Chapter 10: Catching Waves

My shoulder was shaken gently and I pulled myself out of sleep. Still drowsy, I didn't open my eyes more than a crack and immediately closed them again, intending on falling back to sleep.

'Duo,' Heero said softly, moving his hand gently over my shoulder. He wouldn't let me fall asleep again.

The headache had receded from the sharp pain it had been previously. Now it was little more than a dull throb and I hoped the pain wouldn't explode when I opened my eyes fully. It didn't.

'Duo,' was said again, a little louder, and I turned to see Heero's gentle smile.

'Hey,' I whispered and he smiled down at me with warm eyes.

'Hey, how do you feel?'

'Better,' I said, but I was still more tired than I should have been. 'Tired.'

'It's to be expected,' he said and moved his fingers to my hair, pressing softly against my head.

''s nice,' I said, encouraging him to continue. He made a soft, amused noise and kept moving his fingers languidly.

'Hey, 'Ro, what happened?' I asked and his fingers hesitated for a moment before they started moving again.

'You fell,' he said slowly and I frowned. Why tell me things I'd been there for?

'I remember that. What about the results?'

Heero let out a soft sigh and closed his eyes partially. He looked relived.

'You got 7.58 for the one wave you caught. Broden got an eight though, so even though he got interference, he beat you.'

'Yeah, he's good,' I said. I'd known him ever since Solo and I had gotten into the world of Pro surfing and I'd always been impressed by his moves. 'Who won?'

'Broden.'

'Way to go,' I said loudly, but closed my eyes with a groan as it made the pain in my head flare up.

'Go back to sleep, Duo. I'll wake you up later.'

'Why are you being so nice?' I asked and his fingers stopped again. He chuckled softly, sending vibrations through the mattress.

'I'm not always an asshole,' he answered and I nodded. 'You had me worried.'

'S'ry,' I said, feeling myself drift towards sleep again. Heero sighed and continued the massage of my scalp, and I quickly feel back to sleep.

The next time I woke up, I was alone in the room. Or I thought I was, until I became aware of a warmth across my abdomen that was too heavy to be the blanket. I opened my eyes to peek down and saw Zero lying on the bed with his head on my stomach.

'Hey, boy,' I said and moved my hand to scratch behind his ear. He lifted his head and turned it slightly to lick at my hand before he stood up and got off the bed, walking out of the room, making me raise an eyebrow and shake my head carefully. He never left when I scratched him unless Heero whistled. I hadn't heard a whistle.

My head felt heavy and stuffed, but I was sick of sleeping so I put my legs over the side of the bed, and had to steady myself as spots flew across my vision. Distantly, I felt someone grab a hold of my arm.

When the spots had disappeared Heero materialized in front of me.

'Sorry, I'm still a bit dizzy, I guess,' I said with an embarrassed smile. I wasn't used to feeling this off. Especially not in front of someone I was deeply interested in. Someone I was falling head over heels for.

'What are you doing up?'

'Got bored of sleeping. What time is it?' I asked and picked up my trunks that were still a bit damp, which told me it couldn't have been that many hours since we'd gotten back. 'Do you know where my backpack is by the way?'

'Just after seven. We've got some dinner ready, would you like anything?' He said as he bent down in the corner and picked up my backpack.

'Maybe something light,' I answered, not having felt nauseous since the ride in the truck, but I didn't feel up to challenging myself with a lot of food.

Heero handed me my backpack from which I dug out a pair of underwear and my set of shorts, making Heero raise an eyebrow.

'You seem to have everything in there,' he said in amusement and I smiled, not wishing to tell him exactly how right he was.

'I've found it practical to have some things around at all times,' I answered as I shimmied into my clothes.

Everything went a lot slower than usually, making me feel sluggish but Heero didn't say a word about it. He waited patiently until I'd gotten into my clothes and then walked next to me. Closely. Probably ready to catch me if I got dizzy again, and I felt warmth spread through my chest.

'Thanks, 'Ro,' I said silently to him.

'You're very welcome,' he answered and then we walked out onto the deck where the rest of the guys were sitting.

Quatre flew up quick enough to make me think I'd lost a second somewhere, and he pulled out one more chair for me. I sat down, relieved to be off my somewhat unsteady feet.

'How are you?' Quatre asked silently and I grinned for him.

'A lot better. Did anyone catch the wave that hit me?' I asked and saw a round of rolled eyes on everyone. Only Trowa laughed for me, so I gave him a wide smile.

'Dig in,' Quatre said and I put a scoop of noodles onto the plate Heero had fetched for me. He'd also gotten me a glass of water and a Tylenol, which I gratefully swallowed.

With the first bite of noodles, I felt them about to turn around in my stomach and I leaned back in the chair with the glass of water in my hand. Obviously it was too soon for me to attempt to eat anything.

Zero came out to join us, and I thought he was going to beg for food, but he just lay down on top of my feet. I realized how cold they had been as the warmth of his fur covered them.

It was nice, having dinner with a group of people again, even though I wasn't actually eating anything. I listened to their easy conversation that spoke of how long they'd all known each other. Normally, I would have entered the conversation with vigor, but still feeling a bit lethargic, I just threw in the occasional comment. The sun had started to set, but as always on the island, it was still warm.

'Duo?'

I snapped my eyes open, feeling disoriented for a second, before remembering I was in one of the sun-chairs on the deck. The table had been cleared already and I frowned, surprised that I hadn't woken up by the noise. Surprised that I'd fallen asleep at all.

'Shit,' I murmured, and brought my hand to my forehead where I felt the coarse texture of the compress that had been applied over the gash I'd gotten. 'Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you guys.'

'It's all right,' Heero just said, putting a hand on my knee. Zero had already placed his head on my other knee and was watching me attentively. 'Do you want to go back to bed?'

'I…' I didn't really want to, I was sick of sleeping, but my head was still feeling heavy, and my eyes kept wanting to fall closed. I sighed 'Yeah.'

Heero put his hand under my elbow and I felt like an old man as I slowly got up and we made our way to Heero's bed.

'I'll have to get a larger bed if you're going to keep sleeping here,' Heero said lightly as he crawled in next to me, but I was unsure if he was joking or not.

'Sorry,' I said, just in case, and he leaned up on his elbow, looking into my eyes.

'I wouldn't mind,' he said, and a small smirk appeared on his face. 'I like having you in my bed.'

I was very pleased at hearing that, and chuckled softly.

'I like being here,' I said and raised my head a bit to capture his lips in a kiss. He put his free hand behind my head and deepened the kiss for a second before he drew back and lay his head down on the pillow next to me.

I turned to him, putting my left leg over his, and wrapped my arm around his waist. He snaked his own arm under my neck and put his other hand over my arm, brushing it slowly with his thumb.

'Hey, 'Ro. What… are we doing?' I asked, finally dredging up the courage to start the talk I'd wanted to have since the morning.

'What do you mean?'

'This. Are we… I don't know… boyfriends?'

'Do you want to be?'

He looked me straight in the eyes and I tried to find any sign of what he wanted.

'I don't know? Yeah? I guess…'

'That sounds convincing,' he said in a droll voice.

'Shit! Yes, damn it,' I said and buried my head against his shoulder, but was forced to look at him when he moved his hand and lifted my chin up slightly.

'I'll be your boyfriend, Duo, if you'll have me,' he said, looking me straight in the eyes. The sincerity in his voice made me shiver and I nodded.

'Yeah,' I said under my breath, and he leaned in to kiss me again. It was soft, and slow. I felt other parts of me awaken and I pressed closer to him. He smiled but caught my hand as I traced it downwards on his abdomen. I could feel him against my leg, so I knew he was excited as well, and I was confused.

'You have a concussion,' he explained in amusement. 'No strenuous activities.'

'I'll kill Broden next time I meet him,' I muttered, burying my head against Heero's shoulder.

'Now you're mad with him?' he asked with a chuckle and I laughed a bit as well. Carefully, so I wouldn't aggravate my throbbing head.

'Didn't have a reason to be before.'

'Right,' he said, not entirely convinced.

It was just as well that we didn't do anything as my eyes soon fell closed and I was sleeping.

When I woke up, we had rolled away from each other, and there was a thin sheen of sweat over both our bodies from the heat. My head was feeling considerably better, and I watched my boyfriend sleep for a while. My boyfriend. I rolled the thought over in my mind; liking the elated feeling I got from it.

His chest lifted up and down slowly with every breath and I was transfixed by the way the sweat glistened on his skin. His lips were slightly parted, his face looking entirely relaxed, making him look younger. No, not younger; making him look his age.

When I'd first met him, I thought his face was carved in stone. I had thought he was unable to smile or laugh, but I'd been proved wrong, and I'd fallen in love with the sound of his laughter, and the way his lips curled into a small smile. I'd fallen in love with him just as swiftly as I'd fallen in love with the ocean.

Dangerous.

It was dangerous. It was scary, and it was thrilling. To grow attached to someone new hadn't been in my plan. It had been as far from being in my plan as possible. I'd meant to surf on my own, practice on my own, until I could finally live the dream that Solo and I had both had of surfing the Rift.

I leaned over Heero and turned on the screen on his cell phone. The glaring brightness from the screen made my eyes water as I read that the clock wasn't even four in the morning. There was no use going back to sleep, so I slid down to the foot of the bed and got out silently.

Claws scratched against the floor as Zero stood up from where he'd been lying. I put my hand on his head and we went out to the deck. I moved one of the chairs a bit to look out over the ocean and sat down, Zero curling up next to me.

It was dark, so I couldn't see the water as more than a dark outline, but I could hear it as the waves broke and the water rushed onto the beach before being pulled back to form a new wave.

Like Heero had reminded me the previous night, it wasn't recommended to do any strenuous activities so soon after having suffered a concussion so I stayed away from getting my board and testing the waters. I didn't think I'd win any points with Heero if I did that anyways.

The soft sound of bare feet walking towards me came to my ears and I turned around to see Heero.

'I didn't mean to wake you up,' I said silently, afraid of waking anyone else.

'It's fine. How are you?' he asked and lifted up a chair of his own and placed it next to me.

'I'm good. The headache's gone and I actually feel like I might survive,' I said and we both chuckled a bit.

'What happened out there?' he asked and I frowned. He'd seen it all. 'You let a lot of nice waves go,' he clarified.

'Broden was paddling for them.'

'But you had priority,' he said, sounding confused, and I sighed.

'Do you… know about Solo?'

'Sally gave me the magazine, but I haven't read it,' he answered slowly, almost cautiously, as though uncertain of how I'd react.

'I took a wave that I had priority on. It was the last seconds of the heat and I was below him in points.'

Zero whimpered slightly and got to his feet, putting his head in my lap, making me laugh.

'You sure this dog doesn't understand human speech?'

'Just emotions,' Heero answered and put his hand atop of mine. I spread my fingers and he intertwined his fingers with mine.

'I called out for him, and he looked over his shoulder at me. He winked at me. He was my best friend, we've surfed the same wave on numerous occasions. We've always known where the other is going…' I tapered off and took a deep breath as my eyes were stinging with unshed tears.

Boys don't cry.

Heero squeezed my hand under his, and got to his feet. I tilted my head slightly and looked at him in confusion as he bent down next to me, grabbed me under my knees and behind my back, and lifted me up. I laughed and wrapped my arm around his neck as he sat down in his chair with me in his lap.

He kept his arm around my back where it had been and placed his other arm around my waist. I leaned against his chest, and slid down slightly over his legs until I could put my head on his shoulder. It was lucky the chair didn't have armrests, or it could have been a very uncomfortable position.

'That's better,' he said and tilted his head a bit to kiss me on the forehead.

'I'll get addicted to using your chest as a pillow,' I said, listening to the steady beat of his heart under my ear, feeling my head rise up and down in time with his breathing.

'As long as it's mine,' he said and I laughed.

'I did say yours, didn't I?' I said and we grew silent for a while. He was gently stroking his hand along my back and I brushed my lips over his chest in a kiss.

'I messed up on the wave. I got too high and too much air got under my board, dropping me in the water and my board shot ahead. When I got up, I didn't see Solo anywhere, and the jet-skis were already coming towards us.'

I shivered, remembering the horror I'd felt when I'd seen the jet skis. They definitely weren't coming for me, and I'd immediately taken off the leash to my board and started diving, looking for Solo along the reef.

'I couldn't find him anywhere. It was minutes before I saw his board, stuck against the reef, and I thought… I hoped…'

Heero's arm tightened around me.

'I followed the leash on his board to find that it trailed in under the reef. I tried to dive under, but the backwash tried to suck me in. It's when I got the scar.' Heero moved his hand to trace the scar over my waist. 'All I could to was to pull at the cord.'

Heero took a sharp breath but didn't say anything.

I stared unseeingly out over the ocean. 'He was already dead.' That prickly feeling behind my eyes refused to go away and I blinked.

Solo's eyes had been wide open when I'd gotten him out. I'd taken him to the surface where the guys on one of the jet-skis took him from me, and I'd been helped up onto the other.

'I'm so sorry,' Heero said softly, holding me tightly, and I took a deep breath.

'Shit, I shouldn't be pouring all this on you,' I said and lifted myself up a bit, but he pulled me down.

'I asked. I knew he'd died, I just didn't…' He tapered off and took a deep breath. 'But Duo, it wasn't your fault.'

'I should have broken out when I saw he wasn't leaving. Damn it, some points and priority aren't worth killing someone over.'

'No,' he agreed. 'But he was a good surfer, right?'

I nodded against his chest.

'Then he knew it was dangerous to stay behind. He made his own choice.'

'He trusted me, though,' I said, not ready to give up the blame I'd placed on myself ever since his death. He'd trusted me to be able to handle being on the same wave as him. We'd done it so many times before.

'Duo, please don't take this the wrong way,' Heero started and a sudden chill spread through my veins. What the hell was I doing? Spilling my dark past to a guy I barely knew, even if we obviously were very attracted to each other. I really wanted to get to know him better, but now I was scaring him away with my less than attractive baggage.

I lifted myself up away from his chest and he let me go this time, but put his hands on my legs, to keep me on his lap. I tried to search his face for any indication of what he wanted to say. His face was drawn, his brows slightly furrowed, making him look sad.

'You need to let it go,' he said, and I stared at him. He didn't turn his eyes away, and neither did I. 'You hurt yourself out there today because of a memory. No matter what happened, I'm sure Solo wouldn't condone that.'

'He wouldn't move,' I said to defend myself.

'He did move,' Heero answered and I frowned. 'A split second after you, he turned out.'

'Shit,' I said, as the realization settled in my mind. I hadn't needed to veer and get hit by the wave. And yet, in the back of my mind, I had the feeling that I deserved it. I deserved anything I got after what I'd done against Solo.

'My board hit him in the head, that's what made him fall,' I said, and when I heard my own words, I realized I had said it like a challenge. Tell me to let it go now, asshole. His face twisted, almost as though he was in pain, and he pulled me back against his chest.

'Gods, Duo,' he said, gently brushing kisses over my forehead, and I didn't know what to feel.

Anger? Maybe, but mostly with myself.

Regret? Yes, but I couldn't change anything. I couldn't not veer away with Broden, just as little as I could veer away with Solo. It was over and done with.

Love? Most definitely, but I was scared.

Maybe that summed it up. I was scared. Scared of killing anyone else. Scared of pushing Heero away. Scared of letting him get too close.

'I'm really sorry, 'Ro. I'm not usually an emotional wreck,' I said after a moment, and Heero sighed.

'Duo, you don't have to...' he tapered off and I frowned, pushing off of his chest again.

'Stop doing that.'

'Doing what?'

'Starting to say something and then just – don't.'

He smiled.

'You don't have to explain yourself. You don't have to hide from me; I want to hear it. I want to know everything about you, even the darker parts. If it makes you an emotional wreck to talk about Solo, that's fine, as long as I get to be here to hold you.' He held my eyes fast with his own before he gave a slightly embarrassed smile.

I was stunned at the flow of words, of reassurances. But mostly, I was stunned at the fact that he wanted to get to know me. That he wasn't only interested in my body, although we definitely had an undeniable attraction to each other, it was a huge relief to know that there could be more to our relationship that that.

'Me too,' I said finally, when he'd started to look a bit worried. 'I want to know everything about you as well.'

I shifted on his lap to get higher. I leaned in to kiss him and he responded willingly. When we broke off his eyes fixed on the horizon and I followed his gaze. The sun was rising, spreading its orange waves over the ocean that was catching them greedily, reflecting the beauty of the sun.

'Finally,' Heero breathed. 'Finally, I'm watching the sunrise with you instead of just watching you in the sunrise.'

'I could watch it forever,' I said, loving the way the sun licked the waves with its light.

'Yeah,' he murmured, completely transfixed. I turned to look deep into his eyes.

The sun reflected just as nicely in his eyes as it did in the waves.

I wondered how I'd managed to catch this one, and hoped I wouldn't wipe out.

Huge thanks to Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Clave for your support :)

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