Crumbling Armor
Chapter 10: Hard Conversations
A/N: Okay, by popular demand, I'm updating this story. I had hoped that I would have finished this before the new season starts but there was a long time there that I thought I'd never get around to updating it. But I finally did. I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and I'll be gone for two weeks so this will be the last update on this story for a while but I definitely haven't forgotten about it. So, I now proudly present to you (drum roll please) Chapter 10. I hope you enjoy!
Olivia awoke early that morning. In reality, it had only been about three hours since she had fallen asleep. She carefully extricated herself from Elliot's embrace and got out of bed. She padded over to the crib first.
She peered in and smiled. Sometime during the night Eli had kicked his blanket off. She picked up the baby blanket and covered him up again. She made sure that his tiny feet were securely tucked in before she headed into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day.
When she emerged from the bathroom, feeling significantly more warn out by the everyday activity than she thought she would be, Eli was awake, sitting up and staring at her.
Elliot was still sound asleep, now holding Olivia's pillow in his arms. Olivia didn't want to risk waking him so she picked up Eli and grabbed a fresh change of clothes from the bag Kathy had left for him. She quickly changed his diaper and his clothes then she carried him with her out to the kitchen.
As she prepared a bottle for him, she looked out into the living room where Eli's older brother and sisters were still asleep. She turned back to Eli who she had set upon the counter and was steadying with one of her hands. He was waving his arms wildly.
"What are you doing?" Olivia cooed. Her eyes followed Eli's wide eyed stare to where a plate of muffins sat on top of the microwave. She chuckled "I think you're a little too young to be eating those," she told the baby who only continued to wave his arms at the plate.
"I don't think so kiddo," Olivia laughed as she picked him up and sat down at the kitchen table "This is your breakfast today," she began feeding him.
"What about your breakfast?" Elliot asked as he came into the kitchen.
Olivia looked up and smiled "I was gonna take care of him first," she
"Were you planning on eating something this morning?" Elliot pushed, knowing that she would be annoyed but also knowing that she needed to eat.
"I need to get to the hospital and talk to Kathy," Olivia replied "I don't have time for breakfast."
"Liv…" Elliot began, sighing heavily. She was stubborn, sometimes too stubborn. He took a deep breath, scrubbing his hands over his face "We're all worried about you, you know."
"I appreciate your concern," Olivia said as she finished feeding Eli.
"Then eat something!" Elliot half shouted in frustration.
Olivia looked at him with wide eyes "I'll eat something later," she replied firmly. "I just don't feel that hungry right now."
"You never feel hungry," Elliot replied "It's hard enough to get you to eat so much as a few bites of food a day."
"I should get to the hospital," Olivia said quickly, standing up and passing Eli to Elliot.
Elliot stood up and blocked her way "I don't want you going alone," he said steadfastly. He'd rather not have her getting involved in this at all.
"I told you I was ready," she said, teetering on the brink of anger. the living room the twins and Kathleen were now awake and listening intently to the conversation.
"I don't think you are," Elliot said, still blocking her way "It's too soon, you haven't even recovered yet."
"I'm FINE!" she screamed in his face "I DON'T need YOU telling ME what I AM or AM NOT ready for!"
Eli began to cry but Elliot hadn't realized yet. He was too angry with Olivia right now "I'M just looking out FOR YOU!"
"I NEVER ASKED YOU TO!" Olivia screamed back.
"YOU didn't HAVE TO!" Elliot retorted "I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT!
"IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT!" Olivia finally realized that Eli was crying. She retreated to the kitchen table and sank heavily into the chair. She placed her head in her hands and began to cry as well.
Kathleen poked her head into the kitchen "Is everything alright?" she asked.
Elliot looked from his daughter to Kathleen "Here," he said, handing Eli to Kathleen "Could you take your brother please?"
Kathleen nodded and took the fussy baby with her into the living room.
Elliot pulled a chair up beside Olivia and wrapped his arm around her shoulders "It's okay Liv," he whispered.
Olivia sniffled and attempted to wipe her eyes "I… I'm sorry… Elliot… I just… I don't know what happened."
"You're alright," he soothed, rubbing her shoulder calmingly.
"I just…" she continued as a sob escaped her. She gasped "Please don't think…" she trailed off again "I… don't think I… blame you… Please…?"
Elliot took a deep breath. He wouldn't blame her if she did blame him. He blamed himself. "It's okay," he assured her.
She looked at him through a vale of tears "I love you," she whispered "You have to know that… what I… what I said back there… You have to know… Please… tell me you believe me… tell me you know that I don't blame you?"
"I know," he said quickly, trying to change the subject "How about some breakfast?"
Olivia took a shuttering breath "You were right," she whispered "I haven't had much of an appetite lately."
"I know," Elliot said gently, getting up and grabbing a couple of the muffins from the plate that Eli had been so interested in earlier. He handed them to Olivia "Can you at least try to eat breakfast, for me?"
Olivia nodded and tried to calm herself down enough that she could eat, but she was still crying. She took deep breath after deep breath and finally stopped crying.
Elliot sat with his arm draped protectively over her shoulders while she ate "Maybe you should stay here while I take the kids to see Kathy."
"No," Olivia said quickly, dropping the muffing in her hand "Please," she swallowed hard; she didn't want to be in her apartment by herself "I need to come with you."
Elliot looked into her eyes and saw something there, something he would categorize as fear. It was then that he remembered exactly how she had been attacked. He leaned in and wrapped both arms around her "Sure," he said quietly.
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Maureen met them at the hospital later that morning. Olivia had managed to compose herself. She still contended to Elliot that she could handle talking to Kathy alone. Kathy was her friend and Olivia felt a fierce need to get justice for her.
The group walked to the room the nurse had indicated to them. There were two men standing outside the door. Elliot and Olivia both stepped forward "What's going on here?" Olivia asked.
"Detectives Burnette and Keister," the men showed their badges.
"Keister," Elliot repeated, trying to hide the smile on his face.
Olivia turned and flashed him a warning glance "Why don't you take the kids inside to visit with Kathy. I'll wait out here," she offered.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
Olivia nodded "Go already," she smirked.
Elliot nodded and walked into the room with the kids.
"Have you got anything on the guy who did this?" Olivia asked after she had shown her badge to the other detectives.
"Not much so far," Burnette said, looking down at his notebook "The accelerant used was gasoline that he had siphoned from the victim's car," he read.
"Has she said anything to either of you?" Olivia asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she watched Kathy through the partially opened door of the room. She was lying in bed, holding Eli in her arms and smiling, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"She refuses to talk about it," Keister told her.
Elliot and the kids emerged from the room at that moment. Olivia turned to him and smiled weakly "How's she doing?" she asked.
"She's as good as can be expected," Elliot responded as he looked deep into Olivia's eyes, he knew what she was going to say next "I said I'd by lunch at the hospital cafeteria."
"You and the kids go ahead," Olivia said softly as she gave Elliot a quick hug "I'm gonna go talk to her for a couple minutes. I'll catch up."
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Elliot whispered worriedly in her ear as he held her.
"I'll be fine," she reassured him for the millionth time as she pulled away. She grinned "Besides if you don't get some food into Dickie soon, you'll have a one man riot on your hands."
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"Hi Kathy," Olivia said softly as she sat down beside Kathy's bedside "How are you feeling?"
"Better since I saw the kids," Kathy answered honestly with a hoarse sounding voice.
Olivia was quiet for a while. She cleared her throat nervously "It's like déjà vu, isn't it?" she shrugged lamely.
Kathy laughed a little bit "Yeah but with the rolls reversed," she added.
There was another long, awkward pause. Kathy was the one to break the silence this time "You didn't come here just to ask me how I'm doing and to shoot the breeze did you?"
"No," Olivia answered honestly.
"You heard all the details from Elliot," Kathy stated.
Olivia nodded.
"You've talked to the detectives investigating my case."
Olivia nodded yet again.
"You want me to tell you who did this."
"Yes," Olivia replied.
Kathy closed her eyes. "I can't talk about it. I can't tell those detectives out there and I can't tell you."
"Kathy please," Olivia said quietly "You need to tell me who did this."
"So he doesn't hurt someone else," Kathy sighed "Trust me, I've heard all the lines already."
"They aren't just lines," Olivia stated "He's still out there."
"If the kids had been home…" Kathy choked on her words.
"But they weren't," Olivia reminded her "They're all safe." She paused, taking a deep breath "Who was he?"
Kathy gripped her hand "Please, you can't tell Elliot?" she begged.
"Okay," Olivia said quietly. She didn't have to tell Elliot. The only thing that mattered was getting this guy off the streets.
"He was my boyfriend," Kathy admitted "I swear we never did anything but kiss."
"It's okay," Olivia assured her "I'm only gonna tell the arsine investigators.
"You can't let Elliot find out," Kathy pleaded "I don't want him to know that-"
"He won't find out that you had a boyfriend," Olivia promised.
"Not that," Kathy told her "I don't want him to know that I exposed the kids to such a violent man."
"The kids?" Olivia asked "They've met him?"
"They've met him, but they didn't know he was my boyfriend," Kathy explained.
"I won't tell him," Olivia promised. She couldn't promise that Elliot wouldn't find out some other way.
"Thank you," Kathy whispered in relief.
"What's his name?" Olivia asked again.
"Luke," Kathy spit out "Luke Jordan."
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"So when are you and Olivia gonna get married?" Lizzie teased as she popped a ketchup soaked French fry into her mouth.
"Elizabeth!" Maureen chastised "Don't ask questions like that."
"Thank you," Elliot said to his oldest daughter, still feeling the warmth in his cheeks from the question.
"Okay," Lizzie smirked, turning on her sister "When are you marrying Aiden?"
It was Maureen's turn to blush.
"Not until she's thirty-five," Elliot said loudly.
"Dad!" Maureen's already red cheeks turned even redder.
"What's going on over here?" Olivia asked, walking over to the group and sitting down beside Elliot.
"Lizzie wants to know when all the weddings are gonna be," Dickie mumbled through a mouth full of his cheeseburger.
"Oh," Olivia said brightly "Whose getting married?"
"Trust me," Elliot spoke up "You don't want to know." He looked over at Olivia and saw that she had a full tray with a salad and two deserts along with a cup of coffee. He leaned in close to her "Are you gonna eat all that?" he asked with a smile.
"I'm gonna try," Olivia smiled back at him, through a mouth full of lettuce.
Later, when they had finished their meal and were walking back to the car, Elliot, who was carrying Eli, lagged behind the other kids so he could talk to Olivia "How did your talk with Kathy go?" he asked.
Olivia looked down the hallway as she walked ahead "It went well," she told him "Detective Burnette and Detective Keister are on their way to pick the guy up now."
"Who was it?" Elliot asked.
Olivia gulped, she didn't want to lie to Elliot but she had promised that Elliot wouldn't find out from her "I don't remember his name," she said lamely and walked ahead.
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That night, the living room was more lively than it had been a night before. Seeing that their mother was alright had done wonders for the kids. Maureen had gone back to stay with Aiden. Kathleen and the twins were very animated in their conversations with Elliot and Olivia and Dickie ate several of the goodies that his mother had baked for Olivia.
"Kathy will be getting out of the hospital tomorrow," Elliot stated.
"Yeah," Olivia nodded. Kathy would have no place to go "I think I'm gonna offer her the couch bed."
Elliot's jaw almost hit the floor "Won't that… be… awkward for you?" he asked. It would be even more awkward for him but he didn't want Olivia to know that.
"No," Olivia said, though she knew it would be awkward, it was the right thing to do "She won't be in any condition to take care of Eli by herself and this way she can still be around the kids. It'll just be a little crowded for a while."
Elliot nodded "Yeah," he wasn't exactly sure that this was the best solution but it seemed that the more people who were around, the safer and happier Olivia seemed to be. So he wasn't about to say no.
Olivia took a big bite out of the brownie that had been sitting on the plate on her lap. Just as she had finished chewing it, the phone rang. She reached over without hesitation and answered it "Hello?"
"Detective Benson, it's Detective Burnette," the voice on the other end stated "We went to pick up Luke Jordan but…" he trailed off.
"But what?" Olivia asked, not caring that Elliot and the kids were all looking at her. The earlier lively chat was now silenced.
"He wasn't there," Detective Burnette finished "We've got everyone in the department looking for him but so far no luck. Detective Keister and I are at the hospital now. We're gonna keep an eye on Mrs. Stabler until this guy's been arrested.
"Okay," Olivia said softly "Thanks for letting me know."
"Have a pleasant evening," Detective Burnette said as he hung up.
"You… too," Olivia said but the line had clicked off in the middle of her sentence.
"Liv…?" Elliot questioned, raising one of his eyebrows at her "Who was that…?"
"I'll tell you later," she said, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes for a brief moment. She opened them again "Who wants to play Twister?"