"I'm just broken"

Tommy signed, pulling the blanket off his face in frustration. He had been tossing and turning all night. He turned to look at the clock; 4:00am.

It had been a couple of days since the night Lil had walked away from him outside of that house party. He couldn't get the pain in her eyes out of his mind. He had never seen such depth and anguish in someone's eyes before. As much as he told himself to move on as she had said, he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Why did she say those things?

She has definitely been keeping to herself these last few days; Tommy's wasn't going to pretend he had been going out of his way to reach her… because he hadn't. He didn't know if he should… or what he would say. What is the protocol if someone tells you to let them go?

She told him she didn't want a relationship with him, and he had to respect that. Right?

The worst part of this whole thing was not having anyone to talk to about this. He didn't know what he was feeling; he didn't know what he should do, and what the hell was going on.

He would usually turn to Phil or Kimi if he was feeling conflicted… and in this case… those are the last people he could confide in.

He could hear Kimi giggling in the living room… this had been going on since they've started going out. It was a little weird the first day, to see your ex-girlfriend with your friend and roommate. Considering a few months earlier, the dynamic between them three was the opposite, but I think as the days progressed, it got less weird. Tommy stepped out of his room and they both turned towards him, cuddled up on the couch together.

He noticed them shift slightly away from each other, likely out of respect for Tommy. He made a mental note to let Phil know that it didn't bother him.

"Guys… I have a question." He finally said, sinking into the couch opposite of them.

Phil turned toward him, "What's up?"

"When a girl says… something," He started cautiously, "…does she actually mean it?" He finished lamely.

Kimi couldn't help but laugh, and Phil smirked, "Trouble in paradise?"

"Huh?"

"C'mon Tommy, I've brought this up with you before… it's clear you're in some sort of secret relationship."

Tommy shook his head, "Are you guys going to answer the question or not?"

Kimi sat up, "As the only representative of the said gender present right now, I will take on this one for you. My answer is… it depends on the situation, you have to give us a little more to work with?"

Tommy contemplated this for a second, hesitant not to say too much. "If she tells you to 'let her go'" he finally revealed, feeling his face turn a little hot.

Kimi cringed, "Eeeks,"

Phil winced, "That's not good. Are a secret serial killer or stalker that we don't know about?" he teased.

Kimi chuckled, swatting him playfully as Tommy scowled.

"You know what, forget it, you guys are clearly making this into a big joke." Tommy said, about to stand up.

"Wait!" Kimi insisted, "Ignore Phil, he's not mature enough for these conversations" She said, covering Phil's face with her hand, "And Tommy, honestly a lot of times when a girl asks you to 'let her go' she secretly hopes you will fight for her. It's one of those 'if he doesn't stop you as you walk away… keep walking' type situations." Kimi answered thoughtfully.

"Unless she's moving on with someone else… then really let her go," Phil couldn't help but add with humour.

Kimi tried to keep a straight face, but couldn't resist a smile. But Tommy was too deep in thought to react. Does Lil want me to fight for her?

No, another part of him reasoned, she specifically stated that if he cared about her, he would let her go. And he hated to admit, he definitely cared about her. She was so different from other girls he had been with… in a good and bad way.

The way she made him feel, even if she just looked at him… it was indescribable.

But on the other hand, she was really messed up. She was hot and cold, and didn't know what she wanted. She played games with him… from the first day he met her. And it was too much for him to deal with.

I have to get over her that is the only option.

Tommy wasn't the type to get hung up over a girl, he had never done that. This had affected him more than he had ever been before already and she hadn't even been his girlfriend.

He excused himself from the family room, shaking his mind clear of all his confusing thoughts. If Lil wanted him to let her go, then he was done making a fool out of himself chasing her. She made it clear that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him, and his pride has been hurt enough from this ordeal.

"Hey Tommy, are you going out clubbing tonight?" Phil called over the couch, where Kimi had snuggled into his arms again.

Tommy didn't skip a beat, "Hell yeah." He will be drowning this distress in a lot of alcohol tonight.

Lil adjusted the strap of her dress over her shoulder as she pushed the hair to the back. She rubbed her lips together, evenly distributing the lipstick over her lips. She was wearing a white tight dress and her hair was in soft curls tonight. She had to admit… she looked pretty hot.

This is exactly what Lil needed. She was done feeling like shit. She did not need to be upset, she needed a distraction. Kimi was having Phil over for a romantic dinner and movie night, and Lil didn't want to third-wheel them at the apartment once again.

She was ready to party.

As soon as she had reached the club, the music immediately calmed her nerves. She headed to the bar and downed a shot right away. She felt it rush to her head, but she didn't care. Her body started to slowly sway to the beat of the music, and a smile made its way to her lips. She didn't care that she was here alone, she didn't need anyone.

"Hey sweetheart, can I buy you a shot?"

Lil turned to find a guy she had seen before at some of these parties, but didn't remember the name of. She shook her head, she shook her head, not willing to attempt to yell over the music. She looked back out at the dance floor to see a mesh of bodies dancing, and she headed into the crowd…

Tommy was definitely buzzing an hour into being at the club, he currently had a girl grinding against him… he didn't remember her face but she had a hot body. They swayed to the music as he held a drink in his hand. He was feeling better already.

Lil felt so alive. She loved the feeling of letting her body sway to the music with a life of its own, and didn't even mind when guys approached her to dance with her. She made her way through the crowd, dancing with people here and there, got pulled into a crowd of Kimi's girlfriends that probably thought Lil would join them for the night. But Lil wasn't to be tied down; she stuck around with them for a little while, but eventually moved on.

She felt someone's arms wrap around her waist from behind, and felt lips brush against her ears, "I've missed you,"

She recognized the voice right away…

Sean.

Lil thought about pulling away, but then she resisted the initial reaction, why the hell not…he's hot and she needed the distraction.

She let him keep his arms around her, and his chest pressed against her back, as she threw her head back and their bodies moved in sync to the music.

Tommy was making his back from the bar when from the side of his eye, he caught view of a familiar hot body in a white dress. He couldn't see the girls face as the guy behind her was blocking most of his view, but there was something about those endless toned legs and hour-glass body that he had a feeling he knew all too well.

He decided against heading back to the VIP section he had been dancing at earlier, and started walking toward the girl. There were too many bodies between them, but as he got closer he saw the guy's head move back and he caught sight of the side of her face.

His breath got caught in his throat. Lil

His eyes immediately went to the guys face, and he felt his fist clench; Sean.

Before he realized it, he had made his way through the crowd and firmly pulled Sean away from her, Sean was about to protest but saw Tommy's eyes narrow in warning. He definitely was not going to mess with a pissed off Tommy.

Tommy wrapped his arms around an oblivious Lil, and she felt the change right away. This body was much more built and knew how to move his body. There was something familiar about it, but the drunken Lil didn't ponder too much on it. She needed to unwind and not give a shit.

This guy was good. They moved to the music, their bodies passionately melding together. Her eyes glazed over in desire, as she reached her arm back and her hand rested against the back of his neck, leading his lips to her throat as she leaned her hand back against him.

When he didn't comply with making use of his lips against her neck, she turned in his arms and immediately felt breathless.

Tommy

His eyes pierced into hers, and she now understand why she felt the way she had in his arms. He had that effect on her, whether she knows it's him or not. The way their bodies fit together was indescribable. She missed him.

So. Much.

…and she needed him.

Lil leaned forward to capture his lips eagerly with hers, but he moved his face away from her reach. Lil felt the disappointment and rejection wash over her right away. In sloppy state, she tried to bring his face closer, but he firmly kept her at distance.

His hold on her loosened. He shook his head, "You've put an end to that," he whispered into her ear.

She felt her face redden in rejection at her eagerness to kiss him… and his firm rejection. His hands slowly travelled down her arms and lingered at her waist, his eyes holding hers, she could barely breath.

Then he turned, and walked away… leaving her in the middle of the dance floor. The buzz she had going before had long gone, and now she was just hot and bothered. Damn him.

Kimi was leaning against Phil's chest, between his legs, snuggled under a blanket on the couch as they watched their movie. But she was having a really hard time concentrating because Phil was kissing and slightly sucking on her bare neck and shoulder.

She moaned, leaning into his touch, "Phil," she whispered in warning.

He smirked against her neck, "What?" he asked innocently.

"You're killing me here," She said, placing her hand against his cheek.

"I can't help it," he admitted, "I can barely believe this real."

Kimi turned in her seat to face him, cupping his face in both of her hands, "Me neither," She said, looking at him affectionately.

"Kimi… you don't know how long I've wanted this," He whispered, almost shyly.

Kimi felt her heart melt, "I'm honestly kicking myself for not realizing much sooner. I took our relationship for granted, I was so oblivious that the guy of my dreams was right in front of me –usually my shoulder to cry on when I wasted my time with a bunch of frogs."

He chuckled, "Yeah that was definitely hard to do."

She smiled sympathetically before leaning forward and capturing his lips in hers, before leaning back, "I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, brushing the hair away from her face lovingly, "Don't be… it wasn't our time, maybe we would've messed it up had we tried this earlier. We've built this on such a solid foundation of friendship and understanding, that it makes it that much stronger to be together now."

She nodded, her eyes trailing down to his lips, and he pulled her closer against him, "I love you," She whispered.

"I love you too, Kimi… I've always loved you."

She felt a tear burn the inside of her eyelids as he brought his lips against her again, passionately claiming her mouth with his. His hands trailed up her shirt and rested right under her breast, "I want you so bad," He whispered.

They had resisted hooking up since the revelation because Kimi didn't want to rush things, but it was getting harder and harder to refrain.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "I want you too, Phil."

He smiled at her, and lifted her off the sofa in his arms. She laughed, and kissed him as he kicked open her bedroom door.

Tommy entered his apartment in frustration, grabbing a glass of water. But before the cup could touch his lips, the image of Sean's hands on Lil entered his mind and his fist tightened against the glass, before throwing it to the floor in anger. The glass broke, shattering to a million pieces on the ground.

He heard his door open and he turned around to find Lil standing there. Door still wide open and she stood there… her eyes meeting his, but not speaking a word.

They both stood there frozen.

So many questions, so many accusations, and so many unsaid things… yet there was silence.

And then, after a pause, Lil closed the door behind and slowly walked over to Tommy, and he was just about to open his mouth to question why she was there when she firmly pushed him against the counter behind him and leaned up to possessively capture his lips. He resisted her kiss, about to pull away but she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

His eyes narrowed, grabbing the back of her thighs and lifting her before turning around to place her on the counter she had pushed him against. His hands moved to cup her ass, pulling her closer to him as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

They finally pulled away to catch their breath, looking at each other breathing heavily. There was going to be nothing sweet and gentle about what was about to happen. They both knew that.

She grabbed both sides of his buttoned shirt in her small fists, tearing the buttons apart and ripping the shirt off of him. He smirked, before grabbing her by the waist and throwing her over his shoulder, heading to his bedroom.

They had no control over this.