Chapter 10: Hot and Cold
Hermione watched as Draco Malfoy lifted his head from her hand, pushing the teacup away. Neville cried out and several occupants of the ward jumped as it shattered on the floor. The silver haired man slumped forward with his elbows on his knees to catch his head in his hands. Hermione's hand fell and reflexively squeezed his shoulder before realizing what she was doing. She bit her lip worriedly as he took a few deep breaths, steadying himself. "What's happened to her?" Malfoy croaked from his folded posture, "Why is she…"
"Didn't the Healer explain before you came in here?" Neville asked with a frown, "They're supposed to tell you-"
Three Healers burst in the room suddenly, rushing to the bed with Narcissa Malfoy. They looked alarmed to see her upright. Hermione stepped to the side to get out of the way, hand still on Draco's shoulder. He jerked upright, hands moving to lay flat on his thighs, eyes glittering furiously.
"Mr. Malfoy," Healer Thomas spoke in a rush, warm eyes looking sincerely apologetic, "Your mother shouldn't be conscious. I am terribly sorry for the shock this must have been." He turned and scanned her with his wand, reading results quickly. His eyes widened in surprise, looking back to Draco. "She's awake… because you're close to her…"
Hermione watched Draco's hands close to fists. "That must be a family blessing," Thomas muttered under his breath, examining Narcissa's eyes, "Very rare. She recognizes you."
"She doesn't," Draco spoke coldly.
"But she does," Thomas replied, turning to face him, "She wouldn't be awake if she didn't."
"She doesn't recognize me," Draco spat, anger coloring his voice. Hermione felt the breath go out of her with his next sentence. "Her eyes looked right through me."
Wendell and Monica Wilkins smiled at each other as they passed Hermione on the street. Her hands shook in her pockets when she realized she was little more than a ghost to them.
Hermione blinked. Malfoy was standing now, yelling at the Healers to explain what was going on as he gestured to his mother. "Mr. Malfoy, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down, and lower your voice in this room," a different Healer admonished firmly. She was helping Narcissa to lay back down in bed. "None of these patients are to be disturbed."
The silver haired man seemed to inflate before them. Draco was about to be very rude, she recognized that posture from behind. She quickly took his arm in both hands, pulling him back into his chair. He fell into it, startled and unprepared for the touch. Without pause, Hermione spoke, "Healers, Neville, give us a moment, please?"
Neville gave her a concerned look. Hermione saw Luna peek her head out from the curtain across the room, and Neville's parents barely visible beyond them. However, her gentle request received immediate compliance. One of the Healers flicked the curtains closed around Narcissa's bed where she lay, contently staring at the ceiling.
Hermione silently cast Muffliato as Draco ripped his arm from her hands, taking several steps away from her. "What are you playing at, Granger?" He spat icily at her, "Hand feeding me my own calming draft?" He mimicked her voice, "Give us a moment?" His tense body looked like a snake ready to strike. Hermione watched him pace the length of the curtain.
"Those Healers have a job to do," she snapped at him, irritated at his spot on mimicry, "They just want to help, and you were about to be an ass about it. This is the Long-term ward, and you don't want to make things more difficult."
"More difficult?" Draco snarled, both his hands dragging through his hair as he tried to contain himself. He closed his eyes. She saw him trying to remain cold, trying to retain the fury, the anger. His posture changed when the ice broke. He held the chair he had been sitting in with both hands. "She doesn't recognize me," he growled, "She doesn't… She isn't…" He half screamed, banging the chair on the ground and dragging his hands through his hair again, trying to regain control. He lost as he bellowed suddenly, "Granger, how in the bloody hell could this get MORE difficult?"
She crossed both arms over her chest, glaring at him steadily across Narcissa's bed. "You could be acting like a brat in front of the Healers and make them less willing to communicate with you. You could get into a physical confrontation with one of them, and be banned from the premises all together." Hermione replied firmly. "She's alive, and she's here. They are going to work hard to try to keep her comfortable, and assess the damage. Losing your head now isn't going to help this situation get better."
The words sounded somewhat hypocritical to herself, considering the meltdown that he'd just witnessed outside the Long-term Ward. "What do you know about it?" Draco hissed angrily, throwing himself into the chair. "Your parents are safe and sound in the Muggle world."
Something snapped. The longing for her own mother and father ached painfully today. Sorrow and fear about the new diagnosis evaporated. An intoxicating fury overtook. His words had broken something inside of her. Hermione stalked over to his chair furiously, raising her hand and hitting him, hard across the face. His head turned with the blow, silver eyes widening in shock.
Hermione took both hands and gathered the front of his robes, pulling him to sit straight up in the chair. "You listen here, Draco Malfoy," she hissed furiously, unable to stop the words. "You're not the only one grieving your parents." It felt like a dam of bottled fury within her chest had broken open. Her hands gave him a hard shake, "My own parents haven't recognized me for the past two years, one day, and seventeen hours. Don't you dare assume you understand a thing about me and mine!"
"Were they tortured, Granger?" Malfoy asked hollowly, recovering his sneering expression, refusing to back down. "Did someone put them under the Cruciatus curse and wrench their brain to nothing?"
"No," Hermione yelled, fingernails digging into her palms, "It was me." She felt a strange pounding in her ears. "I obliviated them myself!"
Draco's coldness, his cruelness, evaporated. His face went strangely blank at her admission. He stood, looking down at her with that expressionless face. Her hands fell to her sides. The blood pounding throughout her body made her feel electrified. She wanted to hurt him, hit him again. Her hands balled into fists. One hit him in the shoulder. He was forced a step back, stumbling and knocking over the chair. She continued blindly hitting where she could, until his back hit the wall, then she stepped forward and pounded her fists against his chest. Control felt far away as a furious wail tore from her lips, uncontrollable and undeniable. Draco's arms wrapped around her and held her tightly, pinning her against his chest. She trembled, barely containing tears, barely containing her desire to throttle Malfoy further.
"I think you've found a side-effect I didn't realize," Draco mused aloud, his chest rumbled against her arms, "Rage… I'll have to change the calming draft, after all."
"Rage?" she seethed, glaring up at him. She couldn't see his face now. He seemed to be standing with his eyes closed, almost in a meditation. "A side-effect? How didn't you notice it until now?"
"Because, unlike you, I'm always angry," Draco responded simply, "...I didn't realize it was anything more than usual until now. Try to take a few deep breaths, and it'll start to fade."
"Let me go," Hermione hissed, struggling against him, feeling Luna's strange charm necklace digging into the skin of her forearms under his shirt, "I said, let me go!"
"Not a chance," Draco replied coolly, solidifying his grip as she struggled uselessly. "You'll try to hex me next, and I'm not planning on an overnight stay."
Her ears were still pounding strangely. She hissed through her teeth, "How did you know I'd hex you?"
"It's what I wanted to do before you stopped me," Draco responded simply, unmoving. "Give it a few more minutes, Granger. You're going to be tripping over yourself to apologize for this mess." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "For what it's worth… you made the right choice. I regret what you had to do to save them."
The rage melted. Hermione felt the tears slide down her face. She bowed her head. Why did she have to keep crying in front of him? Why did he have to keep seeing her fall apart? Why did she say all that to him, of all the witches and wizards in the world? Her hands rested flat against his chest, and she pressed her eyes to the back of her hands. She didn't want to break here, not like this, not with him.
"There you go. See?" Draco muttered, hands falling to his sides to release her.
Hermione didn't let go, nor did she step away. She should've. That would have been appropriate. She couldn't. Her hands fisted in his shirt as she took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to calm herself.
"Weren't you the one that just said losing your head now isn't going to help this situation get better?" Draco asked, attempting a jeering tone. She felt her eyes growing hot and tried, yet failed, to take a steadying breath. It sounded more like a sob than a gasp. Any moment now, she expected him to push her away, tell her to go, that he didn't want a filthy little mudblood like her staining his skin with her tears.
That never came. Instead, his body seemed to soften. One arm hesitatingly wrapped around her waist, resting on the small of her back. A hand gently pressed against the top of her head and stroked her hair.
"I don't like it when you cry," Draco spoke quietly.
She laughed shakily against his chest. "You didn't seem to mind much when you cursed my teeth, Malfoy."
"I was aiming for one of your side-kicks, if you remember rightly," He chuckled at the memory. She felt him spring a few curls in her hair. "You have to admit, looking back, it was fairly amusing." He smirked. She didn't need to see his face to know, "I'm rather proud of that one, Granger. And you had my little spell to thank for the fact that you finally fixed those oversized biters."
"You're such an arrogant git," she half laughed, half sobed.
They fell silent for a few long moments. Hermione continued to try to steady her breathing. Malfoy's hand in her hair felt good. Her shoulders relaxed. His hand was warm and relaxed against the small of her back. She slowly unclenched her hands, palms flat to his chest again. His heartbeat pressed against her fingertips.
She exhaled slowly, "Are you ready to see the Healer?"
"No," he responded calmly, heartbeat not changing as he sprung one last curl. He sighed heavily, releasing her hair, withdrawing his hand from her back, and taking both hands to hers against his chest. "But I'll have to see them anyway."
"...Do you want to be alone?"
Draco gave her a strange, masked look, squeezing her hands slightly. "You might as well stay." He smirked, "Maybe you'll keep me from doing something stupid."