Hello! This is Your Conscience Speaking

by Fyuro

Amity Spicket may only be a fairy the size of your thumb, but she has enough heart, zeal and courage to fill ten grown men. When she's on death row for being a Failed Conscience to mankind, Amity is given two choices. Die or become Envy's Conscience. Powerless in a strange world where magic doesn't exist, can Amity dare hope to change things for the better? T for safety-Brotherhod

10. Bonus Chapter Part 02

The Horrors of Halloween

Part 2 of 2

.

.

.

WARNING:

Crack, Possible OOCNESS, wacky and just plain disturbing things lurk within...

You have been warned.

.

.

.

Amity had been expecting many things when she rounded the corner with Alphonse; following the screeching voices of their uncooperative partners. But one thing she hadn't been expecting to see was a pink unicorn and a Pinocchio impersonator knocked unconscious on the ground, giant bumps forming on their heads and small pools of blood forming around them.

"W-Winry!" Alphonse stuttered.

Standing over the bodies of the two boys was a young girl, probably not much older than Amity. She had long, pale gold hair and fair skin. Her eyes were almost the exact shade of blue as the young fairy's. She was dressed in a princess gown and tiara... and held a blood covered wrench in her right hand.

"Oh, Alphonse! There you are!" The young girl called cheerily, smiling innocently at the two. "Ed and I thought we lost you! ...Who's your friend?"

Amity blinked. Was it possible for someone so cheerful to have cause so much damage?

"Oh, this is Amity Spicket." Al kindly introduced. The blunette wondered if things like this happened on a regular basis, since Alphonse was so casual about the whole thing. She mentally sighed; perhaps she was destined to only be friends with homicidal maniacs and murderers?

Winry smiled, walking up to the slight startled Conscience and holding her hand out. "Nice to meet you Amity. I'm Winry Rockbell."

Amity stared cautiously at the girl's small, delicate looking hand before taking and shaking it. A small grin slowly made its way onto her face. Winry seemed friendly enough. "It's nice to meet you too."

A pitiful groan came from the ground. "What the hell...?" Envy grumbled, slowly sitting up and rubbing his head.

"Ow... Winry, what'cha do that for?" The other boy slurred, casting the blonde girl a slightly disoriented glare.

"You shouldn't pick on other trick-or-treaters Ed! ... And I'm sorry I caught you in the ricochet, Mister...?"

"Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth." Amity supplied instantly.

Envy's eyes widened horror before narrowing into deadly slits, he opened his mouth to retort, but Edward's chortling beat him to it.

"O-oh man!" Ed cackled, slapping his knee. "N-No wonder you've got issues!" He laughed, nearly writhing in mirth on the pavement.

"S-Shut up!" Envy roared, a blush forming on his face. When Edward didn't comply, the shape shifter pounced him, holding the struggling blonde in a head-lock. Ed grabbed a fistful of the homunculus' hair, yanking down on it hard and making the shape shifter cry out in pain and outrage. "Let go of my hair you twerp!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A SNEEZE COULD BLOW HIM ALL THE WAY TO XING!?"

"Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth! Release that unicorn right this minute!" The Conscience yelled, giving the rogue homunculus the most scathing look she could muster.

"I'M A DRAGON, DAMNIT!"

"Brother! Calm down!" Al ordered from beside her. Though Amity could not see his face, she knew he was giving the blonde boy a look just as scolding as her own.

"Ed, listen to your brother! ...Don't make me use the wrench again!"

Both Envy and Ed froze at those words, giving each other mirrored looks of horror.

"...Ogilive?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"What say you we call a truce?"

"That sounds like a splendid idea, old chap."

They both rose to their feet, shaking hands. "But once she's gone, we'll settle this properly." Envy hissed quietly, grinning demonically while squeezing Ed's hand extra tightly.

With an equally evil grin, the blonde boy increased his grip on the homunculus' hand and replied. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"What are you two whispering about?!" Amity and Winry demanded, each looking as fierce as the next.

"Nothing~" Envy sang. The blunette glared at him in obvious disbelief, but made no comment.

"...So, are you here to trick-or-treat as well?" Alphonse asked conversationally, helping his brother to his feet while attempting to break the period of awkward silence that fell upon the group.

"No, we enjoy walking the streets at night dress as fictional characters, it's our hobby." The homunculus snorted sarcastically, refusing the helping hand Amity offered him and standing on his own. His comment earning an elbow in the ribs from his partner.

"Be nice." She scolded before turning back toward the group and offering them a slightly apologetic smile. "Yeah, we were here with, uh, Ogilive's younger brother, but we lost him..." She trailed off into thought. 'I wonder where Pride wandered off to anyway.'

"...A little boy? About this tall with dark hair and hark eyes? Kinda creepy acting and wearing a Winnie the Pooh costume?" Winry asked, making a measurement between the ground and her hand the close to the same height as Selim.

"That sounds like him!" Amity exclaimed. "Where was he?"

"He was headed toward the park, last I saw." Answered the blonde girl, smiling. "If you hurry, you might be able to catch up with him."

"Thanks!" The blunette said, grabbing Envy by the hand and dragging him off down the road, making the homunculus have to sprint to keep up with the fairy's face pace.

Winry, Alphonse and Ed watched the two strange people disappear into the darkness.

"Well, that was..."

"Bizarre." Edward finished flatly for his younger brother.

Winry chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her head as the trio started walking. "Think we'll see them at the Hallows End festival tonight?"

The Fullmetal Alchemist grimaced. "I hope not."

.

.

.

Envy wanted to die.

"Did you know that Fyuro is currently working on over 15 stories in all sorts of different animes, video games and book series? And that most of these stories she hasn't posted?"

Oh how he really, really wished he could die.

"...and that the reason I'm so fast and can jump so high, is because my character was originally cricket based! Wow, and it says here-"

Preferably a quick and painless death. Unlike the death he envisioned for Amity, no, her death would be painful and slow... very very slow.

"... and even though you're only the author's third favorite character, you're her favorite character to write about! And-"

Slow and... Wait... what?

...

...

...

WHAT!?

"What do you mean I'm her third favorite character?!" Envy hissed, wheeling on the unsuspecting fairy behind him.

Amity froze on the spot, her eyes doubling in size at the realization of her grievous error. This was Envy the Jealous she was talking too, after all. He wouldn't take being the third favorite lightly. Slowly, she brought the open book higher, so only her eyes could be seen, almost as if she was trying to shield herself from the enraged sin. "Um... well... You're her favorite to write about..."

"That only means I'm her favorite one to torture!" Envy shrieked, making the blunette wince. "Who. is. in. first. place." The homunculus growled lowly.

The fairy took a hesitant step backwards when Envy moved closer. "E-Edward Elric...?" She squeaked.

"The Fullmetal Pipsqueak!?" He roared, advancing on her.

"But you're her favorite to write about!" Amity pleaded once more, ducking even lower behind her large book and stumbling back even more.

"If she's going to harass me, the least the she could do is make me her favorite!"

"But you're her favorite to-!"

The rest of her words were drowned out by two loud gunshots. "Roy Mustang, you get back here this minute!"

Streaking past them in nothing but boxer-shorts which were adorned with bright red letters on the backside saying 'So HOT I Sizzle' was a man with wild black hair and crazed, hyper looking black eyes. Chocolate was smeared all over this man, in particularly his mouth and hands. The man cackled insanely. "WOOOO! You'll never take me alive, Riza baby!"

Another set of loud gunshots ensued soon after. "COLONEL!"

Both Envy and Amity blinked owlishly as a woman clad in a green, tube top dress that was cut off mid-thigh blazed past them, wielding a small pistol in each of her hands. I wasn't until the woman passed that Amity noticed a chocolate hand print on the lady's rear end.

"Riza! Don't kill him!"

A stampede of black cloaked strangers paraded past them not too long after the woman had; all shouting in a desperate attempt to calm the enraged female.

"He didn't mean it!"

"He's not in his right mind!"

"You know sugar makes him crazy!"

Slightly windblown, Amity straightened her now lopsided top-hat, gazing in the direction the people ran off to. There was a small period of silence before she spoke. "Well, that was unexpected."

As soon as the words fell out of her mouth, the ground began to tremble. A feeling of dread crept into Amity's stomach, though she didn't understand why. Slowly, she turned her head toward the source of the rumbling. She felt her mouth go dry; her pupils shrank at the sight that raced toward them from afar.

Screaming, she jumped into Envy's arms, wrapping her arms around his neck a burring her face into his shoulder. Now, normally, Envy would have dropped her and laughed at her pathetic weakness, but he and his brain were too preoccupied arguing over if the pink, tutu clad, mustached man was really there, and not some strange fabrication of his tired, over-worked brain.

"Think you can out run me, do you? Cross country running has been a skill passed down the Armstrong family for generations!" The sparkling man bellowed, paying no heed to the shivering girl and the Pinocchio costumed sin as he sped past at speeds that should have been impossible for such a large man.

Envy blinked once. Twice. Three times before his brain finally convinced him that was he was seeing was, in fact, real and not some sugar induced hallucination. He sighed. "Well it's official; this night couldn't get any weirder."

The horrifying ballerina out of mind, Amity, still in Envy's arms, nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, I don't things could get any more bizarre than this."

"Would you like me to leave you two alone?" A smug voice asked from behind them.

The palm tree haired sin turned around with Amity still in his arms. Pride smirked condescendingly up at them, his arms folded. Envy and Amity looked down at the arrogant sin with mirrored looks of confusion, before slowly turning and looking at each other.

Their eyes widened.

"Pride!" Envy yelled, dropping his Conscience immediately like a hot-potato; a blush made its way onto his face. "That is just sick and demented!"

The blunette hopped to her feet, ignoring the fact that she was dropped. "Why would we even-?" She screeched, her cheeks turning to color of a ripe tomato, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's just wrong on so many levels!" The jealous homunculus protested veheminately. "I mean, really, we would never do what... what couples do!"

"Exactly!" Amity agreed. "I would never ever go on a date with Envy, or let him buy me chocolates and… " She trailed off, her eyes brightening. "…actually that doesn't sound so bad, now that I think about it…" She hummed thoughtfully.

"It's not that sort of stuff I'm talking about!" He shouted.

She tilted her head innocently to the side, her brows furrowing in confusion. "What kind of stuff do couples do besides that?"

The silence that engulfed the group was almost suffocating. And, for reason's Amity couldn't fathom, Envy's face turned even darker red than it had before.

"Um… more intimate things." Pride vaguely explained, tugging nervously at this collar of his costume and refusing to make eye contact.

The corners of her lip curved downward. "What do you mean 'intimate'?"

Envy coughed awkwardly. "Um… you know… the birds and the bees?"

The fairy blinked several more times. "What do birds and bees have to do with-"

"Okay, I think we're done with this conversation now!" Envy announced with false cheer, clapping and rubbing his hands together. "How about we go find Lust, Wrath and Gluttony now? Yes? Let's go."

Amity's frowned deepened; her mind still stuck on the previous conversation. "Do these 'birds and bees' have anything to do with Pride's feelings for Ms. Monteith?"

"My feelings for… WHAT!?" Pride shrieked, his eyes widening with horror.

Envy's expression nearly rivaled his older brothers. "Amity!" He cried.

She chuckled nervously, rubbing that back of her neck. "Heh…heh… Uh, whoops..."

The young looking sin whirled on his younger sibling, his eyes sparking with promised payback. "You told her?!"

"Um…"

Pride hissed; the blood-lust in the air was nearly palpable. No one dared to breath for a long period of tense silence.

The proud sin narrowed his eyes venomously. "Equivalent exchange."

"…Huh?" Envy asked.

"You reveal a secret about me, so to make things equal, now I have to reveal something about you."

Envy paled. "Y-You wouldn't dare!"

Grinning like the sadistic child he was, Pride turned his attention to bushy haired fairy, who was watched the exchange with uncertainty. "Envy told you of our bargain, correct? That if he kept my ... feelings for Ms. Monteith a secret that I wouldn't reveal Envy's little problem to anyone."

Her uneasiness thrown out the window, Amity nodded eagerly, chewing on her lower lip with anticipation.

"Traitor!" Envy growled.

Prides grin grew so large it threatened to split his face in two. "Envy…" He paused for dramatic effect.

"…is married."

…

…

…

"I did not see that coming." Amity admitted, completely awestruck.

"Pride!" The palm-tree haired one wailed his cheeks once again aflame with embarrassment.

"About 150 years ago, when Envy was still pretty 'young' Greed convinced him to go drinking at a bar." Pride drawled with deliberate slowness, as if to prolong Envy's suffering. "Envy, as it turned out, couldn't hold his liquor at all. So, after a long night of drinking enough booze to give an ordinary human liver poisoning, Envy wakes up the next morning in Xing, married to…"

"Stop! Stop! I'm begging you!" Envy dropped to his knees, clasping his hands together. "I'll do whatever you want for a year! I'll clean your room! I'll be your personal slave! Just. Don't. Finish!"

"Equivalence." The evil little boy sang, wagging his finger at the begging sin. "Envy wakes up in Xing the next morning with a marriage certificate. He is now officially married to a lovely potted palm tree houseplantnamed Lillian."

Amity tried. She really did. But she just couldn't take it anymore. Her suppressed giggles burst out of her mouth, metamorphosing into peals of insane laughter that made tears well up in her eyes. Eventually, while catching her breath, she stuttered. "I-I'm sorry Envy! B-But you and-and a palm tree!" She dissolved into giggles again. "It's just so… so…"

"Some Conscience you are!" Envy retorted, stomping his foot on the ground. "You should be defending me right now! Not laughing your butt off!"

"I-I'm sorry." She choked, wiping the tears of mirth out of her blue eyes. "B-But you…" She snorted.

Pride sighed happily, smiling pleasantly at his younger brother. "I feel so much better now. Don't you?"

"Go to hell." Envy spat, folding his arms and marching away from the group; attempting to keep whatever dignity he had intact.

"I'll see you there, won't I?" Was Pride's retort, following his sibling. "I bet palm trees don't last very long down there."

Envy gave his brother a nasty glare. "Bug off you little imp!"

"Come now, gentlemen, don't be like that!" Amity giggled, trailing behind Envy like the good like Conscience she was. "What would Lillian and Nancy say if they saw you now?"

"SHUT UP!" Pride and Envy barked, glaring daggers at the blunette.

"Oi, if we're following the rules of equivalent exchange, shouldn't you cough up some dirt about yourself?" Envy asked, raising an eyebrow at the fairy.

Pride grinned roguishly at the girl, whose grin had fallen clean off her face. "That seems fair…"

"Hey hey hey!" Amity yelped, waving her arms in panic. "I never asked to be indulged in your deep dark secrets… as hilarious as they may be. Besides-" She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm not giving you guys any blackmail material."

"Ooo, so little Miss Goodie Two-Shoes does have some deep dark secrets of her own." Envy practically cooed, causing Amity's cheeks to redden in embarrassment.

"I don't have any silly crushes or secret marriages to potted plants, if that's what you mean." She bit back spitefully, her hands now resting defiantly on her hips.

Envy whistled. "That's pretty harsh, coming from someone who's normally the size of my thumb."

Smirking sardonically, Pride added. "Not to mention you're supposed to be Envy's voice between right and wrong. How could you be so mean?" He pretended to pout.

Amity frowned looking a little unsure with herself. "Well…"

"And after we shared some of our deepest and darkest secrets with you!" The jealous homunculus cried dolefully.

"Really Amity, you ought to be feeling quiet guilty, you know." Pride tsked, shaking his head in disappointment.

The Conscience chewed her lip, looking down at her shoes. Guilt spread plainly over her face. "Well… I guess one little secret wouldn't hurt…"

Grinning like the cunning geniuses they were, Pride and Envy eagerly leaned in closer, looking all too much like schoolgirls enjoy a juicy bit of gossip at the lunch table.

Amity took a deep breath, looking her trick-or-treating companions straight in the eyes.

"I have a severe phobia of mustached ballerinas."

…

…

…

Envy threw his hands up into the air, disgusted. "That's boring!"

The child-looking homunculus scowled at the blunette. "Of all the ridiculous…"

"I'm serious!" She wailed, looking terrified at the very mention of her phobia. "When I was an 8 year-old Conscience, Sidius, a fairy that never liked me and had a mustache, was a substitute teacher for my class for an entire week. Once in class I accidentally fell asleep and started dreaming. It was a pretty normal dream at first, I was doing to polka in a field of chocolate daisies with a some garden gnomes, until I heard someone call my name. I looked, and there was Sidius! He had turned into a giant ballerina and began crushing all of my gnome friends with his feet! It was horrible!" She sobbed.

…

…

…

"… Why don't we go meet up with Lust? Maybe they've had better luck finding those Whatchamacallit bars." The Pinocchio impersonator suggested after a long moment of awkward silence.

Pride snorted. "I highly doubt it."

.

.

.

"Nothing?"

Lust let out a long-suffering sigh. "Not a candy bar to be had."

"Damn." Pride cursed, folding his arms and scowling at the pavement. "We were unable to attain any Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars as well."

"Maybe they don't make them anymore?" Envy suggested, sitting down on the fountains edge and scowling at the happy couples playing games at the varying festival booths.

"Can I eat that Lust?" The chubby sin pleaded, tugging on the hem of her dress and pointing to something off in the distance.

The one in question sighed. "No Gluttony that is a building."

"But it looks so tasty!"

Lust's eye began to twitch spastically, her patience thinning down to the point of nothingness. "No Gluttony."

"Hey, lookie what I found!" Amity cried from afar, running towards the group of homunculi

The palm-tree haired homunculus wrinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't even want to know what you found in the restroom."

"I didn't find it there." Amity said with a roll of the eyes. Grinning, she continued. "I was on my way back here and I noticed a prize at one of the booths! The man that ran the booth was nice and let me play the first time for free, and you'll never guess what I won!"

The homunculi all gave her blank stares, making the blunette's eager grin falter. "Well, guess!" She prodded, hiding the item behind her back.

They continued to stare, much to Amity's disappointment. "You guys are no fun at all." She grumbled. Then, grinning like a fool, she revealed her prize. "Ta-da!"

Envy's eyes widened. "Is that…?"

"A Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar? Why yes, yes it is." Amity beamed proudly. "They're giving tons of these things away as prizes at all sorts of different game booths!"

"Does this mean what I think it means?" The proud sin asked, looking over at Wrath.

The Fuhrer sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately, to acquire Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars we're going to have to play the carnival games."

"Won't it be fun?" Amity gushed, once again oblivious to the other homunculi's misery.

Envy groaned, running a hand down his face.

"We'll need money to play." Pride observed, giving Wrath a pointed look.

Exhaling through the nose, Wrath pulled his wallet out from a pocket in his pirate uniform. He handed everyone several stacks of bills. The sight made Amity's eyes go incredibly wide.

"I-I don't think I've ever held so much money before in my life. " She murmured in awe, looking down at her own stack with glassy eyes.

"Geeze Wrath, we're going to play some games, not purchase a villa." Envy drawled, placing the paper money into his pockets.

"Just a precautionary measure. Though I have no personal experience, my wife claims that carnival games are difficult to win, are often times set up so that it is impossible for you to win, and are expensive." Wrath explained, placing the wallet back inside his coat pocket. Gluttony wasn't given any money, since he would most likely devour it.

The palm-tree impersonator snorted, folding his arms. "Sounds just like a typical human; blaming the game instead of their pathetic, inept ability."

.

.

.

"I'm telling you, this game is rigged!"

"Envy calm down!" Amity hissed, waving her hands in a placid manner, smiling apologetically at the people who wandered by. "People are starting to stare." She whispered.

"Let them!" He roared, handing the man who ran to booth another set of bills. The man took them all too eagerly, handing the homunculus a set of three round balls.

"Envy, you've already spend half of the money Wrath gave you on this stand alone!" The fairy attempted to reason.

"I don't mind." The runner of the booth replied cheerily, running his fingers of the massive amount of money affectionately.

"Shut up! I will knock those glass bottles down if it's the last thing I do!" Envy snapped at her.

Scowling, she retorted. "Why must you be so stubborn!?"

"Why must you be so annoying!?"

"You'll never knock the bottles down at this rate, Envy! You throw like a girl!"

His eyes widened, stunned. The look on his face reminded Amity of the time Lust slapped him for sticking his hand down her chest. "T-Take that back!"

"Hey Ed, this game looks like fun!"

Amity paused. Turning her head over towards the familiar voice coming from behind her. Grinning, she waved enthusiastically at the trio making their way towards the booth. "Winry! Al! Ed!" She called cheerily. "What are you guys doing here?"

Winry was the first to look up; smiling brightly once she recognized the blunette. She rushed over. "Hey Amity!" The blonde girl greeted. "I was wondering if we'd bump into each other again! Having any luck with the carnival games?"

Amity pouted. "I haven't got to play any besides one. Env-er-Ogilive is being stubborn and won't go play any others."

"We'll leave when I've beaten this pathetic excuse of human entertainment!" Envy snapped, throwing his second ball and failing once again to knock the bottles down, though they did rattle a little.

"That's pretty pathetic." Ed jabbed.

"I'd like to see you do better, pipsqueak!" The homunculus growled, narrowing his eyes, his glare challenging.

Edward's eye twitched and he ground his teeth together at hearing the 'p' word. Spinning on heel, he slammed a small stack of bills onto the stands counter. He turned toward the homunculus, shooting him a dark look. "Set me up!"

Amity sighed heavily, then pausing as something occurred to her. "Your costumes are different." She pointed out.

"Ed's idea." Alphonse sighed.

"I was sick and tired of all you delusional people thinking I was a unicorn! So, I transmuted our costumes into something different." The Fullmetal Alchemist explained, as he threw one of the small balls, failing to knock even a single bottle down much to the homunculus' delight.

"I'm Dorothy, you know, from the Wizard of Oz?" Winry chimed in, pointing to her blue-plaid dress and low-hanging pigtails.

"I'm the Tin Man." Al spoke, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

"So…" Amity turned toward Ed, who let out a loud curse when his ball missed the bottles entirely. "Why is Ed dressed as a kitten?"

Edward Elric nearly blew up.

"I'M A LION!" He roared in a very lion-like way, his teeth bared at the Conscience.

Envy burst into an insane fit of laughter. Earning a slap on the shoulder from the not-so-lion look-alike.

"Hey, no fighting!" Winry snapped, pulling out her wrench and pointing at the two threateningly.

"He started it!" Ed and Envy yelled, pointing a finger at each other accusingly.

Amity couldn't help but let a giggle escape her lips. Envy and Ed acted a lot like brothers, in her opinion. Very violent, grumpy brothers.

When Winry threatened their well-being once again, they begrudgingly released each other.

"Creep." Ed grumbled.

"Shrimp."

"WHAT DID YOU-!?"

"Hey Ed, I'd like to try and play!" The blonde girl interrupted, pointing to the booth.

Edward grumbled turning toward her; his own failure at the game was a painful blow against his own ego. "So, play."

She narrowed her eyes. "How can I play if I don't have any money?"

"How is that my problem?" He asked, drooping and exasperated.

"Pay for me, Alchemy-nerd!"

"Pay for it yourself, Mechanic-geek!"

Amity, observing the scene with pondering eyes, piped up. "But Ed, isn't the boyfriend supposed to pay for the girlfriend?"

Both froze in mid-argument, their faces turning impossibly red as they slowly turned toward the Conscience.

Envy's laughter broke the stunned silence.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Ed shrieked, his face burning with embarrassment.

Amity frowned. "Are you sure? Don't you two like eachother?"

"U-U-Um. Ed, money please!" The girl choked out, turning her face away from the staring fairy.

"S-Sure Winry…" He mumbled, looking mortified and no less than being mentally scarred for life.

Al chuckeld from beside Amity. "So, you think they'd make a good couple too?" He whispered to her.

"You mean they seriously aren't a couple already?" She asked, surprised. "What are they waiting for then!?"

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Envy shrieked, his voice rising in pitch.

Startled, the three turned to see…

The bottles knocked down.

Not by Envy, no, it was the blonde mechanic who was grinning proudly, holding up a teddy bear the size of Ed in her arms.

"I won!" She cried victoriously, making a 'V' with her middle and index finger.

Envy stared, rage and disbelief etched onto his face as he watched the human female dance around with the bear, practically singing her accomplishment so loud, the people in Drachma could have heard her. Envy's eye began twitching.

His nerves were shot. His pride had been trampled on by some pathetic human girl and not to mention, he failed to win the Chocolate Cocoa something-something-something bars that Father demanded he collect. Envy's face slowly turned red with rage; he felt like a ticking time-bomb about ready to blow up.

Amity giggled, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I was wrong. You throw even worse than a girl!"

…

…

…

"AAAIIIEEEE!" Amity cried, barely dodging the enraged Pinocchio impersonator when her lunged at her. Amity gulped, certain she wasn't imagining the red glow in his eyes, which narrowed dangerously at her.

Weighing her options in this particular situation, Amity came to the only logical conclusion.

Run.

"See ya later Ed, Al, Winry!" She called over her shoulder, darting off into the crowd, Envy not too far behind.

"…Think we should help her?" Alphonse asked worriedly.

Ed waved his hand dismissively "Nah, she'll be okay."

.

.

.

"This is ridiculous."

Lust did her best to maintain her composure; her patience was running extremely thin and it was only a matter of time before she finally snapped. She was fairly certain that what Pride said was the understatement of the century.

This 'bobbing for apples' was not only pointless and messy, but highly unsanitary. She knew she wouldn't want to put her mouth in water that several other people contaminated with their saliva, she suppressed a shutter.

Humans found this fun?

"Gluttony can do it." Wrath spoke, the look on his face clearly stating that he didn't wish to dunk his head in the water either.

That option certainly was more favorable than having to do it herself. Besides, skills involving the mouth were right up Gluttony's alley.

So, handing the money over to the woman who ran the bobbing apple stand, warning the chubby sin to not bite any of the other competitor's heads off, the barbaric competition began.

A few minutes of vicious splashing went by before the woman blew her whistling, signaling that time was up. Gluttony emerged from the water…

With no apple.

In fact, no one had managed to claim the apple. Frowning in disappointment, Wrath gave the money more money for Gluttony to play again.

Soon, round two began.

And ended with no victors.

Frowning even deeper, a crease forming on his forehead, Wrath paid for Gluttony to try again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Finally, after Gluttony's 30th attempt Lust put a hand on Wrath's shoulder before her youngest brother could give into the sin he was named after and strangle Gluttony. "Let's move on to another game. It's pointless to waste any more time here."

"I concur." Pride spoke, kicking up a dirt clod with the toe of shoe, glaring it distastefully.

The corners of his lips curled downward a little more before he closed his eyes and released a heavy breath through the nose. "Very well."

"Come Gluttony."

Sucking on his finger, the pudgy sin waddled over toward the group, catching up to them as they began to wander the various booths once more. Gluttony made a whimpering noise, looking up at Lust. "Are you mad at me?" He asked, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.

"No."

"I did my very best."

"I know." She sighed.

"And I ate as many apples as I could get."

"I… What?" She stopped, looking down.

Wrath and Pride stopped aw well, staring wide eyed at Gluttony.

He smiled. "I ate as many apples as I could." The round homunculus repeated proudly. "I ate more than any of the humans did!"

…

…

…

Lust didn't try to stop Wrath when he lunged at Gluttony, grabbing the poor bald sin by the throat and shaking him violently.

Because in all honesty, she had been very close to trying to same thing.

.

.

.

Amity giggled, skipping along next to Envy, cotton candy in one hand and a stuffed frog with Velcro-fingers hanging around her neck. She plucked a piece of her treat off the stick and popped it into her mouth, nearly purring in delight as the light, fluffy sugary candy melted in her mouth.

They hadn't had any luck winning any carnival games. And it seemed whichever ones they did manage to beat, the chocolate somethingerither bars were no longer in stock.

Amity sighed sadly, taking another bite of her candy. They'd been wandering around aimlessly the festival for a little while now, and hadn't spotted a single booth giving away the treat Father required. This quest was starting to feel impossible…

A small smile made it too her face. Oh well, at least she was getting to have fun!

"Hey Envy, you have to try this!" She said, wagging the cotton candy in front of his nose, attempting to perk up her sulking friend.

He eyed the offered treat incredulously, wrinkling his nose in distaste and shoving her hand away. "No way, it smells so nauseatingly sweet, it makes my nostrils burn."

Amity frowned. "Aw, c'mon, just one little taste?" She coaxed her voice almost as sweet as the candy.

He huffed, turning away from her and sticking his nose up in the air.

Smirking mischievously, Amity turned away from him; she gasped and pointed out into the crowd. "Look at that!"

Envy turned his head. "Look at wha-"

SMACK!

Envy muffled screams could be heard through the pink candy that now completely coated his face. Amity couldn't control her giggles once she saw cotton candy didn't go into his mouth like she had planned, but instead collided with his nose "You-you were supposed to open your mouth!" She chortled, covering her own with her hand.

Envy struggled to pull the offending fuzz off of his face, gasping for air when he did. "What are you tryin' to do?! Suffocate me with this stuff!?" He screeched, using the stick to point at her. "I think half of it went up my nose! I'm going to be sneezing pink fluff for weeks!" He snarled.

"It-it wasn't supposed to g-go up your nose." She barely managed between snickers. "I'm *snort* I'm really sorry!" She giggled again. "You-you have some in your eye-brows b-by the way."

He glowered at her a while longer, his hands twitching as thoughts of murder floated through his mind. She looked up at him, azure eyes shining with unshed tears of mirth. "So, uh, shall we let bygones be bygones?" She inquired apprehensively, noticing his dark look.

Then, to her upmost surprise, he closed his eyes and beamed brightly at her. "Sure."

"…Really?"

"Of course, it was an accident after all." He assured her, his large smile still in place.

Amity couldn't help but grin a little herself. "Wow, I thought you were mad!" She sighed in relief, wiping some imaginary sweat from her brow. "I was worried you'd try and strangle me again!"

Envy laughed, waving his hand in dismissal. "Perish the thought!"

Her smile grew and the two began to walk again. "And here I thought you were going to-"

Her foot caught on something, causing her to fall sprawled out prone onto the hard dirt. It took her about three seconds in that position to process that the thing that her foot caught on was Envy's own, outstretched foot, and that he was cackling insanely behind her. "I can't believe you fell for that!"

"Envy, you purgle faced JERK!" She growled, lifting her face from the ground. "Owie…That hurt!"

"You should have seen the look on your face!" He snickered.

"You ought to be feeling guilty, you know!"

"Need some help?" A smooth, male voice asked from above her, sufficiently shutting her homunculus friend up. A hand dangled down in front of her, it wiggled its fingers to remind the blunette that the owner of it was waiting for her response.

She took it, and the man effortlessly lifted her to her feet. Looking up, she was stunned to see a pair of violet, cat-like eyes peering down at her.

"And what's your name, sweetheart?" The mysterious stranger asked, bringing his lips to her knuckles, kissing them lightly. He was tall. Taller than Envy at very least. His short hair was spiked upward. He was wearing a costume that reminded Amity of the things Arabian kings wore in the old stories she'd read (minus the turban). His open vest revealed well defined muscles, and it suddenly was no wonder why he was able to lift her so easily. But of all the things, the most alarming was his jagged, shark like teeth.

Swallowing hard, she managed a nervous smile at the stranger who was looking at her with such intensity, she nearly felt her legs give out from underneath her. "I'm-"

"Greed!" Envy snarled, finally snapped out of his stunned daze.

Amity blinked twice, looking over her shoulder at her partner. "Last time I checked, I was Amity." She told him, her brows furrowing in confusion.

The man let out a single bark of laughter. "So you two are here together then?" He snickered, his gaze flicking back down at Amity, he had yet to let go of her hand. "Tell me toots, how'd you get stuck with that loser?"

Sighing and unaware of the glares Envy was sending her 'captor', Greed, she replied. "Well, it all started after I accidentally led the last person I was a Conscience too into an alligator farm…"

"Amity, don't talk to that scum." Envy seethed, he would have undoubtedly attacked now, were it not for the fact his powers didn't work on Halloween.

"Hey, how about you ditch the wanna-be-a-real-boy over there and come hang out with me?" Greed suggested, taking a piece of her blue hair and also bringing it too his lips. Tension rose in the air.

"It doesn't taste like blueberries, you know."

And deflated in seconds.

Greed pulled away slowly, blinking owlishly at the blunette that had spoken.

"I mean, really, why does everyone that isn't used to blue hair think it's flavored?" She asked aloud, placing her now free hands on her hips.

Envy and Greed both stared at her, mouths agape.

"It would be like me thinking all brunette's hair tasted like chocolate, since brown hair is a rare color where I'm from." She continued, oblivious to those around her as usual.

There was another brief pause before Greed laughed again. "Man, she's a keeper! Where'd you find her Envy?"

"Technically, I found him." She piped up.

"Never mind all of that!" The jealous sin snapped, pointing a finger at Greed. "What are you doing here?"

The avaricious one's eyes glinted with mischief. "I'm here on a little revenge mission." He confessed.

Envy eyes widened, surprised Greed even answered him. "What exactly does that mean? And stop giving Amity that look, damn it! She's my Conscience, not yours! So back off!"

"Geeze, you're taking this role-playing thing a little seriously, don't you think Pinocchio?" Greed sighed. Then smirking smugly, Greed pulled his head backward, looking down his nose at his younger brother. "Well, I suppose I have time to tell you…" He hummed. "Every year, ever since my creation, it was me Father sent to go collect his precious Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." He told, a scowl gracing his features. "He never shared. Naturally, since I'm Greed, I wanted Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars too. But not just a couple of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, no, I wanted all the Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars."

He sighed then, rubbing the back of neck. "I fought Father for them. The two of us destroyed the entire factory that made the Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars. I barely managed to escape with my life; that was 103 years ago. The night I defected from the rest of the homunculi. The company believed the bars were cursed, and never made them again. Until today."

"So, I have vowed to take every single Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar for myself!" He declared passionately, placing a hand over where his heart would be.

…

…

…

"You certainly enjoy saying Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, don't you?" Amity asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Guilty as charged, sweetheart." Greed grinned, winking at her and revealing his sharp teeth.

"Well, your insidious plot won't work!" Envy yelled, pointing at his brother once again. "Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Pride, Amity and I will get more bars than you ever could and bring them all to Father!"

"Is that a challenge?" Greed asked, his grin growing wider. "Fine by me." He turned back to Amity, taking her hand and kissing it again. "I'll be back." He spoke huskily, looking her directly in the eyes.

"See you around then…?" Amity spoke, confusion lacing her tone.

He smiled again, giving her a two fingered salute and making a very rude gesture toward Envy before disappearing into the crowd.

"I'll show him." Envy growled lowly, his hair covering his eyes. He clenched his fists tightly. "I'll show that bastard once and for all!" He roared, marching off.

"Hey, where are we going?" Amity called after him, sprinting to catch up with his fast pace.

"I'm going to find Lust, Wrath, Pride and Gluttony." He answered. "And we're going to make a game plan."

"… I don't like the sound of that."

.

.

.

"I believe flamethrowers might be a little excessive, Envy." Lust spoke calmly, though one could see amusement in her eyes.

"What else do you think we should use against him!?" He demanded, narrowing his eyes.

Pride rolled his violet orbs. "He's 'the Ultimate Shield', I doubt such primitive weapons would cause him any harm."

"Then what do you suggest!?" He snarled, wheeling on his oldest brother.

"Simple; we play as many games as we can and obtain all of the candy bars." Pride responded tonelessly.

"But, and do correct me if I'm wrong, haven't we played all the games?" Amity asked.

"Have you played ring toss?" Envy asked Lust.

"Yes. Unfortunately, Gluttony ate the rings and we were disqualified." The woman sighed, hanging her head.

"Have you done darts and balloons?" Wrath asked, causing Amity to grimace.

"Yeah… That didn't end too well…" She mumbled.

Lust quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"

"I kinda sorta lost my temper…" Envy grumbled, ducking his head.

"And the man that ran the booth had to be taken to the emergency room." Amity added.

"What did you do too him?" Lust asked sternly, narrowing her eyes at the envious sin.

"Um…"

"Well, by the time Envy was done with him, the man looked less like a human and more like a giant, dart covered pincushion." The blunette explained sheepishly. She turned her gaze back towards Envy. "You should be feeling guilty for doing that." She reprimanded.

Scoffing, Envy rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Lust, Wrath and Pride all let out deep, exasperated sighs; Amity could have sworn she saw sweat-drops forming on their temples.

"What are we going to do now?" Lust asked, scowling at some of the booth players. They had yet to find another booth that gave away the candy bars they needed.

"It's not like we can return to Father empty handed. " Wrath spoke, his eyes also scanning the crowd in search of the precious candy.

"Hey, look at that!" Amity yelled, pointing off into the crowd gaining all the other homunculi's attention, well, besides Envy's that is.

"Like hell I'm falling for that again." Envy growled, refusing to look in her direction. "Last time I looked, you nearly suffocated me with cotton candy!"

"Amity found a booth that is giving away Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars." Pride gave his brother a scolding look. "And you nearly let her kill you with cotton candy? Are you really that pathetic?"

"…Shut up."

"It's a game for small children." Lust sighed, staring at the booth.

The pirate clad man nodded in agreement. "It would look conspicuous for adults to be playing."

Silence filled the air as everyone's gaze turned toward Pride. The oldest homunculus frowned, narrowing his eyes in confusion. "…What are you all staring at me for?"

.

.

.

"This is preposterous." Pride seethed, glaring distastefully at the booth he found himself at. "I'm over 300 years old; I'm older than all of you!" He hissed quietly, glaring at his 'family' who stood behind him.

"But you look the youngest." Lust explained, her eyes practically dancing with amusement.

"C'mon Pride, it'll be fun!" Amity assured with a large grin.

He scowled at her. "We clearly have two very different definitions of 'fun'."

The game itself was laughably simple. Select two ducks floating around in the kiddie pool. The numbers 1-5 that were written on the bottom of each duck were added together and you get a prize depending on the total you managed to collect; ten being the highest possible total and two being the lowest.

It took five points to win a candy bar. And there was only one Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar left.

It was a large blow to his enormous ego to be playing such a juvenile game, but it would be an even worse blow to go back to Father empty handed.

Sighing heavily, Pride approached the stand; the others tagging along behind him.

"Why hello there, sonny!" The male that ran the booth spoke loudly once he saw the young looking boy approach. "And what might your name be?"

Prides eyes twitched slightly. "My name's Selim, mister!" He chimed happily, falling into his Selim persona. "I'd like to play your game!" 'And possibly kill you once this is over.'

"Well, sure thing little buddy!" The man crowed happily. The man looked behind the boy. "And what's you name little lady?"

The proud sin looked over his shoulder. Behind him was a little girl, probably not much older than three. She had light, caramel colored hair tied into two bushy pig-tails and green eyes. She was dressed like an angel, with fake, white feathery wings and a halo suspended over her head with a wire. She was holding the hand of a man that was most likely in his late twenties.

"I'm Elicia!" She announced jovially, tugging the hand of the man. "And this is daddy!"

'Must. Not. Gag. At. The. Cuteness.' Pride mentally groaned, resisting urge to run away when the man began cuddling his daughter like a giant stuffed animal.

Handing the man the required fee, Pride dropped onto his knees, the small girl doing the same; the two watched the ducks float aimlessly in the slightly dirty water.

He just needed to get 5 points total, that was all.

"Oh, pick that one!" Amity cried, leaning over him and pointing toward a pink rubber duck with an afro.

"That one looks tasty!" Gluttony chimed from next to Amity, pointing at a brown and pink spotted duck.

"The purple one looks desirable." Lust commented.

"The blue one looks dignified." Wrath spoke.

Pride's eyes darted between ducks his comrades were point to; not knowing which one he should pick. Beads of sweat formed on his face. What if he picked the wrong ducks? They'd never let him live it down!

"The orange one is adorable!"

"The black one looks mysterious…"

"Oh, oh, pick that one!"

"That one looks much better!"

"Look at my daughter, isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen?" The father of Elicia said to Envy. If Pride were to turn around, he'd see the envious sin trapped, pictures of the man's daughter dangling in front of his nose.

"Why the hell do you need to show me pictures?! She's right here!"

Closing his eyes, Pride bent down and grabbed a random duck. Gulping, he turned it over.

A messily scrawled number 1 was on the bottom.

His whole body turned cold as ice as he stared in disbelief at the number. That meant he had to get at least a 4 to win now!

"Look, daddy! I got a three!" Elicia announced merrily, showing the duck to her father.

"That my little girl! So smart" He cooed before turning back to Envy. "And here's a picture of Elicia on her very first Christmas! Aw, isn't she adorable in that hat?"

"Let go of me you crazy-"

Pride blocked out the rest of his younger brothers protest and glared at the young girl who hummed happily, watching the little ducks go around. Thinks she can beat him, does she? Well, that pathetic human girl had no idea what she was in for!

"Grab the one with the comb over!"

"Pirates are lucky! Pick the pirate one!"

A tick mark appeared on his temple. He would not allow this girl to beat him. He wouldn't!

"Go for the brown one!"

"The one with glasses looks yummy!"

He had to pick, but which one? Which one would bring him victory?

"Is that one tie-dyed?"

"That one had a crooked beak…"

"I don't need to see any more photo's of your daughter!"

"Pick the green polka-dotted one!"

He grit his teeth to the point they almost began to crack. The ducks were mocking them, he just knew it! You don't know which one to pick, you don't know which one to pick~ He swore he heard them singing, their beady, little black eyes twinkling innocently at him in the booth's decorative lights.

He felt his blood boiling…

"Get the one with the bow-tie!"

"That one! That one!"

"Grab the striped one!"

The tick mark on his forehead was pulsing faster…

"That one's sparkly!"

"The one with the chef's hat looks like it might have a high number!"

A growl escaped his lips.

You don't know which one to pick~ you don't know which one to pick~

"Fools! I will not be defeated so easily!" Pride roared, plunging his hand into the kiddie pool of unsuspecting rubber ducks. He viciously ripped one out. It was a simple, plain yellow duck. The only plain duck out of the entire batch. Gulping down some much needed air, he slowly turned the duck over to find he number…

1.

"Daddy, look! It's a five!" Elicia called from beside Pride, holding a pink duck up in the air proudly.

His eyebrow twitched.

…

…

…

"He fainted!" Amity wailed, looking down at the fallen boy; his eyes replaced with comical spirals.

"Brilliant deduction, Amity. Tell me, did you realize this before or after he hit the ground unconscious?" Envy drawled sarcastically, showing no concern for his older brother.

"I suppose the stress was too much for him." Wrath sighed, looking down at his 'son'.

"Come on Elicia, let's go play another game!" The father of the girl called, scooping his child and her recently won unicorn stuffed animal up. Neither one aware of the trauma they had just caused the young looking boy who was lying passed out in the dirt.

"Whoever that guy was, I'll kill him." Envy vowed. "He showed me so many cutesy pictures of his daughter, it was sickening!"

While Amity tried to calm her partner down, Lust walked forward, smiling flirtatiously at the man who ran the booth.

"I was wondering," She began, pouting her lips in such a way that would make any man weak in the knees. "If it would be possible for you give me that candy bar you have on display." The busty sin purred, running her hand down his arm while the man sweated profusely, gulping audibly at her closeness. "You see, it's little Selim's favorite candy and he was so disappointed he didn't win it…"

"W-Well shucks Ma'am…" The man muttered, his face turning red. "I-I'm not sure if…"

Lust leaned in closer. "I'm sure I can find some way to compensate for your loss." She whispered.

Within seconds the group left with candy bar in hand. Gluttony slung the still unconscious Pride over his shoulder.

"Good work, Lust." Wrath commended, looking down at the candy bar she was holding. "Now, all that is left is to bring this to Father."

"The look in that guys face was priceless." Envy snickered. "Humans really are all too easy to dupe!"

Amity frowned. She wasn't entirely sure what Lust did, or why the man so easily gave her the candy bar. He turned an awful lot of shades of red when the female sin was talking to him…. She turned her gaze back down toward the candy bar. She froze.

"…Amity?" Lust asked, stopping as well; noticing the horrified look on the young girl's face.

"What's wrong now?" Envy groaned, stopping and turning and as well.

Amity gulped. "That's… That's the wrong kind of candy…"

"… What?" Lust spoke, her eyes widening with fear.

"The-The candy we need is called Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar." She murmured, pointing at the candy bar. "That one is called-"

"Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Peanut Caramel Nougat Pecan Blueberry Marshmallow bar" Lust finished, reading off the label; her eyes widening even further.

"W-What do we do now!?" Envy yelped, terror written on his face. "If we don't bring Father back any of his candy, he'll… he'll…"

"Melt us back down into philosopher stone's." Wrath finished grimly.

Amity let out a low whistle. "That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"We can't let this happen." Growled Lust, crushing the candy in her hands. "There must be some way. Something we haven't thought of yet…"

The blunette sighed heavily. Was the entire universe against them getting any Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars, or were they all, including her, just that incompetent? She frowned. There had to be some way to get the candy bars…

A hand clamped down on her shoulder. "Hey sweetheart, miss me?"

Amity saw Wrath reach for the sword on his hip, but was stopped by Lust when she placed her hand on his sword-hand, shooting the Fuhrer a look that clearly told him to wait.

Her curiosity peaked, the fairy turned her head, blinking several times at the speaker. "Greed?"

"Greed, what are you doing here?" Lust asked, narrowing her eyes at the man.

The avaricious sin grinned, though didn't remove his hand from Amity's shoulder. "Hello Lust, looking good as ever I see. Love the outfit." He almost purred, his eyes wandering shamelessly over her form.

"That doesn't answer my question." She repeated, holing up her hand threateningly. Amity gulped, seeing her fingernails grow ever-so-slightly; a warning to Greed, no doubt.

"Easy, easy, you wouldn't want to make a scene in front of all of these people, would you?" He said, making a 'calm down' gesture with his free hand. "I just came to talk to this cute little thing." He spoke looking back over at Amity.

"Well you can forget it and get lost!" Envy snarled, clenching his fists.

"So baby doll." Greed continued as if Envy hadn't even spoken, turning Amity to face him and taking both of her hands in his. "There's going to be a dance competition held later tonight…"

"Oh?" Amity asked uncomfortably, attempting to lean her face away from his. Why did he feel the need to be so close? It was starting to creep her out a little.

He smirked placing his hands on her shoulders, leaning in closer to her ear; so close she could feel his breath on it. "And they're giving away a life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars to the first place winners." He whispered quietly, using the purring tone that Lust had used moment ago on the rubber duck booth owner.

Amity leaned back, her mouth agape. "They're giving away an entire life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars to the first place winners of the dance contest!?" She exclaimed loudly, causing Greed to wince at the volume.

"What!?" Envy, Lust and Wrath shouted. A grumbled of protest could be heard from the still knock-out Pride.

"You know, when a man leans over and whispers something into your ear, he usually wants it to be kept a secret." Greed deadpanned, giving Amity a mildly annoyed look.

"Oh… sorry." She smiled sheepishly, shrugging her shoulders a little. "So, uh, what about the dance?"

Grinning, his hands slowly traveled downward toward her waist. She mentally frowned, wondering why he was so much more cuddly than the other homunculi.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go with me." He whispered huskily. Amity wondered if his throat was dry and was tempted to offer to get him a glass of water.

Thinking about it, she'd never been to a dance before and it did sound like a lot of fun, she smiled brightly at the idea, opening her mouth the reply…

"Wait a second!"

Without further warning, she was roughly pulled away from Greed and into the strong embrace of…

… Envy?

Amity didn't even try to hide her surprise as her mouth gaped open much like a fish. What was he doing?

"We're already going." Envy announced as Amity gawked from her position in his arms; it was much like he pulled her into a backwards hug.

"That doesn't mean she can't change her mind." Greed said, smirking at Envy's jealous display.

"I-"

"She's not going to 'change her mind' she's my Conscience, damn it and she's not going anywhere with the likes of you!" Envy growled.

'Why is he seems to like me more whenever Greed is around?' Amity pondered as the two homunculi continued their verbal spar. She let out a sigh of exasperation. 'It probably has something to do with his jealousy problems...'

"That does it!" Envy roared, pointing a finger at his older brother. "We'll settle this at the dance!"

"A dance off?" Greed snorted dubiously, rolling his eyes. "Like that's never been done before…" He smirked, shrugging his shoulders. "Fine by me then. I'll enjoy humiliating all of you in public- Oh, wait, you don't need me for that." He grinned, giving a two-fingered salute as he sauntered away.

"I loathe him." Envy grumbled, releasing Amity from his death-grip; no longer having an interest in her now that the person who was attempting to steal her was gone.

"An entire life-time of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars…" Lust hummed thoughtfully. "It sounds promising. There are quite a few of us, which may boost our chances of winning…"

"It's our best shot." Amity agreed; though she secretly just wanted to go dance. Pride muttered something in his sleep, almost as if he was in agreeance with her.

The palm tree haired homunculus sighed, running a hand down his face. "Whatever. Let's just go and get this over with; besides I'm itching to finally put that bastard Greed in his place."

.

.

.

"Yeow!" Envy yelped, his foot being stepped on the third time in the span of twenty minutes as he and the other sins (and Amity) attempted to make their way through the crowd to sign their names on the dance contest entry form.

"You'd think they enjoy making utter fools of themselves in public." Pride (now fully conscious) growled, glaring nastily at the humans. He, being the shortest among the group, had been trampled upon, shoved around, and knocked down more times than his delicate ego could handle.

Amity kept quiet. It unnerved her that there were so many people coming to compete for the candy bars. She only knew a couple dances… What if Amestrian dances were complex? What if she let Envy down in front of all of these people. Her eyes widened in horror and she nearly let out a gasp, what if she met that giant mustached ballerina on the dance floor?

"-OK?... Amity? Amity! " Envy yelled, shaking the daydreaming girl by her shoulders.

"Wha-?" She answered unintelligently, blinking at the Pinocchio clad sin, who was scowling at her.

"Go sign me up for this stupid contest. There's no sense in both of us standing in line."

Amity frowned at him. "Why do I have to do it? Why can't you do it?" She scowled.

"Because I still blame you for this whole mess." Envy replied with a pleasant looking smile; though Amity knew his intentions were anything but.

"...Fine." She huffed, watching as the sins retreated toward a park bench, sitting down. Her frown deepened. "Why am I the one who has to do all of the work?" She muttered under her breath.

"He's almost as bad as Sloth." Lust muttered in front of the blunette, glaring at her young brother who grinned cheekily back. "The gall of that boy."

Amity's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You mean, you consider Envy a boy?"

"Of course." Lust spoke as they both took another step forward in the line. " He most certainly isn't an adult by my standards. He must constantly be nagged to clean his room, to not cause unnecessary mischief and so on."

Amity stifled her giggle; Lust was sounding like a mother hen again. It was oddly endearing, actually. Amity supposed that Lust must've had to be a mother of sorts too keep Gluttony and Envy behaving.

Lust turned to look at the fairy over her shoulders, her expression contemplative. "You know, Envy has a point; there's no reason for all of us to be waiting in line."

"...Huh?"

The female homunculus turned fully to face her. "Since you are signing up for Envy, surely you can sign for Gluttony and me as well?" She asked, quirking her eyebrow.

"I-I can?" Amity squeaked.

"Excellent, I leave it in your hands. Come Gluttony."

"Coming Lust."

Amity stood there, her mouth gaping shamelessly. Did Lust just shove all of her work onto her? That wasn't fair!

"Ah, that's a wonderful idea." Wrath said with a smile. "I believe I'll join them; be sure to spell my name correctly."

She watched helplessly as the pirate-clad homunculus walked away. "W-wait!"

Alas, her cries fell upon deaf ears. Wrath did however give her a small wave, not bothering to turn around. She groaned.

"I think I'll join them too."

Whirling around, she starred dumbstruck down at the smirking Pride. "Not you too!" She wailed.

Grinning like the evil child he was, Pride patted her hand. "But I'm too young to be signing my own name for any competitions!" He spoke, flawlessly becoming innocent, sweet Selim.

"...B-But!"

"C'mon Amity, it'll be fun!" He said with false excitement, repeating the very words she told him before the duck game.

And with one final smirk, Pride left, going over and sitting on the bench with his other siblings. She glared viciously at them, only to earn mocking waves in return... Even Wrath was doing it! She turned her head away from them, fuming. Envy should be feeling so guilty for this right now, he started all of this!

It felt like she waited hours on her feet before her turn finally came. She stopped in front of a long table that was set up in the grass. It was well lit by the paper lanterns that were strung all around the park.

"Yes?" The grumpy looking woman asked, tapping the pen she held against her slightly saggy cheek. Amity gulped, trying not to stare at large mole on the woman's face. It would be awfully rude if she look at it too long and - oh sweet Jiminy Cricket, was that a hair growing out of it?!

"Yes?" The woman prodded again agitatedly.

"Oh! Um, I'm here to sign up for the dance contest! ...Actually I'm signing up for my friends too..." She murmured sheepishly, smiling shyly at the lady.

"That's fine." The woman sighed, grabbing some papers from the stack next to her. Amity's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when the woman place a stack of papers the size of Gluttony in front of her. "You'll need to fill these out."

The fairy heard many groans from the people waiting in line behind her.

'My sentiments exactly...'

.

.

.

"Here" Amity huffed, handing each of the homunculi a piece of round paper with numbers on them.

"What are these?" Envy asked, looking at his.

"Our numbers. You peel of the backing and stick them to your shirt. They help identify us when we're dancing." The Conscience explained in a clipped tone. Her entire appearance was disheveled; her hat was on crooked, her hair was bushier than normal and her hand was cramping from all the papers she had to sign.

"What took so long anyway?" Envy prodded, an evil grin on his face.

"What took so long?" The blunette repeated in a deadly calm voice. "What took so long? What the hell do you think took so long!?" She snarled, her canine teeth glinting threateningly in the paper lantern light.

The homunculi all took a step backward.

"Do you have any idea how many freakin' ridiculous questions they ask on those entry forms?!" She screeched, her hair bushing out much like an angry cat's tail. " 'Do you have any past criminal records?' 'Do you have any food allergies? What is your birth year?' 'What is your Zodiac animal?' 'Have you been hospitalized in the past month?' Why do they need to know any of that some something so simple as a dance contest!?"

Lust opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted. "Not only did I have to fill out all those questions for myself, but for you and you and you and you and you!" She seethed, pointing to every homunculus, Envy being the last in line; her eyes narrowed into dangerous, deadly slits when she pointed at him "You are the one that started all of this! Do you have any idea how guilty you should be feeling right now!? Huh!? DO YOU!? I may never get feeling back in my right hand again because of you!"

"I-I-" Envy stuttered, suddenly feeling very afraid under the girl's intense stare. In fact, all the homunculi were.

"And you know what?" She hissed, taking a threatening step forward. The homunculi were all certain they saw their lives flash before their eyes...

"I forgive you!"

Five sets of eyes blinked owlishly. The blue haired girl smiled happily, clasping her hands behind her back. "I mean, it was only a somewhat harmless prank, right? No hard feelings. Let's just let bygones be bygones!" She giggled, looking over her shoulder. "Well, we'd better get to the dance area, the contest will be starting any minute, and we don't want to miss our chance at winning those candy bars!"

Without waiting for a reply, she turned a skipped away; leaving five very dumbfounded homunculi in her wake.

"She's scary..." Gluttony whimpered, hiding behind Lust.

Pride caught himself before he could nod his head in agreement. The sins followed behind Amity, refusing to let their newfound fear show...

Though none came within five feet of her for the whole walk.

.

.

.

"Number 37, Abigail Berkley!"

It was nearing midnight now. Amity watched as the mousy looking woman beamed brightly, running forward from the crowd and joining the line directly across from number 38, her partner Nicolas Ausburn.

The dance was nearing its start and Amity couldn't be more nervous; the dance was entire different than anything she's heard of back home. It starts with two lines of people, the people on the right being even numbers and the people on the left being odd numbers. You and your partner, one with an even number and the other with an odd, join the line and stand facing each other when your name and number is called. Then, once everyone was in their place, the dance would begin.

On the stage where the judges stood, a small example of the dance was given; it looked like a mix between a waltz and a square dance… simple enough, but fast. And, every few minutes, the caller calls 'Switch to your left!' or 'Switch to your right!' and you switch partners with another contestant. By the end of the dance, everyone is back with their original partners.

She gulped, watching another set run up and join the line; she prayed she wouldn't let Envy down; they needed to win those chocolate bars! Envy's very existence hung in the balance here! And if he died, Amity would too!

"Number 23, Edward Elric and number 24, Winry Rockbell!" The announcer called.

Amity smiled, watching the blushing Ed and the beaming Winry make their way into the forming lines. So they entered too? That would be fun to watch.

"Number 17, Amity Spicket and Number 18 Og…Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth…?" The speaker's statement became a confused question.

The air around the fairy dropped ten degrees; Envy slowly turned to face her, scowling. "You didn't…." He seethed.

"Apparently it's difficult for a shape-shifter to come up with his own original alias." Lust stated, looking over at said shape-shifter with exasperation. "Really Envy, it's quite sad."

"It's not like I picked it!" Envy hissed. Amity grabbed his wrist before he could leap over and throttle the mocking Lust, dragging him toward the line.

He grumpily stood in his line, shooting Amity a dirty look; she grinned devilishly back at him, mouthing 'Pay-back'. The Pinocchio impersonator's mouth dropped open; she said she'd forgiven him for making her sign all those papers!

A few more names were called. Amity beamed happily when she saw Alphonse, along with the tinker-bell woman, Riza join the ranks. She figured Riza was probably a bit old for Alphonse, so she must be a friend and not his actual date.

"Number 4 King Fuhrer Bradley who prefers the to be address by his favorite nickname, Cuddlemuffin…" The announcer paled, realizing what he read aloud; as did a certain wrathful sin, who slowly met the Conscience's eyes with horror filled ones of his own. Pride snickered behind him.

Amity, grinning like a Cheshire cat, waved at him just like he had when he pushed his paperwork onto her.

"And Number 3, Selim Bradley who prefers to be called by his favorite nickname, Snookie-bear …"

Pride's face fell, turning a sickly shade of green. 'Snookie-bear?!'

The Conscience, who every sin now fully believed was evil incarnate, smiled and waved happily at the young looking sin as he joined his pretend father in the lines.

Lust was starting to sweat nervously now. Did Amity come up with some horrid name for her as well? The blunette's grin was becoming disconcerting as more and more names were called. Lust was almost begging to the suspense to end.

"Number 33, Madame Bust E. Chest and Number 34, Sir Crunch N. Munch."

Lust slowly turned her gaze down to the number the was wearing on her shirt, praying to whatever deity out there she was mistaken, that her number was not…

33.

She narrowed her eyes at the blunette, wishing she'd never intervened and let Envy kill her when they first met. With her head held high to save whatever dignity she had left, Madame Bust E. Chest made her way into the line, along with her partner, Sir Crunch N. Munch.

Amity chuckled evilly to herself; ah, vengeance was sweet.

A few more names were called and much to Amity's horror, the giant mustached ballerina joined the dance as well.

'What if I end up dancing with him!?' She thought, her blood nearly freezing in terror.

"Thank you all for joining us tonight!" The perpetually cheerfully announcer called out into the crowd of costumed people, beaming happily at them all. "It is our pleasure to have you here!"

Clapping came from most of the dancers, save for the homunculi. The announcer's smiled broadened.

"The dance will start once the music starts to play. As said before, when it's time to switch dance partners, the caller will call 'Switch Right' or 'Switch Left'. We'll chose our winners based on being able to follow these calls, the skill of their dancing and, most of all, the fun they have doing it! Let's begin! Everyone get ready!"

Envy glared at Amity, almost as if he was regretting his choice to come to the dance in the first place. He tensed, almost like one does before a battle.

'Just how is Envy expecting to dance with me anyway?' Amity pondered fearfully, the color draining from her face. Envy wasn't exactly known for being gentle… he'd probably throw her into a bush by accident or something…

The music starting, nearly causing her to jump three feet into the air. It was loud and fast… with a lot of fiddles. Envy moved forward, like all the partners did, putting one arm around Amity's waste. The blunette quickly out her hand on his shoulder and took his other hand with her own.

They broke away from the line, dancing in quick, fast circles. They both danced stiffly and as far apart as they could possibly get.

She managed to catch some of the other couples dancing out of the corner of her eyes. Ed and Winry looked comical dancing together, not only because they were both trying to lead, but also because Ed was so much shorter than his female companion was.

Amity frowned… Were they wearing yet another set of different costumes?

"Why that-!" She heard Envy growl before he pulled her closer; almost too close.

"What?" She asked, looking over her shoulder in the direction Envy was. Greed smirked over at them, dancing with a very pretty young lady who looked as though she was enjoying every second of it more than she should.

"Oh." She sighed. Greed certainly made Envy clingier, that was for sure.

"Ow, don't step on my foot!" Envy hissed.

"Sorry Ogilive." She hissed back.

"I'm going to get you back for that one day." He grumbled, twirling her.

"You deserved it." She huffed, looking away from him.

They both danced in silence a little while longer before Amity chose to speak again. "I just remembered something."

"What?" Envy asked, though he didn't sound like he cared.

"You never did answer my question about the birds and the bees."

Envy blanched, his mouth moving up and down soundlessly. "I-I… umm…"

"Switch to your right!"

Amity heard Envy mutter "Thank god…" Before they broke apart and she was swept away into the arms of a stranger.

"Hello sweetheart." Her new partner purred, pulling her in even closer than Envy had.

Amity sighed in exasperation, looking up at Greed. Oh perhaps, simply just strange?

.

.

.

Lust parted from Gluttony, quietly reminding him not to eat anyone or anything before they did. She twirled elegantly out of her younger brother's hands into the arms of her next partner.

"Solaris!" The man, who was dressed like a frizzy haired female Hogwarts student exclaimed. "Or, um, is it Bus-"

"It's Solaris." Lust quickly corrected. "My friend thought it would be funny to sign me under that other name."

"Oh." He sighed with relief. "I think Solaris suites you better… It's prettier." He mumbled, blushing slightly.

Lust smiled coyly, leaning in closer. "Is my name the only thing that pretty?" She asked.

His blush deepened and he began stuttering incoherent words. Lust smirked.

She supposed things might be more entertaining that she first thought.

.

.

.

'How could this have happened to me?' Pride thought, horror filling his being. 'This… this isn't human! It's… It's fate worse than death!'

"Worry not young Selim, dancing has been in the Armstrong family for generations!"

'How did I get stuck dancing with Major Armstrong?!' Crushed against said Major's chest and swept up off the ground, Pride continued to lament his bad luck. 'My shadow powers don't even work! His sparkles must be canceling them out somehow!'

He growled. 'Wrath's ultimate eye saw him coming too, and he purposely positioned us so I would get stuck dancing with Armstrong instead of him!'

His cheek started to go numb as Armstrong pulled the boy even tighter into his muscled chest, tears streaming down his eyes as he spoke of things Selim didn't really want to listen too.

Squirming a little in Armstrong's iron grip, Selim finally managed to turn his head, getting a glimpse of the traitorous Wrath, who was dancing with…

'What is he doing dancing with my woman?" Pride mentally screamed, baring his teeth as he watched Wrath dance with his teacher, Nancy Monteith.

The arrogant sin narrowed his eyes. This wouldn't do. This wouldn't do at all.

.

.

.

Wrath danced with Miss Nancy. She wasn't a half bad human. Well mannered, polite, she had a good sense of humor and humility as well. She found it an honor to dance with the Fuhrer of the country, which was also a small bonus.

Yes, things were going quiet well… until he felt a chill go down his spine.

Slowly, he turned his head ever so slightly to get a glimpse of the one starring him down in such a cold manner. He was baffled to see Selim glaring with such intense hate, fire was nearly burning in his eyes. Wrath blinked, looking back down at the woman he was dancing with, wondering…

What could have caused such a strange reaction?

.

.

.

Gluttony frowned. He didn't see much point in all this twirling and going around and around in circles. It did nothing for his insatiable appetite; in fact it made it get worse. He whimpered slightly, looking up at the uncomfortable looking blonde girl.

"So, um, I'm Winry." She said with a nervous smile.

"Hello." Gluttony said. He wasn't entirely sure what to say to a human. Lust usually told him what to say to humans he couldn't eat… He sighed. "I can't eat you." He told the girl forlornly.

"…What?" She asked, her eyes widening.

"Lust told me I couldn't." He said. That should explain everything; after all, Lust was always right.

"Eh?" She asked, looking even more confused than before.

"Maybe she will let me eat you later." He hummed thoughtfully to himself.

"EH!?"

.

.

.

Greed pulled Amity even closer, leaning in towards her face. "Really, I don't know why you put up with him." He sighed, obviously referring to Envy.

Amity frowned, attempting inconspicuously pull away from his face. Why did he feel the need to be so close?

Her eyes widened, it was so obvious, why hadn't she thought of it before. Always pulling her closer to him, always leaning in towards her face; his intentions were crystal clear now!

He had poor eyesight!

She smiled to herself. Of course! That explained everything perfectly. She almost felt guilty for trying to lean away from him now.

"So toots, where do you live?" He asked, a small smirk on his lips.

"In a box mostly." She replied.

He stumbled a bit, looking surprised. "In… In a box?"

She shrugged. "Sometimes Envy's pockets if it's more convenient."

…

…

…

"Right."

.

.

.

"Oh crap." Envy groaned, looking at his partner.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Ed roared turning several dark shades of red, realizing he had to dance with another boy.

"I'm here for the Chocolate Cocoa something something bars." Envy sighed. "And would quit trying to lead? That's my job."

"Says who?!" Ed snapped, glaring.

"I'm the tallest one, so naturally…"

"WHO'RE CALLING A MIDGET PINT SIZED SHIRMP!?"

"You." The palm-tree haired homunculus answered simply. "And what's with the costume change? You didn't like be an itty-bitty-kitty?" He cooed, causing Edward to turn nearly purple with rage.

"I was a lion you blind idiot! And this costume was Winry's idea, not mine!"

"So, what are you supposed to be?" Envy asked again.

"W-We're supposed to be the three bears…" He grumbled. "And quit trying to lead!"

"It's my job to lead! And I'm guessing you got stuck with the roll of baby bear then?"

Ed nearly blew a gasket. "I'm the papa bear! Al is the baby bear!"

Envy snickered. "You coulda fooled me. You're more 'baby-sized'."

"WHO'RE YOU CALL SO SHORT THAT A GARDEN KNOME COULD BE TALLER THAN HIM!?"

"Would you quiet yelling, my eardrums are gonna bust!"

"Switch to your left!" The caller announced into the loudspeaker.

And, with sighs of relief, Envy and Ed parted.

.

.

.

"Riza."

"Gracia."

Gracia chuckled nervously as the two attempted to dance in the lest awkward fashion as possible. "So, how have you and Roy been?"

"I've been doing well." The blonde woman in the Tinkerbelle costume replied kindly. "But Roy ate some candy and is now running around the city on a sugar high…"

Gracia blinked. "Shouldn't you go find him then?"

"I would have, but Alphonse didn't have a partner to dance with…" Riza sighed. "I didn't think suits of armor could give puppy-dog eyes, but he managed to do it."

Mrs. Hughes laughed.

.

.

.

Was the entire word conspiring to make his like a living hell? Because it was doing a fine job of it.

"Have you seen this picture of my daughter? Isn't she the most beautiful thing you've ever seen!?"

Envy was certain is should be physically impossible to a man to show you pictures and dance with you at the same time, but this man, Maes Hughes, managed to do it with infuriating ease.

"Oh, it seems I've run out of pictures of my daughter!" He wailed sadly. Envy breathed a sigh of relief.

"So I'll show you pictures of my wife instead!"

He cursed mentally. He swore someday, somehow, he would kill this man.

.

.

.

Lust tried hard not to laugh outright at the boy's expression while they danced; despite the fact it was quiet entertaining. "Are you not enjoying yourself?" She asked, looking down at him.

Edward Elric blushed deep crimson, turning his head away. He was the perfect height too get an eyeful of the woman's large chest if he was to look straight ahead. "I'm fine." He nearly squeaked.

The female sin bit back another laugh. Yes, this night was definitely proving to be more entertaining than she first thought.

.

.

.

"That kid is really starting to creep me out…" Breda muttered under his breath, looking over at the ten-year-old boy with dark hair who was glaring a Breda like he wished for him to spontaneously burst into flames.

Breda's partner, Nancy Monteith, blinked twice, looking over in the direction he was glaring in. "Oh, you mean Selim?"

"You know him?" Breda asked, raising an eyebrow at the lovely woman in his arms.

The teacher nodded, frowning slightly. "I wonder what's gotten into him…"

Breda didn't know, but let out a painful yelp. He was certain for an instant that something bit his foot. But when he looked, there was nothing there besides the ever changing shadows…

.

.

.

"Alphonse!" Amity laughed delightedly, looking up at her new partner.

"Oh, hello Amity! How are you?" The boy asked, twirling her gently.

She smiled, landing back in his arms. "I'm great! I've never been to a dance like this before; the music is so fast!"

Al laughed. "Yeah, I've never been to a dance like this before either."

"Hey, you changed your costume a little… you're wear a pair of bear ears." The blunette pointed out, cocking her head to the side as she looked up at him.

"Oh yeah, this was Winry's idea. We're the three bears." Al explained.

"So, you're the papa bear?" Amity inquired.

"Um, no, I'm the baby bear." He admitted with a hint of embarrassment.

She blinked. "Really? Huh, I thought Ed would've been the baby bear…"

Somewhere on the dance floor, a pint sized midget imploded.

.

.

.

Wrath stared at Jean.

…

…

…

Jean started at Wrath.

Wrath cleared his throat, but said nothing.

Jean shrugged his shoulders a bit.

…

…

…

It was a very awkward dance

.

.

.

"I can't eat you either." Gluttony informed the man he was dancing with sadly.

"Uh… um…" Fuery stuttered, looking down at the pumpkin clad sin. He wasn't sure if the man was joking, or if he was actually serious.

In the end, he decided he didn't want to find out.

.

.

.

"At least things can't get any worse." Falman consoled the love-struck Pride while he glared nastily at Breda.

"Don't say that." Pride hissed. "Whenever people say 'things can't get any worse' they always do!"

"Switch to your right!"

Spinning out of Falman's hands, Pride turned to face his new partner.

"Young Selim Bradley, we meet again!" The tall male cried, pink sparkles filling the air.

"I told yoooooouuuu!" Pride bellowed, once again being swept away into Armstrong's arms.

.

.

.

Envy's eyes widened with horror. "Oh-"

"-Crap." Greed finished, looking down disappointedly at Envy. "Aw man, I was hoping for a hot girl to dance with…"

"Shut up! I'm not enjoying this either!" Envy hissed back, his cheeks reddening with both anger and embarrassment; he attempted to stomp on Greed's foot when his avaricious older brother laughed.

"Easy there Pinocchio." Greed snickered, moving his foot back just in time.

"I am going to rip you limb from limb!" The palm-tree haired homunculus growled. "I swear, one day I will!"

"I'd like to see you try it." Greed scoffed.

"Gladly! Just name the time and place!"

.

.

.

"Havoc, is that you?" Ed asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, it's me…" Jean sighed as Ed took in the frizzy wig and black robe.

"What happened to you?" The alchemist asked, mouth agape.

"I lost a bet and ended up coming as Hermione Granger."

…

…

…

Ed burst into tearful fit of laughter. "And I thought I had it bad!"

"Oh shut up baby bear!"

"I'M PAPA BEAR DAMN IT! I knew I should've made Alphonse wear a bib…"

.

.

.

"Why must you haunt me in this realm?!" Amity wailed. "I know you're upset that Harry killed you, but I did try to warn you it would happen! But did you listen to me? No, you were certain that since you were the 'Dark Lord' you could handle anything!"

Her partner was dumbstruck into silence, not knowing what to even say.

"Cross over to the other side in peace!"

Yes, Vato Falman was indeed regretting coming as Lord Voldemort.

.

.

.

"You're majesty King Fuhrer Bradley." Riza spoke politely, bowing her head since she could not salute.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye." Wrath spoke in acknowledgement.

…

…

…

"Where is Colonel Mustang? I presumed he was here with you." The human based homunculus; he noticed the young woman blush.

"It's quite a long story, sir."

.

.

.

Lust looked down at the blonde girl; Winry Rockbell, if she recalled correctly.

"So…" The blonde girl started, keeping as far away from Lust as possible while they danced.

"This is very…"

"Awkward?"

"My thoughts exactly."

.

.

.

Many sighs of relief were released when the called shouted. "Switch to your left!"

.

.

.

"Envy!"Amity exclaimed with relief, finding herself back into his arms.

"Amity." Envy said, looking serious. "If I'm dancing with you, that must mean the contest is nearly over…"

The fairy's blue eyes widened. "You're right! This is our last chance to impress the judges!"

"Right." The homunculus spoke determinedly.

Before she knew it, Amity found herself spinning around faster and faster in circles. Envy twirled, spun and danced with her unlike she'd ever experience before, he even lifted her up into the air once! Both were focused on dancing their best. And Amity became so focused, she didn't notice that in her next spin, she accidently stuck her foot out…

And accidently kicked Gluttony in the butt.

The force knocked the pudgy sin over, which in turn knocked Lust over. Lust knocked down Ed, Ed toppled over Winry who brought Alphonse to the ground… and the chaos just kept going.

"It's like human domino's…" Envy mused aloud; both he and Amity stopped dancing since, at some point and time, the band had been knocked over as well.

Soon, he and Amity were the only two left standing in a sea of toppled over people.

"Um… Well…" The called began, looking lost as to what he should say. No one saw Amity accidently kick Gluttony, so it all looked like a rather strange accident. "Well… Since number 17 and 18 are still standing, I suppose they're the winners…?" He asked the panel of judges, who all nodded their heads in agreement after quickly discussing amongst each other. "Congratulations number 17, Amity Spicket and number 18 Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth! You are the winners of our 15th annual Hallows End Dance Competition!"

Envy and Amity froze, processing the announcers words.

"We won?" Envy asked, his tone carefully even.

"Yeah… I think we did…" Amity spoke, dazed.

…

…

…

"We won!" Amity cheered, wrapping her arms around Envy's neck.

Envy, who was in such a state of overwhelming joy, hadn't noticed the fairy hugging him tightly. Grinning, he punched his fist into the air, Amity still clinging to his neck. "WE WON!"

.

.

.

Envy liked the feeling of being onstage, above all the other pathetic, miserable humans; he was even higher than his siblings! He also enjoyed the fact that he was wearing a nice, 1st place ribbon on his Pinocchio shirt. Amity looked happy too, waving enthusiastically at the other sins as well as Edward, Winry and Alphonse.

Envy saw Greed standing the crowd, pouting like the sore loser her was. Envy grinned and stuck his tongue out at him.

Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed being superior.

"And now we present you with a life-time supply of Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars!" The announcer man spoke joyfully. The red curtain behind the stage was pulled back, revealing the mountain of chocolate that Father demanded them to bring.

Envy grinned; and it would be him that took all the glory for bringing so many to Father. It would be he that received the praise.

"Not so fast!" A voice echoed from around them.

A gasp came from the crowd, pointing at the massive pile of chocolate bars. "Look!"

Envy turned, looking up at the top of the mountain of chocolate. His mouth dropped open. "Is that…?"

"Colonel Mustang, get down here this instant!" Riza commanded from the crowd, marching toward the foot of the pile and glaring at the Flame Alchemist up on it.

"Cowabunga!" The boxer clad and chocolate smeared Roy called, sliding down the pile like he was surfing, landing skillfully at the bottom. "There's gonna be a bonfire tonight!" The sugar-high man announced.

Envy blinked. Where did he get those gloves…? His eyes widened with realization.

"Oh-"

SNAP!

"Nnnnnoooooo!" Envy screamed, watching in slow motion at the Colonel Mustang lit the massive mountain on fire.

"Put it out put it out put it out!" Envy yelled, running around the pile like a chicken with its head cut off.

"Somebody call the fire department!" Lust ordered, marching over and attempting to help put out the fire.

Amity watched helplessly from the sidelines as their work literally went down in flames.

"Colonel!" Riza barked again, grabbing his by the earlobe and yanking down hard. "What do you think you're doing!?"

"We're gonna roast marshmallows!" He replied, gesturing proudly to the fire with both of his arms. "Just like when we were kids, you use ta love it!"

"… Colonel, you are sugar-drunk." Hawkeye sighed. "You always get like this when you're allowed to consume sugar…"

"I'm not as think you drunk I am." He replied smartly, sticking his tongue out at her. There was a pregnant pause; Roy cocked his head to the side. "Has anyone ever told you, you are one hot babe?"

Riza's mouth dropped open in shock; which turned out to be a big mistake as the chocolate covered Roy wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug, kissing her passionately on the mouth.

She squeaked, desperately trying to peel away from the sugar-crazed man. A bright flash of light blinded her momentarily.

"This one's a keeper!" Maes announced happily, looking up from his camera and earning a glare from Riza.

"I'm not getting in the middle of that." Jean announced, watching as their commanding officer made out with the less than willing 1st Lieutenant.

"Me neither." Breda agreed.

Fuery shook his head."Nope."

Falman sighed. "It'd be suicide to even try…"

"Such passionate love!" Armstrong sobbed, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Traitors!" Riza managed to yell before Roy captured her lips with his own once more.

.

.

.

"It's gone…" Envy croaked, looking down at the small pile of ash; the remnants on a once great mountain of chocolate. "All of it… nothing survived…"

Everyone had long gone from the park. All the stands had been shut down and moved. The firefighters did all they could to put out the fires, and managed to keep them from spreading. But, alas, the chocolate didn't survive.

"I'm sorry." Amity mumbled sadly, patting him on the shoulder. She didn't really know what else to say; all the words she could think of seemed inadequate for the situation.

Lust sighed, turning her head away from the pile. "It's over for us… we've failed."

"Father will be disappointed." Pride said, terror clearly written on his face. "I've never… I've never disappointed him before! I… I don't feel well… I'm not meant to be the disappointing one! That's what you are all for!"

Pride went ignored. Gluttony whimpered, hiding behind Lust. "I don't want Father to get mad at me…"

Wrath pinched the bridge of his nose. "I have half a mind to demote Colonel Mustang after such a shameful display."

Things grew quiet after that, each homunculus silent mourning their own demises.

Needless to say, it was a long, silent walk back home.

.

.

.

"Where are my Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars?" Father asked, glaring menacingly down at his children.

Lust cleared her throat. "Father, there were some… unexpected turn of events…"

Envy hid in the back of the group while Lust attempted to explain that nights events so he could be the first to escape if (when) things got ugly.

"So, in other words, you, my glorious creations who are superior to humans every way shape and form, failed a task as simple as collecting my favorite treat?" Father asked, his voice deadly calm.

The homunculi all winced at the tone. "Father…" Pride began.

"Perhaps I should've sent my mindless zombie army instead!" He bellowed, shaking the room to its core. "At least they might have produced some results!"

"Hey everyone!" Amity called, beaming happily.

"Amity, now is not the time for-" Envy began, but was cut off by the blunette.

"Guess what I found in my hat!" She grinned, holding her top- hat in her hands. "Uh, besides my stuffed frog Norman.

…

…

…

"Inside your hat?" Lust deadpanned.

"Yes, my hat." Amity repeated, her grin not even fading.

"A white rabbit?" Envy asked sarcastically.

"Nope." She giggled. "Any other guesses?"

"Amity, we don't have time for-" Pride started.

"Oh, believe me, you'll find time for this." The Conscience spoke; a mischievous look in her eyes. "Ta-da!"

And there, in her hands was none other than a Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bars.

Envy's mouth dropped open. "Where did you get…?"

"Remember that game I told you I played coming back from the restroom? I won this bar there, remember!" Amity grinned even broader. "We left to go play more games, so I put this candy-bar in my hat for safe keeping!"

"Bring it to me." Father commanded.

Slowly, Amity walked over toward the blonde man, stretching her arm out and handing him the candy bar. Father reached for the bar, taking it from the fairy's delicate hands. He unwrapped it, revealing the chocolate substance underneath the wrapper. Then he slowly raised it to his lips, biting down…

Tears came to his eyes, flowing down his cheeks. "Excuse me, but I need to be alone." He choked, looking dreamily at the candy bar.

The homunculi fled the room, relief washing over them in waves. They lived! They survived Halloween!

Amity turned toward the group, shutting the doors to Fathers room behind her. "Well-"

Whatever she was going to say was drown out when Lust, Wrath, Gluttony, Pride and Envy pounced her, wrapping their arms around her and forming the biggest homunculi made group hug in existence.

"I take back everything I ever said about you!" Envy sobbed, squeezing her tightly. "You are the most wonderful Conscience a homunculus could hope for!"

"I'll never wish to let my shadows eat you again!" Pride cried.

"And I won't daydream about running my fingernails through your heart."

"And I'll let you call me Wrathbeard whenever you like."

Amity grinned happily. In the end, everything turned out all right!

… But she couldn't help but feel like they were forgetting something…

.

.

.

Sloth woke up in a bleary daze, glancing around at his surroundings. He wondered for a second why he wasn't in his tunnel and why there were colorful little boxes stacked all around him.

He yawned, closing his eyes and falling back asleep. Oh well, it probably wasn't important anyway…

.

.

.

Author's Note

…

…

…

.Gosh.

HAS IT BEEN A MONTH ALREADY!?

Well, so much for 'I hope to have this uploaded by next week' huh?

I am so, so ,so ,so sorry! I have a bunch of excuses, but I'll only say that times flies way too fast,

life is weird, and I happen to have a PhD in procrastination….

So, I hope you all aren't too angry with me… Heh heh….

So,so sorry everyone! *bows head in shame*.

All tips, comments and critiques are welcome if anyone is willing to offer it.

I appreciate any help I can get with my writing :)

~Fyuro

.

.

.

A Special Thanks to Reviewers Like You!

"Pop quiz! Who knows how many pages long this chapter was, not counting this bonus skit?"

Lust, Pride, Wrath and Envy all groaned. Gluttony looked at his siblings, wondering what was wrong.

Envy sighed. "Amity, nobody cares about that."

The blunette pouted. "Why are you all such spoil-sports?" Sighing, she placed her hands on her hips. "Fine, since none of you want to guess, the answer is 43."

"… The author wrote 43 pages of senseless garbage?" Pride asked, his eyes twitching.

"43 pages of grammatically incorrect senseless garbage." Wrath added.

"Hey, the author is working on it!" The Conscience valiantly defended her creator.

"Where are we anyway?" Lust asked, gazing upon the blank white nothingness that surrounded them.

"The Void." Wrath, Pride and Envy answered with distaste.

"… Why are we in 'the Void'?" She inquired, raising a delicate eyebrow.

"To answer our reviewers!" Amity spoke cheerily, holding a stack of paper in her hands.

"Reviewers?" Lust asked, both eyebrows nearly disappearing in her hair line.

"Can I eat that?" Gluttony asked, receiving a sharp 'No' in reply from Amity. "There's nothing to eat in here." He whimpered, sucking on his own finger.

"Alright, let's get onto the first one!" The fairy beamed, pulling out the first review.

"Oh, this is wonderful! *tugs on Envy's hair* Really? It's sensitive?
*Hands everyone chocolate* Here's your Halloween chocolate! I hope you like it!
Oh! Envy, I saw someone dressed as you for Halloween! It was awesome! I talked to them and then I tugged on his hair because I didn't know it was a wig... I feel so dumb.
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapter! This is hilarious to read!"

~ Chubaca Thomas Jefferson III

"Would you people leave my hair alone!?" Envy barked, using his hands to flatten his dark locks down. "And yes, my hair is sensitive."

"Thank you for the chocolate!" Amity thanked, taking her own candy. "We really needed that after everything that happened tonight."

"Don't remind me." Pride growled, taking a bite of his candy bar.

"Chubaca saw someone dressed up as me for Halloween?" Envy asked with peaked interest. "Can't say I've ever heard of that before."

"I hope you're satisfied with this chapter." Amity laughed, finishing off her own candy.

Wrath sighed. "Considering everything we had to do, they had better be…"

"Onto our next review!"

"Aw man I love this story so fudgin much! XD Whenever I see you posted a new chapter I feel like a happy dance is in order. Keep up the awesome and hilarious work :3

Oh and PS I love Amity! She's always so happy and optomistic when the Sins are so...is dark the right word? It's a great twist on everything"

~GoldenxDreamer

"Nice to know you are enjoying the story." Amity beamed. "And people like me!"

"Only because they don't have to put up with you." Envy snorted. "They'd be singing a different turn if they had to be with you 24/7."

Amity glared at him. "Hey, you guys are no picnic either!"

"I believe dark is the correct word when used to describe us." Lust spoke, reading the review over Amity's shoulder.

"Especially me." Pride grinned.

"Next one!"

"CUTE!
i love the little halloween bonus material, it's cute!
aww, Envy in a pinochiio costume
QUICK! someone with awesome artistic skills should draw him like this and upload it immediately! O.O

Amity, i have a question:
do you think you have gotten Envy to open up to you in one way or another?

sexy Palm-tree i also have a questions
what would you prefer?
getting glomped/harassed/raped by various fangirls at once, or getting glomped/harassed/raped by Edward? o.O
love this story!"

iAnneart01

Envy turned a shade of purple, his eye twitching. "I-If I had to choose…. Wha…."

"Envy… Envy… Breath!" Lust commanded, noticing that he had quit doing so.

THUNK!

"He collapsed!" Amity wailed, looking down at the fainted Envy.

"I suppose the mental images were too much for him to handle." Wrath sighed, watching as Lust attempted to shake the palm-tree impersonator awake.

"Umm... I guess while Lust tries to revive Envy, I'll answer my question. " The fairy began. "I do think he's changed a teeny-tiny-little-itty-bitty-bit… but I think that's mostly because since he can't kill me, he has to adapt."

"I-I can see a light at the end of the tunnel…" Envy murmured in his incapacitated state.

"Envy! Listen to me, don't go to the light!" Lust called dramatically, shaking him by the shoulders.

"Um… I'll read the next review."

"I laughed so much while reading your story and every chapter you write bring me joy x)

Sereously though, cant wait for the nect chapter x3

Fuzzy Fuzzball

P.S. *enters the void through magic portal, stalks up to envy woth an evil ( & sadistic) grin on her face...

And messses up his hair!*
SO FLUFFY PALMTREE HAIR 3333"

~Cute Fuzzball

"DON'T MESS WITH THE HAIR!" Envy roared, hopping to his feet.

"Thanks Cute Fuzzball! Apparently, messing up his hair is the key to his revival!" Amity cried happily.

"Why must you all touch my hair?" Envy hissed. "I don't use portals, sneak up on you and fluff your hair! Why are reviewer's obsessed with mine?!"

Lust sighed, putting a hand on his shoulders. "Envy, it's better not to question the motives of the readers. It will only bring heartache and headache."

"We're so glad you're enjoying the story and we hope you liked this chapter… Again, the author apologizes for taking so long to write it. Now, let's move on to the next review…"

"*Stares at box that has N.R in it, smiles evily* I know just what to do! *Takes off stamps, re-paints box and puts a sticker that says 'TOMATOES' in big read letters. Goes into a forest and sets it down next to another box that looks exactly it, sets up camera* This will be great! Thanks for giving me the idea, now I'll have more blackmail later! If you need help makeing cookies i could send some over, that might help. *sends* hope you get them soon! My friend Izah says hi. :O)"

Kashagal and Natures Ruler

"Thank you for the cookies! This'll help pay our rent fees!" Amity laughed, taking the box of cookies and setting it down on the 'floor' of the void.

"We're glad to assist you in black-mail." Envy said proudly.

"I just hope that N.R arrived safely and without too many head injuries…" The blunette said worriedly, chewing on her lower lip and fidgeting with her hands.

"You really are pathetic." Pride sighed, giving the fairy a look of exasperation.

Amity shrugged her shoulders. "I can't help it, it's who I am. Thank you for the review, and tell Izah hello for us! Next review coming up!"

"Amity and Envy would be such a cute couple!"

~Neusuada

…

…

…

Envy blinked.

…

…

…

Amity blinked.

…

…

…

And then she blinked again.

…

…

…

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Envy screeched, scampering away from the review as though it might bite him. He made an 'x' with his fingers. "Burn the review! Burn it!"

Amity turned pink. "O-Oh… Um… That's a very n-nice… um… review…"

Lust smiled lavishly. "You know, you two would make an excellent couple." She teased.

"Are you kidding?!" Envy shrieked. "We're always trying to kill each other!"

"Actually, you're the one who tries to kill me-"

"The death threats and arguments are just way to hide your burning, undying passion for one another." Pride explained sardonically; a wicked grin forming on his face.

Envy turned purple. "P-P-P-P-PASSION!? Are you insane!?"

"Next review!" Amity squeaked, her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"This was a really good bonus chapter I loved it I also love all of this story. Amity you can do it. You can change Envy I believe in you. Also Envy you are so cool. I just love love love you. Excuse me but I am a very huge sadist. My family even agrees with me. One more thing since your duck tape got stolen Envy I give you this portable portal that has an unending supply of duck tape. Sorry world I salute you for the end.
P.S. Envy I also give a really big...dun.. ... CHOCOLATE CAKE!"

~Darkx1xAngel

"There are sadists everywhere you turn." Envy grumbled. "But at least you're willing to admit it."

"Thank you for the words of encouragement!" Amity beamed. "I'll do my best, believe me!"

"I am cool." Envy bragged. "And thank you for your gifts of duct-tape and portable portal." He grinned, holding the portal-portal in his hand. "See you around losers!" He pressed the button on the box…

And nothing happened.

"What the…" Envy turned the box upside down. "What do you mean 'batteries not included'!?"

Amity giggled. "At least you have this chocolate cake." She attempted to console, holding up the large cake in her hands.

"…I suppose that does ease the pain of disappointment. "Envy conceded, taking the cake from Amity.

Grinning while his hands were full, Amity dashed over, taking Envy's unending supply of duct tape. Quicker than lightning, she drew a transmutation circle around the pile, placing her hands on the circle. The duct-tape disappeared without a trace.

"What did you do?!" Envy wailed mournfully. "You shouldn't even be able to do alchemy!"

"How am I supposed to change you if my mouth is duct-taped shut?" She asked with a huff. "So, I decided to trade your unending supply of duct-tape for something else."

"If it's magic beans, I swear-"

"You'll see later." She winked. "Onward to the next review!"

"Nnooooo! Not kimbley! T-T (no offense but for some odd unknown reason I just don't like kimbley...AT ALL!) and great chapter! Hahah! Chocolate! :3. What type of candy does Envy like? And Wat about amity? (I'll try to hold back my fangirl side...) *...hugs Envy* I can't help it! He's just wayyyy! Toooo cute!"

~Chencar

"Kimblee is pretty … unusual." Lust spoke. "So I can see why you may not like him…"

" And my favorite candy is chocolate, actually." Envy spoke, licking his lips.

The fairy frowned thoughtfully. "Cat-food probably doesn't count as a type of candy, so my favorite kind of candy is caramel! Especially chocolate with caramel inside! Yum!"

"I wish people would quiet hugging me…" Envy groaned, smoothing the wrinkles out of his clothing.

"I would like a hug…" Amity sighed.

"I'd give you mine if I could."

"Your fans wouldn't be too happy with that." Amity giggled. "Besides, you need all the hugs you can get! Next review!"

"Yay an update!:D

I am so glad you made a Halloween chapter and dressed up the homunculi! XD Happy belated birthday by the way :)

What made this chapter even better is that there is another part coming after this one :D

Envy has a name change I see... Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth. I love you Amity! XD!

But Envy, it could be worse! You could be stuck with the Winny the Pooh outfit (sorry Pride...)

Thanks for the super long chapter! I can't wait for more! :D

Scarlet"

ScarletNinja1026

"The author thanks you for the birthday wishes!" Amity chimed happily. "And thank you for the love! I need as much of it as I can get when living with a bunch of grumpy people like these guys."

"My name change is not funny!" Envy snapped. "It's.. . it's a crime against naming!" He stopped to snicker. "Though I admit I'd rather be Pinocchio than Winnie the Pooh!"

"I didn't choose that costume for myself!" Pride snapped.

"No, the Haaaaaand of Faaaaate did." Amity said, putting on her best 'Madame Rosa' accent. "And, in the words of our favorite costume shop owner, Tiiime for the neeeext reeevieeeew!"

"This might be the longest review I've had on here, but I'm proud of it!

Father has a good taste in candy,

Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin sounds like an awesome bar.

I want minions now, do you think anyone would mind if I kidnapped the homunculi and made them my minions? We could take over the world!

I think I might have said something similiar before but I will say it again, Wrath Pirate Epicness

Armstrong as a ballarina...it's scary that it doesn't sound like something he wouldn't do...

Envy! She could have named you Gaylord Athanasius Von Bosworth De Augsburg.

Aww...Pride is so adorable in his costume!"

~Ikarai

"Alas, we'll never know how a Chocolate Cocoa Crispy Almond Caramel Nougat Coconut Raspberry Pumpkin bar tastes." The blunette lamented. "And yes!" She cried, her eyes gleaming brightly as sparkles danced around her. "Wrath is the most epic pirate of all time!"

Wrath coughed awkwardly. "Yes… Thank you Amity."

Lust shuddered. "The image of Armstrong in a tutu will forever be embedded into my mind…"

"… I have suddenly gained a fondness for Ogilive…" Envy spoke.

"… I can't decide if I should be furious or flattered at that comment." Pride frowned, re-reading the review.

"Alright! Next review!"

"I love the idea of halloween, totally awesome. My first full metal alchemist oc story I've read! I love sexy Envy (but i would never ever get caught being called a fangirl).Q and A time, Miss Spicket, did you know, that a human/fairie eats approximately a pound of bugs (not including ones processed in food) a year, also cats eat more since they see bugs as something to eat, so that cat most likely saw you as food. Thirdly, did you know cat food is food that cats eat, when they are kept as humans pets.
Envy, Ahh the best sin even the holiest of priests feel it! Favorite animal?
Pride, smexy pride, what was your most prideful moment?
Lust, who do you lust for.
Wrath, favorite hat, yes hat.
Gluttony, favorite meal?"

Lawliette

"And, as usual, people love me." Envy boasted, much to Pride's annoyance.

"Alright, questions! Um…. No, I didn't know that people eat one pound of bugs every year…" She shuddered. "Gross! Um… Okay, so that cat thought I was a bug… But that doesn't mean I have to like cats! And how could humans feed something as delicious at cat-food to cats! It's horrible!"

"My favorite animal?" Envy asked, blinking. He snickered. "Actually, my favorite animal is cats… but I also like snakes… and dragons… dragons are awesome."

"I'm… smexy?" Pride blinked owlishly.

"I suppose you are for a ten year old." Lust commented dryly.

The arrogant sin glared at her. "I'm over 300 years old. And my most prideful moment constantly changes. But currently, it's when Miss Monteith said I wrote the best essay in the entire class."

Wrath raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why would you care about something as insignificant as that?"

"There's a more pressing question at the moment: What does Lust lust for?" Pride asked, narrowly dodging a question he really didn't want to answer.

"The same thing every woman does," Lust spoke, a coy smile play on her lips. "Chocolate."

"Okay Wrathbeard, what is your favorite hat?" Amity asked.

"I see no reason to tell you." The Fuhrer responded coolly.

"100 Sens says it's a Sombrero." Envy whispered into the Conscience's ear, causing her to giggle.

"Or a pirate hat." She whispered back.

"My money's on one of those beanie hats." Pride snickered.

"What about those chef's hats?" Lust suggested, smirking.

"For your information, I prefer the hats worn by the military for formal occasions." Wrath finally admitted.

"That's boring." Envy sighed in disappointment.

"Gluttony, what is your favorite meal?" Lust asked.

"My favorite thing to eat?" Gluttony began salivating at the thought. "Little girls!"

Amity turned a sickly shade of green. "L-Little girls...?"

"Does that include fan-girls?" Envy asked, leaning over slightly.

Gluttony nodded.

"Gluttony, ol' buddy ol' pal of mine!" Envy cried, opening his arms wide and hugging the chubby sin.

"There's nothing quiet as sweet as brotherly love. " Amity sighed happily. "Next!"

"Wow. Wowowowowowowowowowwow...This has to be the best fanfic I have ever read. It brings a certain song to mind...
Boys and girls of every age,
wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
Homunculi dressed for Halloween!(wink)
Yeah!
Amity, you so totally rock!
Watch out for Barry the Chopper. He could easily 'chop' you when you're not tall. Friendly advice for Envy:
1, since your power is shapeshifting, your greatest strength is manipulation. 'Fullmetal Pipsqueak' is more than a match for you... unless you were to shift into the form of his younger brother...
2, Alphonse (the armor guy, Amity) loves cats. Give yourself green cat ears and tail and he won't have the heart to kill you. In fact, he might adopt you and give you...cat food!
3, DON'T KILL HUGHES! Colonel Roy Mustang will fry your eyes, your face, your skeleton, even your HAIR. And I know how much you love your hair...
4, Finally, (this is an open invitation to all Homunculi who're annoyed at their Father)I am planning to take over the world. Interested?

U. N. Noun"

~ Guest

"Don't encourage the author! It's… It's like giving Colonel Mustang a truck-load of sugar! It is dangerous to our health!"

"I like the song, I can almost hear it in my head!" Amity laughed. "This story needs a theme song! And thank you for the praise! I'll be sure to keep an eye out for Barry."

"I could beat the pipsqueak blindfolded!" Envy scoffed "Humans are no match for homunculi!"

"Alphonse has cat food?" Amity asked, drooling at the thought. "Aw man, why couldn't I have been his Conscience?!"

"Thanks for the warning, but I'll take my chances. Besides, how could possibly even know all this? There are no such things as psychics…"

"Why can't you just take the warning and thank the reviewer?" Amity huffed, placing her hands on her hips.

"I don't need help from humans!"

"We will take your offer of world conquest into mind, however. After tonight, I'm beginning to doubt Father's capabilities... And sanity." Wrath spoke.

"Let's move onto the next review!"

"Oh my garsh... this story is just lovely.
Even though Envy isn't my fav homunculus, he's pretty cool in this story.
And Pride is soooooooo adorable! But he's also really badass, so he's like two characters in one! :D
I actually have 3 questions for Amity:
First, do you have any fetishs?
If not, would you want it to be any kind of metal?
It'd actually be pretty cool if this story ended up as a AlxAmity, I'd so support that."

HomunculusInsanity

"Glad you like the story!" Amity beamed happily.

"I am still cool… even though I'm not your favorite…. Your favorite had better not be Greed, by the way, or I will have to hunt you down."

"Envy, quit scaring the reviewers!" Amity scolded, smacking him upside the head. "And now for your questions… uh, wow, all for me? I'm flattered! Um, do I have any fetishes? Well…" Amity tapped her chin in thought. "Do teddy bears count? I don't know why, but I'm can't resist them!"

"I guess that could count." Lust relented.

"Actually, I think about what kind of metal I would want to be a lot. And if I could any kind of metal, it would be tin! Because then I could be a pie tin and hold all the pies!"

"… Pie tins are made of aluminum, you realize." Envy spoke with raised eyebrows.

"Wh-what?" She gasped, tears forming in her eyes.; she dropped to her knees and cried out. "No! My dreams have been foiled!"

"Tin foiled." Pride snickered.

"Ha ha ha." Amity laughed dryly. "… What is an AlxAmity?"

"It's a pairing." Lust explained.

"A pairing? Like me and Envy?"

"Envy and I." Pride corrected.

Amity's eye went impossibly wide. "But you're brothers! You can't be romantically involved!"

Envy and Pride turned dark red. "Oh, the mental images you just put into my head!" The palm-tree one cried, covering his eyes with his hands in hopes to block them out.

"You are sick!" Pride hissed. "I was correcting your grammar, you idiot!"

"Oh." Amity sighed. "Well that's a relief! So, does this AlxAmity and EnvyxAmity have anything to do with the birds and the bees?"

Lust chuckled darkly only. "Only if it's a lemon fic… or rated 'M'."

"What a love triangle that would be." Wrath chuckled alongside Lust, much to Envy's horror.

"Triangles? 'M's? Lemons? What does that have to do with birds and bees?" Amity asked, completely baffled. "They have nothing in common!"

Envy ripped a review out of Amity's hands. "I'll read the next review!"

""Ogilive Von Gopperbottom the Fourth!"
I just about laughed till I cried XD

Speaking of which, this fic has made me burst out laughing more than any other fic I've read in a while. The idea of Envy having a pocket sized conscence nattering at him is...*shakes head laughing* utterly priceless! And watching him get mauled by fangirls at the end of every chapter...just wow xD I can't say I blame him for going OOC. Amity is lovable. I am torn and confused as to her hair color, since until the most recent chapters I thought she was a brunette lol it's possible I just misread blunette *shrug* although blue and green are my two favourite colours so I can't complain lol. I am quite looking forward to more! sadistic? Meh, not as much as Envy. Who, by the way, I feel quite sorry for. Amity and fangirls. It's like his own tailor made version of hell lol. Id join in on the fun but I can't bring myself to go fangirl on a guy who would rather torture me to death than look at me :P
That said, ive had to accept that a strange twisted part of me has slowly grown to really quite like a certain psychopathic, sadistic, murderer...he's decidedly the best, most interesting and entertaining villain in FMAB.
Pride, I have to admit, you're pretty darn cute, but unfortunately you'll never be able to hold a candle to Wrath from the 2003 anime. At least not for me anyway
Wrath from Brotherhood will never be the same...I will forever see the ghost of a parrot on his shoulder xD
Lust...of all the characters I strangely find her the most in-character. But you've done an awesome job with Envy too. He's a tough character to write.
I'm sure I'm forgetting something...oh!
Dr Seuss Homunculi epic win. I don't know where you came up with the idea but it's awesome xD
Please keep writing this story! It's really enjoyable :)
*tosses earplugs to Envy, cat food to Amity and chocolate chip cookies to Truth*
Enjoy!
P.S. earplugs, while less satisfying, are easier to use than duck tape lol"

~Kasani

"Awesome, super long review!" Amity cheered all thoughts of birds and bees gone, much to Envy's upmost relief.

"I'm so glad you find my misery amusing." Envy spoke with heavy sarcasm.

"We're so glad you find this story entertaining." Amity said with her usual bright smile. "And sorry about confusing you with my hair color. Yes, I do have blue hair. And the author has written 'blunette' throughout the story, not 'brunette'… even though blunette isn't even a word…."

"You explained it perfectly; this story is my own tailor made version of hell." Envy said with a sigh.

"It can't be that bad…" Amity mumbled quietly.

"That's because you're not me. And I appreciate you not fangirling me! In fact, if I were to meet you on the street, I would give you a painless death because of it."

"Envy!"

"What? It's better than what I'm planning on doing to those fan-girls once I get a hold of them!"

Pride looked between the review and Wrath. Incredulously "I don't care what 'version' he is. There is no way he can be cuter than me!"

"Wrath will forever be a pirate." Amity sighed, saluting him.

Wrath sighed exasperatedly, but saluted the fairy back anyway.

"I'm glad you find me in character." Lust said, reading the review. "Speaking on the author's behalf, she was worried I was actually very out of character… in the actual story, not these silly Halloween skits and bonus chapters."

"Yeah… the person Fyuro has the hardest time writing for actually is Wrath."

"Me?" Wrath asked.

"She just can't seem to get your character down. That's why you're pretty useless throughout most of the chapters."

"We will never speak of Dr. Seuss again." Pride said with finality. "It will forever remain a secret."

Three loud pops ensued shortly after. Revealing a set of earplugs in Envy's hands, a small bag of cat-food in Amity's and another small package of cookies for Truth.

"Thank you!" Amity sang, pulling out a handful of cat-food and shoving it into her mouth. "Mmm… 9Lives, my favorite!"

The homunculi all turned pale shades of green, averting their eyes as she continued to munch. "And –I'm only going to say this one time – thank you for the earplugs." Envy thanked gruffly, shoving them into his pocket.

"Onward to our final review!" Amity cried dramatically, placing a hand over her heart.

"Haha! This is awesome! Amity is really one of the best OCs I've read about.
Keep up with the good work! :D
(*snicker* Wrathbeard. Genius!)"

~Joselyn

Amity nearly glowed with joy. "Thank you so so much!"

"And don't worry, Fyuro isn't done torturing us any time soon." Envy sighed.

Lust shook her head. "It's ridiculous what we've been reduced to."

"Now that the reviews are over." Envy began, turning to the fairy. "Give me back my duct-tape."

"I traded it to Truth." She sighed again.

"For what!?"

She snickered evilly. "In 3… 2… 1…"

POOF!

Smoke filled the room, causing everyone to cough and gag as it filled their lungs. Slowly, it faded, revealing Envy…

In a Winnie the Pooh costume.

"Amity…" He growled through grit teeth., clenching his now yellow furred hands into fists.

"Yes?"

"Run."

Grinning, she cast a two-fingered salute at the reader's computer screens. "Thanks for reading Fyuro's Halloween bonus chapter! I'll let Lust take it from here!" She winked before dashing off into the distance, followed by a screaming Envy.

Sighing, the lascivious sin turned toward the screens of the viewers. "The author appreciates any help, tips and critiques she can get for her atrocious writing. Review, or we will use Gluttony to hunt you down and allow him to devour you whole."

Gluttony grinned, drool dripping from his mouth and pooling onto the floor

"That's all for now, thank you for reading."

.

.

.

This chapter was 55 pages long and had over 20, 800 words.

For the sake of my poor cramping fingers and burnt eyeballs…

REVIEW!

Thanks again!