A/N: I don't own anyone but Alex...though a certain federal agent and cop glare and shake their heads...
Norman groaned at the banshee wailing to his immediate right.
The alarm clock screeched as the dull red digits loudly proclaimed it was 06:30. He had not consumed the entire bottle from the night before but about a fourth was settling at the bottom.
Damn it...Why did I drink that much?!
The agent chastised his stupidity while smacking the alarm button. The persistent buzzing was grating on his last intact nerves and probably the guests overhead. The only reason he knew this was because one had heavy footfalls that caused for pause on more than one instance.
His hand scrubbed over his face in a few harsh strokes before rising from the comfort of cotton and down.
No, I have to get up. I made a promise to Alex and I intend on honoring that.
The blankets were flung aside as he swung his feet up and over the ledge of the bed. His stomach was stable but still, he regretted consuming so much. But then he recalled why he had.
It had been to silence the surging feelings. That need to be there. Even last night as the burn raced down the back of his throat, it had lingered. That consuming drive to sweep her in his arms and shut the dangers of the world out.
I can't keep thinking like this!
Norman rose, feeling his body screech at his demands. Well tough shit as he needed to move and get to that apartment. His only thought was to get in and out before Ash or Blake discovered him there. The last thing he wanted was to encounter either one of them.
Alex remained under the covers, holding no pull to drag herself out of bed. The self made cocoon of sheet and comforter shut the cold out; both physical and emotional. She had slept the sleep of the dead; thanks to the Ambien that was being sloughed from her body. Her limbs were dead weights as Alex attempted to move but quickly discovered they weren't very agreeable. Well, staying in bed all day was an option.
Wait, she had an appointment to get stitches removed.
No, wait, that was next week. Dr. Teague had scheduled it for two weeks after she got out.
"Alex," Ethan rapped lightly before entering. "Alex, you're not going to stay in bed all day are you?"
"The thought had crossed my mind," she muttered into the sheet.
"I have breakfast cooking. It's egg casserole; your favorite."
"Thanks," she didn't move.
"Why don't you take a shower and then come out to the breakfast nook hmm?" He perched at the end of the bed.
"Why are you doing this?" She drew a part of the bedding back showing a sad smile. "After all the shit I put you and Dad through after Mom died then I came crawling back like maggot on trash. I don't deserve you doing this for me."
"Yes you do. Look," he pulled the blankets further back. "When your mom died it hit you harder than anyone could know. I know now that you were lost. I didn't know how to reach you. Dad didn't know how to reach you. We never blamed you for what you did. Your pain fueled that monster we saw."
"I hurt you guys pretty good. I stole from Dad and pawned your watch from your mom's dad so I could get my next fix."
The corners of her eyes pricked as the tears welled. She vividly remembered that day she had swiped that pocket watch from the bottom of her brother's sock drawer; never once stopping to think of him or the sentimental value he vested in it. She hadn't cared it was passed to him as his grandfather took his final breaths in this life. She didn't give two shits about his heart breaking as the weak leathery hands pressed the heirloom with the fleeting bits of strength. All Alex had been concerned with was getting that sweet sweet orange bottle of euphoria.
"I did get that watch back remember?"
"Wasn't the point Ethan. I was more worried about getting my next hit and did whatever it took to achieve it; even if it meant hurting the ones closest to me."
"I forgave you a long time ago Alex."
"I wasn't worthy of it."
"Does it matter now?"
Alex sighed and slowly shook her head. "No, no I guess not huh?"
"It's in the past now." He gathered his sister in his arms.
Norman careened across the road, earning a few harsh honks and fingers before the wheels came to a stop against the cushion of white. Snow in Philadelphia was different than the snow back home though he had harbored the same sentiment about snow in Michigan, Oklahoma, and Idaho.
He paused, watching for a lapse in traffic before swinging his door open. The stint in Nature's blast chiller was brief as he hurried up the steps, nearly slipping on the hidden patch of ice that was waiting at the threshold. He should've worn more practical footwear; like boots!
"Good morning," he politely called out. A few moments later a older woman with vibrant blonde locks burst from a back office. Her eyes were piercing like cut emeralds as they sized him up. Her stride was powerful and confident; not a woman who was helpless.
"Oh hello!" Her smile was bright and genuine. "How can I help you?"
"I'm Agent Norman Jayden with the FBI," his badge came out instinctively. "I was hoping I could get into Alex Koch's apartment as part of my investigation-"
"Alex! Oh yes that poor poor girl! She's such a great girl! I hope you find that son of a bitch who did that to her!" The smile had morphed into a hateful snarl. Norman knew it was directed at the Ripper and not him. "Her brother, poor soul, he was in and out keeping her place clean so when she got to come home it would be like she never left."
"Alex said you were a wonderful woman. She wasn't lying."
"Oh, did she?" The hard sharp lines softened, vanquishing the decade the snarl had ushered in moments before. "Alex has never been a problem tenant. She always paid her rent a week early, helped Mrs. Reid with housekeeping and groceries when she broke her leg last fall, and looked out for Mr. Brown after his stroke two years back up until he passed away four months ago."
"Wow, I never knew."
"I wish there were more like her in the world. I heard she was finally released."
"Yeah, her brother is taking care of her."
"Oh, he's such a sweetheart! Didn't deserve what those asshole cops did to him. Alex had been adamant he wasn't the Origami Killer. It was what pushed that guy she was dating away. He was a cop."
"That's too bad." For Ash anyways...
"Yes well he and that other cop have been here on and off. Lieutenant Blake is his name. He's such an asshole. He walks in here as though he was someone of great importance; that I was supposed to bow down to his whims. I had never met a more arrogant piece of crap until him. Be careful of that one."
"I'm all too aware of him ma'am."
"Please," she waved the formality with a hand. "Call me Sandra."
"Alright," Norman smiled. "Sandra."
"Oh, yes you wanted the key. I am sorry for keeping you waiting Agent Jayden." She fumbled with a ring of keys until her fingers isolated the smallest one. It was a slender key that fit beautifully into the box on the wall. "Here we go!" She plucked the duo on the ring up and passed them over to Norman. "No rush honey. Just find that bastard."
"Sandra, that's what I intend to do."
He stepped off the elevator, noting the corridor wasn't absent of light. Sandra didn't let anything slip.
"Here we go, apartment 814."
The agent found no difficulty in gaining access but was mindful in locking the door behind him. He didn't wish to be interrupted. This was an opportunity to conduct a more thorough sweep of the apartment. Perhaps a previously overlooked link between Nathaniel Williams and Alex was waiting for him.
His attention was honed on the back part of the dwelling: The master bedroom and bathroom. It was the most logical locations as Alex had been taken from her room and bathroom was adjacent.
Norman was slow as he traversed the hallway, noting a few photos hanging proudly on either side. The first was Alex, clad in the time old traditional gown and cap with a citron tassel flaying in a light breeze. It was a professional work with the date and insignia of the University of Pennsylvania.
Beside was a photo of her and Ethan in the same setting. The elder Mars was beaming brightly, almost on the verge of tears.
Resuming his original direction, Norman continued onward.
He paused at the doorway, donning the glasses and glove before proceeding. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the threshold and began.
"Video recording, Agent Norman Jayden, badge 47023. Investigation resuming at residence of one Alexandra Koch, victim of the Ripper."
The focus centered around the bed area where Alex had been standing. He recalled her mentioning she was by the stand as she had turned off the lamp. The short pulse rippled through the air, revealing nothing new. This didn't deter him. Working in quadrants, he repeated the same act with the next.
This time something came up.
"Fingerprints," he knelt along the dresser. "Lieutenant Carter Blake?! I wonder what he was looking for; it anything relevant."
Blake wasn't exactly a thorough cop, let alone one who was concerned with the well being of the victim. What in the Hell was he looking for!?
Norman pulled the drawer open and quickly slammed it shut. He took a moment to gain his composure then forced his hand to open it back up. Norman found a plethora of colors and shades staring back up at him; boy shorts, bikinis, and thongs to be precise.
"How can women wear these?! They can't be comfortable."
His fingers hesitantly sorted through the rumpled garments, reminding himself he was following Blake's steps. What was he hoping to achieve when he was there?
"Blake what were you looking for? Or were you looking for anything?"
Nothing additional was discovered though Norman was finding himself becoming curious. Had she bought these herself or had Ash bought them? Wouldn't have been shocking if the answer was the latter. It was up his alley from what he could deduce. But then again perhaps she found comfort in the skimpy items. Whatever the reason, he didn't need to be poking around any more than he already had.
Need to move on...
He moved to the next, noting it was all bras of assorted colors and patterns. She was a 34 B but why did he notice that? It wasn't relevant to the case.
His eyes drifted to the window, spotting the latest assault courtesy of Nature. It was supposed to be this way for next several days.
If it's not rain it's fucking snow!
Norman concluded his search through the chest of drawers, concluding that Blake was either a closet perv or looking for something specific. The floor and walls yielded Alex and Ethan's fingerprints with Blake's and Ash's on occasion. The Ripper had been wearing gloves but the shard of leather was the only viable clue they had. The hair, while of interest, could easily be ruled as circumstantial by a jury or a judge.
"Either the killer was immaculate or he cleaned up all traces of his presence. There had been no leads or evidence aside from his targets, methods, and location of the bodies."
An icon blinked indicating additional information had become available for him to review. It would wait.
"Damn, I've gone back through this room and nothing. This bastard is smart."
Plucking the glasses off and replacing them in his pocket, Norman decided he had beaten a dead horse.
"I need to grab those books. But she didn't say which ones."
He went straight for the living room where the bookshelf resided between the front door and TV stand. It was large or tall but impressive. Most were textbooks and reference books which narrowed his search.
"Ah," his eyes lightened up. "Here we go."
Alex was stretched on the couch, thankful her brother was at an appointment with a client. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his caring tendencies but she wasn't made of glass. She would counsel her kids on being able to find the inner strength to get up and fight; fight a system that was against them the moment they were born. A system that had holes and gaps wider than the Grand Canyon.
Yet, she couldn't call forth that same drive and will she had instilled into many troubled youth.
A few cards had been left for her from coworkers and some of her kids. All had expressed deep honest words and prose relaying their wishes for her to come back. Ethan and Madison hoped the conveyances of her cohorts and the ones who looked to her would be a stepping stone for her to awaken from the conscious stupor.
The sudden rapping on the door didn't earn acknowledgment or even a shift of her eyes to the solid slab of oak.
"Alex."
Norman lightly called out.
"Agent Jayden" she moved with the poise and grace of an 80 year old. Her back was aching from the gashes healing across her back and her torso throbbed which Dr. Teague warned could flare up.
"Oh no don't sit up," he hurried over before she could get up any more. "Here, you need to relax."
He placed the small stack on the stand and adjusted the pillow before she could protest.
"Agent Jayden, please, don't do that. You don't need to. I mean this isn't in your job description."
"You're in pain. I can see it in your eyes."
She didn't argue when he leaned over and placed a firm but gentle hand on her shoulder.
"I want to sit up. My sides don't hurt as much if I'm sitting."
"Alright," he let go, taking a step back to permit her some space to shift. The blanket ruffled around her and came to rest around her waist. The same Flyers shirt that she had worn in the hospital was hanging off her shoulders.
"Sit," she tiredly patted the cooling space beside her. Her eyes peered expectantly in his direction. Norman eased into the couch, feeling the heat from her body penetrate the back sides of his legs. Alex had gained a few more pounds on her frame, filling out the hips and waist. The faded orange was slightly tighter across her chest, defining the swells which two weeks before were not as conspicuous.
"Thanks for bringing my books. I'm beginning to get Baby Mama Baby Daddy Fatigue."
"I didn't know you were a fan of Conrad or Shakespeare."
"Did you expect me to be a fan of that HORRID Fifty Shades series?! Please! Shaun could write better BDSM scenes than that woman! Nothing more than sloppily slapped together trash that is peddled and passed off as erotica. In reality, it's a sorry Twilight fan fiction in which the female is a weak pathetic creature who let's a man do whatever he wants to her. I call Christian Grey Lord Fisterbottom."
Norman sat there, unable to develop anything coherent.
"Sorry," she sighed and shook her head. "Fiction has been badly degraded over the last 100 years."
"I suppose it has."
"Blake and Ash haven't been by to harass me. Did you scare them away?"
"No, I'm sorry I can't take credit for that."
"It was worth a shot," she lightly shrugged. "I won't ask if you found anything new. I didn't get my hopes up."
Norman felt his heart going out to her. Been through so much only to be let down by the very system and parties that were established to prevent this.
"You can do so much without the cops sticking their fat noses where it doesn't belong. I'm sorry you had to find out about Ash like that back in the hospital."
"Not your fault." He offered a sympathetic smile.
"He's pissed he decided to be Blake's bitch and now he's acting a like dick and taking it out on you. So uncalled for."
Alex turned towards the books on the stand, taking in the list etched along the worn but well loved spines.
Heart of Darkness
MacBeth
Julius Cesar
Aenid
Hunger Games
The Hobbit
Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring
Catching Fire
Mockingjay
"You picked quite the assortment Agent Jayden."
"You know," he rubbed the back of his neck in an awkward manner. "You don't have to call me Agent Jayden. The few friends and family I had called me Norman."
Alex ceased fingering the pile of fiction, temporarily stunned.
"O-okay," she wasn't sure what to say after that. "Well then, Norman, thanks for the books."
Had the temperature suddenly shot up!? Did the furnace kick in!?
"So how are you feeling?" There it is, the professionalism that wasn't too far behind.
"Okay, I guess. I feel awkward here. Ethan and Madison have been tag teaming me. Making sure I take my meds, that if I'm having a nightmare one of them is there when I wake up. They can't begin to understand. I know they mean well but..."
She sank back into the couch and shivered.
"I won't know peace until he's caught or dead. I know, I know, I've said it before but it's true. Sure, Ethan shared those feelings but he found Shaun and you took out Shelby. He has that closure. I don't."
Norman scooted closer to her, securing her in a warm embrace.
"Thank you," she breathed into his shirt. Norman found his fingers seeking out the slightly damp streaks of chocolate, slowly threading through them; hesitant initially but picking up as she didn't protest or reject the gesture.
"Any time," he whispered. Norman dared to let his eyes close, relaxing against her as she leaned on him. A lump had gathered in his throat, his anxiety manifesting in their closeness.
"Norman," the subtle pressure of her hands had enveloped his face. "You're shaking."
"It's nothing." He choked on his words. The room was growing hazy.
Shit! It's the Tripto! I need to get outta here!
"No," she shook her head and forced his eyes on her. "You're eyes...they're dilating. You're turning pale. What's wrong Norman? What's the matter with you?!"
"I-I have to go."
"N-O," Alex suddenly locked her arms around him. "I'm not letting you bail out on me like you did at the hospital. You are not leaving me."
She knew about that?!
"You are staying here until this passes." For someone who had been through physical Hell, Alex's strength appeared to have resumed full strength. Norman wanted to fight back against her; to rip from her grip and run away. Run from her. His pulse had quickened, turning into a furious sprint. He needed it! Just a little to make it past this.
"Just focus on me okay?" The cool even flow of her words played upon his ears like a soft symphony. "You will beat this. If you have to wrap your arms around me. I REFUSE to let you suffer alone! Not this time."
She pressed her body tighter to his, feeling the tremors rippling from his body. No, Alex couldn't let someone slip. She wouldn't let Norman slip. Alex would never forgive herself if she did.
"Breathe," her hand ran along his spine. "Breathe deep and slow for me."
Alex didn't notice the narrow stream of maroon streaking her hair. Her focus was on Norman navigating this latest attack.
"Don't give up Norman. Please, just hang on to me."
Unstable arms slid further around her waist, as though if they were to let her go she would be lost. Norman could feel his teeth chattering from the force of the seizure that racked his dependent form. Alex was silent but her presence was strong. She couldn't let the waves of her own pain wash away the inroads she was paving with him. Self suffering would be shoved aside, to be faced another day. Surrender was not an option. Ethan didn't give up on her and she was NOT going to let him slip through either.
Just a small sniff and it would all be over...
"Norman don't you dare!" Alex's tongue cracked a stern warning but just as rapidly softened into a simple plea that reached out to him. "I need you."
The agent felt himself slipping from consciousness. Her voice was becoming distant and hollow.
"Don't give up..."
The last thing he remembered was the supportive bridge of flesh catching his limp form.
Norman could sense the light through his eyelids. A set of hands was lightly running through his hair, pausing every so often to curl against the scalp in a massaging pattern. A subtle groan slipped between his lips as his back arched slightly off the couch.
"Welcome back." Her voice was quiet and sympathetic.
The hand shifted to his face, stroking the cheeks, jaw, and neck. Norman settled further into the couch; his head nestled atop the silver and green Eagles blanket. His eyes lifted open though his sight was blurry. Everything was distorted or disproportionate.
"No," a hand pressed into his shoulder, preventing him from rising. "Stay down and relax. The tremors ceased about 10 minutes before you woke up. You're weak."
"How long was I out?"
The attentive strokes resumed. Norman leaned into the caress, finding himself craving more.
"About three hours. Your nose was bleeding but it's stopped. Don't worry, I cleaned everything up."
"Shit," he groaned. "H-how did you know?"
"What did you mean?" Alex loosened his tie further. She had pulled it down to keep his airway unrestricted as he slept. The cloth she had used to cool his feverish skin down sat in a saturated heap.
"I..." Norman was ashamed to say it. He craned his neck to the left, anything to avert her gaze.
"You're an addict. I hate to say this but we can smell our own."
"Oh." The only word he could think of.
"And the vial is your demon. I found it in your jacket pocket."
"What did you do with it?"
"I did you a favor. Just as someone did me a favor." Her fingers trailed across his right cheek. It was as though her fingers had turned to silk upon contact.
"I told you you were strong." He mustered a weak smile.
Alex silently nodded as she continued with the attentive sweeps and strokes. At least he didn't spazz at the fact she had taken that vile tube of turquoise and flushed the shit down.
"What was it?"
"Triptocaine; it alleviated the side effects of the ARI. They warned me the drug was experimental and could produce side effects; addiction was one. You saw what happens when I have a withdraw. I think it was one of the worst to date."
"Jesus! What the HELL were they thinking?! It's like the LSD experiments in the 70s!"
Norman lifted his hand up, seeking out the soft sweet skin that beckoned him until it came to rest along her jaw. His other hand covered hers, curling around until they were secure across the top. He had to overcome this! This need had nearly taken his life in the junkyard after squaring off with Mad Jack.
"I'm sorry for scaring you like that."
"You didn't scare me. I've been around addicts and the children of addicts. I've been threatened more times than I care to recall. That was calm."
"I didn't want you to see me like that."
"I know," Alex sighed. "I did that too. If I saw my dad or Ethan I would run the other way. I'd lock myself in my room or just runaway."
Norman's heart was hammering against his ribs. Her touch was sending charges of electricity through every nerve in his body. The shaking surged through his fingers and hands but it wasn't the Triptocaine that ignited this. If Alex noticed it she didn't reveal it. He felt his hands moving of their own accord, coming to rest on the back of her neck, drawing her closer. Alex's body was trembling, increasing in intensity with each inch closed between them.
Her lips were so close, millimeters from his. He knew this was wrong. They both knew this was wrong. Everything could be at risk: the case, his job...her life. Just one time. How could one kiss be so wrong?
Fuck integrity!
It was soft; the feel of his lips upon her lips. Neither one was ready to sever it. Alex dared to hold his face in her hands and slowly part the partially chapped lips with the tip of her tongue. A sharp short gasp of surprise filled his mouth at the warm slick muscle penetrating past his lips; a gasp that melted into a groan of pleasure. Normand pushed, keeping the precious contact between them as he encircled his arms around her hips, pulling her down onto him.
The air grew thick with the tension that had been simmering between them, ready to explode into a fiery storm of passion and need. Her hands snaked up and under the jacket, tugging at the white button up shirt. The deep groan that rumbled in his throat encouraged her on, lifting the wrinkled bottom up until light pink peeked from underneath. Slender fingers raced up and under the undone garment, committing scar and crevice to memory. His body was on fire, heated by the layers of cotton and polyester in which he forgot to discard. The dangerous thoughts that had danced in the dark corners of his mind slowly trickled towards the light. The part of him that had long been locked away, the part of him that wanted nothing more than to pin her between him and the cushions, tasting and taking her until she was screaming his name.
"We shouldn't be doing this," he panted between kisses.
"No, we shouldn't," Alex concurred though she didn't stop. "But...But I NEED you..."
"I need you too," he cupped her face holding her gaze with his. Alex felt how much he needed her pressing against her lower body. "But-" He was cut off with the firm touch of her lips.
"I know. I haven't fully recovered and..."
"When this nightmare is over..."
Norman lowered back into the couch, urging Alex to join him with a squeeze of her hand. She snuggled in close, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder. She closed her eyes and focused on the steady rhythm of his heart.
"I didn't lie when I said I will do what it takes to find that bastard. I care about you Alex."
He couldn't see the smile his confession had inflicted.
"I care about you too Norman." She looked up with eyes moistening with tears. His thumbs swept the tears away as they crept from the corners of her eyes. "I'm going to help you."
His arm draped over her waist refusing to let her go.
"My stitches are out next week...finally."
"Yeah? I noticed the gauze was gone." His hand reveled in the absence of the thick pad, tracing random shapes and patterns along and across the back of the shirt.
"When this case is over," Alex shuddered. "When this case is over will you be leaving for good?"
"Honestly, I don't want to unless you-"
"No."
Alex took a deep breath before continuing. "You may think this is strange but before I met you, I already knew you were a good person. After being an addict and spending time on the streets, I learned to read people and I got damn good at it."
"Tell me, what did you read?"
"I can see you're compassionate, driven, and did what it took to find my nephew. You genuinely care about people but your street smarts are off a bit. You're not a weak individual but struggle with your addiction."
"That's impressive," Norman was taken aback by her astuteness.
"It helps with some of my cases. I can tell when some kids are lying to me. If you want, I'll show you how to pick up on the subtle signs. Maybe it will help you in the field."
"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."
"It's a date."
He pressed his lips to the center of her forehead while stroking her hair. Hearing her say how she felt alleviated the burden that had followed him since that day in the hospital.
"Can you stay? At least until Ethan comes back?"
I NEED you...
Her plea replayed in his mind.
"I didn't plan on going anywhere."
"Thanks." A loud yawn rudely interrupted the tender moment between them. "Sorry."
"It's alright," Norman dismissed her apology. "Med?"
"Pain medication; it can make me drowsy."
"Then get some rest."
Her hand swatted around the back of her legs until they landed on the corner of the blanket. Norman pulled it up around her then attempted to remove the heavy jacket. After a handful of attempts the cumbersome coat came off and landed without afterthought. He was content, with her, curled up and fast asleep. Fuck the morals and ethics. Alex was what mattered.
With a final sweet kiss to her waiting lips, Norman shut his eyes and allowed his body to rest.