Chapter 10- A Word From The Duchess
Oh my goodness, I'm so very sorry for the super late update! I'm having some problems with Evernote right now. It keeps deleting my drafts- % #$*! Anyway, I'm now back in the writing groove, having fired Evernote and instead using another notes app.
Special thanks to Chellerbelle who gave me my 50th review!
'I'm so glad to see you again, dearie,' cooed Raven, as she tucked her arm through Jean's and whisked her away from the croquet crowd.
Jean was rather relieved to find her in such a good mood. She wondered if it could have been the pepper that had made Raven so angry back in her kitchen.
If I ever become a Duchess, I won't have any pepper in my kitchen at all. Maybe it's that that makes people hot-tempered. Hmm... Then perhaps sugar makes them sweet and vinegar makes them sour.
'You're thinking about something,' Raven whispered. 'That makes you forget to reply to me. I can't remember what the moral of that is, but I'm sure it'll all come back to me any moment now.'
'Perhaps it doesn't have a moral,' suggested Jean.
'Tut, tut. Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.'
As she spoke, she inched closer and closer to the uncomfortable Jean.
'And the moral of that is... Raven is creepy,' declared Bobby in a grandiose tone which earned a dark look from Mystique.
Jean didn't like it at all because it just felt... Odd. Who would want an ugly old woman cozying up to them after barely hours of acquaintance? Especially when the aforementioned Duchess had been hurling insults at Jean earlier.
Raven didn't seem to mind their proximity but Jean definitely did.
'The game's probably going well,' replied Jean in a wasted effort to keep the conversation going.
'Why, so it is,' murmured Raven in her oily voice. 'The moral of that is: 'Oh, 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round.''
Jean was shocked. Hadn't they had a similar discussion before? She remembered that, so she replied, 'Somebody once said that's done by everybody minding their own business.'
'Oh, it means the same thing,' said Raven airily. 'And the moral of that is- 'Take care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves."
How fond she is of finding morals in things, Jean observed, trying to make sense of Raven's last remark.
'I'm sure you're wondering why I don't put my arm around your waist,' cooed Raven.
"Because she'll hit you for being a creep?' suggested Wanda sarcastically.
'You see, the reason is that I'm not sure whether your flamingo is friendly or not. Shall I pet him and find out?'
'He might bite,' replied Jean in a somewhat hopeful tone. Anything to get rid of Raven.
'Very true,' agreed Raven. 'Mustard and flamingoes both bite. And the moral of that is, 'Birds of a feather flock together'.'
'Mustard isn't a bird,' Jean pointed out.
'Correct as usual.'
'I think mustard is a mineral.'
'Why, darling, of course it is!' Raven piped up, apparently eager to agree with everything Jean said. 'There's a large mustard mine somewhere around here. And the moral of that is, 'The more there is of mine, the less there is of yours'.'
'Oh, I got it!' exclaimed Jean, who hadn't been paying attention to Raven. 'Mustard is a vegetable! It doesn't look like one, but it is!'
'Eureka,' Rogue piped up dryly.
'Exactly!' cried Raven happily. 'The moral of that is, 'Be what you seem to be' or to put it more simply, 'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'
Hands up anyone whose brain started to flail like a spastic reindeer in an ice rink after reading that whole paragraph.
Everybody raised their hands.
Yeah, nice one there, Lewis Carroll.
'I think I should understand that if it were written down,' said a befuddled Jean. 'But I can't quite follow it as you say it.'
'It's nothing compared to what I could say if only I'd put my mind to it,' said Raven smugly.
Jean shuddered at the thought. 'For goodness' sake, please don't trouble yourself to say anything more than that.'
'Hear, hear!' shouted Bobby.
'BLASPHEMY!' roared Pyro, who was immediately blasted into the floor by a couple of exploding playing cards, a powerful laser beam, a nearly lethal hex bolt, a couple of Deadpool's grenades and a few ice missiles.
'No worries!' cried Raven joyfully, waving a hand in the air. 'I'll make you a present of everything I've said as of now!'
Mystique had her forehead buried in her palm in some kind of prolonged facepalm and the Acolytes were all doubled over in silent but hysterical laughter. Come to think of it, nearly everyone was.
'I'll never live this down,' groaned the blue shapeshifter with a twitching left eye.
A cheap sort of present, Jean thought. I'm glad people don't give presents like that. But she was careful to keep her thoughts to herself.
'Thinking again?' said Raven, digging her chin into poor Jean's shoulder.
I've a perfect right to think,' replied Jean curtly, as she was beginning to feel annoyed.
'Just about as much right,' replied Raven, 'as pigs have to fly, and the mor-'
To Jean's astonishment, Raven's voice died away, even in the middle of her favourite word, 'moral'. The arm linked to Jean's began to tremble. She looked up and there stood before them Anna, her arms folded over her chest, her face as dark as a thundercloud. Her scowl had achieved a level of indescribable scariness.
Dun dun dun dunnnnn...
Somewhere in the distance, thunder sounded.
'You simply asked Ororo to create some special effects, didn't you?' asked Logan dryly.
'You have two choices,' Anna said angrily. 'Either you or your head must be off. Preferably both.'
And Raven scurried off immediately.
'Come on!' Anna abruptly snapped. 'Let's continue with the game.'
And so they did. However, all through the rest of the match, the furious Anna kept screaming 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with her head!' The soldiers who formed the arches were forced to leave their positions to take the players into custody and soon, the only people remaining were Remy, Anna and Jean.
Any moment now, thought the nervous girl. The Queen will have me carted off for execution.
But luck was on her side, and that didn't happen. Eventually, Anna realised that the game had to end. 'Have you seen the Mock Turtle?' she cried to Jean.
'No. I don't even know what it is!'
'It's the creature used to make Mock Turtle Soup,' Anna explained.
'I have never heard of it.'
'Why, come on, then! I'll take you to him. He'll tell you the story of his life.'
As Anna pulled her away, she could faintly hear in the distance: 'Everyone is pardoned! Don't mind my darling wife, she's just a bit more grumpy than usual today!'
'Once again, Remy manages to annoy me with his mushiness,' growled Rogue, despite the slight grin that hinged upon her lips.
Now that's definitely a good thing, thought Jean, drawing in a deep breath and finally relaxing. She'd been unnerved by the large amount of executions Anna had ordered.
After they had walked for quite a while, they stumbled upon a Gryphon, sunning itself.
Sabretooth the Gryphon was a mythical creature-
'DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!' was Sabes' very enthusiastic reply.
It had the head, wings and claws of a eagle, along with the body and hind parts of a lion. Most people believed it also had the qualities of both eagles and lions- watchfulness and bravery.
'In Sabes' case, it's more like stupidity and lack of hygiene,' snarled Wolverine.
The two furballs- ahem, I mean, warriors- leapt at each other and attempted to rip each other apart.
Knock it off already! I have a story to run here!
Anna, however, didn't fit into the category of 'most people'.
'Get up, you lazy dork,' she barked. 'Take this young lady to the Mock Turtle. And make it snappy, or I'll have your head on my wall.'
'Being ordered around by a girl, Sabes?' growled Logan, and the two vengeful mutants were at it again.
'I must check on some of the executions I ordered.'
With that, Anna walked off, leaving Jean alone with Sabretooth.
Who here wants a bonus chapter?