Hearts Unsealed
By: pnaixrose
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura or any of its characters. They all belong to CLAMP.
Summary: Because of that dark, fateful day nine years ago, he had been forced to give up the only thing that had ever made him happy, to resign himself to the guilt of not being able to protect her, to look into dull, distant emerald eyes and know that he had been forgotten forever and would never be remembered. As for her, she has been living with gaps in her memory – in her heart – that have just been waiting to be filled. And with trouble arising with the Cards, a string of circumstances might actually lead her to finally find what she's been missing.
(Note: Continuation of the anime if Void had been able to take what was precious to Sakura's heart)
Chapter 10: Unbalanced
As Tomoyo put the pieces together in her head, it was all so ironically romantic. And bittersweet. All this time…even though Sakura's memories of Syaoran had been erased…even though she hadn't seen him in nine long years…from the beginning of those nine years, Sakura had still held onto her love for him. It was a sweet, romantic twist of events…but it only brought more complications.
After all, what will Void be planning now?
This was the exact question that played silently in everyone's minds as they sat in the sitting room in silence, turning the recent information over in their heads. Eriol cleared his throat as he continued with his explanation.
"So from the very beginning, Void was unable to fully seal Sakura's feelings away, creating an imbalance. For some reason or another, Sakura didn't uphold her end of the bargain for Void's capture," the man reiterated for the sake of clarification. "Because of this imbalance, Void has been trying to find other ways and other things to take from her."
"The Cards," Kero said with a sigh. "That's why they were weakening all this time…that's why they've been turning against her against their own wills and then being taken."
"Is this imbalance truly that important that Void needs to adjust it?" Touya asked. "That Void needs to take the Cards themselves to restore it?"
"Yeah," Meiling said, agreeing with the older Kinomoto for the first time. Her arms were crossed in front of her. "Isn't that somewhat of a stretch? To take all of them away from her?"
"Well," Tomoyo said quietly, "it is the price of love after all…maybe even all the Cards combined aren't enough to restore that imbalance…"
"You're talking about the most magical objects in the world, Tomoyo!" Kero said incredulously.
But the girl only gave a small smile. "I know. Which is only a testament to how much Sakura loved him," she said. She paused. "Loves him, rather."
An uneasy silence settled upon them as they took in her words. Again…so bittersweet.
"So what now?" Yukito asked. "We certainly can't allow Void to take all the Cards from her. Not only will she be devastated but I'm sure it's dangerous to have the Cards without a master. And who knows what Void will be doing with them."
"Now, we should be taking Sakura away from this place," Touya answered stubbornly before anyone else can offer a suggestion. "We can't have her here with the Li brat so close. It'll only speed up Void's mission in taking all the Cards, don't you see?"
"But the point is, if your pigheaded brain wasn't listening," Meiling said in a huff, "that this has been happening from the beginning. Whether or not she's around Syaoran, it will happen. It doesn't seem to be something she can avoid by running to a place where he is not around."
"Well, why speed things up then?" the brother retorted in exasperation. "You are all stupid to allow Sakura's feelings to deepen even more by having her here! What good will it do in the end anyway?"
"She's becoming more of herself here, Kinomoto-kun," Tomoyo said quietly. "She's happier…isn't so focused about her past…doesn't get into as many arguments with us…Maybe it was wrong of us to restrain her. Maybe she needs this."
"Regardless, the end result will be the same," he stated. "The Cards will turn on her, possibly hurt her. And she won't be allowed to be with the brat one way or another." Not if he had anything to do about it at least.
"Kinomoto-kun, please try to understand," Eriol insisted. "She's been safer here. You don't understand the amount of help she's had from Li-kun, the amount of times he's saved her-"
"In the end, he'll hurt her. And that's that," he said with finality. He stood from his seat, impatient and fed up with the conversation. He was Sakura's older brother after all, and after watching everything she's been through, he knew what was best for her. "We're leaving first thing in the morning. Whether or not Sakura is compliant."
And with that, he stalked out of the room without another word. Yukito made a move to go and follow him, but Tomoyo placed a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe he just needs some time to think…"
"By the way, Hiiragazawa," Meiling said quietly. "You haven't answered one thing…Why is Syaoran being targeted?"
Eriol sighed, momentarily taking off his glasses and polishing them with the hem of his shirt. He paused and rubbed his eye before placing his glasses back on the bridge of his noise. He suddenly looked ten years older in his stress. "I'm not sure…"
He didn't want to tell them what he had thus far conjectured about that particular aspect of the situation. He had been hoping that his guess was wrong, that maybe Syaoran was just in the wrong place in the wrong time and that it was just coincidence that Void had targeted him. After all, other than having Time and Return target him, Void doesn't seem to have any particular interest in him.
He watched as Meiling gave him a worried look and nod distractedly to him, accepting his uncertainty. Eriol hoped that nothing more would happen to Syaoran. If Syaoran became more of an interest to Void, Eriol would have no choice but to start to really consider his speculation that Void intended to take away the Li leader himself as part of the price of its capture.
And Eriol had no idea how to tell Syaoran's dear cousin and his friends this. Much more, Eriol had no idea how it would affect Sakura…but he imagined that it wouldn't be something she'd be willing to accept.
This was a dream. It was impossible that any of this could be real.
Syaoran's entire body felt light as he watched her near her lips to his. It was still taking him quite some time to process everything that she had said. He kept trying to find something else to explain them all, to explain why she was acting this way…to explain why Kinomoto Sakura was inching closer and closer to his lips with her delicate, soft hands caressing his face.
But soon his heart overrode his mind and his scrambling for answers stilled. After all, how long has he been yearning for this? How long has he wondered how it would feel for Sakura to return his feelings, how it would feel to have her soft lips against his? His eyelids became heavy as his body became highly expectant of what was to come, to finally express his love for her. What he would give to finally admit the feelings he's had for her all this time, to kiss her again and again, to hold her unrestrained.
This was what he's wanted for so long.
And that's the exact thought that stopped him. After all, when did he ever get what he wanted? Why was this time so much different? He couldn't do this. In the end, this would hurt her. He didn't know how this would end up hurting her, but he knew that he couldn't allow this. Even if it was the one thing he wanted all this time.
He had subjected himself to a life without her love. Her love for him had been the one thing that allowed for the capture of Void after all. And if he so selfishly indulged himself in this…if he took advantage of the situation that had somehow played out in the past couple of weeks she had stepped back into his life…he knew that something horrible would happen.
And without another wasted second on hope, a flurry of different reasons why this shouldn't be happening came to mind. His eyes fluttered open and his hands grabbed her arms to pry her gentle hands off of his cheeks. "Stop," came his pitiful plea through a raspy voice. "Please, stop."
Sakura pulled away, recoiling from him and feeling as if she had been slapped. She noted the look of desire that disappeared quickly from the depths of his eyes before being replaced with shame and ache. Her body felt cold as he refused her, holding her wrists firmly and keeping her safely away from him so that she wouldn't continue. "L-Li-kun…"
"I-I don't know what it is you're feeling, Kinomoto," he said, his voice low and full of a melancholy that Sakura couldn't describe. "But it can't be for me. I know that for a fact. It's impossible."
Heat rose to her cheeks. She felt utterly embarrassed and livid. Here she was trying to be honest with her feelings, acting on them while knowing that they felt absolutely right. She had never acted this way before, had never felt this way for anyone before. And here he was…rejecting her?
She felt completely stupid. Like one of those lovesick teenagers in the movies that she had never understood, had never been able to relate to.
Except till now.
"It's hard to explain but there are a million and one reasons why this can't happen," he insisted, his eyes pleading. So please, don't tempt me, he wanted to add.
"Oh really? Reasons why this can't happen? Or excuses that you're trying to find in order to not allow this to happen?" she asked bitterly. She was being irrational, she knew. But she didn't care. She was just so angry that he didn't feel the same, didn't want to even try.
Syaoran gave her an incredulous looks. Did this girl think that he had wanted to stop things from heading to where they were headed a few minutes ago? She was just testing his reserve now. "Reasons," he stated. His grip on his wrists tightened slightly, almost desperately and he looked at her accusingly. "From the very beginning, I said I didn't want to have any sort of complication arise between you and your fiancé, Kinomoto. I think that this would…surely complicate things…" This was just one of the many reasons he had implied, however this was the easiest to explain to her. His voice had become dashed with frustration and hurt. "I take it that you haven't forgotten that you'll be married in a few months' time, Kinomoto. So please…think about your soon-to-be husband…" Before you start playing with my heart…before I start doing what I shouldn't do, thinking things I shouldn't be thinking.
Emerald eyes widened as the words sunk in. To be honest, she had forgotten. She had forgotten all about Shimizu Keiji, had forgotten about the ring on her finger, had forgotten all the plans that Keiji had begun to make. She had forgotten why she was in China in the first place. And after all these weeks, even after making a conscious effort to be a better fiancé for him, she had still failed. She had still been selfish. And here she was, about to kiss another man.
"You better listen to him, Sakura," came biting words. Their heads whipped towards the voice and both felt their hearts stop beating as they realized that they hadn't been alone. Behind some shrubbery came a livid-looking Touya, hands balled into fists. Immediately, Syaoran let go of her arms and took several steps away from her.
"O-Onii-chan," Sakura said quietly, "How long have you-"
"Long enough," came the short reply. He ignored the Chinese man beside her and walked towards her, his temper flared to its peak. He grabbed her arm roughly and began to drag her away much to her dislike. She fought against his hold until she finally released herself. Her brother turned to her, a caustic and threatening look on his face. "Sakura, don't fight with me. We're leaving now!" he said through gritted teeth. He had been willing to wait until the next morning. But after running into them like this…
"No, onii-chan!" she replied angrily. They both seemed to forget that the Li leader was just a few steps away, able to hear everything. "You can't treat me like this anymore!"
"And you can't act like this anymore!" he retorted. "All you've wanted to do all these years is get yourself into trouble! Despite my and otou-san's pleading, you think you can do whatever the hell you please! Look at yourself now, Sakura! You have a fiancé! You think it's okay to act this way? Don't you feel ashamed in the least bit?"
"I-I…"
The words were too harsh for Syaoran's liking. His eyes narrowed, he took a step towards them and opened his mouth to speak.
"You, stay quiet," Touya snapped, glancing at him momentarily. He turned back to his sister who was still silent yet looking up at him in distaste with tears of frustration threatening to spill from her eyes. "First you get engaged right after graduation without warning. Then when me and otou-san grudgingly give you our blessing, because you oh so 'loved' Shimizu so much as you had insisted, you go off into China with him. And as you do so, you promise us that you would never come to Hong Kong, and yet here you are!" he shouted, his voice piercing the dim sky. "Tell me, Sakura, just who's heart are you actually aiming for? Shimizu's, whom you've insisted that you've loved all these past years?" Touya pointed an angry finger at the man behind her. "Or this man, whom you're so willing to throw your entire marriage – which by the way, has not yet even begun – away for!"
And just as he shouted the last word, before either Sakura or Syaoran could make a move or even speak, something unexpected happened.
A wave of an aura flashed through them as a Card emerged from Sakura's pocket. Almost immediately, a beam of energy headed its way for a certain amber eyed man. She let out a yelp of fright before she could help herself and was relieved to see that he had evaded, agilely flipping backwards. Touya had finally shut up, confused and shocked at what was currently happening. And Sakura promptly forgot about their fight as her thoughts filled with worry for Li Syaoran.
"Shot! Stop!" she pleaded, catching sight of the familiar Card.
A beam of pink energy paid no heed as it continued to pelt magic at Syaoran who had begun to run as soon as the first beam had been shot at him. He ran further away from them, not wanting either Kinomoto to get caught in the crossfire, and soon Sakura's shouts of worry had disappeared altogether.
Luckily, he knew his own garden well even in the evening darkness and was able to use the trees and shrubs to his advantage. But soon, Shot had followed him into a clearing, and although Syaoran still was evading, he could tell that the Card's accuracy was increasing quickly.
His eyes were searching for a way to go, his brain trying to think of the best route to try to evade Shot. He wouldn't last much longer now though. The longer this kept up, the more tired he would get and the more accurate Shot's magic will be.
And just as the thought passed, a fiery burn went through his right leg as a beam of magic skimmed the surface of his skin. Syaoran yelped, and although he attempted to keep running, he was greatly slowed. He panted as he ran while limping, trying to ignore the sting.
Shot seemed to precipitate his move as Syaoran made a sharp left. He felt a hot, sharp pain run through his left shoulder as Shot finally made full contact which its target. Syaoran howled as his right hand found its way over his left shoulder, trying to stop the bleeding. The full on beam against the back of his deltoid made the pain to his leg feel like nothing.
He attempted to keep running, knowing that his body was giving out quickly. The best he could wish for was that Shot would finally get taken away by Void. But by the way things seemed to be going, it didn't seem like it would be anytime soon.
And suddenly, Sakura emerged from the shrubbery to the right, her pink wand in hand. Syaoran eyes widened as she stubbornly came into between him and Shot. "What the hell are you doing-"
"Shield!"
Before any magic could strike either her or Syaoran, a transparent shield covered them. As Shot continued to shoot at them, attempting to do so from different angles, Sakura turned worriedly to Syaoran who had found himself panting, kneeling on the ground as soon as she utilized Shield.
"Li-kun, are you-"
"What the hell, Kinomoto!" he yelled in fury. "Why did you come? You're going to get hurt!"
Sakura kneeled down and assessed his leg and his shoulder. The blood from the shoulder was coming fast and she returned his anger. "What about you! You're hurt already!" she screamed, her voice weak. Tears sprung to her eyes as her worry grew. She ripped the bottom of her t-shirt to hold against his shoulder. He winced as it came in contact.
"Y-You have to get out of here," he managed. "You're not being targeted so you have to get away. Shield won't last for long. Shot's endurance is too great."
"I'm not leaving you here," she insisted stubbornly.
Syaoran sighed, his patience running thin. From the corner of his eye, he spotted the others watching a few yards away, Yue using his magic to cover the others in case any of the shots ricocheted. Eriol was standing with his own shield, a little closer, his golden staff in hand.
"Sakura-san, Li-kun!" Eriol called over the sounds of the magic hitting against Shield. "Shield won't hold up any more!" And as he said, Shield's protection seemed to be waning with every shot delivered to it.
Syaoran clutched onto Sakura's arm with his free hand as he looked at her square in the eyes. "Look, Kinomoto," he said sternly. "You run the opposite direction from me and swing back around till you get behind Shot. I'll lure him away and then towards you while you-"
"-use Mirror…" she finished, her voice far away. She had somehow found herself in a daze as she listened to the first half of his plan. A flashback replayed in her mind. Some fake Cards. Being on top of the elementary school roof. Shot targeting a young, brown haired boy. Using Mirror.
Why…did this all seem so familiar…?
"Kinomoto!" he urged, taking her out of her stupor. He glanced at Shield and noted that they had no more time to waste. "Now! Go that way!"
And at once, Shield disappeared altogether. Syaoran pushed her away and she began to run as he directed, forcing the brief flashback to the back of her thoughts. She circled around behind Shot as Syaoran ran the opposite direction.
"Mirror!" She stopped in her tracks, a large circular mirror in her hands. "Li-kun! Now!" She watched as Syaoran circled back towards her, luring Shot who was closing in behind him while somehow managing to dodge its attacks.
He panted as he ran, ignoring the pain in his shoulder and leg. Syaoran could see Sakura and Mirror just a couple of yards away. It wasn't long before Shot would encounter Mirror and-
But it was then that yet another thrill of pain ran through his entire body. A familiar feeling of pain that was a thousand times worse than Shot's attack. Syaoran screamed, his voice piercing the dark night as he stopped in his tracks, falling to the ground with a heavy thud. Both his hands clutching onto the front of his shirt in pure agony, his body writhed in the grass, suddenly forgetful of the pain in his shoulder. He felt Void's aura run through him, enflaming every nerve in his body.
Sakura looked on at the man not too far from her with sudden shock, watching as his clutched desperately onto his chest and laid helplessly on the floor. Mirror disappeared from her hands and her legs started to bring her towards him without thinking.
Luckily, Shot had stopped, momentarily assessing Syaoran and the situation. With what little alertness Syaoran had through the piercing agony radiated throughout his body, he noted that Sakura was running towards him, trying to help him. "No, Kinomoto!" he yelled frantically, the pain from within his body still ripping him to shreds.
She paid no heed and was just a couple feet away when Void's power finally started to weaken. It seemed as if Shot made up its mind to begin attacking again at that moment. But as it released several more beams of magic, Sakura skidded to a halt right in front of Syaoran, closing her emerald eyes and holding her arms wide open, ready to take the brunt of the attacks.
"NO!"
And with a flurry of limbs and bodies, Sakura found herself being roughly knocked to the ground, the air in her lungs being knocked out. After a second of gathering her senses, she realized that a heavy body was lying on top of hers and her emerald eyes widened. Dread filled her as she suddenly became scared that his back was now riddled with fatal holes and blood while trying to protect her.
"Li-kun!" She sat up in a hurry, assessing him quickly. Sakura felt her throat grow dry as she spotted two new pools of blood seeping through the lower back of his shirt. Arms clutched to his body as she grew even more frantic.
It was then that she noticed that a force field was surrounding them. Sakura looked behind her and saw that Eriol was standing directly behind her, his staff glowing an eerie red as he protected them.
"Sakura-san," he said quickly, also noting Syaoran's new wound. Luckily Eriol had managed to get there before even more had found its way into his back. But still, Syaoran's current wounds looked bad. "Are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine," she managed. "B-But Li-kun!"
A groan was heard from said Li who slowly picked himself off of Sakura. His body weak and barely able to move, he looked around himself as the force field vanished. Panting, he closed his eyes in frustration and fatigue. "Shot was-"
"-Taken," Eriol confirmed quickly, his worry growing upon seeing Syaoran's paling face. "Don't move. You'll make it worse."
And indeed Void's aura had disappeared, leaving no trace of the Shot Card. The others hurriedly came towards them and Eriol helped Syaoran up while trying to avoid his wounds by allowing the man to lean against him. Syaoran was quickly weakening and barely able to stand straight by himself.
"We should get Li-kun to a hospital," Tomoyo insisted hurriedly, eyeing his wounds with a worried frown. He had lost quite a bit of blood from all the wounds. Meiling was pale as she went up to her cousin, trying to stop his bleeding with her own bare hands.
"And tell them what?" Kero asked anxiously, "That he was shot at with no such bullet found?"
"We'll treat to him here," Yukito said hurriedly, having changed back to his false form. He motioned Touya to take Syaoran's other arm which Touya promptly did without question. "Let's bring him inside."
Touya and Meiling helped hold down a flinching, writhing Syaoran as he lay half naked on his stomach. His bed sheets were drenched with his sweat as his bit onto a rag, muffling his screams of pain as Yukito cleaned the wounds, while trying to apply pressure to stop the bleeding. Luckily there were no foreign bodies to try to pry out of his flesh.
Eriol hadn't allowed Sakura to enter, so he, Sakura, and Tomoyo were waiting anxiously in the hall, watching as Wei and the other maids and butlers frantically filed in and out of the room to help Yukito, give supplies, and replace the blood soaked bowls of water with clean water. They had called the personal Li clan doctor who was on her way and would be here any minute.
Sakura was being held by a comforting Tomoyo, her face streaked with dried tears. She let Syaoran's muffled screams intensify her guilt as she stood there stiffly. She had been quiet ever since they had gotten inside the house.
"It's my fault," she said, voice cracking.
"No," her best friend insisted sternly. "It's Void's fault. Do you hear me? Don't you dare place the blame on yourself."
But she was silent as she looked at the bedroom door in front of her, feeling numb with worry and guilt. Once again, her savior had protected her while she did nothing but put him in danger. She felt as if she was in a daze as she remembered the chilling scene of seeing a bleeding Syaoran lying on top of her, protecting her from having such a fate herself. Sakura had mentioned it to him before, but she was convinced now. She brought nothing but trouble to him. And although she had come to him requesting help which he had ended up giving to her, she did him no favors except put him in danger and put him in awkward situations.
Tears sprung to her reddened eyes once again. Tomoyo aptly noted them and nudged a strangely quiet Eriol. "Hiiragazawa-kun," she whispered to him pleadingly, "help me convince her that everything's going to be okay…"
He didn't answer. He didn't even turn her way. He hadn't even heard her. His azure eyes were set straight down, boring into the floor as his mind was whirling in deep thought. Eriol couldn't understand what he had witnessed not too long ago out of his mind. Syaoran had been running – albeit wounded – just fine towards Mirror when the Li leader had suddenly collapsed in a heap of what seemed like unbearable pain in front of everyone's eyes. What exactly had that been?
Eriol attempted to remember if he had noticed anything particularly strange that was happening at that moment. Void's aura had been prominent, but it had been so during the entire attack. He didn't know whether or not to relate Syaoran's sudden episode to Void.
"Hiirazawa-kun?" Tomoyo called softly, her voice worried.
He seemed to snap out of his reverie, hearing her concern. Tomoyo did not need to worry about another friend of hers when Syaoran and Sakura had already experienced so much in just one night. Eriol calmly looked to her, trying to place a reassuring smile on his lips. "I'm sorry," he said. "You're right, Daidouji-san. Of course Li-kun is going to be fine."
"Not if I stay here a moment longer," Sakura mumbled.
"What are you saying, Sakura-chan?"
She looked at them pointedly, a bit sadly. "He's gone through too much just because I'm here. I can't keep being a burden to him. He has his own life and his own problems to attend to after all."
Tomoyo looked at her forlornly. "I'm sure he doesn't feel that way-"
"But he should. Look what I've done to him! I've put him in critical condition! He already has so much to worry about, with his heart and all. And here I am subjecting him to pushing his body to its limits when he doesn't need to."
Her two friends stopped at that, suddenly confused. "What do you mean…his heart…?" Eriol asked slowly.
Sakura turned to him quizzically. "His heart condition," she explained. "He's been having medical issues with his heart. I thought you being his cousin, you would have known, Eriol-kun? It seems to have been affecting him for a long time, after all."
Eriol and Tomoyo glanced at each other. "Of course," he answered smoothly. "How could I have forgotten."
"You still don't need to leave this place. You've done nothing wrong, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo insisted after an awkward silence had passed. "And…you've been doing so well…You've been happy."
She had been happy here. And Sakura was sure now that she could attribute that happiness to the Li leader's presence. But the painful memory of what had happened just moments before Shot had activated rehashed itself and Sakura felt even number than before. Sure Li Syaoran had somehow become an essential person to her. Someone whom she cared about. Someone for whom she was finally starting to understand her own feelings.
But he didn't feel the same. Didn't even want to try. And he had every reason to be acting that way, she guessed. It was her own fault. There were reasons why they shouldn't be together, as he had so pointedly reminded her. Reasons that might make her newfound feelings for Li Syaoran a little too inappropriate, reasons that made her feelings a little bit too late.
And she knew that if she stayed a moment longer, not only would he possibly get into even more physical danger…
…her own heart might be put into danger as well.
He had woken up with a start, panting for air. The recent past had been a haze and he wasn't sure how much time had passed exactly. Judging by the way he was still wearing the same clothes and lying on his abdomen with gauze and bandages lying on his wounded back, not too much time had passed. He mildly noted that it was dark outside, before the ache from his wounds seemed to fully wake him.
Even being wounded hadn't stopped Void from visiting. He hadn't rested well, had nightmares of hearing her screams and seeing her get hurt by her own Cards, had other nightmares that replayed that night at the clock tower. Once in a while, he had been woken by episodes of a familiar pain, causing him to writhe excruciatingly and possibly exacerbate his wounds even more. Void had continued to linger with him.
He was insanely tired, but he tried to pick himself up, his throat dry, calling for water. But even just moving his arms seemed to be a painful challenge.
"Don't move," a male voice called, surprising him. He had thought he was alone. "You'll make it worse."
He squinted into the darkness and was able to make out the figure of a tall man leaning against the closed door.
"Water…" he called out, his voice sounding raspy and foreign.
Touya went to sit in the seat stationed next to the Li leader's bed and promptly grabbed the ready glass of water on the nightstand, handing it to him. Syaoran gulped it down thirstily and the older man took it back.
"Why…?"
"I wanted to talk to you. I've been waiting for an entire day for you to restore some kind of consciousness."
He's been lying here for a day? Syaoran could have sworn that only a few hours had passed. The wounds on his back were still burning almost as much as they had been the moments he had gotten them. The pain medication might wearing off.
"You're lucky, you know," Touya continued quietly, taking a nearby seat that was situated next to his bed. It seemed like people had been using that chair to intermittently take watch over him. Syaoran wondered if a certain emerald eyed girl had sat there too. "The doctor said that they weren't too deep and that since there were no actual bullets or any foreign bodies involved, there was less chance of infection. The ones to your lower back just nearly missed an important nerve from your spine. You could've been paralyzed. But the doctor said you'd be fine if you rested and took the medication she gave you."
Syaoran knew that this explanation wasn't the reason why Touya was sitting here with him in the middle of the night. "What do you want?"
A brief pause. "I'm…sorry," he offered, exhaling a breath. "I know that you're not to blame for what happened all those years. I just needed someone to let out my anger on."
Syaoran felt the remnants of Touya's said anger on his bruised face, but it no longer compared to the Shot Card's attacks. "It's fine," he replied, accepting the apology but brushing it off. "I understand."
Another slight pause. "And also…thank you," Touya said. He had been like another person throughout this entire conversation. "For protecting her. I understand why everyone says they trust you now." Words couldn't describe the fright that had swallowed him whole when he watched his little sister so recklessly put herself in between Shot and Syaoran. "I…trust you too."
And he did. Because not only did this man physically save his sister's life, but he refused her affections, knowing that she was taken by another man and knowing that it wasn't permissible, not in the situation that they had somehow got stuck in. And this man had done all this…even when he so obviously loved her still.
Before Syaoran could speak – not that he knew what to say – Touya had risen from the seat and was already headed towards the door. He had said what he needed to say. Placing a hand on the doorknob, Touya turned to the man lying on the bed one last time.
"Don't place too much blame on yourself, kid," he said quietly, referring to the moment when all of this had begun. "It wasn't your fault."
And then he was gone.
Two days later, in the early morning, Eriol felt himself stir awake by the sun filtering in from the windows. He realized quickly that he wasn't on the on the guest bed that he had temporarily made his own in the past several weeks. He was lying on something much less comfy. And more importantly, there was a strange, petite weight lying against his chest that somehow made up for his aching back.
He opened his eyes to blurrily note that Tomoyo was in his arms as they lay on the couch. Eriol absentmindedly remembered that they had been working on the Li ball planning until late last night, intent on getting back on track after being distracted from it by the last several days. A small smile had sprung to his face as he listened to her even breathing. The only thing that could make this even more perfect was if he had his glasses on to clearly see her. Apparently he had taken it off and had placed it on the table on which their notes and pictures were sitting. He attempted to reach for them, making an effort not to wake her.
Of course, his slight movement stirred her and she blinked tiredly as she stretched. She looked up, clearly confused where she was at the moment.
He looked sheepishly at her as amethyst eyes widened. "E-Eriol-kun!"
She suddenly clamped her mouth shut embarrassedly as she realized that she had uttered his first name. Her cheeks uncharacteristically growing red, she attempted to pull away and sit up but he gently eased her back to her original position so she would stay lying against his chest.
A wide grin was on his lips now as his eyes shone. "Don't try to leave now," he teased. "Say that again?" he asked, his voice still husky from just recently waking.
She smiled, her cheeks still flaming. Tomoyo shook her head slightly at his jest, several locks of hair falling from its misshapen bun. "Eriol-kun," she said softly.
He continued to tease her, feigning a momentary pondering look, as if he was considering something greatly. "I think I like it," he said finally, "…Tomoyo-san."
They regarded each other in silence, both with smiles on their faces. Their hearts were swelling, threatening to explode as their eyes bore into each other's. Tomoyo sighed as she voluntarily lay her head down against his chest, the thought of moving away from him promptly disappearing. Why on earth would she want to after all when she felt utterly at peace with the man whom she had finally become on first name basis with? She could feel the elation spreading through her body down to her toes as she replayed the way his tongue had curled naturally into her first name.
And then, she felt his body stiffen. Knowing that he was noticing something with his magic, she slightly helped herself off of him and watched as his eyes scanned the entrance to the sitting room. Soon, shuffling of feet was heard and a weak figure appeared before them.
"Li-kun," Tomoyo breathed worriedly. He was standing in front of them, still shirtless with clean bandages and gauze lying against his back, but wearing a different pair of pants now. He looked better but still extremely weakened and pale. She immediately stood, eager to go to him and help him. "Are you okay? Did you need something?" she asked as she latched onto his arm to support him.
Syaoran either did not notice or did not bother to inquire about the questionable position she and Eriol were in. "I'm fine," he insisted. "Just needed to move around."
"Should you be moving around yet?" Eriol asked, going towards him. "We don't want your wounds reopened. It's amazing you can even get out of bed."
Syaoran shrugged the comment away. After all, he was a warrior with a warrior's body, which seemed to rehabilitate itself as much. All these years since childhood, he had gone through training with the most mastered martial artists and most skilled magic-wielders. He had gotten physically hurt plenty of times and had the scars to prove it. He had been itching to finally move around, tired of simply lying in bed in pain.
Besides…there was someone he needed – wanted – to see…
"Where is…" he paused. "…everyone?"
"Kinomoto-kun and Tsukishiro-san got on a plane back home yesterday morning," Tomoyo informed. Touya had said something along the lines that he knew that Sakura was in good hands, that they needed to go back to their father and take care of him, reassure him that Sakura was doing fine. However, Tomoyo knew that Sakura hadn't spoken to him since the incident with Shot occurred and neither had Touya tried to talk to her. Tomoyo guessed that part of the reason why they left was because Touya felt unwanted and unneeded. He probably wanted to give Sakura time and space. At least he hadn't tried to take her with him as he originally planned.
"Meiling-san's at work," Eriol added quietly. But he knew that Syaoran was probably wondering about someone in particular. "And Sakura-san is…" He glanced at Tomoyo.
Syaoran noted the look in their eyes. And suddenly realization dawned upon him. Without another word, he turned on his heel, hobbling down the hallway with a set destination in mind. His thoughts were whirling, suddenly frantic and anxious.
He could hear his friends following close behind, trying to get him to stop, insisting that he shouldn't be moving around so much. But he promptly ignored them.
His hand wrapped around her doorknob, forcing it open without even knocking. Syaoran barged in, scanning the area for her petite frame. But the room was empty, restored to how it looked before she had taken shelter in it. Her luggage with all her clothes was gone. Her trinkets and supplies on the table had disappeared.
The only thing that she seemed to leave behind was a tiny stuffed bear look-a-like who was rudely awakened from his slumber on the large bed. It looked vastly empty without Kero's mistress around.
"K-Kid," Kero said, surprised at his appearance. "Shouldn't you be-"
"Sakura," he said. Syaoran noticed that he hadn't said her first name out loud in quite a while. He had missed it. "Where-"
"…She's gone," Eriol said quietly as he and Tomoyo crowded the room behind him. "She left last night."
But of course, Syaoran had already known that. He had known before he had placed his hand of the doorknob, before he had stalked all the way down here.
An unreadable expression riddled his face. "Where?" he croaked. But this too, he already knew.
There was a tension-filled silence which only confirmed it.
Sakura had left. Had gone back to Shimizu Keiji.
More silence filled the air as he breathed heavily, trying to take it all in, trying to hide his disappointment, his anger. Of course she would leave, go back to her fiancé. His thoughts led him back to just moments before Shot had appeared. She had probably realized how idiotic she was being, how much of a mistake she had almost made. She had probably rightfully listened to her brother. She had probably thrown aside everything she said she was feeling towards Syaoran as nothing important, had probably felt insanely embarrassed that she had wanted to kiss him in the first place.
Syaoran cursed at himself. That had probably been the only time he would have ever felt those lips against his. And he had stopped it. He had reminded her of just whom she should be doing that with. He had wanted this.
He had asked for this.
"Oh," he said lamely, his voice short. He remembered that eyes were watching him carefully and he forced his throat clear. "Good."
And with that, they watched as he stalked out of the room, banging the door shut behind him.
Sakura sat up in bed, absentmindedly flipping through the television channels. Only a few days had passed since she had decided to leave the Li household. As soon as she had stepped foot back into the hotel room, she realized how out of place she felt. And although Keiji was all too happy to have her back, she would be lying if she said she felt the same. But she pulled through for him and forced herself to smile.
Her thoughts kept bringing her back to Li Syaoran, wondering if he was alright, if he was recovering well. She had managed to hear from Keiji that the Li C.E.O. hadn't been back to work since that day with the Shot Card and her concern had only been growing since. Sakura hadn't allowed herself to see him one last time, hadn't allowed herself to even say thank you or goodbye. She knew that she was bad luck to him, that he would probably be happy to see the person who had been causing him trouble all this time go.
And besides…she was scared that she'd lose her willpower to leave if she saw him again.
Keiji wasn't lying when he said he was never home. It was nearing ten at night now and he had left early this morning. She literally hadn't caught sight of him all day. This was a similar occurrence every day since she'd been back and she had noticed that even when he was home, he'd always be on his phone either on a business call or texting away furiously. She felt absolutely trapped and alone in this place.
Speaking of, she heard the door open and almost jumped. She watched as he entered, tired from a long day at his internship. He looked over to her tiredly and gave her a smile. "I'm back."
"Welcome back," she greeted, feeling sorry that he seemed to have a hard day. "Everything okay?"
He simply gave a shrug as he dropped his briefcase haphazardly. Sighing, he plopped down next to her on the bed, thankful that he was able to finally rest. It has been a hectic time period at the company with not only the Li ball coming up but also several financial deadlines. The interns were given many of the easy things to deal with, however they were tedious and required much time. Not to mention, he still had projects he had to make sure were keeping with schedule. "Just fine," he answered. He looked to her, grinning. "Just happy that I get to come home to you again, Sakura-san."
She gave a laugh, looking down at him from her seated position. "Oh, don't be silly, Keiji-kun. I'm glad to finally see you! You're always gone."
He hesitated before giving her a lopsided grin. "Work beckons."
"Yeah, but you have to make sure you relax, too, you know," she said worriedly, noting the bags under his eyes.
His smile softened, seeing her concerned emerald gaze. Feeling revitalized, he slowly picked himself up so that he was eye level with her. Gently, he brushed a strand of stray auburn hair away from her face, his fingers grazing against her cheek. "Thanks, Sakura-san…you don't know how much that means to me…to know that you're concerned."
"Of course I'm-"
However, she didn't get to finish her train of thought as he brought his lips over hers, kissing her softly. Sakura's throat tightened and suddenly she felt stifled, just as she's felt so many times before. Keiji continued to deepen the kiss and she forced her lids shut, trying to get caught up in the moment, trying to feel as if she was flying. She kissed back, trying to be just as fervent as he, trying to prove to herself that she did love the man she was about to marry.
It must've worked…at least it must've seemed believable. Because soon, Keiji began leaving hot kisses on her neck, began roaming his hands throughout her body. She stiffened all the more, feeling some sort of anxiety creep up inside her, but she dutifully ignored it. This was normal. This was what people did when they were in love.
Suddenly, she let out a yelp of surprise as Keiji had pinned her against the soft bed, his weight on top of her. The anxiety was quickly rising and she struggled to keep her breathing steady. He must've thought of it as signs of pleasure because he continued. Sakura had been in this position before with him. And all those times before, she had stopped him. But maybe…maybe she shouldn't this time. Maybe she only thought it felt wrong. Maybe this was how it's supposed to feel.
He continued to kiss her, prying her teeth open to play with her tongue with his. Sakura felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as his hands began to wander to her hips, settling on the edge of her sweatpants. She didn't want to let Keiji down. She didn't want all the others who have been insinuating that she didn't love Keiji to be right. She willed her heart to stop trying to beat out of her chest in protest.
And it was then that the memory of Li Syaoran's breath tingling her nose as she neared his handsome face came to mind. She remembered that strange look of angst, happiness, and something that seemed like desire flashing in his amber eyes. She remembered the way his muscles felt under her hands as he had tightened his jaw, anticipating her lips. The scent of him seemed to overwhelm her even though he was nowhere near. And just the memory of that almost kiss, although it hadn't ended up where she had been hoping, even despite all the events that had happened afterward…just the mere memory of him sent a pleasant thrill down her spine.
That was how it was supposed to feel.
This…with Keiji…felt so wrong. So forced.
"S-Stop."
Keiji paused accordingly, flushed and aroused, as he looked up at her from kissing a particular place on her neck. "W-What's wrong? Are you okay?"
No. No she wasn't. "I-I-" she said as her body started to shake. She couldn't find the words to explain herself. Couldn't justify why she wanted to stop. "M-Maybe you should rest," she said quickly and lamely. "You've had a rough day after all."
He was panting as he regarded her quietly, his lips slightly ajar and his chest heaving up and down. His body had already been so ready…his heart had been so ready…as it has been all this time. "Why..." he said quietly, his voice sounding hurt. "Why don't you ever want to…?"
Keiji had never asked her why she never seemed to want to make love, why she just never seemed as passionate as he was about her. He had never wanted to scare her off, make her think that this was all he wanted. But after all the years of forced kisses and deliberate interruptions, he began to think that something was wrong with him.
Other women didn't seem to find a problem with him though.
He didn't remember when the first time he had cheated on her had been. He hadn't even considered it cheating, he remembered. In college, while everyone was gallivanting and bragging of their exploits, he had been increasingly aware that he and Sakura's relationship was different…almost strained. He had been trying to get advice on it, had started to think that maybe he was doing something wrong, maybe he was doing things that didn't please her. It came to the point where he had tried his moves on someone else to test them…and it worked.
But those girls…including Zhang Yan…they were just girls. This was…this was Kinomoto Sakura. The uncatchable girl. The girl with the brilliant emerald eyes that every man dreamed of. The girl who somehow settled her sights on him, ordinary and boring Shimizu Keiji.
Her lack of passion had always bothered him, but he came to accept it, hoping that she would open herself up more when they were finally married. Keiji simply began thinking that she was so very innocent that she didn't want to be impure before her wedding day.
But ever since she had stepped foot in China…in Li Syaoran's home…
Keiji's blood began to boil. He had never seen her so comfortable with another person, much more another man. Despite the obvious lack of passion, he had grown proud that Sakura had chosen him from all those who had tried to suit her. And that day he had first caught her and Li Syaoran together, staring into each other's eyes while on the Li mansion porch…Keiji swore that he felt he could have gone insane with jealousy. And then, more importantly, he had caught Sakura red-handed as she exited from the C.E.O.'s private office early in the morning with both of them looking disheveled.
Just thinking about it now made him see red.
Sakura felt the tension thicken after his inquiry and she struggled to find an answer, trying to avoid his now upset and possibly angry gaze. What could she possibly tell him? That it just didn't feel right? That she began to think about another man…his boss?
She was relieved when his phone beeped, signaling that he had received a text message. He jerked away from her body and uncovered the cell phone from his pocket, looking quite irate.
His eyes scanned the text message quickly, pursing his lips as he read through some highly provocative and inappropriate lines from a certain Chinese girl. Decidedly, he pocketed the phone and grabbed his jacket, barely throwing Sakura a glance.
"Work stuff came up. I have to go," he said shortly.
"O-Okay," Sakura said quietly. "Be saf-"
But the door had already slammed shut.
Sakura felt rattled as she sat still, looking after the closed door. She was alone again…but somehow…she felt relieved.
She couldn't do it. Couldn't will her body to do something her heart didn't want. It felt too wrong. It felt too forced. Not like how she felt with Li Syaoran. With him…everything just seemed to click into place. Whereas with Keiji, she felt stiff and awkward, with Syaoran, she felt comfortable, as if her body gravitated towards his.
She tried to understand it all. She had known Keiji for several years, had only known Syaoran for a few months. But she had never felt so inclined to protect another person, to attempt make another person smile, to learn more about another person as she felt with the Li leader. And yes, there was no denying that the Chinese man was handsome, but there were so many other things that made him so much more alluring. The gentleness behind his strong façade. His ability to make everything feel better with a simple, warm embrace. The way his face sometimes relaxed into an expression of calmness when he is caught drifting into his own little world, devoid of the seemingly eternal worried wrinkles that settled on his face. The way he simply just seemed to understand her struggles and had been willing to help despite everything she had put him through. The way she sometimes caught a slight crack of a rare smile.
It was…It was no wonder that she fell in love with him so easily.
The thought caused tears to blur her vision and she slowly fell back into her bed, curling up into fetal position as the silent tears fell.
How had she ended up here?
Engaged to a man whom she didn't love…thinking of a man who didn't love her back?
"Sh-Shit!" he cursed into his pillow, biting it in order to muffle his screams. His shaking body ablaze with agony, Syaoran gripped onto his sheets as he lay face down into his bed, attempting to stifle his pain and not alert anyone. His skin was drenched in sweat as Void took its toll on him. The pain was near goddamn unbearable now and not even the strong narcotics for his wounds seemed to help with it. He would rather be shot at by the Shot Card a thousand times than deal with this a second more.
What more did Void want? She was already gone and he would never see her again. Wasn't that enough? Wasn't it enough that she was probably lying in the arms of another man right at this moment? Wasn't it enough that they were probably doing god knows what together, consummating their love? Wasn't it enough that she was going to be married to that man in just a few months?
With all of this, why the hell did Void seem to only get progressively stronger as time went on?
"You've won already," he insisted quietly through gritted teeth. The sharp aching didn't falter. He felt tears threatening to spill from his eyes – whether tears of pain or heartbreak. "You've won."
And Void had won…even from the very beginning.