After they ate, Nick insisted that they return to their room so they could dress for the day. Ellis seemed unwilling at first, but eventually he had given in. Honestly though, Ellis only resisted because he didn't want to give Nick any reason to suddenly get cold feet. Nick needed to stifle this vicious guilt he had been destroying himself with. It was consuming him. It had to end; Ellis was determined.
And dressed now they stood side by side in an enormous room that was plastered with pages and pages and pages of names. On one wall was titled in big clear lettering; New Orleans Evac. Survivors: Vessel One—underneath it spelt hundreds of names—maybe a couple thousand or more—Vessel Two—the same, and a third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, all the way through twenty-six. The last four ships had no names underneath it.
The names under Vessel Fourteen—their ship—were all handwritten. Each name had its own distinct curve and flow. Behind each name was a Survivor. It was oddly comforting, but at the same time, Nick knew that he would find only three names that he recognized.
His eyes drifted over the printed names under the other vessels. He stared in numbing wonder, his mouth dropping opened slightly. He would have never thought that there would be this many Survivors… But then again, how many people did these ships hold? Two, maybe three thousand? If you thought about, really thought hard about it, it just wasn't enough. There just wasn't enough names…
On the opposite side of the room written in the same bold lettering read Region 3, South Atlantic: Confirmed Deceased. There were so many names that there were pages stapled on top of pages as more confirmed deaths pooled in from other sources. Each name was dated and located. There were so many names… So many fucking names…
Nick wondered if he had killed any of these people. Though it was more likely that all those he had killed were still nameless corpses piled on the streets, rotting away. Despite the length of the deceased list, there were probably twice as many names and faces lost along the way that would never be identified. That thought was not a good one.
They moved past the lists—having to squeeze by several worried-eyed Survivors searching the walls desperately. There was a row of tables and behind the tables dozens of disheveled and tired looking military personnel typed away madly at their computers. As the two approached they were waved over by one woman who looked as though she had been typing names in endlessly for days.
"The next updated list will be posted Wednesday at 10:00 am." She nodded briskly, obviously attempting to dismiss them.
"I—uh, actually," Nick fumbled for the words…
Ellis found the words for him. "Actually, ma'am, we're hopin' ya can find some information on the other evac stations. My friend ain't from here, an' so his family ain't gonna be on the New Orleans stuff, probably not even in the southern evac areas. Have ya got any information for like—the Mid-west? Around Nebraska… Omaha specifically."
The woman stopped typing and removed the headset covering one ear. She gave them a long look. "Yeah," she said finally. "I can do that." She stood. "Do you want deceased or living?"
"Both," Ellis said.
"You're going to have to help me carry them then."
"Sure." The southerner moved in between two tables as Nick stared after him. He found himself unable to move. The woman led Ellis into a room that Nick couldn't see into, and when they returned several minutes later they were carrying a stacks of papers that had to equal somewhere between four and five thousands pages.
"Hey man, take those from her, wontcha?" Ellis squeezed in between the tables and after he did Nick moved closer to take the stack away from the woman. "Thanks kindly, ma'am."
"Yeah, just return those when you're done."
"Come on, Nick." Arms straining under the heavy stack, the young man lead the other to an empty bench just outside. He huffed as he set them next to himself. "Geez man… Uh, whas yer last name? I think they're in alphabetical order…" He flipped through a few pages, "Yeah, it looks like it. Looks like I got—uh… the Survivors." He looked up hesitantly. "Do… Do ya wanna switch?"
"No." Nick sat beside the mechanic and set the huge stack by his feet. "It's fine. Look for Gates… and Welsh." Papers shuffled as the two moved handfuls and handfuls of papers aside as they tried to find the G's. Ellis found them first.
"All right, Gates…. Gates… Gates… Okay, here, I found a bunch of 'em. Wha' names am I lookin' for? Eric? An'…" He glanced over at the other man. Nick had stopped shuffling through the names. Instead, he was chewing at his lip, four or five pages still clutching in his hands as he stared somewhere off to his left. There were tears in his eyes. "Hey, man… Are ya all right?"
"Jesus, Ellis… The first time I go looking to find my family it's in a god damn death list. How fucked up is that?"
Ellis rubbed his thumbs over the paper, letting out a suppressed sigh. "Yeah, man, it's kinda weird an' all… But… Ya gatta look. If ya don', then yer gunna jus' keep beatin' yerself up over it."
"Yeah… I know. I know you're right." Nick hung his head and sighed harshly. "This is just so fucked up. So fucked up." The man struggled for a moment until he lifted his head up. "Eric and Nancy." He hesitated. "And Neil. Emily would be under Welsh."
It was oddly silent except for the flipping of pages. Nick's eyes searched the names numbly.
Gates, Aaron—Madison, WI, 10/11/2009.
Gates, Alexander—Bismarck, ND, 10/28/2009.
Gates, Andrew—Fargo, ND, 10/12/2009.
Gates, Anthony—Minneapolis, MN, 10/29/2009.
Gates, Amber—Selby, SD, 10/21/2009.
Gates, Amy—Omaha, NE, 10/17/2009.
Gates, Brandon—Chicago, IL, 11/1/2009.
Gates, Brian—Mission, SD, 10/19/2009.
Gates, Brianna, Cherokee, IA, 10/7/2009.
Gates, Bryce—Lincoln, NE, 10/17/2009.
Gates, Caleb—Madison, WI, 10/11/2009.
Gates, Christopher—Thief River Falls, MN, 10/24/2009.
Gates, Christopher—Sioux Falls, WI, 10/11/2009.
Gates, Cody—Des Moines, IA, 10/8/2009.
Gates, Crystal—Jamestown, ND, 10/11/2009.
Gates, David—Lincoln, NE, 10/13/2009.
Gates, Daniel—St. Paul, MN, 10/27/2009.
He took in a shuddering breath.
Gates, Edgar—Selby, SD, 10/1/2009
Gates, Edward—Duluth, MN, 10/25/2009.
Gates, Edwin—Eua Claire, WI, 10/12/2009.
Gates, Ethan—Fairfield, IA, 10/19/2009.
Gates, Fiona—F's? No more E's? Nick felt his heart flutter with hope. Jesus… maybe Ellis would find something? He flipped through the pages—past the F's, the G's, H's, I's until he find the N's.
His heart sank. It was the first name registered.
Gates, Nancy—Omaha, NE, 10/18/2009.
Shit.
He reached up to dig the heel of his palm in one eye, squeezing his eyes closed tightly.
God damn it, Nick. Hold it together. You're all right, man. You're okay. You knew this was going to happen. You knew it.
He felt Ellis squeeze his shoulder and the older man let out a startled breath. He forced is eyes opened and looked at the mechanic.
"You all righ' man?" Ellis said softly. He looked concerned.
"Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay…" Nick cleared his throat, trying hard to appear indifferent with his findings. But when he spoke, his voice quivered, "I found my mother, so stop looking for her."
Ellis swallowed thickly, the papers, for now, forgotten in his hand. "I'm really sorry, Nick."
"Yeah…" Nick's breath shuddered in and out.
Ellis opened his mouth to speak, but then he stopped. He sighed quietly. "I di'n't find no Eric's or Neil's…" he trailed off. He set aside the rest of the G's and began to sift through the stack. The W's were buried under thousands of names—comforting to say the least, but still in the way. "Are ya gonna keep lookin', Nick?"
"Yeah, no. No, I think I'm done." The conman slowly placed the papers back in place. "Yeah, I'm done… I don't want to know… I don't to know anymore."
"Are ya sure?"
Nick hesitated. No, he wasn't. He wasn't at all sure. Ellis glanced at him as he pulled a stack of W's into his hands. "Do ya wanna look with me?" He shuffled closer, pressing their bodies together. Nick half-heartedly glanced over as Ellis ran his finger down the name of Survivors. Slowly, Nick's eyes joined Ellis'. "Nick…" Ellis breathed out, tapping at the name insistently. Nick saw it too.
Welsh, Emily—E.S. Mid-West, #16. North Atlantic—Vessel 3.
"You're kidding…" Nick found himself laughing with relief. He felt like crying. "You're fucking kidding me…"
"Nah, man. This is the real shit." They both sat and stared at the name. "So… wha' do ya wanna do 'bout it? Do ya wanna… ya know, get moved there?"
"…No." Nick let out a slow breath. "She's alive and… You know, that's all I can ask for."
"Are ya sure? I mean, I think tha' every week they got this system down where they'll move 'round Survivors an' stuff. If ya get on the waitin' list, they'll probably—"
"—Ellis." The conman stared hard at the younger man. Ellis blinked at him. "I'm not going anywhere. All right? I'm staying here…" His lips pressed into a thin line. "You almost sound like you're trying to get rid of me."
"Huh? Wha'? Hell no, Nick. I ain't tryin' ta do tha' at all!"
"Good. Then this conversation's over." He reached down to pick up the pile of papers at his feet and then stood. Without another word Nick returned into the room.
Ellis was left to blink worriedly after him, wondering if he had said something wrong.
A/N: I figured the year by the Midnight Rider's website with Jake's blogging dates. I would have sworn it was in like '07 or '08 but I guess not lol
Honestly, I had to think really hard on how to make the survivor/confirmed death lists make sense… If it doesn't, I'm sorry. Work with me. I'm sure there's massive flaws in the system I put up, but hopefully it's not too obvious. Like I made some shit up that makes no sense lol
I KNOW how I want this to end, I'm just working on getting it there. So, hang on, my friends. I know it was a nightmare to read this chapter.
NOTE: Reposted this chapter since for some reason it stopped showing up for me and said it didn't exist when I typed it in o_O