Chapter 10

"Me? A creep?" Kakashi pointed at himself. That's the first, he frowned underneath his mask, I thought she was going to call me a pervert or something. This is even worse, isn't it?

"I've just shared with you a personal story, but you shared nothing in return."

Kakashi was used to being criticized for his secrecy, but so far they had all respected his wish and asked no further than what he allowed them to know. Looking at her, however, he knew she wouldn't let him get away with a lazy off-topic comment or an elaborate excuse. He considered disappearing and leaving her behind; then he glanced at her. Her cheeks were rosy due to the alcohol, and she was walking on a narrow zig-zag line. Tsk, no one's here at this hour, he looked around, I can't just leave her alone. He continued thinking. Well, I guess I can m...

"If you lie, I'll know," she said.

"Well, what do you want to know?" he feinted surrender. "My dreams and hobbies? Likes and dislikes?"

"I'm not one of your students," Athena gently corrected, "I just want you to share with me one of your scars, since I shared mine with you."

The conversation was starting to make him uncomfortable. He had no wish to recount his past to anyone, especially to one who never knew the way of a shinobi. Scars, she said? He remembered the countless bodies on the battlefield, and those who didn't even have enough of their bodies for a proper funeral. Obito. He forcefully brushed the thought off his mind. Something suddenly snapped inside him, and his voice lowered into a dismal tone.

"You think my life is fascinating?" he looked directly at her, "you have no idea what it really means to be a shinobi. I have no desire to share anything with you."

A cold breeze suddenly lifted itself out of nothingness and passed between them. The pale moon hung like a giant drop of tear about to fall down on earth. Athena looked into Kakashi's eye and saw in its calm blue a pain so deep and wide like a great river one could never cross. She could not imagine how much more painful his expression would look without the mask obstructing half his face. A compassionate tear silently rolled down her left cheek as she understood that her own suffering was only a prick of a needle compared to the wound inside his heart.

"It must hurt a lot then," she wiped away her tear, "this life of a shinobi."

Her reaction surprised him. He was half-expecting her to spout out some insults like earlier in the evening. Instead, she was patiently waiting for him. Her eyes didn't have the admiring glitter of a young girl towards a love interest. In fact, she didn't look excited or happy at all. She looked cautious, vulnerable, and sad. Something about her reminded Kakashi of himself. The sadness. The street was empty and very quiet. He could hear the sighing of street cats, and the random crackle of dry leaves.

"I killed many people," he said, trying to keep his voice as placid as possible, "both out of self-defense and out of orders. A shinobi suppresses his emotions to become a perfect killing machine with the mission in mind, but..."

His throat closed up, and he opened both his eyes to meet hers. The Sharingan glowed blood-red under the bluish tone of the night. His eyes looked like they were crying, yet all the tears were flowing backward.

"That's why Naruto is special. He's changing what it means to be a shinobi." Kakashi stopped on his track. Looking into the blue hazel eyes of Hayanashi Athena, he hardened his voice, "that's why I won't allow anyone to harm him."

His blue and red eyes, cold as ice and hot as fire, rested upon her face like two daggers next to an enemy's throat. Her gentle and playful neighbor disappeared, and the man before her became her judge. This sudden change of atmosphere froze her.

"Hayanashi Athena, I will ask you these questions only once. Are you here to spy on us?"

"N...no," she tried to swallow down her stuttering.

"Are you in anyway associated with Akatsuki or any ninja organizations?"

"No."

"Are you here to gather information on Naruto or a specific member of the Konoha's ninja force?"

"No, no I'm not."

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Yes I am!" she yelled at him, "I've told you that already. What's wrong with you people?"

"We need to make sure you're not a threat," he said flatly.

"But I didn't do anything!"

The alcohol was making her dizzy. The round moon shape twisted and blurred as if it were painted on a wrinkled curtain. Her right leg suddenly gave out, and she fell on her knee.

"It was an order," he kneeled down next to her. He placed his hand on her shoulder as if to offer some comfort.

"All the friendly gestures and the kind words, they were to goad me on?"

"Certain things take precedent over hurt feelings," he said.

"You're telling me to get over myself."

"You're doing it again," he frowned, "you're making it harder on yourself and on the other person. I could have had it easier on myself by having you thrown in jail and let the interrogation squad do their job."

"I recommended the Hokage to hand you over to the Interrogation Squad, but Kakashi-sensei stood up for you. He thought you might be innocent."

The bright moonlight lit up patches of his silver hair. Kakashi closed his eyes and contemplated something for a few minutes, then turned to Athena with a kind expression on his face.

Kakashi himself wasn't exactly a model in amicable attitude. He was widely known for his callous and confrontational way of conversing, which pissed off more than enough of his colleagues. At first, he had dreaded the thought of feinting politeness around some woman, but Athena appeared to be just as blunt and insensitive as he, especially in the way she treated the confiding of personal secrets as a fair information exchange. However, he thought, she's a kind person at heart.

"You cried for me," he said, "a stranger and a killer."

"Weren't you just acting?" she asked.

"No," he replied firmly.

"But you didn't trust me. Why did you tell me anything if you didn't trust me?"

"Well," he hesitated for a moment, "I guess I hoped, or rather wanted, you to be innocent."

Kakashi turned away from her and looked at the sky. His voice became at once old and timeless.

"I'd like to believe that the world is changing, and that most people are friends, not enemies."

His voice was filled with hope, yet not without a tint of sadness. His eye returned to her face. The dark grayish blue was close and yet distant, caring but also piercing, open...yet unfathomable.

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The next morning she woke up with the warm sunlight on her face. It must be morning, she yawned. Without opening her eyes, she pressed her face into the pillow to hide from the sun. Athena sighed with pleasure and stretched her body along the bed. Wrapping herself in the soft blanket, she felt like being cuddled. She pressed her nose against the pillow and inhaled deeply. It was a warm sandalwood scent mixed with fresh and cool oak moss. Lingered between those synthetic scent molecules was a faint body odor left in the fabric threads through daily use. It reminded her of metal and wood together, something very hard and yet surprisingly tender. It reminded her of something she had smelled before.

She suddenly remembered that her own pillow was flat with cheap cotton cover, her mattress hard and thin, and her blanket a quilt of cheap left-over fabric bought in bulk at the store. Athena opened her eyes. The pillow under her head was rich and full of soft stuffing. The blanket she wrapped herself into was insulated and olive green with black shuriken pattern. Also, that scent...

"Oh you're up," a lazy and slightly muffled voice jerked her mind awake. She directed her eyes towards the foot of the bed and gasped at the sight of Hatake Kakashi, fully clothed in his jounin outfit, with a glass of something in his right hand. His left hand was in his pant pocket.

Upon seeing him, she automatically pulled the cover over her head like an embarrassed five-year-old. The thought of having gotten herself so drunk that she had to vacate at his place overnight was beyond humiliating. I'm almost twenty-five forgodsake, she scolded herself for making a grown man take care of her like a baby.

Oblivious to her humiliation, Kakashi looked at the figure hidden beneath the blanket, a bit surprised at himself. He didn't recall ever having anyone else except himself on his bed for the night. His few affairs were often carried out somewhere else, though he did recall some rare 'encounters' here. However, they were always over when the moon was still high out; he preferred to walk them home right after and then sleep on his own bed alone. 'I have a very narrow bed,' he would tell them.

Now there was a woman in his bed, whom he had not bedded nor had he any intention to do so, who had stayed until morning.

"How's your hangover?" he asked.

Athena heard a dull and soft thud right next to her as he placed the glass down on the nightstand, and she hid herself even further beneath the blanket. He was still standing there, making no intention to move. Hiding from him using his blanket, which was soaked in that unfathomable scent of his, proved to be a futile and poorly-thought-out plan on her part. His scent was enveloping her, making her feel more engulfed in his presence. Slowly she peeled down the blanket and peered at the figure looming over her.

"Good morning," she said weakly.

"Good morning," he replied in his usual indifferent tone, "Drink this. It'll help with your hangover."

"Thanks," and would you stop calling it a 'hangover'?

"Your face looks flushed," he bent down and quickly placed his bare knuckles on her forehead, "are you sick?"

She was too embarrassed to stop him, so she lied quietly as he inspected her temperature. The forehead protector was once again covering his left eye. In the sunlight, Kakashi appeared more like a normal man than a soldier. It was the first time she had seen his face so close-up. He's quite good-looking, she thought, even with that mask on.

"Well, you seem fine. Just rest for the day."

"I can't," she sat up, suddenly reminded of her plan, "I offered to help out at the Ichiraku Ramen Bar."

"The allowance we gave you wasn't enough? I can talk to the treasury for you if you want."

"Oh no," she got out of the bed and started looking for her shoes, "I just...want to help out."

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'? I've been a diligent taxpayer for six years, I'm not planning to be a social burden anytime soon," she put on her shoes and was rushing towards the door.

"Okay," he replied flatly, but quickly grabbed her wrist as she reached for the doorknob, "but simmer down and drink your tea first."

She took the glass from him and emptied it. "Good," he was satisfied when she returned the empty glass back to him, "when do you have to go to work?"

"This evening," she answered.

Now that he was done with his investigation of her, Athena could spot the change in his behavior. Before, he didn't want to offend her. Now, he didn't give a rat ass what she would think of him. In fact, he sounded more like he was giving out commands rather than being caring. A character flaw I guess, she chuckled silently. She liked him more this way, less phony and more direct. Plus, it probably meant he really believed in her innocence if he chose to be himself around her.

"There's a park on the east side of the library. Go there and enjoy the sunshine. It'll be good for you," Kakashi put the glass down on the table. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he said, "I'll be there for an afternoon reading if you care to join."

He gave her two small green capsules, which smelled like bitter melons, and told her to take them in case of headache. "I'm meeting with the Hokage today," he opened the door, "I'll tell her that you're innocent."

"Thank you," she said, after he had closed the door on her.