Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. I only own my OC, John Smith

I am a coward.

I know that. I'm not really ashamed, actually. My cowardice has allowed me to survive on numerous occasions. Running away from danger can be quite effective, at times. When other macho idiots, like Bird Brain, puff up their chests and square up in the face of the enemy, I hide and run and plot and deceive.

Hey, each to his ways. I'm not proud, but I'm still alive, right?

I've survived, so far, by not asking for more trouble than I can handle.

Zandia definitely fits into the 'more-trouble-then-I-can-handle' category.

I paced the Tower's ops room, the Titans' worried eyes following me, up and down the room.

Zandia. Zandia. Zandiazandiazandia…Damn!

"I don't understand." chirped Starfire. "Why does friend Wraith seem so worried? I believe that the answer to our problems is obvious."

"Like hell." I mumbled, low enough for her not to hear me.

"We should go to this Zandia and kick the butt!" finished Starfire with a grin like a five-year-old, discovering one of the truths of life.

"No!" I half-growled, half-snapped. "Let's get this straight. We do not. Go. To Zandia."

"But…"

"NO!"

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. How to explain this...?

"Zandia…" I began "is not…safe."

Robin crossed his arms and snorted.

"The Titans don't go for 'safe'." he said. "You should know this by now, Smith."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Boy Blunder." I growled in response, my voice dripping with irony.

Robin scowled. "What are you implying?"

"When was the last time you faced off against a competent villain who wanted you dead, Robin?" I sneered. "Do tell…"

Robin adopted a puzzled expression. "Why, just this morning we faced…"

"Mad Mod." I cackled mirthlessly. "God, are you listening to yourself? Mad Mod does not want you dead. He wants you hypnotized, serving his megalomaniac fantasies. And I would definitely not call him competent. Adonis? Dr. Light? Control Freak? Don't make me laugh!"

"Slade…?" mumbled Beast Boy and shrank under Robin's glare.

"Ah…" I grinned. "Slade is different. He was competent, all right. But he never aimed to kill you. He was after Robin, wasn't he? Tried to make you his apprentice?"

Robin scowled but nodded.

"Good." I sat down and sighed. "Let's get back to Zandia. It's an island, near Sicily. I know it. I've been there. It's a villain safe haven. Almost half the population are villains; hiding, recruiting, plotting…It's not a place for heroes."

"We've faced overwhelming odds before…" Robin protested.

"Yeah, against a group of crazed megalomaniacs who wanted to capture you alive, in order to freeze you solid and add you to a collection." I snorted. "The villains in Zandia are not like that, Robin. They will not aim to humiliate you, or capture you alive, or taunt you, or…Look,they'll go straight for the kill, understand?" My voice was bordering on hysteria. "They will blast you to pieces, before you can reach, let alone use, your bird-a-rangs."

Cyborg opened his mouth, but I raised a hand.

"Don't interrupt me." I met the eyes of the Titans, one by one and held them until they looked away. Only Raven glared back. "You have no idea what you're getting yourselves into. I…" I cleared my throat "…when I was twelve years old, Jason took us all to Zandia for…a holiday. There was a superhero there, hunting down a fugitive villain. He was a cool guy, the superhero was. Pyrokinetic powers, if I remember correctly. He challenged the villain in public. Brave idiot…"

The Titans were listening, their eyes wide, looking mesmerized.

"Every supervillain in a three-hundred-foot radius kicked in to help. The hero was vaporized.I mean it. They didn't even find his teeth." I shuddered. "There was no warning. Nothing. One second the hero was there, saying something along the lines of 'You're under arrest', and the next he was a pile of smoking ash. A very small pile."

Beast Boy was shaking slightly. Starfire looked appalled. Cyborg's face was as pale as it could get, and Robin was scowling. Raven's face…was expressionless. Blank.

"I am not going to Zandia." I finished, softly, more to myself than to the Titans. "Never."

"Yeah…?" Robin tried to sneer, but it didn't work. He was shaken. "Seems to me like you are afraid, Smith."

If my eyes could shoot daggers, he would've been nailed to his chair.

"I. Am. Scared. Shitless." I growled. "And I'm not ashamed for it. Don't try reverse psychology on me, Bird Brain, or I'll show you what 'fear' really is."

Robin rose, his chair falling over with a clatter of metal-on-metal. He was getting mad and careless. He had gotten used to me wearing SHROUD and he had forgotten that, without it, I was far from powerless.

"I'll…" he growled, cocking a fist.

I leaned over the table, darkness forming around me like a cloak. The temperature of the room fell abruptly, to sub-zero levels. My eyes lit up with a sickly green light, burning with rage and hatred.

Smith was back.And he wasn't going to take this. Nosiree.

"You'll what?" I growled and my voice would've sent Slade running for cover. "Hmmm?"

I saw cold sweat running down Robin's forehead. Some part of me reluctantly gave the boy credit: he was brave. He was trying to convince himself that this was all an Illusion, that it wasn't real, that he wasn't afraid, that he could reach into his utility belt anytime and pull out a gadget that would blow this terrifying apparition away.

No such luck. If it looks like a demon and sounds like a demon and feels like a demon…Guess what, Bird Brain: It IS a demon!

A propos demon.

A cold hand grabbed mine. I didn't move a muscle, my eyes fixed on Robin.

Raven.

"Don't." She sounded afraid.

I tore my eyes off Robin and met her gaze. She flinched slightly at the fury inside my eyes, but then recovered beautifully. Once more, her face became an expressionless mask.

I let the Illusions fade and sat heavily back on my chair with a sigh. My eyes returned to Robin.

"That is fear." I sneered half-heartedly. "That is how I feel."

Silence.

"Is there nothing we can do?" Raven asked softly.

"Yes." I said. "Call the JLA, or something. Let them clean this mess up. They've got experience. They'll be all right. Maybe."

Her hand tightened on mine. I looked up into her eyes and met a familiar steely glint.

"It's our fight." she said.

Oh, shit.

I bowed my head in shame, recognizing my own words. It was maybe the first time in my life that I was ashamed of my cowardice. Up till now, I had considered it a bonus, a safety valve, something that would keep me out of harm's way. Up till now…

"There's a way." I said, my voice raspy and hoarse. "But you won't like it. None of you will."

"Spit it out." Cyborg was annoyed. I couldn't really blame him.

"Wraith…is a superhero." I said. "But Smith…is a villain. One of the meanest around. I've got a nice reputation, now that I've taken out Slade."

"Villains would accept you, because you've taken out one of them?" asked Cyborg.

"Yes." I answered. "It's a competitive world, out there. One of the best ways to get some respect in the supervillain underground is to find a known baddy and beat him up. It proves you're tough."

"So, you might be able to go to Zandia as John Smith, but not as Wraith." nodded Cyborg. "I see."

"You don't." I replied with a sigh. "There are…loose ends. Think about it. What do the villains know? That a guy named John Smith was after Slade. That Slade ended up in jail, paralyzed. And then, the John Smith guy disappears for almost a year. Where did he go? Why didn't he step up in Slade's place and take over Jump City? See what I mean? If I show up in Zandia, they are bound to ask me these questions. They'll be suspicious. Especially if I show up as part of a team."

"So…?" Beast Boy scratched his head. "Dude, this strategic thinking is too much for me."

I sighed. Here goes.

"If I'm going to get you into Zandia, you must pose as villains. Can you do it?"

"Yes." Robin snapped. He seemed to have recovered from the scare I gave him and I scowled.

"Really?" I sneered. "Can you think like villains?"

The Titans looked baffled.

"Let me explain." I grinned evilly. "Robin, just imagine for a moment that somebody tries to flirt with Starfire. What would you do?"

"Uuhhhh…" Bird Brain blushed.

"Right." I sighed. "A villain would not hesitate for a single moment. He'd get a knife, or similar, and carve his name and address on the guy's face. Get it?"

"Hey!" Beast Boy protested. "You can't expect us to…"

"Yes." I snapped. "I do. I'm not asking you to enjoy it, but if you don't act like villains, you might blow our cover. And if you blow our cover in Zandia, you will never know you screwed up. We'll all be dead too fast for us to notice."

There was a general sullenness.

"And one more thing. While we are in Zandia, my word is law. Do you get it? Law." I spat that last word out. "Oh, sit down Robin. I'm not after your leadership. If the shit hits the fan and we have to fight, you can take over. But no-one would believe that John Smith, the one who defeated Slade, is not the leader of his team."

Raven held up her hand and stopped Robin's protests. "What must we do?" she asked me.

"First things first. We won't all travel together. Six teenager villains? It would be very suspicious. Starfire, you'll fly to outer space and descend to Zandia. We'll dress you up as a Tamaranian villain, or something. You have an evil sister, right? We'll dye your hair and you'll put on that armor you have and it might just work. Robin, you'll need a new suit and haircut and you'll be fine. Most teams have a martial arts master anyway. Cyborg, I have no idea how we're going to smuggle you through. Any ideas?"

"Sure." the colossus answered. "I'll use my holo-rings. I'll re-program the hologram. It should work."

"Whatever." I shrugged. "Beast Boy, you will turn into a bug, or a flea and hide in somebody's hair –Robin's if possible." My grin was pure evil glee.

"Dude…!" Beast Boy whined, meeting his fearless leader's gaze. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." I said.

Silence.

"What about me?" Raven asked.

"Ah. Yes." I twiddled my thumbs, nervously. "You won't like this."

"Spit it out!" she growled.

"Right." I sighed. "We have to bind your powers. They are…unique. If they act up, our cover will be blown." I met her eyes. "You'll need to wear psychic dampeners."

Silence.

"No."

"I'm sorry. There's no other way…"

"No."

"Listen…"

"Cast a Conviction on me." she pleaded. "Please. No dampeners."

"You know I can't hold a Conviction for more than a couple of hours, Raven." I softly pointed out. "And then I'm exhausted and useless. You know it wouldn't work…"

"But…"

I knew what was worrying her. Psychic dampeners did not work like my Convictions. They were considerably more…dangerous.

Magic power resembles a water hose. While my Convictions cut off the 'water' completely, a dampener worked very much like somebody stepping on the hose. For a short while, there was no 'water' pouring out. Fine. But the latent and unusable power would build up, the pressure would increase until…

Well. Two things were liable to explode. It would be either the dampener or the spellcaster.

A spellcaster like Raven could probably wear a dampener for a couple of days before the pressure would become too great. Then…

"Listen." I could see that she was getting panicky. "Every night, I'm going to cast a Conviction on you. Then, you're going to take off the dampeners and let off steam, slowly. It should work. I think."

She sighed, defeated.

"Fine. That settles it then." she monotoned.

"No, it doesn't" I said, dreading this next bit. "We still haven't addressed the issue of your place in the team."

She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Robin is our martial arts master. Starfire will be 'muscle', once we meet her in Zandia. Cyborg is obviously our hacker. What are you going to be? You'll have no powers, and you're no good in hand-to-hand combat, as we both know."

"What do you have in mind?" she asked, suspicious.

"Well…" I gulped. "Certain things are expected from top villains. Certain…eccentricities, if you like. Vices. It's usually drugs, alcohol or women…"

Oh. Shit. She's got it and she's glaring already. I am SO dead.

"Yeah, well…" I bowed my head in shame. "Drugs are out of the question, of course. And alcohol…I get drunk very easily. And we can't afford for anyone to get drunk…Which means…"

Silence.

Raven's eyes reminded me of those of a cobra. There was a murderous intent in there that made me shudder.

"When this is over," she hissed like a snake, "I will so kill you."

A/N: Last Update before Xmas!

Ghostalker: Yep. It's the worst thing that can happen to a hero.
I could give you another hint. But if I do, you might guess who the villain is before the time is right. Do you want me to? It'll spoil the suspense, I think…

Xaleria:X and JS are quite alike. Cynical. Anti-heroic. Each of them with his own twisted code of rules (f.ex. No Killing.). It's no surprise that they get on each other's nerves; but there is still some sort of grudging respect for each other.
Nope. YOU might know who The Lord is, but JS has never met him.

VV: Course I'm happy. Is there anything more satisfying for a writer than to have his readers stumped?
(evil grin – Hannibal style)

Spystory 007: Hey:-) I'm glad you like it.
Do NOT call The Lord a 'scumbag'. That implies a certain…I don't know. 'Gangstery-ness'. 'Scruffy-ness'.
Think 'cat'. Sleek. Smart. Deadly. Likes to play with its food. ;-)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

-Phaethon, out.
(leaves to buy a Xmas tree.)