Sandy Shores always felt hotter than anywhere else in Blaine County. Even over in Grapeseed, the sun felt cooler against my skin. I had promised Trevor that morning that I would head over to Maude's place to pick up information for him on some new jobs while he was at the lab. She looked up from her computer when I peeled into the driveway in my Voltic, which admittedly hadn't gotten a lot of use yet.
"In a hurry there, darlin'?" She chuckled as I slammed the car door behind me.
"I don't think it's possible not to drive fast in that thing." I grinned at her as I pushed my sunglasses up onto my head. "I've been sent to pick up information for Trevor."
She nodded at me, handing over a manila folder with a few sheets of paper in it. "He told me you were comin' by." She raised an eyebrow at me as I flipped through the papers in the folder and sighed. "So... If ya don't mind me askin'; you two still screwin' around together or what? He ain't scared ya off, yet?"
I beamed at her and held up my left hand to show her my engagement ring, fluttering my fingers around to showcase it.
"Ho-ly shit." She looked at me in disbelief, shaking her head as if I had just told her a blatant lie. "You're kidding. You got Trevor goddamn Philips to put a ring on your finger? You must have some kinda power over that man."
I raised my eyebrows at her as I closed the folder back up, and grabbed my car keys off of the table. "Something like that." I headed back towards my car, and tossed the papers onto the passenger seat. "Thanks, Maude!" I called back to her as I started the car, "I'll tell Trevor you said hi!"
I blared the radio on the way back to Sandy Shores, feeling good about life in general. Sure, things were rocky with my parents again, but I had smoothed things over with Marjorie, and life at home with Trevor was comfortable and uneventful.
"Trev-" I stopped in the doorway when I got home, realizing that he wasn't inside, though his truck was parked out on the street. That was nothing new. I knew his inclination for stealing vehicles, though I preferred not to think about it. I did, however, find Wade sitting on the couch, presumably waiting for Trevor to get back.
"Oh, hi, Jane," Wade jumped to his feet, looking nervously at me. "I'm sorry. I was just waitin' for Trevor to get back. He didn't say nothin' about where he was goin', did he?"
I dropped the manila folder on the counter and shoved my hands into my pockets. "He said he was going over to the lab, but he should've been back by now. He'll probably get home, soon. You can wait here if you want, Wade." He nodded and returned to his place on the couch. "Are you hungry? Want something to eat?"
Wade's eyes lit up, and he nodded enthusiastically. I tossed him a bag of chips that had been sitting on the top of the fridge, and he tore into it. I flopped down next to him and flipped on the TV. He held out the chips to me, silently offering me some.
I shook my head in response. "I'm okay right now."
Wade looked at me with a confused expression on his face. "I never get it when people say that," he told me, "I'm always hungry." I laughed, patting him on the shoulder.
"You're funny," I told him.
"I like havin' you here," he said with a smile, "Trevor's nicer 'round you, too."
"Speak of the devil," I chuckled as Trevor stepped inside, letting the door slam behind him.
He ignored my comment, and glanced over at Wade, already looking annoyed with him. "Are you eating my fucking food, Wade?"
Wade dropped the chips on the couch, his eyes wide and his face blank. "Relax, babe," I jumped in, "I gave them to him."
"You're lucky she's defending you," Trevor spoke to him curtly, adding in at the end, "Now fuck off." Wade scurried out of the trailer without another word.
"Bye, Wade!" I called after him. I turned my attention to Trevor, looking cross with him. "You should be nicer to him; Ron, too."
He groaned, turning his back to me to grab a box of toaster waffles out of the freezer. He popped two of them into the toaster and turned around to look at me, clearly irritated. "You're right; I should. But I'm not a nice guy." I rolled my eyes when he looked away, grabbing his waffles out of the toaster. He stood at the counter, eating them dry.
"You're spoiling your appetite. I was about to make lunch," I declared, folding my arms over my chest.
"Don't worry about it. You've already done something nice for me, today." He picked up the folder, flipping through the papers for a moment before tossing it aside.
"Well, let me do something else nice for you."
"I could think of a few things you could do for me," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I ignored his commentary, choosing to make lunch right away. Trevor made himself busy outside, drinking and screwing around with the engine of a motorcycle in the driveway. Apparently, that was what he had driven home. By the time I had finished up, Trevor was asleep on the front porch, sprawled out on the dilapidated couch with a beer still in his hand. Gently, I shook him awake, trying to get him inside for lunch. As he stirred from his sleep, I could tell he was already a bit drunk.
"Hey, cupcake," he purred, pulling me onto his lap as he sat up. I felt his lips press against my neck, his stubble tickling my skin, and he spoke softly. "Let's forget lunch; I got other plans."
"That's for later," I whispered into his ear, shooting him a sly grin when I pulled away.
He groaned, clearly disappointed by my answer. "I want you. You look good."
"Thank you, baby," I patted him on the cheek as I began to stand up, but I yelped when he pulled me back into his lap, a bit more forcefully this time.
"Don't dismiss me," he muttered, his fingers ticking their way up my side. He pushed aside my hair and dropped his head against my shoulder, letting out a low growl. I tried to ignore the fire that was slowly growing in the pit of my stomach.
I wriggled my way out of his grip and hopped to my feet, pulling him along behind me by his arm as I went back inside, "Lunch is already done." He grumbled about who knows what as I dragged him along, and he rubbed his eyes in a daze when he stepped into the kitchen.
"Smells amazing. What are we eating?" Trevor took a seat at the table, already cracking open another beer.
"Lemon pepper chicken, rice and broccoli," I told him with a smile. I placed a plate full of food in front of him and returned to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. He had already finished half of his meal by the time I started eating mine, and I looked at him proudly.
"God, you spoil me," he said between mouthfuls, "I never ate nearly this good before you."
I grinned at him and looked back down at my plate as I took another bite. Trevor stayed quiet, listening to the news still playing on the TV behind us.
"Yeah, it was really scary," I heard the man on the TV screen say, "He said somethin' like 'You forget a thousand things every day; make sure this is one of them.'" Trevor whirled around to look at the TV, jumping to his feet and throwing his knife down onto his plate.
He looked stunned. He spoke calmly, but I could hear the rage boiling up inside of him. "Either I just saw a fucking ghost, or I've been lied to for the last ten goddamn years of my life."
I looked at him blankly. "Baby, what's going on?"
"That son of a BITCH, Michael Townley! He's been alive this whole goddamn time! I thought he was FUCKING dead!" He slammed his fists down on the counter, and I rushed to his side.
"This doesn't make any sense, love," I tried to calm him down. "You said you saw him get shot. They buried him and everything."
"Well, apparently fucking not! I'm gonna kill the bastard!" He stormed out the front door, and I chased after him, trying to grasp what was going on.
I grabbed his arm before he headed down the front steps. "Trev-"
"Not now!" He snapped. I stepped back and let go of his arm, looking at him with a wounded expression on my face. "I'm sorry," he tried to speak calmly, "I just- I have to get out of here. I'll be back... Sometime."
I gave up on trying to get him to stay. I cleaned up the dishes from lunch and headed across the street to work a shift at the Chinese food restaurant. My head was in a fog, and I made one clumsy mistake after another, annoying my boss and making me more and more frustrated. I left work at 9 pm, feeling anxious and ready to go lay down. I sat in bed watching TV and eating chocolate ice cream directly from the carton, trying to distract myself from the expected; Trevor would be back at some point, inevitably angry and devising a crazy plan of some sort. I crawled under the covers and flicked off the light, staring blankly at the wall until I drifted off to sleep around 1 am.
I was grumpy as I woke up early to the sound of Trevor yelling outside; nothing new there.
"I'm sorry, Trevor; I'm tryin'," I heard Wade say.
I padded outside, still in my pajamas and squinting in the sunlight. Trevor was leant over the railing shouting at Wade, and Ron was cowering behind him on the porch. "What's going on?" I whispered to Ron.
"Wade's trying to find that Michael guy Trevor's always talkin' about," He answered in hushed tones, inching closer to me so I could hear him over Trevor and Wade's conversation.
"Amanda?! Wade, you're a genius!" Trevor exclaimed, and I turned my attention to him. "C'mere; I'm not gonna hit ya." Wade nodded knowingly and hoisted himself up onto the railing. I flinched as Trevor's fist collided with his face, knocking him back to the ground.
"Trevor!" I jumped in, trying to pull him back. I looked down at Wade, who had crumpled to the ground in pain, holding his nose in his hand. Trevor ignored me, elbowing me away from him.
"Don't you ever not tell me things I wanna know!" He barked. I ran to help Wade up off the ground, and walked him inside, cleaning up his bloodied nose as he leaned against the kitchen counter.
"Wade, let's go!" Trevor shouted. I rushed after them, grabbing Trevor's arm on his way down the stairs. "I'm coming with you," I declared, looking at him resolutely.
"No."
"Yes. Please, I want to come with you," I pleaded.
"Don't you have to work today?" He looked at me as if he had just won the argument. I crossed my arms, feeling defeated.
"Alright, you got me there. But please call me; don't leave me in the dark." I pulled him towards me and kissed him gently before letting him go.
"You got it, kiddo," he answered me gruffly. And he was off.
"Trevor! Baby, what's going on?" I answered the phone in a desperate tone of voice.
"Hey, beautiful." He sounded drained. "I'm gonna be out here for a while. If you wanna come out to the city, I'll send you the address. I miss you."
"Yeah, of course," I dismissed what he had just said, "Are you okay? Did you find Michael?"
"Yeah, I found the bastard. I'll tell you more when you get here, okay?"
"Okay, love. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"Love you, too," he sighed before ending the call. I packed an overnight bag quickly, throwing in enough clothes for a week, along with all of my toiletries. I sat in my car, waiting for Trevor's text to come through, telling me where to go. I pulled out onto the road as soon as he messaged me, heading out towards Los Santos. A few hours later, I pulled up to a faded blue apartment building right by Vespucci Beach. I parked my car on the street, grabbed my bag out of the passenger seat, and headed towards the staircase in the little garage across the way.
I knocked on the door, hoping that I was at the right place. Sure enough, a shirtless Trevor emerged, and I threw myself into his arms. He took my hand and led me into the apartment, which was a decent size; two bedrooms to the right and a sizeable living room and kitchen to the left. I stared at the wall to the left of the door. The words 'Live, Love, Laugh' had been crossed out and written over in some sort of dark ink. 'Eat Shit Die' it said. Clearly, Trevor had already made his mark on the place.
"Where's Wade?" I asked him as he led me into the living room, gesturing for me to sit down next to him on the sofa. He rolled his eyes.
"I sent him and his twitchy cousin out to get drinks. And food."
"Trev," I changed the topic, "Are you okay? Did you go see Michael?"
"I did," he nodded, his voice low and filled with disgust, "Fat bastard's been living out here for years in his fancy house with his nagging wife and his useless kids."
"I'm sorry. I'm worried about you, though, babe," I took his hands in mine, turning to face him.
"I'm fine," he dismissed my concern, looking away from me. Gently, I reached out to turn his face back towards mine, and pressed my forehead to his.
"I know you well enough to know when you're hurting, love," I whispered.
"It's just- I mourned him, Jane. I mourned him, and he wasn't even fucking dead. I spent almost ten years out here alone, wondering why I lived and he died. And it was all a fucking lie." My hands slid down to rest on his collarbone, and I traced the dotted line tattooed around his neck with my thumb. His voice was quiet when he spoke up again, "Sometimes I wished it was me instead of him."
I placed a hand under his chin and lifted his face to press my lips to his. "Well, I'm glad that didn't happen."
He sighed, leaning back into the couch and pulling me close to him. "Why are you marrying me, Jane?"
I pulled away a bit, looking cross with him. "You can't be serious. Trevor, everything you've done for me... You're sweet and you're thoughtful and you always put me first. I'd be crazy not to."
"When I showed up at Michael's, he stood in front of Jimmy. It was like he thought I was gonna jump across the counter and strangle him. I held that kid when he was born. Am I really that much of a monster?"
"Oh, Trev," I whispered. "No, you're not a monster."
"I kill people, sweetheart. Hell, I've killed for fun." I winced at his words. "And then there's you. You sit in my trailer and watch your shows and work on puzzles. You knit and do yoga and go to your regular job and... I just don't know what you're doing here with me. It doesn't feel real."
"I'll have you know, I look very intimidating while I'm knitting. Those needles are sharp, you know," I joked, trying to make him smile.
"Jane," he sighed, looking annoyed. "I'm serious. I keep wondering when I'm finally going to take it too far and you're going to walk away. Ring or no ring, you know you're always free to leave. I know I'm not an easy person to be with."
My heart broke for him, and I wrapped my arms around him, staring up at him with pure love in my eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, love. I know you've had people abandon you; but I'm not them. You're stuck with me," I grinned at him and bumped shoulders with him playfully.
"I don't understand it. Feels like I'm going to wake up at any second."
"You don't have to understand it for it to be real." He leaned into my touch when I stroked his cheek, and I scooted closer to him. "I'm here. I know what you've done, Trevor. I know your past, and I know not all of it is going to stay in the past. It's okay."
"I scare myself sometimes. Someday you'll see what I really am, and when you do, you're going to run."
"I already know what you are, Trevor. I know you."
He pulled me to his chest, clinging to me as if he was afraid I would float away. He let out a shaky breath and dropped his head against my shoulder. "I just love you so much, Jane."
In an instant, his hands shot up to rest on my neck, and he kissed me hard, pressing my back against the couch. Our kiss was hungry and filled with desperation, and his hands had quickly begun to wander. His stubbly jaw brushed against my cheek as he moved to press his lips to my neck. "Trev," I sighed, "Aren't they going to be back soon?"
He shook his head, still gripping me tight. "I locked them out." I giggled and let out a yelp when he picked me up off the couch. He grabbed at my clothes frantically, pulling everything off as he carried me into one of the bedrooms, and nearly threw me onto the bed. He crawled on top of me, kissing me hungrily as I tugged at his clothes, which all came off before I even had a moment to come up for air.
"Please," I whispered, feeling him pressed against the inside of my thigh. He groaned into my ear as he slipped inside of me, and I pulled him close to me.
"I love you so much, Jane. I can't- I- Fuck, you feel so good," he babbled.
I clung to him as he thrust into me, and he looked me in the eye with an expression much akin to that of a predator; His eyes were dark and blown wide with arousal, and his teeth were bared. I melted into him when his lips came crashing down against mine. He trailed kisses along my collar bone and up my neck, and I whimpered his name as his teeth sank into my skin.
His arms were wrapped around me, and his hips snapped into me; I was lost in the sensation, inching closer and closer to the edge. And then all at once, I dissolved, whimpering and moaning against his shoulder as his hips lost all rhythm. "I love you, Jane," he groaned, "Fuck, I love you so much." He pressed his cheek to mine, snarling into my ear as he reached his climax.
He collapsed around me, stroking my hair and looking into my eyes; his expression was soft and relaxed. "How could I ever want anyone but you?" I sighed. He rolled over next to me, reaching for the tissues on the nightstand to clean up.
"We didn't use a condom," he stated, glancing over at me as if he was trying to decide whether to be concerned or not.
I shrugged. "I'm still on the pill; we're fine." I jumped when I heard an abrupt banging noise coming from the living room.
"Fuck," Trevor exhaled, "That'll be Wade and Floyd." I watched him in a daze as he pulled his sweatpants back on.
"Hey," I crawled down to the end of the bed and grabbed his hand before he could leave the room and pulled him back towards me, reaching up to plant a kiss on his lips. "I'm here. Always."