"underneath the stars

there are a million ways

to be the way you are

all of them dying
underneath the rays

there'll be a million ways

to live the days ahead . .

why are we crying?"

Railroad Earth "'Neath the Stars"

*Just wanted to say thank you to keke wonder and Megan39 and anyone who I can't PM when they review!

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I knew Jake felt horrible after what happened even if it wasn't his fault. He told me they were sorry for what they had said, but he had laid into them. I didn't ask what he told them, but he said he shared his lunch with them and they felt even worse.

We were relaxing in the living room, Jake looking at papers about taking his GED, when he looked up at me sprawled on the couch. "Bells, it's almost your birthday," he said.

I looked down at him. "I don't really need anything," I said. He knew I wasn't much into my birthday, but he got that stubborn look I was too used to seeing.

"Well too bad," he said idly. "I'm getting you something whether you want me to or not. But I was going to ask you if you would actually want to go out to eat at a restaurant. I thought maybe if you're up for it we could invite our dad's?"

I pondered that for a moment and actually liked the idea. I missed Charlie, and I cared a great deal about Billy, too. It would be nice to see them and I supposed it was probably time for that anyway.

"That's a pretty good idea," I said. "Yeah, maybe I'll call Charlie now and see if he can get off work for the day and bring Billy for a visit."

Excited now, I picked up my phone and called Charlie.

When he answered, I dove right in. "Hey Dad, are you busy on the Saturday after my birthday?" It was a Saturday Jake and I both had off, although my birthday fell on Wednesday.

"I work a shift in the morning," he said.

"Could you get someone to work for you?" I asked hopefully. "I wanted to know if you would come to visit and bring Billy with."

"I can check into it," he said, his voice gradually growing more animated at the idea. "I would love to see you, Bells. And I know Billy would love to see Jake, too."

I gave Jake a thumbs-up. "Jake thought maybe we could all go out to eat. You know I don't need gifts, Dad, but I think I'm ready," I said. I knew how much I wanted to see my Dad, and I knew I was nowhere near being healed, but I didn't want to hold out any longer. I missed him too much.

"That's a good idea," he said warming even more to the idea. "I'll call you back when I know for sure, okay?"

After I hung up, I gave Jake a little smile. "Thanks Jake. That was a good idea."

He just smiled smugly and turned back to the papers he was flipping through.

The next few days went by as they normally did except Jake and I were a little more careful around each other. After our nighttime swim, feeling each other's bodies even more intimately than before – even if by accident – I had become a little too aware of him and it scared me. The guilt would come in waves as I felt like a traitor to Edward and that in turn would hurt so much when I thought of him.

The morning of my birthday, I went in to work and was caught off guard. Dana and the rest of my co-workers had decorated the kitchen with streamers and had made a beautiful chocolate raspberry cake decorated with fresh raspberries and my name printed on it. My cheeks heated at all the attention; I still felt weird about celebrating my birthday, but appreciated their gesture.

They chipped in and got me a gift card to a local bookstore and I thanked them profusely while blushing and stammering it wasn't necessary.

"Oh, psh," Dana said with a laugh. "We were happy to do it!"

Everyone wished me a happy birthday and we each had a piece of cake before starting work. It was delicious, of course, and Dana wrapped up another piece for me and one for Jake and handed them to me with a wink.

When I got home later that afternoon, I got some salmon out to thaw for dinner. Jake would be home in about an hour or so; he said he had an errand to run after work. So I took advantage of the quiet, content to just stretch out in bed. I called Renee because it had been awhile and I knew she would worry. She was thrilled to hear from me and after endless questions asking if I was doing okay and some tears, I managed to distract her and she chattered in her usual excited way about what was new.

I heard the door slam downstairs. Jake was home, so I promised my mom I would call her after I received her birthday gift. I heard him coming up the stairs and he poked his head into our room. He had a look of excitement with a little dash of worry.

"Jake?" I questioned. "What's going on? What did you do?"

He bit his lip. "Close your eyes, Bells. I have your birthday present."

I gave him a look, but he shushed me when I started to speak. He gave me his best pleading look and with a roll of my eyes I obediently closed them. I heard him shuffling around and putting something down on the floor. My curiosity was piqued now, and I wanted to see what he was up to.

"Okay, you can open them," he said excitedly.

I opened my eyes and they continued to open wider as I saw what looked suspiciously like a cat carrier. "Um, Jake?" I said faintly. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yeah," he said a little more nervousness creeping into his tone. He opened the door and out poked a small black and white face. It didn't come out right away, but my eyes locked with the cat inside.

Despite my shock at what he got, I felt my heart melt for the scared cat. "Oh Jake…" I said. "She's beautiful, but are we even allowed to have pets?"

"I checked, Bells," he said shaking his head. "We are. And I spent the past few days going to the shelter to sit by her to see if she could get used to me and she did really well. She's about seven years old and they were afraid they would have to put her down because she's an older cat and they've had her for awhile."

He paused to take a breath and then continued before I could say anything. "She's also scared a lot, though she wants attention as well, because she was found to be neglected and abused. I know you're more of a dog person, hell I'm more of a dog person, but I liked her immediately and the person there said it was unusual for her to approach someone as quickly as she did with me. They said she's a good cat and she just needs love and some time. I thought because you both needed that you would be good for each other."

He stopped his verbal spewing and just stared at me.

My heart melted even more at the sweet gesture he had made. I never thought much about cats; he was right, I had always preferred dogs, but I had nothing against cats. And knowing what had happened to her…

I felt tears burn behind my eyelids as she slowly crept out of the carrier. He was right, she was definitely scared and I could relate. She hesitantly rubbed against Jake's legs and then darted under the chair in the corner of the room. She was on the smaller side and was a swirly mix of black and white. Her face was pure white, though, with a black patch around her right eye.

"Her name is Tinker, too, which I thought was suitable."

I gave a watery giggle at the thought. "She's so pretty," I said quietly.

I asked him about what had happened to her and he told me she was abandoned and was found on the side of the road with patches of hair missing and she was a little bloody in spots and was very thin. They determined she had been abused because of her fear of keys. I made a vow to be very careful to never jingle them. It made my heart break to think of what this cat went through.

Jake leaned against the bed and I kissed the top of his head. "Thank you," I said quietly.

He smiled and leaned his head back. I absent-mindedly combed my fingers through his hair which was getting longer again. We watched Tinker and stayed pretty still as she crept out from under the chair. Jake put a little dry food in a dish and pushed it away from him. She slunk over and began eating. When she was done she sniffed Jake's foot which made us both snicker.

She sat close to us, just out of reach but seemingly relaxing a little. It might take a day or a few days, but she obviously wanted and needed loving attention, and I was more than willing to offer what I could.

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CPOV

I had lived in Forks a long time, but it was the first time in awhile I felt restless. It had been so difficult after divorcing Renee and losing my baby girl. When Bella came to live with me it was an adjustment, but I was thrilled to have her back. Now with her gone again the house felt so empty and I missed my daughter. I was also terrified to find out how she was doing, how she looked because I had lived through that hell with her when Edward Cullen left her the first time.

I rubbed a hand over my jaw, absently noting I needed to shave. Exhaustion was creeping up on me as I continued sending out feelers to police departments in other states and if possible even in other countries to try and locate the Cullen's and Edward in particular. I could still scarcely believe he was taken; it seemed so strange and random.

I couldn't even begin to imagine how Carlisle and Esme must be feeling. If it was Bella that had been taken I would be moving mountains to find her. It was a horrifying thought and I felt sympathy for them. Even if I had never felt Bella and Edward's relationship was normal and healthy it didn't mean I would have wanted this.

I flipped through the faxes that were sent in regards to finding the Cullen's. "Hey Charlie," Mark, one of my deputies, said with a clap to my shoulder. "Any luck?"

"Not yet," I said stifling a yawn. "There have been notices put out, but no real sightings of anyone in the family much less Edward."

He shook his head. "I still can't believe it," he said with a sigh. "We go from practically no crime to this?"

"I know, it's scary," I replied. I put the papers back in their file and leaned back in a stretch.

"How's Bella doing?" he asked with concern.

"As well as can be expected," I said. The familiar twinge of worry hit me as I thought about my little girl suffering from this loss. "She called me not too long ago to ask me if I would visit this weekend."

"Yeah? That's great! You work a shift, though, so do you want me to cover for you?"

He was one of my best deputies and a truly nice guy. "I'd really appreciate that, Mark, as long as it isn't a problem."

He said it was fine and I thanked him profusely. I gave Billy a call and asked him if he wanted to ride up with me on Saturday and he agreed readily. As I drove home, I thought about how hard it was on Billy, too. Jake had stopped home a few times to visit with Billy and help out where he could, but I knew Billy missed him even if he didn't say so.

I was grateful to Jacob for helping Bella when it was obvious she so desperately needed it. The last time was horrible and I had been so worried about her. Jacob had pulled her out of that zombie depression that scared the shit out of me and I was grateful. It was hard to imagine how she was coping with this. Was it harder? Or was it easier to cope with since Jake was there with her? I had no idea, but I would find out this weekend.

I stopped at the diner in town and got a burger and fries. I was capable of cooking some things for myself, but it was nothing like having Bella at home. I felt guilty she had taken over that job, but she seemed to enjoy it well enough and she said not to worry about it, so I had gotten used to it. Sue sometimes brought stuff by for me, which was generous of her, but I had also started eating more at the diner again. Before I left I gave Bella a call to let her know we would be there on Saturday.

Once home I grabbed a beer and parked myself on the couch, the silence in the house not so welcome anymore. It wasn't like Bella was noisy, but I had gotten used to hearing my daughter move around the house and I missed it. With a sigh, I cracked open my beer and watched the game.

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Saturday came and I picked Billy up in the car Sue had loaned us so I didn't have to take my cruiser. Rachel gave me a wave, her dad a kiss, and promised to be back when he got home. Billy was used to doing certain things himself, so I just helped when he needed it as he got himself situated in the car.

Once on the road I glanced over at him. "Did you talk to Jake today?" I asked casually.

"Yes," he said calmly. "He said Bella is trying, but it's still a tough process."

He knew what I wanted to know. I was too afraid to ask Bella the personal questions; the questions that would just hurt her so I went to Billy after he talked to Jake. Neither one of us was much for talking, especially about our feelings, so the ride was a pretty quiet one. The closer we got to Hoquiam the more nervous I became.

"It's the last turn on this road," Billy said. "Make a left and it's the tall stone building."

I turned and parked in front of the apartment complex that my daughter now lived in with Billy's son. My stomach clenched as I heard Billy say my name. "Charlie, it will be fine," he said quietly. "She wants you here. That's a good thing."

I nodded, swallowing hard, and I helped Billy out of the car and into his wheelchair. I rolled him up to the doors and thankfully there was an elevator that would take us up to the second level. Once we reached that floor the first apartment was theirs and I knocked. I heard talking and rustling and when the door opened and I saw my little girl's face all I could do was reach out and pull her into a tight hug.

"Dad," she whispered against my chest.

I struggled to retain my composure. I felt her shift against me, but my arms refused to let go just yet. I didn't want to embarrass myself or her, but I needed to hold her longer. Jake was beside me then and wheeled Billy inside and I barely heard them greeting each other.

Finally I managed to pull back and look at her face. What I saw hurt me; her face was pale and drawn, even more so than usual. She looked thinner and her eyes were still too clouded with sadness for my liking. Thank God there was no zombie look, though. I brushed her hair out of her eyes and cleared my throat awkwardly.

"I'm so glad to see you," I said gruffly.

She smiled. "I'm glad to see you, too."

When I finally let her go, she went over to greet Billy and gave him a hug. She looked a little nervous and I realized she was worried about what Billy thought of her since Jake had followed her. Jake clapped me on the shoulder and I gave him a slight smile.

"You're still taking care of her, right?" I asked quietly.

"As best as I can," he said.

I nodded. "I'm grateful."

We moved into the apartment and the two of them showed us around. Bella made me put my keys away and explained about Jake's birthday present to her which was currently hiding behind the chair. I took a quick peek upstairs with Bella as Jake stayed in the living room with Billy. It was a nice place. We sat in the living room with a glass of soda provided by Bella as they told us about their jobs. Seeing them together threw things into a very clear perspective. I had always suspected strong feelings between, but it was clear Jacob was in love with my daughter. I had suspected it, but it was very obvious.

I recalled what Renee had told me when Bella and Edward visited her; that they gravitated towards each other, how one would turn and the other would move in sync. It had freaked her out and I found it strange as well. Yet I noticed in some ways it was like that with Jake and Bella. They were aware of each other without having to look. He would reach for her from behind and she would turn automatically and vice versa. It was like a root system. They were twined together mentally and emotionally and there was just a deep awareness of it. I wasn't sure how Bella felt, she was still too messed up, but I knew Jake's feelings because that was how I used to look at Renee.

We spent our morning and afternoon getting caught up, though I told Bella nothing of my searching for the Cullen's and Edward. I gave her a card that she opened along with Renee's – we had both given her money toward going to school when she was ready. She balked and said it was too much, but in the end she looked grateful and thanked which made me happy. We walked down to the pier and they showed us where they worked and then we went out to eat at a nice steakhouse.

As the four of us ate dinner together I was thrilled to be with my daughter and seeing her smile a little more, but I couldn't help worrying about how this would all turn out.

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AN: I seem to have a thing for Jake giving Bella a pet as a present. Haha

Anyway, I somehow managed to get this out before Christmas! Guess that early shopping paid off. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa… whatever you may celebrate! =)