down toward the dark ocean floor where light didn't reach. He created his own light and kept going when it was so dark and deep that he was no longer sure he was in an ocean. It seemed more like a black hole of nothingness. Just when he was about to turn back, he saw it. It looked like storm shutters over a cellar. Severus knew that within that cellar would stand two more doors; one made of stone leading to Demon and the other a small cupboard door leading to Boy.
Heavy steel chains and three padlocks secured the cellar door shut. They looked steady and intact. He ran his mental fingers over every link and over every lock and found no weaknesses. Deeply unhappy, he began to rise from the deep well, swam back through the ocean, and broke through the surface into air.
Severus closed his eyes and rubbed at them, easing away the strain. He was back in his bedroom at Headquarters. Shadow was sitting before him, still tense and shaken. But he had nothing he could tell the teen. He had no reassurances to give. Severus had no idea why Demon's memories were bleeding into Shadow's conscious mind. It didn't seem possible.
"The alters are secured. There are no breaks in your defenses."
Shadow wrapped his arms around his chest and closed his eyes tight. "That's good. Right?"
"Yes. But I see no reason why you should be dreaming Demon's memories." Severus put his hand gently on the teen's knee. "Do you think you can describe what you saw in detail?"
Shadow shook his head sharply once. There was no way he could talk about it. No way did he want to see it yet again. No. He wouldn't.
"Very well," Severus accepted. "I recommend you play some piano. Focus your thoughts on something completely different. Perhaps you will feel more like talking tomorrow."
Shadow doubted that very much, but nodded. Standing, he made his way to the door, knowing Severus' dark eyes were still on him. He felt fragile and brittle. It wasn't a feeling that made him at all happy. He wanted Severus to come with him. He didn't want to be alone, but he couldn't bring himself to ask for his company either. It was too great a weakness.
Hand on the doorknob, he spoke with his back still turned to his father. "I'm going to get changed."
"I need to make a few notes in the Potions Journal that arrived a few days ago. Do you mind if I meet you in the sitting room? I can construct a silencing ward so that your playing won't disturb anyone else in the house."
Shadow nodded, greatly relieved and embarrassed, and hurried back to his room, where he quickly cleaned up the mess he made and changed into clean clothes. He chose dark blue jeans and a smoky grey sweater. Severus was waiting for him when he came out. He was dressed, as always, all in black, his teaching robes hanging open. The familiarity of the attire and the man made something tight in Shadow's chest relax. He was safe. Nothing was wrong. He just hoped the piano would help him believe that.
He played for hours while Severus sat silently with him, just listening to the chaotic spill of melody that poured from his restless fingers. He didn't stop until Ginny walked in, sleepily rubbing her eyes. She stopped in shock, her mouth falling open, when she was suddenly surrounded by the loud and resonant piano song.
"Shadow! That was beautiful! I didn't know you knew how to play."
Tired, but not at all tempted to sleep, Shadow smiled at her. "I enjoy it."
"Do you play, too, Professor?" Ginny asked, looking at Severus like she had never seen him before.
"No, but his mother did," Severus answered.
Shadow smiled with a deep pang of sadness. His father spoke the complete truth. Lily played, but so did Amalia. He remembered seeing in the Pensieve Severus sitting in a chair, holding a three month old Tabby, while Amalia laughed and played a simple country song. She had loved music and dancing. Shadow wished he had the chance to play with her.
"Can I hear you play something?" Ginny broke through his thoughts and he gently lowered the lid to the keys.
"I'm actually kind of tired. Maybe some other time." Shadow stood and returned the piano to his necklace and put it back around his neck.
Ginny laughed in delight. "I had wondered where a piano had suddenly come from. That's an awesome bit of magic!"
"Thank you. My father did it for me," Shadow smiled.
Severus stood and adjusted his robe indifferently, but Shadow could feel his embarrassment and pleasure clearly. "I believe it is about time for breakfast. Shall we?"
Shadow grinned at Ginny and she politely hid a giggle behind her hand.
xXxXxXx
After breakfast, Severus cornered Shadow in a hallway before he could slip away. "I was wondering if you felt more able to discuss your dream."
"No." Shadow moved to push passed his father, but the man grabbed his arm gently. Shadow pulled it out of his grasp and glared, crossing his arms defensively across his chest.
"I am concerned. Dreams usually foretell the merging of your conscious mind and the alter in question," Severus insisted.
"That's not going to happen," the teen answered with steely determination. "Even if, by some twisted unconscious desire, I were trying to merge, it would never happen."
"Why?" Severus asked, taken aback by the passionate response.
"Because." Shadow turned his face away, his fists clinched, the line of his jaw tense. "I would still have to consciously embrace all that Demon is. I wouldn't. Ever."
Severus had no choice but to let his son go. He said nothing, but his eyes were still dark with worry. He wasn't sure what to do, but he'd have to come up with a solution quickly. After all, Shadow may feel that way now, but he had also felt that way about Kit, and they had merged long ago.
xXxXxXx
"Shadow!" Fred greeted when the teen found them alone in the potions lab.
"I need your help," he said seriously and the twins were instantly attentive. "I need you to help me keep tabs on Moody, Diggle, and Shacklebolt. They have it out for my father."
"How do you know?" George blinked.
"Or do we want to know?" Fred asked slyly.
Shadow laughed, "Let me keep some secrets."
"Sure thing, mate," Fred wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"The trouble is Moody's eye, right?" Shadow asked. "It would sense any magical monitoring device. I bet not even your Extendable Ears pass when he's in the room."
"They don't," Fred agreed.
"But sometimes he lets them stay," George added.
"He approves 'constant vigilance', after all."
"I think he thinks we should be more informed than we are."
"That's interesting." Shadow ran his hands through his curls, thinking of the possible uses of such a mindset. "In any case, we need to know what he's doing when he doesn't want you to hear. That's why I was thinking something Muggle. That eye wouldn't sense anything wrong if it isn't magical."
"But electronics don't work well in places with a lot of magic," Fred protested.
"That's where I need your help." Shadow leaned forward. "I need you to help me figure out a way to get electronic devices to work here, without doing anything magical to them. I think it can be done."
"Nothing is impossible," George agreed with a grin.
"We love a challenge," Fred laughed, putting an arm around his twin. "Leave it to us."
"I'll get you the Muggle stuff later today," Shadow promised.
"How? They won't let you leave," Fred questioned.
"Let's just say I know a dog or two who will help."
Fred and George shared a look and then burst into laughter. They hugged the surprised teen and said together, "This is going to be a beautiful partnership."
xXxXxXx
Monday
Neville woke and smiled at the summer sun that was pouring in through his window. That was the one good thing about coming home. He got to work outside more freely. Flinging his bed-covers back, he got dressed in some clothes he put aside for gardening. He found his grandmother and uncle already at the breakfast table. The Longbottom matriarch frowned deeply at seeing him.
"Go upstairs and put some decent clothes on, young man. I will not have you walking around in rags. The Longbottoms are not vagabonds. Your mother would be appalled."
Throughout the tirade, Neville had calmly walked to the table and took a seat.
Augusta fell silent with shock, her face tightening with outrage.
"If you had asked, I would have explained that I was going to work out in the garden today and perhaps put into use some of the techniques I learned at the Institute. I didn't want to get my nice things dirty." He turned to look at the old man who had begun chuckling at the confrontation. "By the way, thank you for the flower you sent me for my birthday, Uncle Algie. It's fascinating and I've already begun studying it."
"Might as well put your only talent to use," Algie cackled.
Neville nodded, saying nothing to the backhanded compliment.
After that, breakfast was an unusually silent affair. Neville couldn't help but think it was an improvement. This was his second day being home, and he wondered when his grandmother was going to realize he wasn't going to let her beat him down anymore. He hoped she figured it out soon because it was getting harder to stay calm in the face of her non-ceasing jabs. Maybe he would write Ginny while he was outside. That always made him feel better.
xXxXxXx
Tuesday
Shadow had been gone for only three days and Draco already felt like he was going to go mad with boredom. He could only spend so many hours over books and in studies.
"Are you listening?" Sirius demanded, scowling. He was tense as well. He had never been the studious type and they've been putting in about ten hours a day or more in the library. Going into the Muggle village to get what Shadow needed had been a nice change of pace, but it wasn't enough to ease most of his restlessness.
"I need a break." Draco stood up and pushed away from the table.
"What's the matter, Little Malfoy?" Sirius taunted with a grin. "Shocked that you actually have to work for something for once in your pampered life?"
Draco spun around, his grey eyes on fire. "You don't know the first thing about who I am, Black. I suggest you keep your mouth shut unless you want to flaunt what an ignorant fleabag you really are."
Sirius growled and cast a spell that would turn Draco's hair red with gold stripes. Draco dodged behind a bookcase, pushed some books off the shelf so he could aim at Sirius from behind cover, and cast a Babbling Hex at him. Sirius shielded and flipped over the table, dodging behind his own bookcase and copying Draco's position.
The blond stopped and laughed. "I don't know about you, Black, but we should take this to the dueling room. Severus will skin us alive if we damage his precious books."
Sirius laughed in return and bolted for the door, determined to get to the dueling room first and gain the upper hand. Draco cried out in outrage and lit after him, protesting that Gryffindor's weren't allowed to cheat.
"You're gonna lose a lot more duels than you win if you hold your enemies to preset behavioral patterns," Sirius lectured as if to a three year old. "Strip your opponent from all titles and categories. Once we cross wands, I am no longer a Gryffindor, a Marauder, a Black, or an ex-con. I am merely Sirius and you better observe, adapt, and respond to the strategies that you see in the moment as if nothing else exists outside the duel. Now learn from the master."
The last was said as Sirius flung open the door and sprinted across the dueling room, jumped on the slightly raised platform, and claimed the higher ground. As soon as Draco stepped through the door, he was under attack. He rolled forward, putting up shields. The third spell made the blond's shields shatter and he was hogtied in seconds.
Laughing in delight, Sirius let the snarling Slytherin go. Draco was on his feet in the same moment and the duel continued. They fought against each other ruthlessly. Draco used all the spells in his arsenal, except for the most deadly - This was just practice, after all - and Sirius did the same. As the hours went by, they both got tired, but there was a notable improvement in both their skills.
"We should do this everyday," Sirius sighed. He was laying on his back, half off the mat in the center of the room, covered in sweat and his lungs burning from panting for so long. He hadn't been happier in days.
"I agree." Draco wasn't as undignified as the mutt, who was sprawled on the floor. Instead, he was seated on the edge of the platform, but he was just as tired and his whole body ached from muscle strain. Mostly he was just annoyed. Sirius had incapacitated him seven times when Draco had only returned the favor twice. It was intolerable. He obviously needed to improve his dueling skills.
xXxXxXx
Wednesday
Remus arrived back at Headquarters feeling glad to be back. Minerva had set him out on an errand for her and only now had he completed it. He found her in the study she had claimed as her office. She looked up and smiled, but her face was tired, her eyes dark.
"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly as he hurried forward.
"Looking bad, am I?" she laughed. "Nothing's the matter. Except for the fact that the teens have all willingly been working with Severus down in the potions lab. I dread what they are doing, especially with the twins involved." She leaned back in her chair and rubbed at her eyes. "And dementors are freed from Azkaban, the work of the Death Eaters no doubt, and breeding across Europe. The Foreign Ministers are not happy, but it does get Fudge off our backs, as well as Severus', for the time being. But the biggest blow is that Macleod Vance, the agent that gave the most detailed reports on the Death Eaters, has been killed. Emmeline is devastated."
"I'm so sorry," Remus said sadly. It was always hard to hear of the deaths the war produced. "I never met him."
"He was Emmeline's nephew, only twenty-five," Minerva sighed, covering her eyes again.
"I brought the books you need," Remus offered, wishing he could do more for her. "I also took the Ministry exam to update my teaching license. I'll be able to take back the History of Magic class this year."
"That's excellent news, Remus," she smiled at him, life coming back into her eyes. "And the other position? Have you thought about it?"
"I have," he inclined his head, his amber eyes sparkling. "I would be honored to accept the position as Head of Gryffindor House in your stead."
"Thank you, Remus," Minerva stood and came around the desk to hug him. "I would trust you above anyone else to lead our House well."
He returned the hug easily.
"Now," she stepped back and led him to the kitchen, "Are you hungry? I'm sure Molly has something for you to snack on."
Remus laughed. Molly was indeed in the kitchen, working with Ginny preparing lunch. The four of them had tea together, talking of insubstantial things. When they finished their cookies, Minerva rose to return to her office, leaving him with one more assignment. She wanted him to write up an article to be sent to the Daily Prophet instructing the populace how to defend themselves against the wild dementors.
Alone, he made his way through Headquarters, looking for Severus and Shadow. He found them in the lab. It wasn't hard to recognize the strong smell of the Animagus Revealing Potion. Shadow, however, was working on something different with Severus. It looked like the potion they were to give Shadow in case of a seizure.
"Moony!" the twins cried out together in welcome.
"Attend your potion!" Severus snapped. "It's critical you stir exactly thirteen times."
The twins obediently returned their full attention to their cauldrons.
Remus smiled and could see why Minerva would be worried. She had no idea why the teens thought the potion was so important, and their meek obedience was disturbing without that explanation. He let them be, promising to see them at lunch. He might as well get started on the article for the paper.
It wasn't until after lunch that Remus got Shadow alone. The teen looked pale, but otherwise seemed healthy. He cast a few discreet diagnostic tests to be sure. They came back within acceptable ranges.
"How are you?" he asked, hugging he youth.
"Fine," Shadow smiled. "I hear Draco and Sirius are in a dueling war."
"They are," Remus laughed. "I saw them yesterday and Sirius had two black eyes, while Draco had his lips and nails charmed scarlet. The blond was quite upset at not being able to charm them back to their normal colors."
Shadow laughed. "Draco didn't mention that."
"I took pictures," Remus winked.
"Can I see them?" he asked eagerly, eyes bright with mirth and possible plans of blackmail.
"As soon as I develop them. So tell me what you've been up to?"
"Well, I hang out with Ginny and the twins mostly when I'm not being tested by the professors to see what level I'm at. Today is my Potion exam." Shadow moved to sit on the couch and Remus sat across from him.
"How are the tests going?"
"Good." Shadow shrugged. "I decided to do the best I could on them. I thought it would be more suspicious if I was under my age group than if I were smarter. I have supposedly been home schooled with Severus' expectations all my life."
"True," Remus chuckled.
"I told the twins who I was," the teen added unexpectedly.
"How did they take it?" Remus asked, not batting an eye.
"Very good. They won't tell anyone and they've promised to help me."
"What about Hermione and Ron?"
Shadow sighed. "I'm not sure I want them to know. I still talk to Hermione, but I've been kind of distant. I'm afraid she'll figure out that I was Harry. She's smart like that. Ron, on the other hand, doesn't trust me. He still doesn't like Severus, though he's not suspicious of his loyalties anymore, and he believes the superstitions about my eyes. It makes him tense and nervous around me, so he mostly avoids my company. And he's not the only one. Several Order members feel the same suspicion. Diggle thinks I'm contagious or something the way he stares and always makes sure to stand on the other side of the room."
"Don't worry about it," Remus soothed. "Your friends will come around."
Minerva chose that moment to walk in. She smiled at them sitting together and the obvious relaxation in Shadow's body language. "I see you've met our famous Shadow Snape."
"Famous?" Remus asked, eyeing the teen.
"He's quite the academic prodigy. He's at a sixth or fifth year level in some of the classes we've tested him in. I was wondering if you would be so kind as test him in History as well?"
"Of course," he agreed. "But does this mean he's going to be taking classes with the fifth and sixth years?"
"He'll room with his year mates, but yes. I was thinking of arranging the class schedules so that he could attend the classes he needs at the level he is currently at. I don't believe making him sit in on classes where he is already capable would be fair." Minerva looked closely at Shadow. "You wouldn't mind would you? Attending classes where the students will be older than you? They might not even be of your House."
"I'll be fine. It's better than learning stuff I already know," Shadow smiled at her in reassurance. "Besides, I like the idea of getting to know people from all the Houses. The students here are Gryffindor, and it would be nice to have some classes with them."
Minerva lifted her eyebrow archly, "Don't be too sure that you won't be a Gryffindor yourself, young man. I see a lot of bravery in you."
"I guess we'll see in September," Shadow smiled at her, secrets in his eyes.
xXxXxXx
Thursday
Severus looked around and saw with sharp crystal clarity. He hadn't been this still inside since he was an active spy. His thoughts - the constant mental chatter - were suppressed. His mind was operating at a highly perceptive and reactive level. It was a mindset very much attuned to the immediate present.
When he was spying, he'd go quiet inside like this and it would allow him to be able to give minutely detailed reports to Dumbledore, allowing the old man to act wisely. All well and good, especially if one was trying to gain information instead of trying to react to it, but Severus was well aware of the costs as well as the advantages. One of the costs was that instead of his normal six hours of sleep at night, he needed nine. And it weakened his ability to consider long term effects or plans, as well as muting his emotions to almost nothing.
You'd think with everything that was happening, he'd need to be able to plan ahead and strategize, that it would be a large mistake to enter this kind of mindset now, but Severus had already made as much future plans as he could with what he knew. And he was already prepared for the most immediate challenges the future held for him. Which was mainly the trial and revealing Shadow at the Ministry tomorrow.
What he really needed right now was information. Information that could help him plan for the future and Shadow's safety. And, perhaps most importantly, he needed to better understand the changes in his son's still-fractured mind in order to know the best step to take toward healing him. So Severus had retreated and stilled his mind and self-awareness, virtually flooding his mind with outside stimulus and clearer perceptions of those around him, including his son. It was the fourth day of such detailed observation and he had a wealth of material to consider tonight when he relaxed back to a more normal awareness.
For now, he stood on Diagon Alley with Shadow at his side. It was the second week in August, Hogwarts started soon, and many of the shoppers were families with school-age children. Thankfully, Severus had timed the visit to coincide with lunch, so there weren't as many people on the street as there could have been, the majority having retreated somewhere for lunch.
He noticed Shadow looking slightly down and fall back a single step. It was a posture of shyness, and yet Shadow contradicted that impression by striding along confidently, his shoulders straight. The overall effect was one of politeness, perhaps, instead of timidity. Severus took this all in and understanding shimmered to the surface of his mind.
This allows him to hide his eyes, as well as encourage people to ignore him.
Noting this, Severus continued down the street. Most people didn't glance at them. Those that did, noted them and continued on. Only two people lingered to watch them pass. One of these was Cassandra Pucey, a soon to be 6th year Slytherin.
She was tall and slender with light brown eyes and long, curly auburn hair. She was beautiful, or she would have been considered so if her face wasn't always so steely. Her lips were always tight and slightly turned down at the corners, and her light eyes were bright with calculation. She was ambitious and ruthless, two Slytherin qualities, but she lacked the third: deviousness. She did not possess the capacity to hide her intent or personality behind the many masks Slytherins wear to beguile allies and enemies alike.
Severus felt her eyes on him; he felt her eyes on Shadow. He could almost see her thoughts, so readable were her eyes to him in this state. First, she realized she didn't recognize Shadow as a student at Hogwarts. Second, she noted their similarities. Then she started speculating, calculating, going through lists in her head of people who may know about Snapes. Severus let her speculate and passed by without word or glance of acknowledgement. She was not a threat. Not yet. As far as he knew, her family was still neutral in this War.
The second was none other than Neville Longbottom. The teen seemed to have grown another half-inch and had lost even more weight as his extra baby-fat was finally being put to use during this rapid growth spurt. Now he stood at least five feet and ten inches tall; four whole inches taller than Shadow.
Severus watched as Longbottom's eyes widened in pleased surprise, his generous mouth pulling into a smile. Shadow didn't slow or acknowledge the other teen and Neville stiffened. Severus looked for hurt, but the Gryffindor had merely realized he was not suppose to know Shadow yet. He turned away and hurried after his grandmother, not looking back.
Finally, they reached their destination: Olivander's Wand Shop. The door made no sound as he pushed it open and held it for Shadow to pass. The round shop was dusty and dimly lit. Dust filled the air and rows of small boxes lined the walls. A counter sat at the back, behind it was another door, which held more stacks of boxes. It seemed no one was here, but Severus knew better. He was hyper-aware, so he caught the faint movement of dust. He turned to the left and there Olivander stood.
"Severus Snape. Ten and a half inches. A chip of a basilisk fang still wet with poison set in pine wood."
"Very good," Severus inclined his head. "But I am not here to catch up. I need a wand for my son. He will be starting Hogwarts this year and cannot keep using the hand-me down that I provided him with."
The lies were in place. Olivander and Cassandra Pucey will both unknowingly work for him, spreading awareness of Shadow, making it harder for the Ministry to decide to erase them, should it come to that. Also he was setting down why Shadow hadn't visited before now. But the real reason they need to get a wand was because Shadow had to have a wand to check at the Ministry tomorrow, and it could not be Harry Potter's wand. Besides. It was never a bad idea to have more than one wand tuned specifically to you.
"Son, eh?" Olivander glided forward, his eyes glowing eerily. He put on his most ominous and knowing face. He loved impressing the children. Most of the year he was alone and lonely. Only the month of August did he get to play and he went out of his way to make a lasting impression.
Shadow lifted his head and met the wand-maker's eyes. The effect was instantaneous. Olivander froze, horror slowly seeping from his mind into his limbs, stiffening them. The old man quickly made a gesture with his fingers in the motion of a simple defensive spell, had he been holding his wand. It was purely reaction, no spell was actually cast. Much in the way a Muggle would cross himself, Severus considered.
"A Cursed one!" Olivander hissed, backing away now.
Shadow had gone rigid. Severus could clearly see the aggravation and disappointment in the way he held his shoulders and the stiffness of his face. "I have no evil intent, sir. I just want to get my own wand… Please," he added as an after thought.
Olivander wasn't buying Shadow's stated innocence, no matter how true it really was.
Severus knew it was going to be harder for the elderly to look past the ignorant superstitions surrounding those with multi-colored eyes. But the newer generations grew up with bigger things to worry about and many prejudices and superstitions had dwindled. Severus doubted many of the students would react with fear, except perhaps the purebloods, or even know about the old superstitions surrounding Shadow's eyes.
"Come now, Olivander. Will you see to us or won't you?" Severus drawled, but icy warning crept into his voice. He wanted this over with and he didn't need Olivander to spread hysterical accounts of his son.
"Make him shut his eyes," Olivander demanded, hovering between desire for the money a purchase would bring him and ordering them out.
Shadow sighed, looked up at Severus as if for guidance, then shut his eyes. For good measure, he tipped his head forward and his soft, ebony curls hid his face further. Standing like that, he looked thin and small, an innocent fourteen-year-old boy. There was nothing remarkable about him. Severus was pleased his son, at least, had the ability to act and deceive. Unlike Miss Pucey, Shadow was a true Slytherin.
Not at all inclined to draw things out, Olivander looked at Shadow's aura and went to fetch the most likely candidates. The first exploded the box Olivander brought it in. The second spit a single white spark before dying. But the third…
Violet ribbons spilled and cascaded around them and splashed the walls with rich, warm light. Even Olivander was awestruck at the utter beauty of it. He didn't even make a fuss about Shadow's eyes as the teen stood there with them wide open and grinning with delighted shock.
"Good." Severus allowed a small smile of his own. It looked like Shadow's new wand was even better suited for him than the old one. "How much?"
"That tis one of the eldest wands in my shop," Olivander said fondly, as if talking about a dear and favored child. "Made almost two hundred and thirty years ago. Ten inches, ash wood with a single, pure gold siren hair. It is very sensitive to it's holder's intent and therefore a wand for a wizard skilled at non-verbal casting, but a word of warning, young Snape. Because of it's sensitivity, spells cast with inattention, even if spoken and executed correctly, will have odd effects depending on your mood and unconscious desires."
"Thank you," Shadow nodded and slipped the wand deftly into the sheath on his forearm, hidden by his plain black robes.
"Twelve gallons," Olivander snapped at Severus, having finally realized he had been talking civilly to the teen. "Tis a bit more than I normally charge, but that is a very special wand."
Severus didn't argue. He pulled out his money purse and deposited the right amount into the old man's hand. They ignored the old man glaring at their backs as they swiftly left the store.
"Where are we going?" Shadow asked. He looked up with a frown, noticing they were not heading back toward the entrance.
"To get your school books and equipment," Severus answered. That got his son's attention.
"You know my test results?" he asked, quickening his pace so he could talk more easily.
Severus nodded.
"Well?" Shadow pushed, blue and green eyes bright. In his preoccupation with the news, he had forgotten to hide them.
They passed two second years and Severus' heightened senses picked up their reaction. "Did you see that?" "Yeah, cool." "Wonder what spell he used?" "Maybe we can find out at school." Severus smiled to himself, imagining half the school charming their eyes different colors. It seemed his son would forever be a trend setter, no matter who he was.
"Father," Shadow called impatiently, eyes narrowed.
"You scored all across the board. Third year level in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. Fourth year in Astronomy, Divination, Muggle Studies, and History of Magic." Severus saw Shadow frown at this last and explained, "It is only because Binns ruined you the first three years, most everyone else would be at that level as well, no matter what grade they are in."
Shadow nodded, accepting that, but still a bit disappointed in how many classes he scored so low in. He'd been attending Hogwarts for five years, after all, and doing a lot of independent study.
"You scored at a fifth year level in Transfiguration, Herbology, and Care of Magical Creatures. At a sixth year level in Charms, and, should you choose to continue with either Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts, which I highly recommend, you will be taking classes with the seventh years."
Shadow grinned, actually proud of himself. Severus gently squeezed his shoulder, expressing his own pride the only way he knew how. They entered the bookstore and the moment dissipated, but the small smile remained on Shadow's face. It was good to see. His son had been too drawn and pale as of late, too serious.
"So I assume you have an idea of what classes you want to take, regardless of your scores?"
"Yes," Shadow acknowledged and led the way to the appropriate bookshelves. "I'm going to take DADA and Potions, of course. Charms, History of Magic, and Ancient Runes. The twins introduced me to Bill the other night and I was impressed with some of the things he used runes for, as well as the time spell we used. It could come in handy to know. That's five. I can take up to seven, right?"
"That is correct. Although, the recommendation is six," Severus agreed.
"Well, the only classes left that might be useful are Transfiguration, Astronomy, and Herbology. What do you suggest?"
Severus considered. It was hard to do, since he was quiet inside and couldn't really anticipate the best material for future advantage at the moment. "I would recommend Transfiguration and Herbology." They were both included among the fundamentals of wizarding education. They would surely be the most useful. Possibly.
Shadow nodded, still looking thoughtful. They bought the books needed for those seven classes and a couple more that caught Shadow's eye. An hour and a half after entering the store, they left with a shrunken bag of thirteen books. For the following four hours, they traveled up and down the Alley acquiring the rest of the teen's school supplies.
Arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Severus parted from Shadow, who went upstairs to put his things in his trunk and conspire with the twins, most likely. The Potions Master made his rounds of the house, observing the Order members he came across and the Gryffindor students in residence. He wanted as much time as he could observing them since he knew his son was considering making them part of his own inner circle of trusted friends.
He came across many conversations, meaningful glances, whispered conversations, and arguments. In other words, it was a pretty normal night. Except for the undercurrent of tension due to the fact that tomorrow was the day he and his son were going to face the Ministry. It sparked much speculation in some and an interesting silence in others.
xXxXxXx
Friday early morning
Shadow was sitting at his desk, reading one of his new books. The house was quiet as it was only at three in the morning. The only light in the room was his desk lamp. He liked the dimness. It comforted him, wrapped him even more tightly in the illusion of being alone and at peace.
Two hands slid onto his pajama-clad shoulders and a grin split his face. He leaned back, tilting his head to show the vulnerable arch of his throat. His shirt disappeared, the warm hands pressed into his skin, making him gasp with pleasure. His head slowly fell forward, exposing his neck to the gentle ministrations.
Long fingers patiently rubbed the muscles loose. Shadow moaned softly. It felt divine.
Warm lips caressed his neck, behind his ear. A kiss was laid gently on his now curly hair, and those pale hands slid down his chest, pulling him back against the chair. Lower, lower, and Shadow squirmed, "Please… more…"
"Missed you so much," was moaned into his ear and then he was gasping and arching as that hand firmly took his member and squeezed.
Pleasure exploded behind his eyes and shot down his every nerve, making his legs spread and his arms fall limp. Hot, panting breaths brushed against his ear, and a smooth voice moaned, the vibrations making Shadow cry out softy, thrusting up with his hips till release flung him soaring over a cliff filled with bright fireworks…
Shadow flew out of bed, covered in sweat. Panting, wild-eyed, he stumbled into the farthest corner of the room and stood there, shaken and confused and angry. Twice! That was twice now that he had a… a… nightmare like that! Why was this happening to him? He thought he was more recovered from what Lockhart had done to him than this.
Why was he dreaming of being Kit again? Always in his dreams of the sicko he was screaming somewhere inside, no matter how much his body participated. But these last two… These last two he actually came in the real world and he felt completely like Kit had… Absorbed, excited, content with what was happening while that pervert molested him, touched him, raped him. And he'd never felt that way as himself, not even looking back on her memories. He could always feel his own disgust as well.
Shuddering, horrified, he shakily grabbed his wand and cast the strongest cleaning spell he knew. It hurt, burning his skin slightly and making it red with irritation, but he didn't care. It also made his clothes stiffen and become itchy. It wasn't enough. He banished his bedding to the laundry room, leaving a bare mattress.
He still felt unclean. Lockhart's face and voice and hands, they were burning in his memory, eating him from the inside out until he wanted to crawl away from his skin and escape the filth left behind.
He ran to the bathroom. He knew the water might wake his father, but he couldn't care right now. He had to wash the dream away, wash the memories away. It was over; it happened almost two years ago. Lockhart was as good as dead! He knew Severus had done something to the man. His father was too vengeful and careful not to have made sure Lockhart could never hurt him again.
"The man had been sick and perverted; a molester of innocent children. I was ill and that bastard took advantage of that, made me participate against my true will. It isn't my fault Lockhart was a freak. I've let it go; it's all behind me," he told himself while standing under the scalding water.
Shadow remembered vividly Neville facing the monster and ordering him to leave them alone. Lockhart looked so small, confused, and crushable then. And Neville did just that, using his Elemental ability to slam him to the floor. That was the Lockhart he forced himself to remember. The one broken and pathetic. He was nothing to be afraid of. Shadow wasn't going to let a piece of scum like him infect his mind and terrorize him any longer! He was stronger than that!
It was almost an hour before he stepped out of the shower and returned to his bedroom. The striped bed still sat there, but Shadow didn't flinch at the sight. He was steady again. In control. His thoughts were cool and calm. Shutting the door behind him softly, he considered going back to sleep, but it was almost six in the morning and breakfast would be soon. It didn't seem worth it.
Instead, he grabbed his Ancient Runes text book and sat on the bed, sitting cross-legged with his back to the wall for support. He had a big day ahead of him at the Ministry and it was probably a good idea to prepare himself mentally. So he settled himself in to read… carefully ignoring the desk across the room and keeping all the lights on.
Chapter end.
A/N: So… How did you like the chapter? It was nice and long, yeah? Anyway, let me know if you're still with me. Writing just wouldn't be as fun without getting a response. I don't deserve it, but I'd love to hear from you. Is there anything you would like to see in the future? Any particular scenes?