Wham!
That had felt…odd. No, a perplexed Sirius drowsily corrected himself as he blinked upwards, it wasn't just falling again onto his back during his latest trip out of a nap in a nice, comfortable bed entirely filled with thankful, lusty women, each and every one of them more than willing to robustly express their gratitude with their nubile bodies for rescuing them from some sort of masked homicidal maniac.
As the wizard blearily peered at this new location's ceiling with its attached steel pipes running along the top of this room, leaking steam from every joint and causing everything within eyesight to appear dim and hazy, he managed to vaguely realize that his own mind was itself feeling fuzzy. Dreamily glancing around at the dripping, stained concrete walls and the rusty steel-grated walkway he was lying onto, Sirius distractedly wondered if he might have overdone it a bit at the last stop, making the beast with, um, four backs, involving, let's see-
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"
Languorously, Sirius tilted his head back to see who'd just angrily shouted behind the wizard, managing to catch sight of what presently looked in the wizard's inverted vision an upside-down figure beginning to irately stalk towards the man lying on the hard metal floor, belligerently thrusting forward of himself his gloved hands that had…knives for fingers?
It had to be admitted that Sirius' first muddled thoughts, at observing those bizarre hand coverings making menacing scraping sounds as these knives were clenched together, was to wonder: *How in blazes does that bloke manage things in the loo?* While he was contemplating that, the wizard absentmindedly regarded the enraged figure coming nearer, with his workman's trousers, red-and-black striped shirt, strange hat, and-
*Ugh. Now, him, he's got an actual reason to wear a mask.* Grimacing at the sight of that horribly burned face borne by someone now only a few steps from the unexpected intruder into Freddy Krueger's domain, a torpid Sirius began to open his mouth to helpfully suggest to this furious monster that he'd be doing everyone an immense favor by concealing his buggered-up mug behind, say, something tasteful in black velvet, until the wizard's attention was lazily distracted by something his indolent eye finally caught sight of behind an advancing Freddy.
Standing there were two young and pretty women with their arms pulled up over their heads and shackled to the far wall that their bodies were pressed up against, who now despairingly stared at the man on the floor about to be murdered by their nightmarish tormentor. Owlishly blinking at that extraordinary scene, Sirius woozily examined every inch of those firm female bodies, which were clearly revealed by the accompanying knife-slashes in their tattered clothing and the resulting gory wounds oozing copious amounts of blood.
At that exact moment, before Sirius could actually begin to react to this, his view was abruptly blocked by a pair of shabby boots, as Freddy Krueger stopped in front of the head of the man sprawled there on the ground, brandished his finger-blades downwards at the intruder's gaping face, and gleefully opened his scarred lips to make one of his trademark sadistic quips.
However, for the first time ever, the worst nightmare of Elm Street was cut off in mid-threat by a very groggy voice speaking in a distinct English accent coming from lower down on the floor, "You know, I don't think I like you very much. SECTUMSEMPRA!"
A few seconds later, Sirius managed to get to his feet and as he tucked away his wand into his arm holster, he then began lurching in the direction of the screaming girls frantically yanking at their wall chains. Both the wizard's unsteadiness and those young women's panic had to do with the fact that the entire room around themselves was now physically shifting, with the floor, walls, and ceiling flexing inwards and outwards. Sirius' last few steps toward the prisoners were at a dead run, due to the floor directly under him abruptly swelling upwards, sending him hurtling right at the pair of girls and then colliding hard with these teenagers and the wall behind them also.
As they all gasped for breath from the impact of the wizard's body against the only other people presently occupying a dreamscape no longer under the vicious control of a now-destroyed child murderer, Tina and Nancy gaped right into the pleased face of the beaming man in his suit embracing them with his arms around their raised shoulders. As he hung onto the girls, they listened in absolute shock to this scatterbrained stranger's genial tone:
"Hello, ladies! I'm Sirius Black, and whatever might be your own names, which I'm sure will be as delightful as- OW!"
Nancy had kicked this guy very hard on his right shin, and once this girl felt sure she had his total attention, that high school student screamed right into that startled man's face, "GET US OUT OF THESE!" as she uselessly tugged at her shackles.
Thoughtfully closing one eye as he examined the girls' metal restraints, Sirius finally shrugged, and the wizard then amiably confided in a happy voice that seemed truly out of place at that desperate moment, what with the far end of the room past him beginning to vanish into nothingness, "Well, if you'd be so kind to suggest someplace you know where we can go, I'll take you there. You just need to think about it, since it won't work for me-"
"MY BEDROOM!" shrieked Tina, staring in horror at the advancing wall of blackness ahead steadily coming towards them all.
A truly blissful expression now appeared upon Sirius' features, as he joyously clapped both of his hands onto the tops of the girls' heads, and willed his magic to transport them to that very location supplied by a young woman just an instant before the entire dreamscape collapsed into non-existence.
Tina slammed hard against something that easily cushioned her falling body, causing her to bounce up and down several times as she yelped in surprise, before she finally came to rest lying on her left side in the bed, as the girl gaped at what was in front of herself. There, a few feet away, was her totally familiar bedroom wall with its window, the new curtains covering this pane that she and her mother had picked out several months ago, and the years-old 'Grease' poster hanging there and showing off John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John as their characters in that movie musical.
Hastily looking down, Tina found herself to be dressed in her normal nightwear of a white, loose wifebeater and panties. Wonderingly touching her unmarked body that showed absolutely no signs of her recent ordeal, Tina finally paid attention to what she'd only barely bothered to notice before in her recent landing: the other impacts onto the bed behind herself, along with the muffled groans and grunts of reaction to their own sudden descents onto the mattress.
Quickly rolling over in the bed, Tina managed to blurt out, "Nancy, are you okay…" before Freddy Krueger's first victim trailed off in her anxious question to instead stare in open-mouthed disbelief at what she was seeing.
Her friend Nancy, currently on the far right side of the bed, was herself looking down with eyes the size of saucers at her own unharmed body, or at least what she could actually observe of it, since her view was mostly blocked by the head of an unmoving man dressed in a suit and lying down on his front in the middle of the bed, with his upper torso twisted around to place the front of his face directly onto Nancy's heaving chest just barely clad in her babydoll nightgown.
After a few more exceptionally agreeable moments in his landing place, Sirius Black at last lifted his head, to then wink at a blushing Nancy, as that wizard then rolled over onto his back, squirmed up the bed to put his upper body against the pillows there, and then lifted his arms to possessively place those limbs around the shoulders of the startled girls. As he gently hugged the unresisting young women, the Englishman jovially commented, "Well, ladies, I think we'd better introduce ourselves. Then you can explain to me exactly what happened, where we were, and who that ugly bloke was. In return, I'll do the same. How does that sound?"
Tina and Nancy had their gazes lock together over the trim body of the strange man who'd somehow saved them from Freddy Krueger. They instantly came to the same decision and shared this unspoken choice with each other by eye alone, along with something further the two of them truly needed to do before whatever else happened.
Simply to make sure that this wasn't yet another dream, both of the high school students now carefully pinched themselves, each other, and finally Sirius Black himself, leading that contented wizard to guffaw out loud over all this, accompanied by the happy barking in his head heard only by Harry Potter's godfather:
*WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!*