You guys I'm so sorry. I know that there's no way anybody is interested in this story anymore. And what a short and shitty chapter it is. It's the worst filler chapter of all fucking time I'm sorry. I just couldn't let this go an entire year without being updated. I promise I'll try and find my motivation to finish this story. But for now I'm sorry about this chapter. If you can even call it that.

"O look, look in the mirror. O look in your distress. - W.H. Auden.

Bella wakes without the taste of Rosalie's mouth.

. . .

Alice is watching her, on edge, full of concern.

"Bella why won't you talk to me?"

And oh god oh god, it hurts so much to look at Alice. Her eyes remind Bella of things she can't have.

It's like wanting something that's not even there.

"I think I need to go see Jacob."

"Bella… please."

"S-sorry."

. . .

"So, what happened?"

Bella shifts, watching his eyelashes flutter, his chest breathe in. Humans are so… interesting. "I had a dream," she murmurs. "About Rosalie."

He's confused. "Is that out of the ordinary?"

Bella blushes, feeling like she's three all over again. "No, but this felt so real. I thought it was real. I wanted it to be."

Jacob regards her softly. Slowly, a mischievous smirk takes over. "It was a sex dream, wasn't it?"

Bella blushes something fierce. "God! Jesus, okay yes it was." She's cut off by his boisterous laughter. "It doesn't mean I don't feel like I objectified her."

He rolls his eyes. "You weren't Bella."

"Well how do you know?"

"Just because." He pauses, considering something. "You know wet dreams are bound to happen at some point in time, right?"

"How am I supposed to look at her without thinking about my dream, Jake? Without imagining how her moans sound…" She trails of.

Jacob looks at her with a smear of plain disgust across his face. "Ew, Bella. Who knew you were so kinky?"

Bella flushes a bright red. "Sorry."

…

She hears Charlie outside of her door. "Um… Bella, can I come in?"

"Yeah, of course."

He looks nervous, fidgeting with his hands. "So, Bella, it turns out I have a meeting in Seattle this weekend…"

She deflates. This weekend they were supposed to have game night.

"Bella I'm really sorry. If there was anyway I didn't have to go-"

"I know Dad, it's okay," Bella smiles ruefully. "I know you have to go and save the world."

"Thank you for understanding."

"Always."