I am not dead...

I am not even unconscious.

My body rests here limp and lifeless upon this hospital like bed in the Titans' infirmary wing.

I can view everything and also hear everything but my body will not let me respond as if I am comatose.

Something terribly wrong has happened...

I can feel it.

The way at which they stare at me with so much disgust, discomfort, and confusion

Proves my point that something bad happened and that I may have caused it.

I should not be surprised at this for it seems that bad luck is good friend of mine.

After all,

I caused my mother death

My stupidity caused me to become this inhumane being

My powers caused me to be taken under the wing of my evil father

My ill managed temper caused the awakening of my darker side

My inability to follow direct orders caused me to be disowned by my father

And lastly,

My lack of control may have caused something that is truly unforgivable.

Whatever may have happened to my other shadow; the good one?

I hear it.

That sickening internal snicker of her.

I should not be this careless to think such things that coax tend to coax her out of the depths of my long lost mind.

I will not allow her to take over again.

I shall repress this demon back in to her hell so she can not enter mine.

But like everything that involves control

I tend to fail at miserably.

She is there.

Physically within in my 180ยบ view standing at the end of my bed.

That ever present grin burning deep into my skin.

No one else can see her.

She cocks her head to the side and taunts me.

"I truly do not understand as to why you dislike me so. After all I am you."

If I could move I would slap her.

She senses this through the bond at which we share.

"No need to become violent Sage. I only wish to help you."

Help?

When has this...thing ever helped me?

She is offended for the bond that at which we share is reversible.

"When have I not helped you Sage! For without me you are only a passive whore whom allows herself to be used!"

I know that she is trying to provoke me.

And I believe she is succeeding.

Her grin widens as she realizes this.

She crawls onto the bed and begins to crawl until

She is face to face with me.

I can hear my heart rate increase and my body jolt as she leans her face close to mine.

She says in that inappropriate child like voice of mine.

"You pondered where you other shadow is... I could tell that she is fine, but you know me better than that Sage."

What is she planing? I try my hardest to regain control of my limbs.

Just to satisfy that urge to cause harm to her.

She is infuriated with this.

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK TO HARM ME!"

Her hands move to my throat and push down.

My heart monitor is beeping rapidly.

Beast Boy and Starfire awaken at this and rush urgently to my side.

The panic is clear upon their faces.

Her screams penetrate my thoughts.

"DO YOU HEAR ME! DO NOT EVER THINK THAT YOU CAN HURT ME!"

I can harm her.

As I am doing so now.

That is her weakness.

That face.

Her features outlined in silver.

It is clear she is displeased at this.

But alas there are three reason as to why I can not harm her.

She will haunt my reality spurring them into nightmares which I admit are a main cause for my current madness.

I am not allowed to.

But mostly I do not wish to harm her...

I wish to kill her.

Her anger grows.

She pushes harder choking me.

I struggle to fight.

But this catatonic state does not allow such privileges.

She senses this too and if possible grins so much that it is disturbing.

She leans down to whisper in my ear.

"Why do you not understand? You can never win this fight for there is no fight due to the fact that I have already won."

My heart monitor stops.

She is satisfied and leaves.

I am awoken.

Gasping for air.

Coughing up blood.

The eyes of five

Burn into me.