This chapter turned out longer and more angsty than I intended... enjoy!

The next morning was the second time that Lister woke up in bed next to Rimmer. Holly had let them sleep in again because there was no way she was going to make them get up after all that had happened last night. Rimmer deserved to sleep after all he had just been through. Though, Holly wasn't so sure how the hologram would react when he found out he had accidentally fallen asleep in Lister's bed.

Around eleven in the morning, Lister began to stir and Rimmer was gradually pulled from sleep by the sounds of Lister moving around in bed. They opened their eyes at nearly the exact same time and found themselves staring straight at each other. They both lurched backwards in surprise and Dave quickly pulled his limbs out of Rimmer's projection.

"Oh sorry, I must've fallen asleep in your bed again…" he apologized without thinking.

"No, um, actually I fell asleep in your bed. Sorry," realized Rimmer with a blush.

"Oh," said Lister, remembering that they had switched bunks. "It's okay, man. Don't worry about it."

Rimmer just nodded and put his feet over the edge of the bed so he was no longer lying next to Lister.

"How're you feeling?" Lister asked.

"I'm alright," he replied unconvincingly.

"You sure?" asked Lister.

"Yes, I'm sure," he said with a glare that had no real malice behind it.

Lister briefly debated with himself on whether or not he should say the next thing he wanted to say, but after last night, he figured he should at least put it out there. "Hey, if you, um, ever need someone to talk to about something, you can always come to me… well not always, I probably won't be of much help if I'm watching a movie or eating a really good vindaloo… but you know what I mean."

"Why would I want to talk to you about my problems?" Rimmer sneered.

Lister was taken aback. He had seen a much more vulnerable and sensitive side of Rimmer last night, but now it appeared that the man had reverted back to his old snide, defensive ways. He sighed and got out of bed. "Whatever man, just forget it. I'm going to go get some breakfast." Lister left the room quickly, not wanting to let Rimmer see how much he'd hurt his feelings. He didn't even know why he cared that Rimmer was being his typical rude self again. "It's got to be the smegging hormones…" he mumbled to himself.

As soon as Lister had left the room, Rimmer sighed and ran his hands down his face. Why did he always have to be such a jerk to everyone? Lister was being nice to him for once and he had to shoot him down! It was just so hard to accept that anyone would actually care about him, especially Lister. And with Lister being so caring towards him, it was hard to hide the way his holographic heart pounded and his palms got sweaty whenever their eyes met. He just couldn't let Lister see how much he really wanted that. How much he truly wanted to talk to him and be near to him and be cared about. Being an insolent smeghead was his natural defence against emotions that he didn't know how to deal with. He was just like a little kid relentlessly picking on their crush to hide their true desires.

Would he ever work up the courage to tell Lister how he felt about him? Lister had said that he was attracted to men sometimes, but just because he was attracted to men didn't mean he would ever be attracted to a miserable, worthless, failure of a dead man, total smeghead like Arnold Rimmer. And even if Lister, for some impossible reason, liked him back, it wasn't like they could do anything about it. They couldn't even touch let alone kiss or… Rimmer couldn't even let his mind go there. If he started fantasizing about that, then he would just get depressed thinking about how it would never actually happen. No, it would be best if Lister never knew how he felt. He would just have to suck it up and pretend like everything was normal. Smeg, he hoped he could manage that.

When Lister got to the kitchen, he found Kryten already working on his breakfast. He slumped down into one of the chairs and sighed.

"What's wrong, sir?" wondered Kryten as he flipped an egg.

"Ah, Rimmer's just being a smeghead again," Lister explained glumly.

"Well that's nothing new, sir. It's never gotten you down before," pointed out the mechanoid.

"Yeah, I know, but I just kinda thought that after last night he'd be different, y'know? I mean, not a lot different, but I thought he'd at least be a little bit nicer to me. I offered him a shoulder to cry on—figuratively, I told him stuff that most people don't know about me, I let him sleep in my bed for smeg's sake!" exclaimed Lister.

Just as Kryten was about to offer words of consolation, Lister cried out again in surprise and put his hands on his stomach. "Smeg!"

"What is it, sir?" asked Kryten, alarmed.

"I think—I think one of the babies just kicked!" he said with a look of awe on his face.

"My heavens!" exclaimed Kryten.

"Yeah! He just did it again!" said Lister, a smile creeping onto his previously distressed face. "Come feel!"

Lister grabbed Kryten's hand and placed it onto his pregnant belly and they both waited intently for Jim or Bexley to kick again. The mechanoid gasped as he felt a tiny foot kick against his hand. "Oh my! That's extraordinary, Mr. Lister!"

"I know, man! It's smegging awesome! He's gonna be a football player with a kick like that!"

From the corridor just outside the kitchen, Rimmer was watching them, unnoticed. When he saw Lister and Kryten smiling and laughing together, he wished it was him that Lister was being so friendly with. He wished that he could feel Lister's babies kicking. But even if he was physically able to touch Lister's stomach, there was no way the man would let him. Not after he had been such a smeghead that morning. Dejectedly, the hologram sighed and walked back the way he'd come.

"I think you should go down to the medical bay so I can give you your weekly check-up today, sir," said Kryten.

"Yeah, probably," agreed Lister. "But can I have me breakfast first?"

"Of course, sir," the mechanoid smiled. "Fried eggs with horseradish and chutney drizzled in chocolate sauce, just the way you like it!"

"Aw, cheers, man!" Lister grinned as Kryten placed his latest craving down in front of him. The mechanoid didn't know how Lister could so happily scarf down such strange and disgusting combinations of food, but if it made him happy, Kryten was more than willing to cook it for him.

"Well, sir, everything looks fine," Kryten reported after giving Lister his check-up. "You're perfectly normal for someone who is six months pregnant."

"Six months!" exclaimed Lister.

"Yes, sir," said Kryten.

"How can they be growing that fast? This is terrible! I'm not ready for them yet, Kryten!"

"Oh, sir, I'm sure everything will be just fine!" Kryten assured him.

"Tell me, how long do I have until they're due?"

"Well um, I don't want you to panic, sir, but…"

"Spit it out, Kryten! I can handle it!"

"One week."

"One week? One smegging week!" Lister cried.

"Please, sir, calm down! You don't want to get upset in your condition," the mechanoid warned.

"I can't be ready to be a dad in one week! I don't know how to raise a kid! Let alone two! Smeg, this is going to be a disaster!" He shook his head in disbelief and despair.

Kryten hated seeing Lister so upset and he began to get flustered, wondering what he could do to help. "Oh please don't worry, sir! Do you want me to make you a vindaloo? Would that make you feel better?"

Lister shook his head. "No thanks, Kryten. I just… need some time to think," he said as he got off the examination table and sulked out of the medical bay, heading for his room.

Meanwhile, Rimmer was sulking through the corridors as well. He found Cat sitting in the drive room, filing his nails. The hologram slumped down in a chair on the opposite side of the room and sighed heavily.

Cat glared up at him. "What's up with you? Did you finally realize how ugly you are?"

"No, it's not that," Rimmer sighed.

"Well then can you go be sad somewhere else? You're blocking the view of my reflection in that panel."

"I don't want to go somewhere else, I might bump into Lister," the hologram explained.

"Why don't you want to see monkey-boy?" wondered Cat. He didn't really care about Rimmer's problems, but hey, curiosity killed the cat.

"Because I was a complete and utter smeghead to him this morning and now I'm certain he's mad at me. But I didn't mean to be that awful to him, it just kinda came out. I didn't know what else to say!"

Cat glanced up at Rimmer with a quirked eyebrow. Goal-post head was one strange guy. What made him think he could just come in there and make him be his therapist? Nevertheless, Cat knew that if he didn't give Rimmer at least a little bit of advice that he'd never leave him alone. And he'd give anything for alphabet-head to leave him alone! "Well, why don't you just apologize?" Cat suggested, going back to filing his nails.

Rimmer looked up. "Yes, I should go apologize to him! Thanks, Cat!" he said as he got up and walked off to go find Lister.

"Whatever," Cat replied. "What a weirdo."

Lister laid down on his bed and put his hands on his stomach to comfort himself and the babies. "Oh, Jim and Bexley," he whispered to them. "I don't know how to be a dad to you. And you haven't got a mum. She abandoned you. She abandoned us. She didn't even care that I might be pregnant with her children! She was glad to get rid of us! I don't know if I can do this by myself!" he confessed to his children as tears began to run down his cheeks. "We're on our own here," he told them miserably. He knew what it felt like to be abandoned; it made him feel sick to think that his children would have to know that pain as well.

As soon as Rimmer entered the room and saw Lister clutching his stomach and crying, the apology that had been on his tongue disappeared from his mind. "Lister! What's wrong?" he asked. "Is everything alright with the babies?"

"They're fine," Lister assured him coldly without looking at him. Why couldn't Rimmer just leave him alone?

"Then why're you crying?" Rimmer asked, concern seeping into his voice no matter how much he tried to stop it.

"Why would I want to talk to you about my problems?" asked Lister, throwing Rimmer's exact words back at him.

Hearing Lister echo his own words from that morning sent a pang of hurt straight through the hologram's heart, he winced and stepped closer. "I'm sorry, Lister. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that, I just didn't know what else to say. I was being a total smeghead. Can you forgive me?"

Lister sat up and nodded, wiping his eyes and his nose on his sleeve.

"Now, will you tell me what's wrong?" asked Rimmer, sitting down on the bed next to him.

"I don't think I can do it," said Lister, looking down at his pregnant belly. "I can't raise Jim and Bexley on me own! It's hard enough to raise one kid alone, but two? That's just too much for one guy to handle!"

"Lister, you won't have to raise Jim and Bexley on your own," said Rimmer softly.

"I won't?" he asked. "How? I'm a single dad."

"I'll help you. We'll all help you. Me, Kryten, Holly… I don't know if I can speak for the Cat… but we'll help you," Rimmer assured him.

"Really? You'd do that for me?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course! Did you think we'd just go about minding our own business while you were struggling to raise twins?"

"Well… kinda…" Lister admitted.

"No, you're not alone, Listy. And Jim and Bexley won't be alone either. They won't know you as a struggling, lonely, single dad. They won't feel abandoned, I promise. I'll raise these children with you, Lister. You'll never be alone in this," assured Rimmer, his heart pounding from the intimacy of the words he was saying.

"You really mean that?" asked Lister, looking up into Rimmer's eyes for the first time.

Rimmer's breath caught in his throat. Their eyes were locked. When had their faces gotten so close together? "I mean it," said Rimmer, feeling as if he was dropping his whole heart into Lister's hands.

Upon hearing that, Lister felt his heart melt and, as if drawn in by a force beyond his control, he slowly began to lean in towards Rimmer. He felt warm inside and he had never imagined he would feel as close to the other man as he did right then.

Rimmer drew in a shaky breath as he realized what was happening. Hesitantly he began to lean in as well; his eyes were locked with Lister's until Lister dropped his gaze to stare at Rimmer's lips. They were so close now that Rimmer felt he was about to explode with anticipation. Just a few more centimetres and—

"Dave," said Holly, popping up on screen.

Startled, Lister and Rimmer immediately jerked away from each other and stared up at Holly like middle schoolers who had gotten caught making out in the school cafeteria by the vice principal.

"The pictures from your ultrasound are ready for you in the lab," Holly informed him.

"Oh, um, thanks, Hol," said Lister, extremely flustered. Meanwhile Rimmer was turning as red as a tomato.

"I hope I wasn't interrupt anything, was I?" asked Holly, observing their peculiar behaviour.

Yes! Rimmer wanted to scream. Yes, we were just about to have the most fan-smegging-tastic kiss of all time and you ruined it! But when he opened his mouth to speak, all that came out was "N—no."

"That's good then," said Holly, disappearing from the screen.

"I guess I had, um, better go get those pictures now…" said Lister awkwardly.

"Uh yes," agreed Rimmer.

Unable to think of anything else to say, Lister got off of his bed and quickly left the room. Smeg! What was that? Had he really just almost kissed Rimmer? His mind began to race as soon as he was in the corridor. And was Rimmer really about to kiss him back, or was he just imagining that? If Rimmer had really wanted to kiss him then why did he let him leave? But then again, if he really wanted to kiss Rimmer then why did he leave?

And more importantly, why did he really want to kiss Rimmer? Sure, Rimmer had been acting a bit caring towards him ever since he had gotten pregnant, but it had never been like that before. The look in his eyes, the sincerity in his voice, it had made Lister feel so warm and loved. But if he had kissed him, Rimmer probably would have just freaked out and ran away and things would have been incredibly awkward for the rest of their lives. Maybe it was a good thing that Holly had interrupted them.

Once Lister was gone, Rimmer started to panic, just a little bit. Had he really just almost kissed Lister? Had Lister really just almost kissed him? Surely Lister didn't want to kiss someone like him! He must have misread the signs. Smeg, how horrible it would have been had he actually kissed the man! He could just picture the look of sheer disgust on Lister's face when their lips met… if their lips even could meet. Rimmer wondered what it felt like to a human to touch the edge of a holographic projection. He would probably have been able to feel something, but nothing like what a real kiss should feel like.

And then Lister would have known how he felt about him, making for an incredibly awkward voyage until one or both of them died. He decided it would be best to never bring this incident up again. Maybe then they could just pretend like nothing ever happened. He hoped to a god he didn't really believe in that things wouldn't be too awkward when they met again.

Haha, I feel so mean interrupting their kiss like that! Leave me a review :)