Chapter 10: Day 8, mid day
Well, this is my first trip to the Soviet Union…what would my father and grandfather say if they knew I was in "enemy" territory. It's weird to think that way. The way the older generation thinks…and then there's me and Linka…The fact that she's a Soviet doesn't bother me at all…and I don't think the fact that I'm an American changes the way she thinks of me. Sure, we joke and tease each other, but it's nothing malicious…for the first time since I agreed to come with her, the thought of how will I be received by her family crosses my mind…will they be accepting of me? Or will they view me as the "enemy?" An evil American. Judging by her grandmother's initial reaction, I don't think I'll have that problem with her:
There's a large crowd of people in Linka's modest home, everyone is there helping to prepare things for Boris' wake. Linka's grandmother rushes to welcome us. She hugs Linka tightly and I can see the concern in her Grandma's eyes when she looks at her. It's obvious to her that her granddaughter is not well. I know that Linka sees the look her grandmother gives her and it's upsetting her. She goes to retreat but I put my hand out, placing it on the small of her back to stop her. It's as if she's noticing me there for the first time and is grateful for the distraction.
She says something in Russian to the older lady. Whatever it is, it must be good.
Grandma smiles at me and says something else to me in Russian. I'm totally lost. I look at Linka for a little help with the translation.
"I am sorry Yankee! Grandmuska, he does not speak Russian."
Grandma laughs and says to me "Welcome Wheeler. It is so nice of you to accompany Linka here during this difficult time."
I return her smile, tell her it's nice to meet her and that I'm glad that I can be here for Linka because I know that she would do the same for me. I'm not telling her grandmother anything that she doesn't already know. She is obviously very proud of Linka and the woman she has become.
She instructs me to put my things in another room. When I return, I see Linka talking to some of the people. I catch her gaze briefly and am about to go to her when I am stopped by a curious stranger. Once he discovers that we do not speak the same language, he moves on, straight to Grandma to get an explanation. She waves at me and I wave back at her and the stranger. When I turn back to Linka, she's gone, but the stranger has pretty much made his way around the room telling everyone about "Linka's Yankee." Or at least that's what I'm assuming he was telling them I am because the ones that could speak English kept coming up to me saying "So, you're Linka's Yankee?"
"Uh, yeah…I guess that's me." But I made sure to add "But we're just friends. I just wanted to be here for her in her time of mourning." I hoped that little tid bit also made its way around the room. I don't want these people to get the wrong impression…as much as I like the implications…I'm not sure Linka would.
Finally, I'm able to get away from the crowd and retreat back to my room. When I put my stuff away earlier, I noticed that the room across from mine had to be Linka's. There was a keyboard in the corner, an empty birdcage hanging from the ceiling, and a poster of some dead composer on the wall. The door to that room was now closed. I knock on the door. I hear Linka say something in Russian. I can only assume it's "come in" or "go away," so I take my chances that it's "come in." I hope it wasn't "hold on, I'm naked" or else we're both in for a big surprise!
She smiles and seems to relax when she sees it's me. I guess that's a good thing. I take that as a sign that it's ok to come in, so I close the door behind me and join her on the bed.
"I was getting worried. You okay?" I ask as I brush a stray piece of hair out of her eyes.
However, before she has a chance to answer, her door flies open, no knocking or anything. It's an older guy and he seems pissed. He starts yelling,
"So! Is this what you were doing while my boy was dying? Canoodling with your American boyfriend, learning all his city ways and corrupted habits?"
Huh? We've never canoodled! I'm not her boyfriend, I don't have any corrupted habits, and what's wrong with my city ways? So this is Boris' dad…Dmitri was it?
Linka's too shocked to speak. Her body is shaking, like she wants to say something, but can't find the words…Fortunately, I'm not having that problem.
"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF TALKING TO HER LIKE THAT?" I yell. Linka tries to say something, but can't find the words other than a shocked gasp. I know she doesn't need to see this, but I'm not gonna let him upset her. If he wants to be mad at someone, he can be mad at me…if he wants to attack someone, attack me! Obviously Dmitri wasn't expecting me to say anything at all, so I continue,
"Do you have any idea what your son did to her? This is HIS fault, not hers! He did this to himself and he nearly killed Linka in the process!"
The old man's face pales,
"Are you saying that he committed suicide?" He asks in dismay.
Linka gets up and stands between us.
"Nyet, that is not what he means. Boris did not mean to kill himself Uncle…he was out of control…"
"That's not the point…" I try saying, but Linka stops me, places her hand on my chest to gently urge me to step back, putting more distance between myself and Dmitri, and says quietly so that only I can hear her,
"Nyet Wheeler, if someone suicides, they cannot have a church funeral. My Uncle must not think that."
Wow. Really? I guess this is just one of the many differences I'm going to come across in this whole funeral thing. In my religion, suicide is a bad thing…against the rules or whatever. A sin against your body…a sin that you aren't able to repent for…but that wouldn't keep someone from getting a proper funeral. If anything, that person would need more prayers and hopefully they'd be granted forgiveness based on the prayers of their loved ones. I always wondered about James' death…did he know what he was doing when he took all those pills? Or was he just as stupid as Boris and too high to realize he'd taken too much?
"I want the truth!" Dmitri says, glaring at me. "Did my son kill himself?"
Linka is holding my hand and squeezing it. Despite my anger, I obey her wishes. I'll do this for her. "Not deliberately, no. He didn't have a clue how much Bliss he'd taken…it was an accident."
A crowd has gathered at the door to see what all the commotion is. Dmitri nods in understanding. Grandma is chasing people away and closes the door behind her. Dmitri is about to say something else, but I'm not finished saying my piece.
"I won't let you blame Linka for this. She feels bad enough already and it wasn't her fault. Boris took the drugs and he snuck them in Linka's food. This is all his fault, but now she's the one that has to live with it."
"I left her looking after him!" Dmitri says, defeated.
"There was nothing she could do. I was there, we tried to save them both, but it just wasn't possible," I say, having calmed down a bit.
"But you managed to save your girlfriend," Dmitri says as he retreats from the room.
That's it, I've had enough! I'm gonna throttle this guy. I don't care if he is grieving. He's got no right to take it out on us. He's got no right to shame Linka or imply that we valued her life over Boris'…well, obviously I do, but that doesn't mean the Planeteers didn't try our hardest to save EVERYONE that Skumm polluted with Bliss.
I take a step forward, but stop when I feel Linka's grip tighten on my hand. When I look down at her to make sure she doesn't want me to do anything, I forget about everything else once I look into her eyes. All she needs for me to do is be strong for her. I don't have to prove anything to Dmitri. Neither one of us do. And I don't have to be afraid of showing that I care for her. That's why I came here. I let go of my anger and pull her into my arms.
"Look after her Wheeler," her grandmother says as she goes after Dmitri, not at all shocked by our current position.
We don't say anything. I have no idea what to say. I don't really think anything needs to be said. I just hold her. Soon Grandma returns, but Linka remains where she is, her head buried in my shoulder.
"I am sorry about all that. I am afraid Dmitri is not himself. I did not know that Linka had taken that dreadful drug too…" her voice cracks as she starts to cry. Now I know why Linka won't look at her. She can't face her grandmother if Grandma thinks that Linka is a drug addict. I can feel Linka's arms tighten around me, pressing her face more firmly into me as she tries to stifle her sobs.
"Let me just make one thing clear…Linka DID NOT take Bliss. Boris slipped it into her food. One of our enemies used Boris to get to Linka. He promised him more drugs if he got Linka Blissed out. As long as her mind was polluted, we couldn't call Captain Planet and the Eco-Villains would have been free to destroy the world."
"I cannot believe Boris would do that to her. He loves…loved his older cousin so much. He looked up to her. I do not believe he could hurt her."
I feel Linka tremble more, her tears soaking through my shirt. I rub my hand up and down her back.
"The drug made Boris do what he did. Of course he would have never hurt Linka if it weren't for that. And if Linka hadn't been tricked into taking it, we would have gotten there much sooner to help…then who knows how things would have turned out…maybe we could have gotten to Boris before it was too late."
Maybe those weren't the right words to say. Maybe it would just add to all the "what ifs" going through Linka's mind. But Linka and her grandmother need to know the truth…this is Boris' fault. Whatever happened to him is his own doing. I hate to speak badly about the dead, but I'm just being honest.
"Is she…"
I adjust my hold on her, getting her to relax against me as I hold her protectively.
"She'll be okay. I'll make sure she is…she doesn't need that though," I say, nodding towards the door in reference to her uncle's outburst.
"He will not say anything more. The ceremony will not begin for a little while. Stay here and compose yourselves."
Her demeanor has changed. Did I cross a line? Should I not have been so harsh on Dmitri and Boris? It is her family after all. I'm just a stranger. Maybe she's just sad for Linka. Maybe me being the one that's comforting Linka is making her uncomfortable. She's probably always been the one to be there to comfort Linka when she was growing up…and now she's all grown up and she has me…as a friend…but these people don't know that. They've all jumped to the same conclusion. I'm Linka's Yankee. Of course I'm her Yankee. It's all I've ever wanted to be.
Once her grandma leaves and we are alone again, I begin stroking her hair.
"I'm sorry Babe. I didn't mean to make things worse…I know you didn't want them to know…I just saw red…"
"I know," she swallows hard, trying to suppress her sobs. "I did not expect my Uncle to…I am glad you are here."
I can't hide the relieved look on my face, and then I lead her over to the bed, sitting down and pulling her down to sit beside me. I put my arm around her and she leans into me. She's a little tense. Is it from this whole situation or am I making her uncomfortable? Is this too "cozy" with her family being right outside and who knows when one of them will just walk right in.
"I have made you soggy again," she says, rubbing her hand over the wet spot left by her tears.
I kiss her forehead to let her know it's not a big deal. "S'okay, Beautiful, that's what I'm here for."
She wraps her arms around my waist and we stay like that until her Grandma calls for us to come to the ceremony. Thankfully her tears have dried, both on her face and on my shirt. I stand up, taking her hands in mine to pull her up with me. Once she's standing in front of me, I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her forehead.
"You can do this."
Then I pull her into my arms, as if a simple hug can transfer strength from one person to another.
"We'll get through this together," I whisper reassuringly against her ear.
To Be Continued…
Don't forget, in order to get the full affect of the story, you HAVE TO read Linka's side of the story in Chapter 10 of LouiseX's Codependence.